Rafael Cruz: Only My Godly Son Can Spare America From God’s (Probably Murderous) Judgment [AUDIO]

“Look at the example of Josiah, King Josiah, in the Old Testament. The people of Israel, where judgment was imminent, because a godly man, a man that brought the people back to the law – and what just happened is judgment was deferred, and so it restored confidence in the people. All we need is a leader that will take us back to the Judeo-Christian principles, to the rock-solid principles of the Constitution, that will make America again that exceptional country that will take us back to where there’s freedom, there is opportunity, there is the ability for any American with hard work and perseverance to achieve any of their dreams. – Rafael Cruz, speaking on the radio show of raving anti-gay loon Sandy Rios.

  • Michael Smith

    God’s such a fan of Ted that he’s allowing him to get his butt kicked by a hedonistic billionaire.

    • Todd20036

      A gluttonous, greedy, wrathful, envious, lustful, prideful billionaire.

      • Joe in PA

        With a teeny peeny.

        • Rex

          and a malfunctioning earpiece.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            and short little baby fingers

          • Bad Tom

            Broken brain to match.

          • Prixator

            and a mystifying hairpiece (what *is* it supposed to resemble? Can’t be real hair).

        • b

          And a weird break. Like Grandpa Munster.

      • Rambie

        Ted fits all those but the billionaire part.

        • PeterC

          And he may just be a billionaire by the time the election is completed.

      • canoebum

        Who probably doesn’t have a billion dollars.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        You forgot adulterous liar.

        • Michael Rush

          Who wants to screw his own daughter .

          • Wynter Marie Starr

            So, a wanna be incestuous adulterous liar.

      • lattebud

        And twice divorced

      • Joseph Miceli

        whose wife I’ve seen naked, and that’s no lie. Won’t she make a great FLOTUS?

        • Henri205

          Great follow-up to Michelle ‘Elegance Personified’ Obama.

          • Joseph Miceli

            And a perfect contrast.

    • b

      God uses his magic to grant wishes, right? They should pray more, and god will elect him president, if that’s god’s desire. If it is god’s will to answer Democratic prayers, then god has spoken: he want’s a more liberal person in office to help the poor and sick, just like Jesus preached in the Gospel! Problem solved.

  • Frostbite

    wow. this alone should disqualify cruz..

    • Todd20036

      Actually, the fact that Cruz is unwilling to use his own birth name says a lot right there.

      • Frostbite

        yeah, didn’t work so well for Willard Mitt Romney.

  • pickypecker


  • bkmn

    Lots of oooga-booga from pops.

    • McSwagg

      “Objects (brains) in this cartoon appear larger than actual size.”

  • 2patricius2

    Daddy’s getting desperate, isn’t he?

    • Todd20036

      Well, Mommy sure was, at one point.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Are there not siblings ? I would do the google but am terrified that there might be pics.

        • WNY

          Both of Cruz’s parents, Rafael Cruz and Eleanor Darragh Wilson, were married to others before they married in 1969.

          Cruz, 44, had two half-sisters from his father’s earlier marriage. One, Miriam Cruz, died in 2011 at age 49, in Collingdale, Pa., a Philadelphia suburb. The medical examiner ruled it an accidental death from taking a combination of prescription medicines.

          Miriam Cruz also had a series of run-ins with the law in Delaware County, Pa., in the 1990s and 2000s and was incarcerated for a short time for theft in 2004, county records show. Usually represented by public defenders, she was awaiting trial on arrests in 2010 for retail theft, public drunkenness and receiving stolen property when she died.

          The other half-sister, Roxana Cruz, 52, is a medical doctor, who practices as an internist in Greenville, Texas, 45 miles northeast of Dallas. Asked if she was available to speak about her brother, her office manager, Cindy Paxton, said, “Dr. Cruz is here to practice medicine and she is here to see and treat her patients. Other than that, she has no comment.”

          Cruz does not talk about his sisters publicly. In contrast, he talks frequently about his parents who, despite a reconciliation, divorced in 1997 after Ted Cruz finished law school.

          But Cruz appears to have had a relationship with his half-sisters. Miriam Cruz’s son, Joe Maykopet, 30, said in a brief interview that he would see Ted Cruz when he was growing up. Asked what the relationship was like, he said, “I guess like a normal uncle/nephew relationship.” He said they were “close” and that he learned of the presidential announcement “just like everybody else,” from social media.

          “My uncle has probably been one of the bigger male figures in my life,” he said.

          Read more here: http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/election/article24782596.html#storylink=cpy

          • Tigernan Quinn

            Like that doesn’t just SCREAM “we cut off our heathen daughters and never spoke of them again.” If Hillary had let a half relative sit in jail for half a second we’d be hearing about it for eternity.

          • olandp

            A family of fornicators and adulterers as well as liars and thieves.

