Genealogist: Adam Was Born Oct. 23rd, 4004 BC

Via press release from Christian Newswire:

Following several years of researching ancient, medieval, and modern-day records, genealogist Rob Faw uncovered Adam’s birthdate to show humanity’s connections throughout history. His research reveals a 144-generation connection that confirms a lineage beginning with Adam, Eve and God and moves onward to Queen Elizabeth II.

The exact location of Adam’s birth is unknown, but thought by biblical scholars to be generally somewhere in the Middle East, perhaps in the Tigris-Euphrates River Valley. Faw studied the generations that migrated from the Middle East to Ukraine, Israel, Egypt, North Africa, Spain, Ireland, Scotland, and England.

The birthdate of Adam (October 23, 4004 BC) is in of itself a startling revelation unknown to most people. Seventeenth-century scholar and theologian, Dr. James Ussher, determined the birthdate of Adam after studying Chaldean, Persian, Greek and Roman history. He was also an expert in the Bible, biblical languages, astronomy, ancient calendars, and chronology. Dr. Ussher’s prolific 1,600-page volume, “The Annals of the World”, is considered one of the classic works of literature that is respected for its diligence and accuracy. His colossal work contained over 14,000 footnotes of which less than twenty percent was derived from the Bible.

Whether one chooses to reconcile Adam’s birthdate from a perspective of science or religion, we have a specific date of birth for the first man known by name in recorded history. This history is overlaid by a cultural, scientific, and religious past that affirms our ancient heritage and existence of a real Adam and Eve, and their connection to all of humanity.

  • bkmn

    Wonder what university granted him a genealogy degree….Libety?

    • Todd20036

      … or Tranny U

  • Tomcat

    Bullshit!!!!

    • Mark Née Fuzz

      You beat me to it. I was going to say horeseshit, but the gist is the same.

  • Michael R
    • AmeriCanadian

      Makes the same amount of sense.

      • Butch

        Do you walk to work or carry your lunch?

        • AmeriCanadian

          That depends. Is it hotter in New York or in the summer?

          • Frostbite

            Yes.

        • NMNative

          He rides the special bus.

          • JackFknTwist

            the “Shortbus” !!

    • Todd20036

      I never did trust toasters….

      • safari

        Put a poptart in one, have it fail, and you’ll be lucky if it is only your kitchen that is destroyed. Poptarts are processed foods’ pyros.

    • Duh-David

      What’s the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

      [I love non-Euclidean jokes]

      • DoctorDJ

        Seen written on the wall of the physics building:
        “Heisenberg may have been here.”

        • Duh-David

          Mrs. Schrödinger: “Honey, what did you do to the cat, he looks half dead?”

          • Maria

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a great New Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !da62d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyLineUpdateWorkFromHome/more/cash ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!da62lu

          • Calamity_Jean

            spam flag

    • Nowhereman

      Phil Robertson’s first sermon.

    • Grumpy Old Man

      Are you now or have you ever been?

  • Rebecca Gardner

    A week later Santa Claus was delivered via the Easter Bunny.

    • Mark

      I thought it was Cupid!

      • Rebecca Gardner

        No, Cupid and the Tooth Fairy had a thing going on at the time.

        • Mark

          I’m always the LAST to know all the dirt! 🙁

        • MarkOH

          Is THAT where leprechauns come from?!

    • Galvestonian

      It was a stork — or maybe he was found under a cabbage leaf.

    • Andymac3

      Finally, it all makes sense.

  • safari

    More weaponized stupidity

  • whollyfool

    Now we just need to trace every human back to him through DNA. 🙂

    • AmeriCanadian

      Yep. Though it will prove interesting that our common ancestral “mother” lived approximately 200,000 years ago. I wonder how that will be reconciled.

      • Tomcat

        Simple….. to them it did not happen.

      • Frostbite

        Fake DNA planted by Satan to fool everyone, just like fossils.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    (rolls eyes) Lucy beats him by more than 3 million years. And she has bones to prove her existence. Even Kennewick man is so much older than fictional Adam.

    • Snarkaholic

      “No, she doesn’t! She was built like that because she had extreme arthritis!”
      (The bible bangers actually use this ‘explanation.’)

      • Skeptical_Inquirer

        (sighs) They keep claiming that the skeletons are of deformed or ill people.

        • Snarkaholic

          “That skeleton isn’t eleventy-million years old! His bones are just reeeeeally brittle because he was lactose intolerant!”

      • thatotherjean

        That was the one of the ideas used to explain the differences between modern humans and Neanderthal man, when he was first discovered.

  • Dean Cameron

    I should have baked a cake.
    I’m sure “Lucy” would have been happy to deliver it!

  • Tomcat

    Just more of that Knights Of The Templar bullshit to me. There is no actual proof to any of this shit that is not made up.

  • Butch

    “A startling revelation” it is indeed. Translated, I believe that means “I made it up.”

