Stephen Colbert Brutally Mocks Junior For Election Day Flubs: It Turns Out Eric Is The Smart One [VIDEO]

Newsweek reports:

With President Donald Trump out of the country, his son Donald Trump Jr. decided to urge people to vote Tuesday in the Virginia gubernatorial election.

Except he completely messed it up, and, of course, Stephen Colbert had great fun at his expense.

Colbert remarked: “Donald Jr. woke up this morning to urge people to get the vote out…but maybe he should’ve waited until he’d had his morning cup of hair gel.”

  • John Ruff

    Ha ha ha! Eric actually has an advanced degree. It goes to show you that anyone can get an advanced degree if they have money.

    • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

      “Learn Money Laundering”

    • shellback

      Schooling does not mean intelligence.

    • Strepsi

      an advanced degree of brain syphilis?

    • Snarkaholic

      The professors probably told him class times started thirty minutes later than they actually did…so they could lock him out of the classroom!

      • John Ruff

        Lol

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    I am certain that little JR is on something.

    • Cuberly Deux

      “Sniff”

    • Bambino

      Raiding daddy stash while he is away as per usual.

  • PickyPecker
  • Acronym Jim

    I wonder how many Russian bots voted in Virginia today?

  • AlternativeQuacks

    Somewhere there’s a photoshop that mixed Don Jr. sitting on that tree stump, Kellyanne Conway sitting on the couch and Chris Christie sitting on the beach all into the same picture. I wish I had saved that.

    • worstcultever

      Crispy on the beach makes every meme hilarious!

      • greenmanTN
        • Stephen Elliot Phillips

          thats a lost super storm sandy photograph!

          • RoFaWh

            It’s from a new movie, “The Wizard of Ooze” and Christie’s line is “Rover, I don’t think we’re in New Jersey anymore.”

            Edit: Re-reading this particular immortal contribution to JMG, I have to suspect that it’s terminally corny. My apologies.

          • bzrd

            No need, crispy, corn tortillas make great Taco Tuesdays

        • Librarykid

          When the storm picked up Christie, he stripped its gears and Dorothy never made it out of Kansas.

  • JT

    It Turns Out Eric Is The Smart One

    Junior played “Are you smarter than a zombie?” and lost.

    • SelectFromWhere

      He’s the smart one because he keeps his mouth shut compared to the other 3 windbags in that family (his dad and full siblings).

  • worstcultever

    Treason’s Greetings, greaseball. Oops, I mean Merry Prisonmas.

    • medaka

      I want another Merry Indictivus!

  • JT

    Someone I’d prefer to see in the Oval Office.

    DURHAM, N.C. — A passer-by drops something and you spring to pick it up. Or maybe you hold the door for someone behind you. Such acts of kindness to strangers were long thought to be unique to humans, but recent research on bonobos suggests our species isnot as exceptional in this regard as we like to think.

    Famously friendly apes from Africa’s Congo Basin, bonobos will go out of their way to help strangers too, said Jingzhi Tan, a postdoctoral associate in evolutionary anthropology at Duke University.

    A previous study by Tan and associate professor of evolutionary anthropology Brian Hare found that bonobos share food with strangers. Now, in a new series of
    experiments, the team is trying to find out just how far this kindness
    goes.

    The researchers studied wild-born bonobos at the Lola ya Bonobo sanctuary in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

    In one experiment, they found that bonobos will help a stranger get food even when there is no immediate payback.

    https://today.duke.edu/2017/11/bonobos-help-strangers-without-being-asked

    https://today.duke.edu/sites/default/files/styles/story_hero/public/bonoboface.jpg

    • medaka

      The of course there is their practice of conflict-resolution through sex….

      • JT

        Same sex sex included.

        • medaka

          Yes, they do LGB kiss and make-up sex to. I wonder if there are trans bonobos. I’m not joking.

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Call me Cait-cait.

    • worstcultever

      At the Safeway a while back, the woman checking out in front of me (middle-age Black woman) asked me if she could pay for my stuff. (Not a lot of stuff, maybe $10-15 worth) – surprised and somewhat befuddled, I asked her why and she said something like just because, and I said, well, um, ok, sure, thank you blahblahblah … anyway, really nice. Then again I’m always throwing money at strangers who ask for it – so maybe was a bit of my karmic payback!

      • RoFaWh

        It never hurts to say “please”, “thank you”, and “may I?”

        The last is important because it’s the phrase that stops you from committing the crime against civilized behavior known as “doing people favors they didn’t ask for.”

        If a road rager is tailgating you, put on your turn signal and move to another lane to let them get by. Yes, they shouldn’t be so aggressive and impatient, but life is too short to spend valuable seconds getting mad at idiots. Letting them by is another example of the small politenesses that make for a calm society.