    • Joe in PA

      He’s seeing that night in the Lincoln bedroom slipping away. Bwaahaha!

    • BlueberriesForMe

      I’m surprised he hasn’t had a stroke yet. The Lard must be biding His time.

    • kevin vincent

      Well Cruz is behind RUBIO on Super Tuesday all his attacks and lies and it backfired. It’s funny how impotent he became

      • McSwagg

        Recent polls show Cruz leading Trump and Rubio in the Super Tuesday states of Texas and Arkansas. Arkansas is relatively delegate poor and doesn’t matter much, but Texas has a substantial delegate count and could keep Cruz in the Circus for at least a few more weeks.

  • sherman

    And by “people”, he means straight, white, Christian people, with extra privilege for men.

    • Ben in Oakland

      You beat me to it.

    • Todd20036

      you left out, “close-minded, ignorant, bigoted”

      More open and educated white, Christian people are not welcome

  • Thank you, Rafael. Do keep reminding voters that a vote for Ted Cruz is a vote for the Messiah. Albeit a rather mean, nasty, dishonest, unlovable, divisive Messiah.

    • Curieux Bleu

      Fuck your murderous angry vengeful horrid Messiah, and Fuck you too Rafael, and Fuck you two, Raphael Junior.

      You are all part of the greater HOLE-FILLED TRINITY OF HATEFUL EVIL, GOD THE BLASPHEMER, AND SATAN THE DECEIVER, … or in other words you are all part of the oligarchic industrial-military Billionaire complex, the conspiracy of con artists conniving to destroy America .

      Let’s scream it out louder, from the Rooftops … Go Fuck Yourselves!, including GOD, SATAN, and the TWO EVIL SHRIEKING RAFAEL morons.

      (How I really feel, … that’s really quite another matter!) /s

      • Todd20036

        Personally, I wouldn’t fuck Rafael with Trump’s tiny meat.

        • Curieux Bleu

          Ohh! So Marco’s little mud splat stuck on the Teflon wall, … well just a TINY little bit, I suppose!

          Only actual pictures, properly documented, however would settle the matter with REAL evidence.

          • olandp

            Who would want to see that?

          • Curieux Bleu

            I don’t know …. maybe Marco …..

      • Harley

        Don’t mince words Bleu. Tell us what you really think.

        • Curieux Bleu

          Darn, I’ve just been to the dentist! It burns so bad!

          Maybe after a few stiff ones!

    • CB

      Have you seen the “father god” nonsense?

      I thought Janeane Garofalo was joking, but Ted actually says it.


    • Librarykid

      Ted is the Messiah’ evil twin and this old man is a walking talking demonstration of alcohol-related brain damage.

      • 2patricius2

        I’m thinking the Messiah in Ted’s evil twin, with how vengeful the Messiah is…. 🙂

        • Harley

          Yea, well I saw Ted 2 last night and it wasn’t nearly as funny as Ted 1.

          • Prixator

            Better Off Ted!

    • b

      Let god take care of it. If god wants him to be president, he will be! He is the magic man, right? The sky genie who grants wishes. The Cruz family should just pray more, and more, and more, and sky man will grant their wish! Problem solved.

      Daddy Cruz has a hatred for the Castro regime, because he kicked him and his rich friends out for robbing the country.

    • McSwagg

      What do the Kruz Klan call their estate in Texas?
      The Messiah Complex.

      • Haah!

      • Henri205

        There must be a lot of competition for village (or estate) idiot.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      “My son’s not the messiah! ‘E’s a very naughty boy!”

      Life of Brian

  • Oh’behr

    Which god? I know Kali pissed, who else. /s

    • Todd20036


      Though Thor is acceptable, too.

      • Jimmie Z

        Thor! and his HAMMER! makes me shiver with delight.

    • rabbit_ears

      Loviatar might be ok with all the pain the religioids cause.

  • BlueberriesForMe

    “Look at the example of King Josiah in the Old Testament”.
    No, thanks.

    Instead, let’s look at the TV Guide tonight to see if “The Real Wives of Tel Aviv” is going to be on. I know that’s what The Lard wants me to do because he sent me an e-mail about it this morning.

    • lattebud

      Let’s use the one I bought at Costco

      • BlueberriesForMe

        What a deal!

  • Tor

    When your point of reference is over 2500 years old, it’s probably out of date.

  • swirl

    “…that will take us back to where there’s freedom…”

    We would all like that, but your son doesn’t want freedom for all.

  • For Rafael so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, and sent him forth to lie and judge and condemn and make enemies and divide and ultimately to lose.

    • Librarykid

      and judge other men’s penes, which is not nice since they are God-given.

  • Billy Billiamson

    Shit, if God hasn’t smote us for the treatment of native Americans, slavery, poor treatment of other countries, etc. then I don’t think the big guy is stepping in any time soon…

    • Steverino

      And besides, he likely is too busy fiddling with a black hole somewhere.

