Idiocracy

Organizers Cancel NYC’s SantaCon Bar Crawl [VIDEO]

The New York Daily News reports: A lot of drunken Santa Clauses won’t be coming to town this year. SantaCon, the notoriously debauched yuletide-themed Manhattan bar crawl that each year fills city streets, subways and bars with stumbling and stewed St. Nicks, will not go forward this year due to the coronavirus pandemic, organizers confirmed to the Daily News Thursday. …

Read More »

NYT: Reps For Imprisoned Joe Exotic Spent $10,000 At Trump’s DC Hotel To Get His Attention For A Pardon

The New York Times reports: Others seeking creative ways to forge ties to the president include Joseph Maldonado-Passage, the former Oklahoma zoo owner who is better known as Joe Exotic. His representatives have been running a carefully orchestrated campaign to try to persuade Mr. Trump to pardon Mr. Maldonado-Passage, who is one year into a 22-year sentence for trying to …

Read More »

Trump’s Favorite Rapper “Little Pimp” Did Not Vote

The New York Daily News reports: Rapper Lil’ Pump, born Gazzy Garcia, gave his full-throated support to President Trump’s run for re-election. He didn’t, however, bother registering to vote, according to The Smoking Gun. The 20-year-old posted a video on Instagram where he has 17-million followers declaring “All I gotta say is Trump 2020, b-tch!.” It’s no longer online. The …

Read More »

Trump Praises Chachi For Rearranging Store Mugs

Mediaite reports: Scott Baio pulled off a stunt at Michael’s that sparked Donald Trump’s attention, even earning him some praise from the president. The Happy Days actor — a vocal Trump supporter — rearranged lettered mugs on display at the craft store chain to spell “Trump is still your president.” Baio then took to Twitter to share a photo of …

Read More »

Cultist Truckers Plan Anti-Biden Delivery Strike

From the Facebook group Stop The Tires 2020: Our message is simple and hopefully effective. We fully intend to exercise our rights, and will not have politicians making crippling decisions, that will negatively affect our future and the future of our children. President Trump has worked diligently for four long years to protect the rights and freedoms of all Americans, …

Read More »

Landscaping Outfit Hawks Merch After Giuliani Presser

From the FB page for Four Seasons Total Landscaping: Four Seasons Total Landscaping is a family-owned small business run by life long Philadelphians. We were honored to be asked to host a press conference at our facility. We thank all of those that have shown support for our business and while we understand the negative comments, it saddens us that …

Read More »

South Carolina Restaurant Apologizes For New Election Day Menu Item Called “Grab Her By The Juicy Burger”

South Carolina’s Post & Courier reports: The owner of a Charleston area chain of burger joints has taken responsibility for an Election Day menu featuring a sandwich named for President Donald Trump’s derogatory comments about women. According to Sesame Burgers and Beer owner Joe Fischbein, the specials sheet listing a $14 Cheeto-dusted “Grab Her By The Juicy Burger” was distributed …

Read More »

Arizona Cultists Sue County Officials Over “Sharpiegate”

Fox News reports: Several voters in Maricopa County, the largest in Arizona, brought a lawsuit today against Democratic County Recorder Adrian Fontes, the county Board of Supervisors and others, claiming that the use of Sharpie permanent markers at some polling sites left ballots too damaged to be counted. Democratic Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, whose office oversees elections statewide, told …

Read More »

Trump Tweets Two-Minute “YMCA” Dance Video

Mediaite reports: President Donald Trump’s closing argument in his bid for presidential reelection appears to be a two-plus minute montage of dancing to The Village People’s YMCA. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Trump added his own message of “VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!” to a video credited to the self-described “Digital Graffiti” artist and Twitter user Som3thingwicked. Future historians will almost certainly …

Read More »

Trump Mocks Ingraham For Wearing Mask At His Rally

ABC News reports: President Trump on Friday teased Fox News host Laura Ingraham for wearing a mask at his Michigan campaign rally, chiding her for being “politically correct.” “I do believe Laura Ingraham is here some place. Where is Laura? Where is she?” Trump said, scanning the crowd for the Fox News host. “I can’t recognize you. Is that a …

