LIVE VIDEO: Trump Gets More Pardoning Practice

You KNOW he’s going to fuck this up somehow.

President Trump will exercise his pardon power on Tuesday, sparing two turkeys named Wishbone and Drumstick from becoming Thanksgiving dinner.

Trump’s first turkey pardoning is in keeping with a White House tradition of nearly three decades. The first official turkey pardoning was done by former president George H. W. Bush in 1989.

Like many distinguished White House guests, Wishbone and Drumstick got special tours. While Drumstick checked out the Rose Garden, White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders brought Wishbone into the briefing room.

  • Boreal

    White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders brought Wishbone into the briefing room…………………………where she promptly devoured him, feathers and all.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Projectile anal turkey shit.

    Come on Turkeys, do it for America.

  • Paula

    Watch Trump exclaim Hell no, I want to eat the big one.

    • Gustav2

      Deep Fried!

    • FAEN

      You’d think he’d lay off the fried foods given the size of his ass. Hit butt is yuuuge too.

      • Paula

        He’d probably send it to KFC to be deep fried. He has an SS agent for that.

    • Snarkaholic

      He’ll show up with a bottle of ketchup.

  • I didn’t realize the first turkey pardoning was by Bush 41. I thought it was a tradition that went back Long before I was born.

  • The_Wretched

    SHS was put in charge of walking the turkeys around? that’s somehow entirely both demeaning and appropriate.

    I’ll also admit to wondering how Trump will embarrass the nation this time. He’s never failed to yet so I’m sure it’ll be something like fat shaming the birds or calling them sexy.

  • Lazycrockett

    Has there even been a report of Turkey’s killing a human?

    • FAEN

      BLOTUS is human?

      • No other species will claim him.

        • FAEN

          There are plenty of us who don’t.

    • Chris H.

      No, but there’s a first for everything.
      *Crosses fingers*

    • GanymedeRenard

      Let’s ask Armenians.

  • FAEN

    OT/CBS fires Charlie Rose.

    • Chucktech

      Apparently, he’s a first-order pig. Good.

      And, who knew?

      • FAEN

        I know right? I would never have thought Rose would be this much of a misogynist asshole.

        • Dreaming Vertebrate

          I was very disappointed in Charlie Rose, too.

      • The_Wretched

        Some of his producers at a minimum.

  • Chris H.
  • Stogiebear

    So Drumstick got to see the Rose Garden and pick out the flowers for his grave. Thanks for playing “Drumpfstick.”

  • Sam_Handwich

    what could possibly go wrong?

  • Rebecca Gardner

    All these Turkeys colluded with Russia.

    • Gustav2

      Turkey has been lately…

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Its all about the snood.

    Studies have shown that snood length is associated with male turkey health. In addition, a 1997 study in the Journal of Avian Biology found that female turkeys prefer males with long snoods and that snood length can also be used to predict the winner of a competition between two males.

    Read more:

    • Chucktech

      Snood. So that’s what they call it…

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Nice snood, dude.

        • Chucktech

          You know you want it…

      • GanymedeRenard

        A rose by any other name…

  • bkmn

    Run Wishbone, Sarah thinks you would make good gravy.

  • MikeBx2

    A completely innocent turkey being pardoned by a blatantly crooked president. The only way to make this less absurd is Mueller showing up with handcuffs.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Hurry up before Sarah eats them.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Today’s White House dinner will instead be Chicken Kiev.

  • Sam_Handwich

    The history is longer and more complicated than the article describes:

    The first President on record issuing a “pardon” to his turkey was Ronald Reagan. Reagan had been sending the turkeys presented to him to farms and zoos since at least 1982,[9] and 1987’s turkey, Charlie, was likewise headed to a petting zoo.

    Prior to that, there had been a turkey “presentation” ceremony, which began under Truman.

  • Tor

    All I can think about is turkey poop on the carpets.

    • Chucktech

      (I thought it was just me…)

    • Lantor

      The administration sh*ts on the American people. Only fair.

  • Paula

    It would be really cool to see a SWAT team raid the event to rescue the turkeys.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      It would be really, really cool if the turkeys mistook Drumpf’s tiny fingers for grubs, and gobbled a few down, leaving just tiny little stumps, unable to grab any more pussies.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Or tweet ever again

        • Paula

          One can only hope.

      • Paula

        I fell sorry for the poor SS agent assigned to do it for him. He might have to pick Donnie’s nose, too. EEEEEWWWW!

  • boobert

    ATTACK, like the eagle did ! lol

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    What do Trump and turkeys have in common?

    Prodigious wattles.

  • Billanddogs

    The most wondrous turkey pardon of all time was Sarah Palin blathering on about (what else?) herself after pardoning a turkey – while more turkeys were being slaughtered behind her. Their blood had filled a big tank.

    • Chucktech

      Gawd that was so cluelessly hysterical!

      • JackFknTwist

        Yeah, it was unforgettable.

    • Treant

      I wonder why more feather meal isn’t available in spring?

      (No, serious question, it’s a good source of very slow nitrogen).