      • Harley

        And He’s got such a hard on for San Francisco and west Hollywood that His aim is off. He keeps hitting the Bible Belt with all His tornadoes.

        • clay

          It’s that damn rotation of the earth thing; the guy always did lead too much when shooting at moving prey.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Gotta admit, we have to thank Donald Drumpf for squeezing America’s ugly pimple down to a third rate zit.

  • Ninja0980

    Gawd clearly disapproves of your son being a lying, slimy weasel hence the reason his run could be over soon.

  • Bad Tom

    Old Testament or Constitution
    Pick One

    • Chucktech

      I believe the choice has been made by the reality based community.

    • Joe in PA

      And how many times has that rock solid constitution been amended? /s

      • Librarykid

        and how many times has the Bible been mistranslated?

  • rabbit_ears

    So Raf baby thinks he’s god and Ted is jeebus?

  • canoebum

    “take us back to (an America) where there’s freedom, there is opportunity, there is the ability for any American with hard work and perseverance to achieve any of their dreams.” *

    *Except for the damned queers. They only deserve death.

    • Todd20036

      And blacks deserve to be shot, and Muslims deserve to be constantly observed, and women deserve to have babies even if raped or if they could die from the pregnancy.

      Really charming America, no?

    • Harley

      I really miss those ol’ time witch BAR-B-Qs.

  • Rex

    I have a feeling that not that many people actually like your godly son, Rafael. Let’s just see what happens on Super Tuesday.

    • McSwagg

      Recent polls show Cruz leading in Texas. This circus will continue for a few more weeks at least.

  • If Ted Cruz is the Second Coming, Christians wasted two thousand years waiting for a great big nothing!

    • BlueberriesForMe

      And you can’t even get your money back. Or get a lousy T-Shirt.

    • Henri205

      Except a going…..buh bye Raf!

  • Secure

    Immorality is the problem? The destruction of America is all Bristol Palin’s fault.

    • WNY

      Stone her! It says to do that in the Bible!

  • TheManicMechanic

    Is that cheap suit made from mixed materials? Get my machete, I’ll give you “Judeo-Christian principles.”

    • Harley

      Now now. Bible says throw stones. I have a bunch with all kinds of jagged/pointy spikes on them ( dremmels work good at shaping the points).

      • TheManicMechanic

        Size is mostly unspecified too. No one is saying I can’t use a trebuchet…

  • grada3784

    Does that mean distrusTed is slated to be killed at Megiddo fighting the Egyptians, like Josiah was?

    Or will it be a Russian-Chinese army doing the Armageddon Flush?

    • Chucktech

      Let’s just say that I’m certain god’s not gonna do a goddam thing regarding Rafael Cruz and his travails.

  • DaveMiller135

    I’m not a fan of Ted Cruz, by any measure known to man, but I am sometimes surprised at how far he has gotten. All things considered.

    • pj

      shows how low the bar is….look at trump.

      • Chucktech

        Money’ll do that…

  • MikeBx2

    Exactly how far does he want to “take us back”? Not all that long ago, there were plenty who claimed that Judeo-Christian principles demanded that races shouldn’t mix. That women shouldn’t vote. That private consenting adult behavior could warrant the death penalty. How far back should we go?

    • Rex

      Back to the days of Moses, Rafael went to high school with him.

    • Henri205

      The Inquisition. Those were fun times.

  • Blake J Butler

    They believe in bullshit, they preach bullshit, and they are full of shit. And their voters are too naive and/or ignorant to fact check the information that they are being fed.

    • lattebud

      Donald Trump’s tax returns

  • Cosmo Tupper

    And the “Beast” has spoken!

  • Rex

    BTW, Sandy, if Cruz gets his way you’ll be back in the kitchen where you belong.

  • Canadian Observer

    I’ve been skipping the science and genetic news lately – has the human genome project determined the precise location of the batshit crazy gene yet?

    • Henri205

      If I can swab my dog’s saliva and the lab can identify breed and such, it should be possible for some poor soul to catch some spittle from either of the Rafs as they pontificate and send it to the DNA lab. The batshit crazy gene would be dominant in some way. correct? I’m no geneticist but I saw Jurassic World 🙂

    • ultragreen

      You never know, there could be a batshit crazy virus that we haven’t discovered yet, perhaps a variant of rabies.

  • Gyeo

    God is going to kill us over not electing Ted Cruz, but not for wholesale genocide of indigenous people and the enslavement of black and slaughter of black people. Which. . . is actually fairly accurate of the Old Testament God.

    • Tor

      ….and what part of that does not make sense to you?

  • Sam_Handwich
  • oikos
    • lattebud

      Too bad his is still on AOL dial up and the piano never falls on them due to the lag time.