    • Todd20036

      It’s not as if he really needs to provide any scientific evidence to the cult members that believe that 2 people created everyone, and that it happened a second time after a great flood.

      • JackFknTwist

        After the Great flood when a genocidal god destroyed most of the humans, there were 8 people.

        It seems Adam was ‘born’ about 1000 years after the Celts had constructed the tumulus mounds at Newgrange and at Knowth in county Meath, Ireland.

        I mention this because if I remember Bishop Ussher was at Trinity in Dublin. he may have been Professor of Divinity. (I am too tired to Google it.) But he wouldn’t have known how old those monuments were.

      • John30013

        They do like their veneer of science, though. C.f., George Rekers or that recent idiot Regnerus.

    • Stogiebear

      aka: I pulled this shit out of my ass.

      • Butch

        Professor Otto Yerass is a well-known academic.

        • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

          You mean schizophrenic.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I’m reminded of the whacky stuff Joseph Smith came up with to support his scam.

  • Randy Ellicott

    His credentials are… well stupid: Rob Faw is a Board-Certified Master Christian Life Coach with a graduate degree in global leadership from the University of San Diego. He is a Research Fellow with The Arthur C. Custance Centre for Science and Christianity.

    • clay

      “Global leadership from USD” = ex-military certification for experience.

  • Natty Enquirer
    • Dayglo

      Ah, the great Vincent Price. His daughter claims he was bisexual. Jon Stewart commented “He liked both the pit AND the pendulum.”

  • Adam Stevens

    But, where’s Waldo? Anyone found Waldo???

    • Paula

      Waldo was licking toads and finding Nirvana, when Adam was born. That time is really a blur to him. He doesn’t like to talk about it.

  • Ore Carmi

    “Birth?” Who was his mother?

  • shellback

    April 11 is the date I pulled out of my ass – it is just as accurate.

    • Snarkaholic

      You pulled out…of your own ass? I’m impressed!

  • Nax

    Old Style? or considering the Gregorian reform of the calendar?

  • Dubito et cogitare

    I still want to see the genealogy of Adam and Eve’s grandchildren.

  • Treant

    So, why would God create the planet in exactly the orbital position for October 15, 4004 BC? There’s nothing special about that date, and it presents great challenges for the created animals as the Northern Hemisphere swings into winter without the animals having had time to prepare for difficulties.

    Call me crazy, but I would have chosen September 20th or March 21st. Animals in both hemispheres get the best shot at unassisted survival.

  • boobert

    Born ? I thought he was created . lol

    • NMNative

      Out of god’s space dust or something. Molded him like a lump of clay if I remember all those bible stories from 50 years ago.

      • Frostbite

        Just like Wonder Woman!

        • Mark

          She’s got better hardware.

    • 2patricius2

      That’s the biggest scandal of all – born and not created. This will rock the very foundations of creationist beliefs for centuries to come…or maybe not. Fantastical beliefs are hard to dislodge.

    • Robert Conner

      Eve’s Mommy was a rib.

      • John

        Do you think it might have been smothered in bar-b-que sauce…or at least a “special sauce”….. LOL

  • MonochromeMouse

    These are the same kinds of “scientists” who insist that every single time evidence of an ancient civilization is discovered that it’s either Sodom and Gomorrah or it’s Babylon, even when they’ve already made the same claim hundreds of times before.

  • Lazycrockett

    What bout Steve?

  • Gustav2

    It must have been difficult with Mitochondrial Eve in Africa.

    • Paula

      And 95,000 years earlier.

  • Harveyrabbit
  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Can we ask for Adam’s long form birth certificate?

  • Tomcat

    But, But, But wasn’t Adam created and not born? Make up our feeble minds

  • safari

    As a reminder, this is one of the Mormon’s goals.

    • safari

      Along with post-death baptism of everyone.

    • Tomcat

      You mean the religion based on a con mans bullshit story?
      A man that had been run out of Missouri for grifting.

  • Paula

    Adam was Libra. Who knew?

    • Robincho

      Faw is clearly working for scale…

    • TK

      Scorpio

      • Paula

        You’re right, my bad. That’s what I get for trying to read sans glasses.
        Scorpio? I have been living with a Scorpio for 24 years. Poor Eve.

  • frogview

    Kilroy was here!

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I’ll never get over how Cain just found a wife out there somewhere, who I’m assuming wasn’t a sister-wife.

    • Dirk Prophet

      Hey, don’t judge.

    • safari

      I’m surprised Duggar’s defenders didn’t use that justification.

    • Paula

      Cain’s wife was visiting from another Eden, down the street.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        She sounds kinda slutty if you ask me.

    • Treant

      While Cain’s wife is at 5:20, the whole thing and the whole series are worth a look. Let me find the Lilith episode…

      https://youtu.be/QGukKa1vEzA

    • Treant

      That was fast. Here’s the Lilith episode…which I’m presenting without comment.

      https://youtu.be/CJM0OHmnc1Q

    • The_Wretched

      She came from the land of Nod. The Nodders weren’t “human” though, they were animals that looked like humans and could cross breed with humans.

