Silliness

France Ditches “Minister of Attractiveness” Job Title

Politico reports: When the English Twitter account for the French foreign ministry revealed Franck Riester’s new title of junior minister for trade and “attractiveness,” it immediately elicited mocking online and questions about whether it had been mistranslated. In France, the term “attractivité” is often used to refer to attracting investment. The French foreign ministry assured its followers it had looked …

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MS Gov Congratulates Graduate “Harry Azcrac” [VIDEO]

The New York Post reports: It’s a prank that would make Bart Simpson proud. Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves was duped into congratulating a curiously named student — Harry Azcrac — during a virtual graduation ceremony. In the video, streamed on Facebook Live, Reeves sends his well wishes to the school’s valedictorian before running down the list of newly minted graduates. …

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County Official: Don’t Touch A Stranger’s Balls [VIDEO]

Mashable reports: Ahead of tennis courts reopening in parts of Long Island, Nassau County Executive Laura Curran emphasized the importance of only handling your own balls. If you and another player are from another household, she explained during a press conference last week, you can touch each others’ balls, but players should otherwise take every precaution to avoid coming in …

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Sarah Palin Raps Baby Got Back On The Masked Singer

Variety reports: We can bear-ly believe it: Former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin was unmasked as the Bear on Wednesday night’s edition of “The Masked Singer,” and her song choice was… well, unexpected. Palin, who performed “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix A Lot in the episode, told host Nick Cannon that “to not be able to see much of anything …

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SNL’s Pete Buttigieg: Let’s Get #WhiteObama Trending

Vulture reports: There were the usual digs about Sanders (he’s old!), Buttigieg (he’s creepy!), and Biden (he’s old and creepy!), and a week-old Super Bowl halftime show reference. The cold open didn’t pretend to have anything new or incisive to say about the Iowa Caucus, but it did have Colin Jost’s Buttigieg begging the audience to “get white Obama trending …

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Punxsutawney Phil Predicts An Early Spring [VIDEO]

The Weather Channel reports: Punxsutawney Phil was pulled from his burrow in Gobbler’s Knob Sunday morning and did not see see his shadow, which, according to legend, means an early spring and warmer temperatures are coming. Of course, even the organizers of the annual Groundhog Day event in western Pennsylvania acknowledge that turning to a large rodent for weather forecasting …

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Batman’s Robin: ABC Tried To Shrink My Penis [VIDEO]

Page Six reports: For baby boomers and classic TV fans, the name Burt Ward is instantly recognizable as the loyal and extremely excitable Robin on the campy “Batman” series which ran on ABC from 1966-1968. Just this week he happily unveiled a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame which he called an “amazing experience.” The Caped Crusaders costumes were …

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Drag Queen Attends Trump Impeachment Hearing

NBC News reports: Spotted towering over the gray and blue suits packed into the first day of President Donald Trump’s impeachment hearing was an enormous blond wig — that of Pissi Myles, a drag performer from Asbury Park, New Jersey. “It’s a crazy day in Washington! I’m flipping my wig over the high-energy proceedings today,” Myles told NBC News. “Tensions …

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CA Governor’s Family Does Halloween As 2020 Dems

The Hill reports: California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) and his family dressed as 2020 Democratic presidential candidates to celebrate Halloween. Newsom tweeted a video of himself and his wife, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, and their four children holding signs and wearing pins to represent their individual candidates. Newsom appeared to dress as former Vice President Joe Biden in a suit and …

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Russian Man Sues Apple: My iPhone Turned Me Gay

The Moscow Times reports: A Russian man is seeking more than $15,000 in damages from Apple after claiming that the U.S. tech giant drove him to homosexuality, the Govorit Moskva radio station has reported. The plaintiff, identified as D. Razumilov, alleges that he became “mired in same-sex relationships” this summer after receiving 69 GayCoins on a cryptocurrency payment app he …

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VIRAL VIDEO: Catering Truck Goes Wild At O’Hare

Gizmodo reports: An out of control, apparently furious, and driverless catering cart that was spinning in wild circles on the tarmac of Chicago O’Hare International Airport (ORD) on Monday was laid to its final rest by a quick-witted worker who prevented it from hitting a plane by slamming into it with another vehicle. American Osteopathic Association chief executive Kevin Klauer …

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VIRAL VIDEO: Florida Man Has Plan To Fight Hurricanes

“They keep saying, two days ago, three days ago, ‘Oh it’s gonna hit all this warm weather. All this warm weather and warm water.’ We have a Navy. Why don’t the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it can’t get going as fast as it’s going? “There’s gotta be ways to combat this instead of just …

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Conan Suggests Trading Florida For Greenland [VIDEO]

“If there’s anything I’ve learned from watching hundreds of hours of Property Brothers, saying ‘It’s not for sale’ is the classic opening gambit, That means you’re ready to go. Greenland is definitely for sale. “And, ladies and gentlemen, if we don’t move fast, some other country is going to overpay for it. Yeah, China, that lookie-lou, is going to come …

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Ohio State Seeks Trademark On The Word “The”

The Columbus Dispatch reports: Ohio State University wants to trademark the word “The” when used in conjunction with the university’s name on items marketed for sale. The university submitted a trademark application Aug. 8 to the United States Patent and Trademark Office in Washington. The request is for a standard character trademark for the title “The Ohio State University.” Some …

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Bud Light Offers Free Beer To Aliens That “Make It Out Of Area 51” After Facebook Group Vows To Storm Base

The Hill reports: Bud Light is offering to give free beer to any aliens that make it out of Area 51 in Nevada, as an satirical online campaign to “storm” the site has attracted the attention of millions. The beer maker made the announcement in a series of tweets about the military base, which conspiracy theorists have long believed to …

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NYC’s Famed Katz’s Deli Launches Fake Orgasm Contest

Reuters reports: It was the orgasm heard around the world. In the 1989 movie “When Harry Met Sally,” actor Meg Ryan’s loud rendition of a woman faking a climax while seated at a New York deli stands as one of the most memorable moments in film history. Katz’s, the deli where the scene took place, is running a contest on …

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HBO Responds To Starbucks Gaffe In Game Of Thrones

From the Hollywood Reporter: Savvy viewers who tuned in to the fourth episode of the HBO fantasy saga’s final season, “The Last of the Starks,” were distracted when they spotted what appeared to be an out-of-place Starbucks coffee cup in a scene taking place in Winterfell, the home of House Stark. Starbucks later responded with a tweet. “TBH we’re surprised …

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OOPS: Starbucks Cup Appears In Game Of Thrones

The Verge reports: Game of Thrones, the most closely watched and scrutinized show on TV, last night aired a huge moment of lore discontinuity, as a celebratory feast in Winterfell happened to include a distinctly modern takeaway coffee cup among all the metal goblets of wine. It’s not obvious who the offending coffee drinker on set was, or what flavor …

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#FakeMelania Is Once Again Dominating Twitter

Heavy.com reports: The “Fake Melania” chorus of social media voices has struck again. In what seems to be the biggest irony ever, Trump who had been at the forefront of the “birther” movement against President Barack Obama, having accused the latter of not being born in the United States, now faces a “truther” movement of his own. “Fake Melania is …

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California’s “Glory Hole” Sucks In Record Rainfall

The Guardian reports: Some say it looks like a a toilet being flushed; in more generous interpretations, it is a beautiful inverted fountain. In a rare occurrence, the water level in the Lake Berryessa reservoir, 75 miles north of San Francisco, has risen so much that it is pouring into a 200ft-deep circular pipe constructed in its corner. The 72ft …

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