  • TrueWords
    • Bluto

      Like flag dancing @ a smear the queer hate rally, totally not gay.
      Now sign me up & pass the olive oyl.

    • Chucktech

      I’ll pardon them, anytime…

    • zhera

      Pardon ME! I need a moment…

      • TrueWords

        There is plenty of oil to go around….

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Trump only pardons white turkeys.

  • Bambino

    I just want the turkeys to perform this ritual on the dotard to signal the end of this administration is nigh.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Seeing that would make anyone’s skin crawl! Ack!

      • Treant

        They’re following the designated flock leader, who got a bit confused and started walking in a circle. They’ll figure it out in 20 seconds or so. 🙂

        Watch humans getting into an elevator where everybody’s facing backwards. They’ll do it too.

        • E.J.

          looks like they are circling a dead animal in the road. Doesn’t look like a Turkey though

          • Treant

            Cat? Raccoon? Something about that size.

            (I was actually making an indirect joke about Follow the Leader which would have led to Trump puns, but I guess it was really, really deeply hidden and wearing camo).

          • E.J.

            I’m just getting over a sinus infection so subtle humor isn’t registering at the moment……I wonder if they are thinking of a snack. Turkeys will eat just about anything, usually not that big though

          • Treant

            I’ve seen bunnies go after roadkill…and deer. There really aren’t any mammals (at the minimum) that won’t at least try it out. It’s a good protein source, even if one’s digestion isn’t optimal for it!

            I hope you’re feeling better! And no, it really was an extremely weak joke. Totally unworthy of Treant humor.

          • E.J.
        • Natty Enquirer

          You’re an animal behaviorist now, too? This is better described as a predator inspection. The birds are making sure the cat is well and truly dead.

          • Treant

            And following the flock leader, who’s a bit confused.

  • JWC

    Did anyone tell Trump that Obama ALSO Pardone TUrkeys??

  • Billy Green

    “Trump pardons more turkeys”

    “Trump practices for future pardoning of friends and relatives”

  • Bluto

    So now he’s dissing Truman, lol.

  • Gustav2

    This is not the first visitors to the White House who shit on the carpet.

  • Robert K Wright

    Here I thought their names were Jared and Ivanka….

    • GanymedeRenard

      Or Jr. and Eric.

  • GanymedeRenard

    Hey, Wishbone and Drumstick, take a clue:

  • Gustav2

    5 young women?

  • Bluto

    & now he’s dissing Obama. what a TWAT.

    • motordog

      I’m surprised he didn’t work Hillary into it somehow.

  • Gustav2

    No pardon can be revoked ASSHOLE!

  • Gustav2

    Warm meals, not HOT meals?

    • Bluto

      his generosity has limits.

  • Gustav2

    He is reading this and still mucking it up.

  • Gustav2

    Our trust loyalty and affection for Our Dear Leader.

  • Bluto

    I agree w/ the turkeys, STFU!

  • Bluto

    c’mon squirt shit on him.

  • Treant

    Don’t care, won’t care, won’t watch.

  • Bluto

    whew! hard day of presidentin’.

  • JoeMyGod
    • KnownDonorDad

      Seriously? I would have thought that was an Onion headline. Ugh…

    • JackFknTwist

      Trump/turd is cheap spoiled + soiled goods.
      This will be his last turkey pardon.

    • Strepsi

      It also rankles me the press giggling along with this dumb tradition this year. Their complicity in normalizing this asshole’s presidency is becoming annoying.

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    • Dan M

      President Trump didn’t pardon the whole turkey, just the white meat…. Conan O’Brien

  • E.J.

    Way O.T.
    I’m about to start a 700 mile trip to northern Ohio for Thanksgiving. I used to be able to make this trip in one go, but not anymore. Does anyone have any recommendations for a hotel brand that would be in Northern Kentucky or Southern Ohio. All I need is a place to sleep, but nice is good.

  • Guess

    He’s gonna slaughter them live and say it’s in protest of athletes kneeling.

  • KnownDonorDad

    And then Don Jr. and Eric shot them.

  • alc2018
  • cheakamus

    So do they wait until Black Friday to, you know, actually kill the turkeys? Because no one is going to keep housing and feeding a turkey for the rest of its natural life. These are farm animals, not people. The only reason they exist is for food. I guarantee you last year’s pardonees have long since been made into turkey bacon, turkey cutlets or ground turkey meat. It’s long past time they retired this “practice,” which after all, only began with H.W. Instead, let’s recognize and appreciate the real contribution of farmers and farm animals to our continued existence on this planet. Isn’t that really what Thanksgiving is supposed to be about?

  • LeftyNYC

    Joe’s first line in this post hit me in the funny bone. So blunt and so true.

  • Oscarlating Wildely
  • wmforr

    He has a lot of turkeys to pardon in the coming months, starting with Donnie “Elephantbane” Junior and Jared “I didn’t know that receiving stolen information from the KBG was wrong” Kushner.

  • AlternativeQuacks

    This turkey’s name is Roger Stone, and this turkey’s name is Paul Manafort, and…

  • leastyebejudged

    Much turkey.

  • Taylor Bixler