      • AmeriCanadian

        So…bestiality? Nice.

        • clay

          (or . . . racism)

        • Bad Tom

          Totally down with incest, so sure, why not?

      • JackFknTwist

        Is that to the east of Eden ?

        • The_Wretched

          According to Genesis 4:16: And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden

          • Galvestonian

            I thought that Nod was some dude that sailed around in a wooden shoe and caught fish with silver nets.

        • jerry

          Yes, according to Elia Kazan 1:1…

  • Dirk Prophet

    Dat’s a whole lot of begatin going on.

  • The_Wretched

    “Whether one chooses to reconcile Adam’s birthdate from a perspective of science or religion”

    Whether someone wants to just make up wild ideas or actually know something (or not) based on evidence….

  • Stephen Elliot Phillips

    4004BC so approximately 6k years ago?

    • Treant

      Yeah, but most records were lost in the Y2K BC glitch that destroyed all their computers.

      • AmeriCanadian

        I thought that was the Y0 glitch.

        • David Walker

          I thought it was the flood that short circuited the mother board. Or something.

        • Treant

          That one was almost as bad, but the Y4K BC and Y2K BC glitches had at least taught them a little something.

        • clay

          That only occurred on old McDonald’s farm.

        • Bad Tom

          The transition from negative to positive dates really screwed things up.

    • David Walker

      Wow. Talk about coincidence or verification or vilification or bullshit. I would have never seen that coming. Good insight, SEP.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    This just reminds me of the multiple times they have claimed to have found Noah’s Ark.

    • Tomcat

      It is in Kentucky, they found it a couple of years ago./s

      • Bad Tom

        It turns out it’s animatronic.
        Who knew?

  • Charles in Bloomington

    Interesting, since I have stood in the archaeological excavation of Jericho (to name one), where one can see the layers of civilization going back 10,000 years or more.

    • Natty Enquirer
    • Frostbite

      Fake news history!

    • Kevin Perez

      I’ve looked up into the night sky and have seen Andromeda. The light of which has been travelling to Earth for two and a half million years.

    • liondon#iamnotatraitor

      Fake facts

    • Raising_Rlyeh

      If I remember an archaeology course I took as an undergrad, wasn’t Jericho long gone by the time of the supposed conquering by Aaron and the Jews and then rebuilt later?

      *like most ancient locations it was destroyed and rebuilt many times over.

  • Kevin Perez

    Unless I see his long form birth certificate, I still think Adam was born in Kenya.

    • marshlc

      His mom’s name was Lucy.

  • Boreal
  • Sam_Handwich
    • Dirk Prophet

      Their teeth tend to clatter.

    • Tomcat

      Just decipher all the Indian tablets.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      #GrammarMatters

  • PickyPecker
    • fuzzybits

      You can tell they’re not eating a lot of micky d’s.

    • Boreal

      That lazy gawd never hands me lunch.

    • JT

      “Supersize me!”

    • Uncle Mark

      Did he order the forbidden baked apple pie?

    • Andymac3

      This is sacrilege, God works at Chick-fil-A

    • Nowhereman

      Now THAT is really really funny!

  • ErikDC

    Aristophanes wrote in his play, Clouds: “If you do these things I tell you, and bend your efforts to them, you will always have a shining breast, a bright skin, big shoulders, a minute tongue, a big rump and a small prick…

    But if you follow the practices of today, for a start you’ll have a pale skin, small shoulders, a skinny chest, a big tongue, a small rump, a big prick and a long-winded decree.”

    (In case anyone was wondering why Michelangelo painted Adam with such a small dick. Once upon a time a big dick was symbolic with ignorance.)

    • Tomcat

      Being a big dick is still a sign of ignorance.

      • ErikDC

        Being one, not having one. 😜

        • JackFknTwist

          I plead guilty on both counts !

          • Mike_in_the_Tundra

            We will need pictures.

          • JackFknTwist

            I’m working it….. eh eh , I mean on it.

    • Tomcat

      It was the steroids with that guy.

    • jruffdc

      Big dick = barbaric

    • Natty Enquirer

      If you’re referring to the Creation of Adam, that was Michelangelo, not Leonardo. May we assume you have a big dick?

  • Frostbite

    LOLOL. that’s a good one. tell me another!

  • Rebecca Gardner
  • WNY
  • safari

    *Turns on twitter for the first time today*
    Glenn Thrush is suspended for allegations of sexual misconduct.
    The Keystone XL pipeline extension through Nebraska has been approved.
    Donald is speaking to himself in the third person about what a great job he is doing.
    Mugabe’s impeachment trial has begun
    The GOP is rumored to be thinking of getting rid of the debt ceiling because of course they are.
    A second woman says Al Franken grabbed her in 2010.