      • oikos

        F*cking buffering. 🙂

  • Tigernan Quinn

    And what year was it that we reached our zenith of awesoneness? I’m told we need to get back to “there,” but when is that time? World Wars? Rampant unemployment? Disgusting largesse? When was this golden age when everything worked just swell?

    • Tor

      The magical 50’s – when there was a 90% tax bracket.

      • ultragreen


        • Tor

          I stand corrected. 😉

  • Ray Page

    Rafael and his demon seed, Ted: Proving daily that not only is there no god, but also that sometimes abortion is the right choice.

  • pch1013

    Insofar as a Trump Presidency would result in wholesale economic collapse and nuclear war, he might actually have a point.

  • continuum

    Can you imagine how much this man has warped his sons mind?

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Every time Rafael opens his mouth, his son loses a voter. Keep talking you crazy old man.

  • clay

    Sorry, it’s after lunch; I’m going to need this with less comma splice.

  • Ron Robertson

    Prove anything you say is true, there’s no fucking god, and your fucking bible is just so much wasted paper and ink. Fuck off, and take your slimy offspring with you. Sick of you stupid bible thumpers and your insanity.

    • Paige Turner

      Well said Ron. I agree completely.

  • Cuberly

    The ultimate stage-mom. Make Teddy win or gawd’ll nuke the shit out of the universe.

    That entire family needs straight jackets and meds.

  • RickCabral

    Doesn’t pop remind you of someone – – – Dilbert’s boss, maybe?

    • I’ve been thinking: Saruman screaming “To war!”

  • MB

    The stupid little whining bitch is the (cough) governmental affairs director for the AFA.
    ~ Anything that makes perfect sense to Sandy Rios is a bunch of horseshit.~
    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    Steve Deace: Trump Campaign ‘Is Very Dangerous,’ Ben Carson Is A Scam Artist
    Sandy Rios w/ Rafael Cruz: Ted Cruz Will Spare America From God’s Judgment, Like King Josiah

    Sandy Rios: People Hate Ted Cruz Because He’s ‘Righteous’

    Sandy Rios: Paranoia-Rama: Beyoncé’s Antichrist Agenda, Dictator Bernie Sanders & Obama’s Gay Prostitute Past Revealed

    Sandy Rios: Beyoncé Ushering In The Antichrist With Her ‘Black Racism’ And ‘Lawlessness

    Sandy Rios: Liberals Just Using Flint Water Crisis And The Zika Virus To Scare People…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    • McSwagg

      “Sandy Rios: People Hate Ted Cruz Because He’s ‘Righteous’.”
      People hate Ted Cruz because he’s ‘SELF Righteous’.

      • Ben in Oakland

        Nah. He’s just an asshole.

  • Thorn Spike

    So move to Israel, already.

  • Henri205

    Ole Rafael here is unhinged.

  • Richard Rush

    Some day, a father telling everyone his son is Godly will be as ill-advised as it once was for a father to tell everyone his son is Gay. Ahhhh, schadenfreude is delightful.

  • ByronK

    Only anti-psychotic medication can spare America from Raphael’s (probably murderous) rantings. The world is in a sorry state when any audience beyond the neighbourhood cat ladies street corner preachers gives this lunatic the time of day.

    • KnownDonorDad

      Cat ladies are pretty live-and-let live. He can have the street corner preachers.

  • Mark

    Got company coming for the weekend – so it’s clean, clean, clean! But – thought I’d grab a break – and here is this fucking loon. This is definitely one case where Cuba rounded up the fucking crazy, put them in a row boat, and shoved them out to sea.

  • agcons

    Who remembers all the grief Jimmy Carter got because of Billy? Now just look at how things are.

  • Marides48

    “Hard work”??? I’ve doubt if this grifter has ever had to work hard.

  • Macbill

    Did Teddy Dad ever work a real job, or just shill for Christ?

  • houstonray

  • bob

    And again, how different is this from kkk support

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Nobody chooses their parents but having someone like this represent you, blood relation or not, should disqualify him. That it does not speaks poorly of our country. We might as well have Ted Nugent run for President too.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Also I can not understand why anybody would choose a spouse with that kind of in-law.

  • The usual definition of a terrorist is someone who uses acts and threats of violence and mass murder in order to advance an ideological agenda.

    Just puttin’ that out there.

  • RJ Bone


    I CAN’T BREATHE! HELP MEEE! HAHAHAHAHHAHA *passes out from lack of oxygen*

  • Dave

    Ted Cruz is the spawn of Satan (if there were such a thing) both literally and figuratively. His father is just as evil as he is. Reporters may consider religion to be taboo but people need to know just how far these two are into the lunatic fringe. They support the Seven Mountains Dominionism theology whose goal is to turn the country into a theocracy and Godly utopia. They should scare the shit out of anyone with half a brain. Which lets out most of the republicans.