        Judith Martin’s “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior” remains a good guide to the subject it covers, and is recommended to those not sure about what constitutes good behavior.

    • MichaelJ

      Of course there are other apes–chimpanzees–that will massacre chimps from others tribes. (This is documented by Jane Goodall’s writings, and in the wonderful new documentary film about her, “Jane.” )

      Too many humans are more like chimpanzees and less like bonobos.

      • -M-

        There are only a handful of ape species in the world yet the sexual and social structures are so diverse. Even closely related species like Chimp and bonobos are very different. And none of the others are good analogies for humans. We’re in some sliding gray area between chimps and bonobos with made a little gorilla. Evolution says, “Here’s a bunch of answers, good luck figuring out the questions suckers.”

    • Lumpy Gaga

      And on top of it, they fuck like bonobos.

      • edrex

        i prefer to call it “pro-social behavior.”

    • KevInPDX

      Franz de Waals book “Our Inner Ape” is an excellent read. He rocks.

    • JCF

      And of course, bonobos are famously pansexual! 😉

  • Bambino

    I don’t know about you guys, I only have coffee and bagel with cream cheese for breakfast but they taste extra delicious this morning. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d8ffb624862b68fff254e681daea8303e17f62a91cb3839c7efd3c51fdde43fd.gif

    • Lumpy Gaga

      [Sigh]

      I miss bagels, but they just sit in my gut like I swallowed a rock.

      • Stephen Elliot Phillips

        oy

  • greenmanTN

    Colbert has been straight up savage for this entire year. He has some great writers and his delivery is spot on.

    • JCF

      “Not spending this Election Night like last year: looking at my carpet through empty liquor bottles”: we were all right there w/ ya, Stephen…

  • Paula

    This has been great! Every commentator on MSNBC or CNN has had a huge shit eating grin on their face this morning. Suck it, Donnie!

  • Paul Wood

    Sending thoughts and Psalm 109:8 prayers to those Republicans still left in office (‘may his days be few and let another take his office.’) 😊

  • Rebecca Gardner
    • Sam_Handwich

      [email protected] traitor tot

      • Mary

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    • worstcultever

      just love Traitor Tot

    • Bambino
      • RoFaWh

        And the intelligence and general knowledge Donny Jr. doesn’t have in his head. Like his father.

      • edrex

        he thinks he knows what “art form” means. how cute.

    • Todd20036

      He wasn’t impeached for perjury. He was impeached for a blow job.
      There was no reason for Bill Clinton to be interrogated over his infidelity in Congress. None.

    • canoebum

      Traitor Tot. I love it!

    • Danieruw

      “Traitor Tot” is brilliant!

  • Tawreos

    OT: A mayor that dropped the Democratic party last year to endorse Trump lost his reelection bid last night.

    https://www.clevescene.com/scene-and-heard/archives/2017/11/08/trump-loving-brook-park-mayor-tom-coyne-beachwood-mayor-merle-gorden-lose-re-election

  • AlternativeQuacks
  • Lars Littlefield

    OT: Remember Jason Chaffetz? (sorry for brining up that image while you’re eating brunch). Well, John Curtis won yesterday (it was expected) and will serve out what is left of Chffetz’s term. He’s the mayor of Provo, Ut, and in these here parts he’s considered a moderate conservative. But compared to a real moderate conservative from any other state, he’s a rabid, vicious, and most evil ultra right conservative. Even Breitbart is scared of him. Oh, and he has a long history of having sex with the babysitters his wife picks to watch their kids. But, hey, that’s OK, right?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Is she white?

      • Rambie

        It’s Utah, of course she’s white.

    • mdub in Puyallup

      I remember stopping for the night in Provo back in 1989 with my (then) newlywed bride. The motel manager made us show a marriage certificate before he would let my wife and I stay in the same room. I am thinking this is still indicative of Provo thinking today.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Yes. They have to do something to stop all the BYU boyze and gurlz from thinking they can just get a room to frolic like minks.

      • SelectFromWhere

        Who the fuck carries around their marriage certificate everywhere? Except the gays, who are used to it :-/

        • mdub in Puyallup

          I was in the army and needed to show it to my commander when I got back to Fort Hood. Otherwise, I don’t know what we would have done. We definitely couldn’t afford two rooms!

    • Edmund Allin

      As long as he’s properly contrite afterwards and resolves to sin no more, all is forgiven.

      • Lars Littlefield

        Yeah, right.

  • The_Wretched

    Also in that clip – Donny says we have nuclear sub at NK. You don’t mention the sub. It’s there to be sneaky.

    • Tom Ato

      They don’t understand “classified”

      • Pip

        They don’t understand a lot of things.

        • RoFaWh

          They don’t understand anything.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Delicious.