    • fuzzybits
    • Gregory Peterson

      The Pipeline would go near my Nebraska hometown, which sits on some of America’s richest farmland.

      • Paula

        Let them eat oil.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Norfolk ?

    • BearEyes

      if republican’s do it, deficits don’t matter.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      They approved it ? after the leak ?

      LOL, not funny. Just LOL at the stupid.

  • PickyPecker
    • Adam Schmidt

      So is it wrong that I want to find this God so I can say his name a lot?

    • Bad Tom

      That’s marvelous!

    • olandp

      Is that a chili dog? I do love a chili dog!

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    I thought he was born in Remulac–a small town in France.

    • David Walker

      Mebs.

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    Neither Adam nor Eve were “born”. Adam was created from clay and Eve was created from Adam’s rib.

    • Silver Badger

      At least according to Christian Myth.

    • Tomcat

      And where IS the proof of that?

    • AmeriCanadian

      If only I’d had a lump of clay when I was a wee lad dreaming of my very own man. I could have made myself VERY happy!

    • Ernest Endevor

      That’s the patriarchy version. The other – and it’s right there in Genesis – is that they were created TOGETHER out of dust and told by God to go away and have happy fun sexy time.

    • Dayglo

      This settles it. End of discussion.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQXhXAKHg9g

  • Lars Littlefield

    Hmmmmm … Mthor’s mitochondrial DNA something something . . . . These christofascist genealogists think they have it figured out? Me thinks they need to pray on it a little more.

  • Gregory Peterson

    Well, even if you’re a strict fundamentalist, technically, Adam didn’t have a “birth” date. No woman gave birth to him. He would have had a creation date.

    • Hue-Man

      Bot 001.

    • Baltimatt

      Exactly.

      • Kudzu

        I’m trying really hard to get some new fresh blood in your Baltimore Sun forums! You certainly could use it.
        Don’t you find it funny that such a terrible horrible poster like me who is banned FOR A LIFETIME from your forums hasn’t tried to come over there and sneak in and be a previously banned altie?
        Like most of your “ friends”?
        How’s octoburn? Glenarry?
        It’s been over two weeks since I think I mentioned who they were before and I see they still post! 😄 makes me wonder about what you’re trying to accomplish over there. They’re obviously previously banned alties.
        Like everyone knows it except for the super moderators. 😬🤓🤡👍🏻

      • Kudzu

        Octoburn said:
        Seems like it thinks that the “non-garbage” areas are the ones with the highest number of shootings, murders, and crime. You know, AKA “Democrat Paradise” areas.

        Wow matt. How did you up with all these awesome posters?
        You’re still completely fooled by Ode2joy (aka Octoburn). Or…. you like Odes racist posting. I’ll take the latter.

        Everyone WHO IS SMART knows ode is Octoburn. That glenarry is Kongo. Two previously banned RACIST posters allowed to return and the SUPER MODERATORS can’t see it.
        Maybe you ain’t so SUPER, much less a moderator!
        😄

    • Gregory Peterson

      Not to mention that humans were created on the Sixth Day, not the first.

      And… God created a population of humans on the Sixth Day, not just Adam.

      That suggests that the story of Adam and Eve is a separate story from a different Jewish tradition.

      • Ernest Endevor

        Plus there are two versions of how Adam and Eve are created: dust vs rib. Plus, wasn’t Brian created on the 7th day along with the mojito?

        • Elsewhere1010

          The mojito thing is a total myth. The drink created on the seventh day was the Gin Rickey.

    • Cackalaquiano

      WHERE’S HIS BELLY BUTTON, HUH?

    • Rolf

      I was going to say that.
      To put it accurately, that would be the date Jehovah animated his mud-doll self portrait.

      • olandp

        Adam didn’t come from the mud, or primordial ooze, but from the dust. That makes so much more sense.

    • GanymedeRenard

      Exactly my thought.

  • Kelly Lape

    I certainly don’t prescribe to the Biblical Creation myth. However, Bishop Usher came up with the date CENTURIES ago using this method.

    Rob Faw is at best a plagiarist and at worst a… (dare I say it…) Christian.

    https://answersingenesis.org/bible-timeline/the-world-born-in-4004-bc/

  • jruffdc

    Is this what’s known as intellectualism?

    • David Walker

      Intellectualitis, maybe. Or just bullshit put on paper that bears a logo.

  • MBear

    Such remarkable belligerent ignorance to be religious. Really: these people have way too much time on their hands

    • Benny S.

      You beat me to it! And, now that the research has been completed (for whatever the reason), what will Rob Faw do with all his now-freed-up time? Care for the sick? Feed the hungry? Help figure out who is related to whom on “Game of Thrones”?

  • NYCBullDog

    “Rob Faw is a Board-Certified Master Christian Life Coach with a graduate degree in global leadership”. LOL.

