Tag Archives: silliness

Japanese Embassy: Swift Will Make The Super Bowl

“The Embassy of Japan in the United States is aware of recent media reports concerning the steps Taylor Swift will need to take to travel from Tokyo after her concert on February 10th to Las Vegas in time to watch the Kansas City Chiefs play in Super Bowl LVIII. “Despite the 12-hour flight and 17-hour time difference, the Embassy can …

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Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Predicts An Early Spring

NewsNation reports: It’s Groundhog Day and Punxsutawney Phil made his prediction on what the weather will be like for the next six weeks. Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow — presaging early springlike weather. The expert groundhog made his annual winter weather forecast Friday at Gobbler’s Knob In Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, the scene of the country’s largest and most well-known Groundhog …

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US Embassy Ribs Brits Over Tea-Making “Controversy”

Bloomberg News reports: The US and UK have traditionally enjoyed a so-called special relationship as close allies bound by a common language. But that goodwill has been jeopardized by an American academic who claims that the recipe for a perfect cup of tea includes a pinch of salt. Her advice drew bafflement and derision in the UK, where tea is …

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New Owners To Drop Name Of Kum & Go Chain

The Drive reports: Gas station and convenience store chain Kum & Go will reportedly rebrand after being bought out in 2023. The new owners are reportedly worried the double entendre in Kum & Go’s name could hurt its business prospects. Established in Iowa in 1959, Kum & Go was acquired by FJ Management’s Maverik chain in April 2023. After blowing …

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Loose Bull On Tracks Snarls Travel At NJ Penn Station

New York City’s ABC affiliate reports: A loose bull was spotted running on the New Jersey Transit train tracks in Newark, New Jersey on Thursday morning. The first reports came in just after 10:30 a.m. at Newark Penn Station. NJ Transit said there were delays of up to 45 minutes between Newark Penn Station and Penn Station New York due …

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Dancing Taylor Swift Fans Trigger Local Seismometer

CNN reports: Taylor Swift fans are in their record-breaking era. After two nights of earth-shaking dancing at Swift’s Seattle “Eras” tour concert at Lumen Field, enthusiastic Swifties caused seismic activity equivalent of a 2.3 magnitude earthquake, according to seismologist Jackie Caplan-Auerbach. The “Swift Quake” has been compared to the 2011 “Beast Quake,” when Seattle Seahawks fans erupted after an impressive …

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About Ducking Time: Apple Won’t Autocorrect Swears

CNET reports: If you’re tired of your iPhone keyboard always autocorrecting your swear words, you’re going to love this new feature. At WWDC 2023 on Monday, Apple announced iOS 17 and unveiled an improved and more sophisticated autocorrect feature — which makes cussing so much easier. “And in those moments where you just want to type a ducking word, well, …

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Woman Breaks Time Record For Traveling NYC Subway

Gothamist reports: New York City’s subway has 472 stations laid out across 665 miles of track. For decades, transit enthusiasts have jockeyed to set the record for the fastest time to travel through the whole system. Last month, Kate Jones, a New Yorker now living in Switzerland, set a new standard. She completed the journey in 22 hours, 14 minutes …

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FDA: Dogs Okay At Restaurants In Outdoor Seating

CBS News reports: Do you like taking your dog to restaurants? Go ahead, it’s fine, according to the Food and Drug Administration which now says it’s safe to bring dogs to restaurants with outdoor seating. The new guidance came in an update to the 2022 FDA food code. The FDA stated that its health rules “allow for pet dogs in …

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TSA Clarifies: We Consider Peanut Butter To Be Liquid

The New York Times reports: The Transportation Security Administration thought it had settled a dispute over peanut butter some time ago: unless it is 3.4 fluid ounces or less, it has to be checked. However, the question of what the T.S.A. considers a liquid continues to confuse passengers. It bubbled up again last week when a writer and podcaster tried …

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Study: Half Of Men Are Neither Grower Nor Show-er

