Ted Cruz – A Bad Lip Reading [VIDEO]

Mediaite sets it up:

In a Republican presidential primary that’s breaking all barriers of taste and dignity, it’s tough for humorists to keep up, but somehow the folks at Ba Lip Reading have managed. Their new “Ted Cruz: A Bad Lip Reading” is a tour de force that nails the brand’s loopy, offbeat humor, but also combines slick editing, a canny narrative, and an appropriately nasty edge to match the Republican primary’s tone thus far.

  • BearEyes

    he’s already creepy – this makes him extra creepy.

    • Joe knows who I am.

      Hair is underrated. Ask Drumpf.

    • b

      He has a creepy face. Those eyebrows hide something, maybe malice. They slant up like science fiction face. If they slanted up in the opposite direction he would be commander of the Vulcan Empire.

      • BearEyes

        I do believe there’s malice – whether it’s intentional or just another day, another malice remains to be determined.

      • boatboy_srq

        MAYBE malice? Really?

        The man (I use the term loosely) is a Ferengi in a Cardassian costume.

    • Todd20036

      I eat human hair.

    • Henri205

      And that family…….I need a shower after watching that.



  • That_Looks_Delicious

    Laughed Out Loud! Very well done.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    He creeps me out to no end and reminds me of one of these:

    • Rex

      Rats are cute and cuddly compared to Cruz.

      • Octavio

        It’s true. They are. 🙂

        • Steve Teeter

          I had pet rats when I was a kid. The cute, white-and-black lab rat kind, not the hideous brown Norwegian roof rat kind. They were very curious and very affectionate. They liked to crawl around my shoulders and down my arm. And boy did they go crazy over sunflower seeds.

          • Octavio

            Norma, our beige and white rat, lived in the sock drawer when we were at home. When we took long road trips she lived in passage ways she’d hollowed out the dry plastic foam of our ancient 1959 Cadillac’s dashboard where she would play and sleep. She was very well behaved and loved going about in public on our shoulders as long as there was a pocket for her to hide in when things got a little weird. She was a great little companion. Ate everything.

          • stuckinthewoods

            Our lab rat Frank Lloyd was that way about strawberry yogurt.

    • vorpal

      So you think Ted Cruz an utterly adorable and fluffy, intelligent animal that wants to nibble on your nuts?

      I’d get that looked at if I were you.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Hey !!!!

        • vorpal

          You know I poke because I love :D.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            I guess I didn’t know PETR was a thing

            ( People for the ethical treatment of Rats )
            Growing up on a farm, I HATE them !!

    • Steverino

      I’m thinking either a proboscis monkey or a turkey vulture, but that would be insulting both.

      • Mike in NC

        No, not a turkey vulture; they may be ugly, repulsive and smelly, but they serve a useful function in nature. Cruz, on the other hand…

  • shudder! Damn, he was nausea inducing before. But after this, when I see him I’ll think , ” I need a bogel for the glotch!”

  • AtticusP

    Don’t give Ted Cruz the bogle his glotch needs so badly!

    • Christopher

      If we’d just gotten single-payer bogles the first time, his glotch would have what it needs.

  • Cuberly

    “I made a hole and barfed on the beach..mmm hmmm mmm mmm hmmm …etc…”

    (shudder) Those extended takes of him with Heidi are so off-putting, even without the humor. Yeeeeesh!

  • Prion

  • Necessitas

    They really nailed his creepy voice.

    • Cuberly

      Was sorta too good of a match, yikes!

    • a large reason he will never be president.

    • b

      Creepy head and voice. He doesn’t have a man’s voice, he has a character actor voice. If I talked to him for a hookup on the phone it would be a definite no. No guy has testosterone with that weird voice.

  • Prion


    • David Walker

      Wow. Perfection.

      • Virginia Morrissey

        “my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….

        two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereo!o26➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsHour/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:::::o!o26…….

  • Brad Lathem

    I LOL’d

  • Prion


    • Latebrosus

      Come November, I think both sides will have voters like the lady at the head of the line.

      • Todd20036

        Yeah, but they will all be voting for the same person.

    • Snarkaholic

      Where’s Nancy Reagan and her Magic 8 Ball?

  • pickypecker
  • Prion


    • Herald


  • Sam_Handwich

    What fresh hell is this? >>>>

    Mitt Romney “to speak on the state of the 2016 Presidential race” on Thursday in Salt Lake City.

  • David Walker

    I am an old man. I just took your spork. (I’m so glad this asshole isn’t gay.)

  • EDinMCO

    Coffee snort, on the desk. Totally worth it.

  • i do love these. just perfect for this cycle. Bogels are hard to come by, so i feel his pain.

    • Henri205

      You can get Bogel merlot at many fine stores. 🙂

  • Oh’behr

    I could actually see him telling his kids about burning down cabins. Funny.

    • David Walker

      And digging a hole and barfing on the beach.

  • Rex

    “Your face isn’t my face” – thank god!

  • Oh’behr

    Ha. I could see his wife still having an affair, he’s in the kitchen and Ted is that clueless.

    • Rex

      Can you imagine being married to him? Waking up each morning, turning over and suddenly face to face….sorry, just threw up in my mouth a little.

      • Henri205

        Turning over, seeing that punchable face and hoping you’re still asleep.

        • Snarkaholic

          That face looks like it was pounded (every which way) by his schoolmates…from kindergarten, all the way through college.

          • Henri205

            Well, based on what his college roommate says, you’re probably correct.

      • Steverino

        Maybe Heidi likes to sit on his face and say “Lie to me, Pinocchio, lie to me!”

  • TheManicMechanic

    This is so damn fitting.

  • Robert Conner

    It captures the core creepiness of Teodoro Cruz, the candidate whose voice sounds most like your grandmother’s vacuum cleaner.

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    Every time I see Heidi Cruz, I expect her to look at Ted Cruz and say, “We both love soup”.


  • Rebecca Gardner

    OMG! I am laughing so hard I am crying. “He’s in the kitchen.” LMAOROF!

  • Dramphooey

    Some Cruz news: the zotting has begun at FreeRepublic of Cruz people critical of Trump. Editor-Surveyor was an obnoxious ass who in the past enjoyed the zotting of those with whom he disagreed. This was one of his last posts; he was apparently wrong! He’s gone like a goose.

  • Treant

    Personally, I am also opposed to goose diarrhea. I’m still voting Dem, however.

  • kirtanloorii

    The laughing old man at 0:52 just kills me!

  • David in Tucson

    A friend of ours might say, “More than a cheese sandwich has passed those lips.”

  • another_steve

    This is Ted Cruz when he was a young man.

  • marti386

    I luv Bad Lip Reading.

  • Oh that’s just cruel. Love it.

  • teeveedub

    “Don’t make us kiss now.”

    Or ever.