  • Tomcat

    Even James Ussher (1581-1656), the famous and respected Archbishop of
    Ireland in the seventeenth century, is today greatly ridiculed for
    declaring that the world was created in 4004 BC.

  • worstcultever

    Maybe it’s just me, but tired of Joe’s fixation on xtian crackpottery. Who the fuck cares.

    (there, I said it)

    • HomerTh

      Unfortunately, something like 30 to 40 percent of US residents believe this bullshit and that directly affects the rest of us.

      • JAX

        Yep.
        You must learn the ‘talking points’ of your fellow man.

    • Ernest Endevor

      It makes me laugh and what Homer said. Plus, how else do we get our daily dose of outrage? Apart from Trump. And, you know.

    • David Walker

      Not to be demeaning or nasty, but if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Even as a kid it bothered me when I’d a letter to the editor about a series of articles or, better, complaining about a comic strip that wasn’t funny. “Then don’t read it.” Made sense to me then, so I pass it along to you. I don’t read everything Joe posts, whether because I don’t have time or I’m not interested in the topic. Reading ALL of JMG can be a daily day-long project. I’m retired, and even I don’t have that kind of time. But I’d be willing to pay for what I DO read here and would miss it greatly if it left us.

    • coram nobis

      JMG is sort of like a carnival midway in which we can see whatever booths will amuse us. Joe does have the collection of loonies in his freak show, which is a regular attraction, but you also have Punch The Nazi booth, the Donald Trump Ducking Stool, the Political Comedy Booth (with the amazing Sarah Bumblebee Sanders every day at 1 o’clock). Also there’s a gaggle of commentators that add cotton candy to the threads in the form of cootchee-coo undressed males.

      Step right up.

    • Edmund Allin

      I wouldn’t mind the occasional piece about happy puppies or something…

  • MB

    Never mind the fossil record of human skulls/parts that are hundreds of thousands of years+ old ?? Young-earth christianist math fail….

    Scientists Have Found the Oldest Known Human Fossils
    The 300,000-year-old bones and stone tools were discovered in a surprising place—and could revise the history of our species.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/06/the-oldest-known-human-fossils-have-been-found-in-an-unusual-place/529452/

    • BearEyes

      yes, seems “Lucy” in Africa was a tad older than 4004 BCE.
      but I guess I’ll get out my dart board to guess Eve’s b’date.

  • Sporkfighter
  • Ernest Endevor

    High. Larious.

    “His research reveals a 144-generation connection that confirms a lineage beginning with Adam, Eve and God and moves onward to Queen Elizabeth II.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50739cb5bbdd032be2b4d72f2669f4fa587968f70833fb223540474e097276bf.gif

    • clay

      144– a dozen dozen! Oh noes, the world is completed!

      • John30013

        Illuminati confirmed!

    • campbell

      Apparently she is also descended from the Prophet Mohammed.

      • Ernest Endevor

        I have read that on the internets so it must be true.

        • Gustav2

          And the descendant of Lizard People!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jxwulrq_KU

        • campbell

          It’s been around longer than that but, too be honest, given how long ago Mohammed lived we are all probably related to him one way or another.
          BTW – where does that clip come from??

          • Ernest Endevor

            You’re going to need sunglasses or you’ll go blind from the charm.
            https://youtu.be/hmXp5nrGSwQ

          • campbell

            Thanks for the warning! My shades have actually melted!

          • Ernest Endevor

            Doesn’t come much cuter.

          • John30013

            He didn’t start out as the cutest prince, but he sure ended up the hottest.

          • Ernest Endevor

            He has done the unforgivable. He has forced me to reassess my irrational hatred of all things royal and start to think they’re maybe not all that bad!

  • Cackalaquiano

    This is terribly important 🙄

  • Lakeview Bob

    Why doesn’t the Furor send out his team of crackpot birther detectives to find Adam’s birth certificate?

  • SpiderPIG

    hahahaha
    Sure,Jan.gif

  • geoffalnutt

    Everyone knows that Adam was born in New Jersey, liked long walks on the beach, ate Dots at the movies…and drove a red Plymouth.

  • Bambino

    Did they reveal Adam took out his second and third rib and made two more Eve to cheat on the first rib?

  • clay

    Following several years of researching ancient, medieval, and modern-day records, genealogist Rob Faw uncovered . . . [that] Seventeenth-century scholar and theologian, Dr. James Ussher, determined the birthdate of Adam after studying Chaldean, Persian, Greek and Roman history.

    Some of us just got this from reading “Inherit the Wind.”

    • coram nobis

      Ur …

  • edrex

    in the year of the snake?

  • Slim Compersion

    Let’s figure Steve was born just a few years later.

  • /

    How was Adam “born?”
    I thought their god made him out of dirt.

  • sadoldguy

    My gosh, people who believe this drivel would be dumb enough to buy buckets of food* from a convicted felon.

    * dog food that failed quality control.

  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    I wonder if he changed the date to 1414 BC ( below clitoris) he would get ol’ Roy Moore on his side?