Read More »

Bots Tried To Steal Nickelodeon’s “Kids Vote” Election

The tech site Polygon reports: On Wednesday night, Nickelodeon announced former Vice President Joe Biden was the winner of the 2020 Kids Pick The President Vote,  despite a bot-driven effort to cheat the results. According to the network, nearly 90,000 kids cast their virtual ballot in the poll, which ran from Oct. 20 to Oct. 26. Biden received 53% of …

Read More »

Borat Hits Back After Trump Calls Him Unfunny “Creep”

USA Today reports: President Donald Trump called Sacha Baron Cohen “a creep” after previously unseen footage from the new “Borat” movie was shared to Twitter on Friday by Borat’s official account. While speaking to reporters on Air Force One on Friday, Trump was asked whether he was worried about security breaches after footage showed an actress from the movie apparently …

Read More »

Borat “Defends” Giuliani: The Fake News Misconstrues An Innocent Encounter With My 15 Year Old Daughter

“What was an innocent sexytime encounter between a consenting man and my 15-year-old daughter has been turned into something disgusting by fake news media. I warn you: Anyone else try this, and Rudolph will not hesitate to reach into his legal briefs and whip out his subpoenas.” – Sasha Baron Cohen, speaking as Borat in a clip released last night. …

Read More »

Water-Gate II: The Return Of President Sippy Cup

The New York Daily News reports: President Trump is flirting with his own version of Water-gate — again. For the second time in a few months, Trump struggled to lift a glass of water during his contentious interview with Lesley Stahl. Midway through the 38-minute sit-down, the president picked up a glass of water with his right hand. Instead of …

Read More »

Politico: Bored Trump Halted Highly Classified Intel Briefing On Afghanistan Because He Craved Milkshake

Politico reports: President Donald Trump was in the middle of receiving a highly classified briefing on Afghanistan at his New Jersey golf club when he suddenly craved a malted milkshake. “Does anyone want a malt?” he asked the senior defense and intelligence officials gathered around him, an august group that included the head of the CIA’s Special Activities Center, which …

Read More »

Trump Team Advisor Mercedes Schlapp Self-Owns By Comparing Biden’s Town Hall To Watching Mr. Rogers

ABC News reports: Mr. Rogers was trending Thursday night after Mercedes Schlapp, a senior adviser for President Donald Trump’s reelection campaign, compared Democratic nominee Joe Biden’s town hall to the beloved show. Schlapp was criticized for comparing the Biden to Mr. Rogers, with some calling it a “self-own” as the children’s television host was known to be patient, inclusive, and …

Read More »

Trump Retweets Article Ridiculing Wearing Of Masks

Days after taking a helicopter to the hospital, this morning Trump retweeted an article mocking face masks. From the Babylon Bee, which fashions itself as a right wing version of The Onion: In order to save lives and also because of science, Governor Gavin Newsom of California announced today that all restaurant food consumed in the state must come from …

Read More »

International Survey: Trump Less Trusted Than Xi

The Jerusalem Post reports: Negative perceptions of China have soared over the past year across many advanced economies, reaching all-time highs in a number of countries including the UK, Germany and Australia, a Pew Research Center poll published last week has found. While the increasingly unfavorable view of China is driven in large part by belief that the country did …

Read More »

Trump Wanted To Do Superman T-Shirt Reveal

The New York Times reports: In several phone calls last weekend from the presidential suite at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, Mr. Trump shared an idea he was considering: When he left the hospital, he wanted to appear frail at first when people saw him, according to people with knowledge of the conversations. But underneath his button-down dress shirt, …

Read More »

Melania Calls Stormy Daniels “Porn Hooker” In Secret Tape, Stormy Fires Back “I Like Your New Tits” [AUDIO]

TMZ reports: Melania Trump referred to her husband’s alleged mistress, Stormy Daniels, as “the porn hooker” while talking to a friend, who was secretly recording her for a book. The First Lady’s former BFF and adviser, Stephanie Wolkoff, just released the audio, recorded in 2018, and you hear Melania going off about the fact Stormy was getting A-list treatment with …

Read More »