The Daily Beast reports: Alonso Isa and a group of urologists from Spain set out to answer a question that few have asked scientifically: Is shower and grower even a thing? They concluded that these categories were real, but two extreme ends of a spectrum. Most men, the researchers found, fall into a middle gray area. By measuring flaccid and …

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Walmart Wins “No Fudge, No Mint” Cookies Lawsuit

Reuters reports: A federal judge in Chicago has dismissed a proposed class action lawsuit accusing Walmart of deceiving shoppers by selling Fudge Mint cookies that lacked fudge and mint. In a decision on Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Mary Rowland said no cases showed that consumers expect “fudge” to contain milkfat. The judge likened the case to lawsuits where courts found …

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NYC Fire Department Ends Famed Beefcake Calendar

The New York Daily News reports: Perfectly chiseled pecs just don’t pay the bills anymore. After a hiatus caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, the FDNY Foundation has decided to scrap it’s once wildly popular Calendar of Heroes, which highlighted the city’s hunky and hot first responders, the Daily News has learned. First published in 2003, the $16 calendar was an …

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Groundhog Day: Punxsutawney Phil Sees His Shadow

Pittsburgh’s CBS affiliate reports: Punxsutawney Phil has spoken: Six more weeks of winter await us. The beloved groundhog took his position for the 137th time in Gobblers Knob Thursday. Phil also saw his shadow in 2022, giving us six more weeks of winter. 2023 now marks the 108th time Phil’s shadow has been seen since the tradition began in 1887. …

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Fox News Reports On The “Princess Of Whales”

So this just happened over at Fox: Kate Middleton’s official royal title is “Princess of Wales,” derived from her marriage to William, Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne, but an unfortunate typo in a Fox News graphic switched that for a reference to earth’s largest aquatic mammals. On Wednesday, America’s Newsroom anchors Bill Hemmer and Dana Perino …

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Pantone’s Color Of The Year For 2023: “Viva Magenta”

NPR reports: It’s official: 2023 is the year of magenta. That’s according to the Pantone Color Institute, the authoritative consultancy that’s christened an “it color” every year for more than two decades. Its latest pick is none other than Viva Magenta 18-750, which it describes as “a shade rooted in nature descending from the red family and expressive of a …

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NYC Sanitation Department Sells $48 “Rats” T-Shirt

Gothamist reports: The shirts, which were listed at $48 on Only NY’s website, featuring a rat running scared, feature a phrase made famous by Sanitation Commissioner Jessica Tisch. Standing outside City Hall on Oct. 17, Tisch unveiled a proposal to shorten the amount of time trash bags sit on the street in hopes of giving city rats less garbage to …

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SCOTUS To Hear Jack Daniels Vs Squeaky Dog Toy Case

Axios reports: The Supreme Court agreed Monday to hear a dispute between Jack Daniel’s and a dog toy company that sells chewable “Bad Spaniels” whiskey bottles. The case carries implications for trademark law — and a number of companies, like Levi Strauss and the makers of Campbell Soup, have filed amicus briefs on the topic. Jack Daniel’s asked the Supreme …

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Tom Hanks Revives David S. Pumpkins On SNL [VIDEO]

Deadline reports: He is back! Saturday Night Live‘s hugely popular Halloween character David S. Pumpkins, played by 10-time host Tom Hanks, returned to the show after a lengthy hiatus. He did it in a prison ride skit, in which Pumpkins and his trusty dancing skeletons, played once again by Mikey Day and SNL alum Bobby Moynihan, mix it up with …

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Chess Champion: No, I Didn’t Use Anal Beads To Cheat

The Independent reports: US chess player Hans Niemann has rejected claims that he used a sex toy to beat Norweigan world champion Magnus Carlsen. The streak of 53 games during which Mr Carlsen, 31, remained unbeaten was ended on 4 September when he was defeated by the 19-year-old US grandmaster in the Sinquefield Cup hosted by the St Louis Chess …

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