  • marshlc

    I’m assuming whoever wrote the above was paid for it.

    Even when writing nonsense, dear, the normal rules apply.

  • Dayglo
  • Elsewhere1010

    So that makes Harry the Ginger Messiah? Because that means I’m all up for some quality worship time.

  • xzargo

    Idiot.

  • TexasBoy
  • Halou

    That is not the birth date of the mythical Adam, it is an approximate date for the beginning of social structures larger than a single family in what is today the nation of Israel.

  • Achilles Tsakiridis

    And then ,Adam fucked his daughter ,who fucked her brother.

  • Halou

    Not wanting to nitpick here, but according to the story Adam wasn’t born he was created. “formed from the dust of the earth”. (Genesis 2:7).

  • dbishop75

    Adam wasn’t ‘born’. He was created from mud. Do these people not even ready their own myths?!?

  • Bubba in TX

    Did they work backwards from Jesus’ birth on December 25, 0000? Because that would make the most sense. Because science.

  • AlternativeQuacks

    Insert Joan Collins joke here.

  • Robert Conner
    • Tor

      I’ve got my Crayolas ready!

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “Whether one chooses to reconcile Adam’s birthdate from a perspective of science or religion, we have a specific date of birth for the first man known by name in recorded history. ”

    Jesus fucking christ, Adam is not the “first man known by name in recorded history.” Genesis was written by different authors in the 6th and 5th centuries BCE. There are much older names that we know of. Genesis isn’t even the oldest known creation myth.

    • madknits

      The Gilgamesh cycle was around long before Genesis. If this guy had done all the work he says he has in Biblical languages, he would have read one of the Gilgamesh texts (Assyrian or Babylonian, but probably not the Sumerian one). The divinity school I attended had a Ph. D. in NELC (Near Eastern Languages and Cultures), and a student had to come in already knowing Biblical Hebrew, and added Aramaic, Ugaritic, Assyrian, Akkadian, Syriac, and then several other Afro-Asiatic languages as needed, as well as German, French, Greek (Koine), and Latin. No one in that program would ever think Adam was the first or oldest person, no matter what their faith stance, or they wouldn’t get out with the degree.

      And this doesn’t even take into consideration the myth cycles of China.

    • And indeed in Egyptian history, where we not only have the names and dates of kings who reigned — even allowing for disputes over their actual dates — millennia before the Old Testament was written, in many cases their bodies are still preserved.

      If we want to nominate “the first man known by name in recorded history”, the best candidate is Narmer the Unifier of Egypt. Aha!!

  • darren lyle

    Well, that clears that up. But what about Steve?

  • Dayglo
  • Halou

    Adam was born on October the 23rd, 4004 BC.
    Says the man who was apparently born yesterday.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    LOL !

  • Gene Perry

    Adam (theoretically) would have no birth date as he was not born, he was (theoretically) created, not born. To be born requires squirting out of a vaginal canal. OK, maybe a C-Section, but still.

  • Ben in Oakland

    “The birthdate of Adam (October 23, 4004 BC) is in of itself a startling revelation unknown to most people.”

    There is your very first innaccuracy.

    Unknown to any people. Except for you.

  • Ben in Oakland

    It could be ultimately derived from Hebrew אדם (‘adam) meaning “to be red”, referring to the ruddy colour of human skin, or from Akkadian adamu meaning “to make”. According to Genesis in the Old Testament Adam was created from the earth by God (there is a word play on Hebrew אֲדָמָה (‘adamah) “earth”).

    So much for biblical scholarship.

  • DoctorDJ

    Delusional fundamentalism at its stupidest.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Christian Newswire: “Adam Was Born Oct. 23rd, 4004 BC”

    Me: “Nope. He was actually ‘created’ by goat fucking bronze age men who needed to manufacture a mythos to explain how they got here because Torg make fire, Grog make up bullshit”

  • Mihangel apYrs

    If he was “born” he needed a mother

    • coram nobis

      Maybe Aphrodite.

      … she was always kind of flighty
      Dancing in her see-through nightie
      She’s good enough for me.
      Gimme that old-time religion, gimme that old-time religion …

  • Cuberly Deux
  • Billy Green

    Have these people never seen “Inherit the Wind”?

  • Kevin Andrews

    Why waste the space promoting these Christ-O-Fascist’s twisted world view that the Earth is only 6,000 years old without any explanation of where Lilith went. By the way, Adam & Eve had two sons; you just think on that as long as you like. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c88e08753d435869d0ddfb1485200e9b50ada8402620317f14da7ae364bd5576.jpg

  • koseighty

    How much research did genealogist Rob Faw have to do to just copy James Ussher’s creation date published nearly 400 years ago?

  • thrunch

    Jeez, everyone knows it is Oct 24. Get your act together.

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    I have a confession. When I first saw that headline, I read it as “Adam West” was born October 23, 4004 BC.

  • M Jackson

    How can you not believe him with all his credentials?

    “Rob Faw is a Board-Certified Master Christian Life Coach with a
    graduate degree in global leadership from the University of San Diego.
    He is a Research Fellow with The Arthur C. Custance Centre for Science
    and Christianity.”

  • Gregory Peterson

    “Christianity Today” had once imagined Adam as a sort of swarthy Neanderthal.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f45f37d08159377d3b4462a39f64a9ebf9a3a736769e85e1bec3cbfce33c860d.jpg

  • coram nobis

    Was this the Julian calendar or the Gregorian calendar?

  • Uncle Mark

    All that “research,” yet it hasn’t occurred to them to research the word “allegory.”

    • Gregory Peterson

      If memory serves, the Swiss Catholic theologian/ philosopher Hans Küng (who was never popular with the Vatican powers that be) said that the language of the Bible is metaphor and allegory.

      It makes more sense, and is more fun to read, when you read it in that language.

      • He was widely respected until his much more conservative classmate from theology school, one Joseph Ratzinger, became Pope and decided to throw his weight around.

  • Michael White

    Gregorian or Julian calendar?

  • joe ho

    Reminder: Religion is a form of mental illness.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJM5mipwebw&t=172s

  • Mordred LeFey

    If the new Cosmos is to be believed, the “first man known by name” was actually a queen in the middle east.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      That’s MISS Adam to you, buster.

      • Mikey

        that was my first reaction too! LOL

  • TheManicMechanic

    Adam needs to take a polygraph test.

  • Bad Tom

    Is that a Gregorian or Julian date?
    Did he take the leap years into account!?!
    ——-
    Surprisingly, number of footnotes does not translate directly into correctness.

    • A Julian date. Ussher died in 1656, almost a century before the UK adopted the Gregorian calendar (in 1752).

      • Bad Tom

        Julius Caesar himself decreed the reform we call the Julian calendar in 45 BC. So, neither is correct.

        The Roman calendar went through several iterations, because it was so fucked up that it did not keep accurate time.

        So I’ll amplify my original statement:

        Did he take the intercalary months into account?!?
        Almost certainly not.

        And if it did, isn’t it just so lucky that Adam wasn’t born / created / fetched out of mud on a day with no name?

        • All of which is true: but as you know, Ussher didn’t proceed by counting dates — he added up the life-spans of the 144 ancestors of Christ given in the Bible and then reduced the answer to shillings and pence a date counted from the year dot. Which in turn he would have dated by the version of the Julian calendar used in the UK in his day.

          The fundamental flaw in his argument, of course, was taking the Bible (including its genealogy of Christ) as literal and historical truth.

          • Bad Tom

            I think it is much more fun to argue time as such did not exist in an organized form before calendars.

            It makes as much sense as deciding the Bible is real history.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    I’ve a few very important questions for Master Doctor Faw:
    The BC years went backwards — a countdown from 4004 BC to 1 BC, amiright? What about the months and days– did they go backwards, too? Was January 1 the first day of 4004 BC, or was it December 31? And what about the Year Zero? Did you include it in you calculations?

    These vital questions will require a few more years of research. maybe even decades. Back to the drawing board, Master Faw. Inquiring minds want to know.

    • Mikey

      just because:

      there is, technically, no “year 0”. there is no full year with that numeration.
      there is the year before the (supposed) birth of Christ (-1 BC), then there is the year that begins at the (again, supposed) moment of the birth of Christ (1 AD).

      The period of time 1BC to 1AD covers a period of 2 full years (24 months): the year before the event, and the year after the event.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Well, I never knew that; thanks.

        I was just hoping to give Faw some thoughts to keep his mind occupied for the next few years.

        • Mikey

          Just ask him who exactly Adams’ sons were supposed to have f***ed and where THEY came from.

          • motordog

            Allah must have made them. Hence the xtian distast for women in general.

  • motordog

    “His research reveals a 144-generation connection that confirms a lineage beginning with Adam, Eve and God and moves onward to Queen Elizabeth II.”

    lol…that Elizabeth namecheck seems rather random, doesn’t it? I mean, if they are to be believed, they might as well have said Charles Manson, Marilyn Manson, William Frawley or Imelda Marcos…aren’t we ALL descended from this “Adam” person?

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    To celebrate Adam Day, I’ll be spending next October 23 lounging around in a garden, dressed in a fig leaf.

    • motordog

      I’ll be eating ribs!

  • motordog

    Here’s a image of ‘Doctor’ Faw in the middle of his ‘research’…apparently some of his data does not compute. He is also quoted as saying, “Call ME a fool, will they! It is THEY who are the fools! I’ll show them ALL!!” See? Science and religion DO go hand-in-hand!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b50237c79cbcac88bd42241da54f241e06c3c2ab81487755e00a1565073a8a7.gif

  • -M-

    The Bible doesn’t have much in the way of specific dates or lengths of time. Even if you could cobble together a legitimate timeline from it and other ancient sources going from a known date back to a much earlier event like Adam’s supposed creation, it’d be ludicrous to think it was accurate to within even a few years.

  • Sean McKeon

    Are you sure this didn’t come from the Onion?

  • teeveedub

    Damn. I forgot to send him a birthday card this year.

  • AaronD12

    Of Adam and Eve, which one was white, which one was black, which one was Asian, which one was Polynesian, which one was Arab…

    • Louis Marschalko

      The many races, nations and languages of mankind all came later. For example, the tower of Babel account in the O.T.

      • Daveed_WOW

        Thanks Pepe for articulating that Stone Age racist myth.

  • Mike Knife

    Adam Was Born Oct. 23rd, 4004 BC and Steve was born after that.

  • Pete Wascher

    adam was “born”? as an adult? if not, who looked after him?

  • Hank

    According to the Jewish Calendar, this is the year 5778.

  • Orly

    Born??

  • Franciscan

    So what happened to the Neolithic Era, ca. 10,000-6,600 BC? Development of agriculture, domestication of animals, etc. Archaelogists must have been duped by fake news.

    • Daveed_WOW

      The devil put those artifacts in the ground to test your faith….er. ..maybe it was god who was testing your faith. One of those two like to test…the other likes to tempt….where am i going with this???

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

    If Adam was “born” who were his parents? Where did they come from? IIRC that date of 4004 BCE is supposed to date from the creation of the universe (or world, poTAYto/poTAHto). This is just esoteric bibliolatry based on iron-age myths.

  • JAKvirginia

    So…. Adam is “born” in 4004 BC, in a “garden”. And by 3000 BC humanity was building pyramids out of stone. Kids, they grow up so fast, don’t they?

    • Porkie

      and Noah was 950 years old when he died…..

  • Now wait a minute! That would make Adam a Scorpio. No way he was a Scorpio! Aquarius, maybe. Unless maybe his rising sign was Scorpio? No, that can’t be it. There are two different versions of Genesis in the bible, and in one of them Adam was created before the sun. So Scorpio couldn’t be his rising sign, because there weren’t ANY rising signs yet! See, this is just bullshit!

  • ColdCountry

    “The birthdate of Adam (October 23, 4004 BC) is in of itself a startling revelation unknown to most people.”

    Yes, yes, it would be….

    • Daveed_WOW

      The birthdates of fictional characters is always startling.

  • Gregory In Seattle

    Ain’t it funny how this is the exact same date that James Ussher noted 400 years ago.

  • agcons

    I keep repairing and recalibrating my bullshit detector and it keeps getting broken. It’s time to upgrade to a commercial quality device instead of the consumer model.

  • JCF
  • Nowhereman

    And nevermind that there is fossil evidence of modern humans more like 100,000 years old and more. But hey–just count all the begets in Genesis and multiply by four and of course don’t forget to carry the bum.

  • Robert Adams

    Why does Adam have a bellybutton in the accompanying picture above?

    • Hank

      Micael Angelo was “into” them…. pierced or not. 😇

  • The Cool Cookie

    Oh FFS. Show me the birth certificate. Show me the journal entry. Better, yet, Faw needs to produce Adam’s family bible. Without that, dude has been eating too many doped apples.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    LOL. Another ass who thinks his opinion is the same as facts.

  • andrew

    Science tells us the earth is about 4.54 billion years old and that primitive single cell life may have appeared on earth about 4 billion years ago, but God waited until 6021 years ago to create Adam. Damn God sure is a slow worker.

  • Phillip Maiden

    Click the link to “Newswire” and scroll to the bottom to find this info on the author of this “study.”:
    Rob Faw is a Board-Certified Master Christian Life Coach with a graduate degree in global leadership from the University of San Diego. He is a Research Fellow with The Arthur C. Custance Centre for Science and Christianity.

    Master Christian Life Coach?

  • Porkie

    Adam was “born” …Who knew,…

  • Yeah but if you can determine his penis size, I’ll be really impressed

  • Tammy Rainey

    this is nothing new. I have a Chronological Bible that I bought in the 90’s that has a very similar date (the author note’s Usher’s ate, cites a problem with it, and gives a slightly different year (within less than 10 years different, I’m thinking 3996 but it’s been ages since I picked it up, if I still even own it which I doubt)

    For those who don’t know, the basic concept is taking literally all those places in Genesis where it says “Adam lived x years and begat Seth; Seth lived X years and begat…” and so forth and just doing the math. That alone take one all the way to Noah.

  • thatotherjean

    Bishop Ussher at least had an excuse, having died a couple of hundred years before Charles Darwin wrote “On the Origin of Species.” I’m sure Ussher’s work was top notch for the knowledge of his day, however wrong it is for us. Robert Faw, surrounded by readily available, up-to-date research on the age of the planet and the origin of humans, is just willfully ignorant.