Ace Is The Place For Gay Circular Saws [VIDEO]

JMG reader David points out that the latest holiday ad from Ace Hardware begins with a woman selecting a circular saw and saying to herself, “This takes care of my son AND my son-in-law.” While it could be argued that the son and the son-in-law are not married to each other and that each guy is getting a saw, this does seem to be a cute, albeit fleeting nod to same-sex marriage. Watch below.

  • Jake

    Or it could be a dark and sinister plot to “take care” of them.

    • Frostbite

      Chainsaw is far easier.. Not that I would know.

      • hdtex

        I prefer a good wood chipper but they are SO hard to come by.

        • nocadrummer

          And they make such a bloody mess of pure white snow!

          • Phil2u

            …as so deliciously depicted in “Fargo”

          • Frostbite

            It’s beautiful isn’t it? 😈

        • Fatimacchidester

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      • KCMC

        are the reciprocating kind of saws better for dildo attachments and taking care them?
        I’ve seen ads…

    • Uncle Mark

      Perhaps they’re chained to each other in mom’s bedroom without a key

  • bkmn

    Cue OneMillionMoms in 3..2..1…

    • Frostbite

      For being sawed?

      • Robincho

        You wish…

  • Matt

    I’ve seen that ad once and immediately thought – “ah, they’re married.”

    • Gigi

      There’s a classic VW commercial that was just a cute commercial to most, but to me it was obvious that the two guys were a couple. And a bi-racial couple too.

      • Oh’behr

        Lol. the Chair.

  • Dramphooey

    Don’t worry, None Million Moms, I’ve got this covered. I’m going to visit an Ace Hardware, pick up a circular saw and very loudly announce as I mark my list “this takes care of my son andBABY JESUS!”

    • grada3784

      Just remember: Baby Jesus had 2 Daddies.

    • vorpal

      Just say no to circumcision.

  • chris10858

    Well, she does only have the one chainsaw. So, yep. It’s a joint gift for her son and his husband. Yay!

    • MusicBear88

      Also nice that gay men are being mentioned in a hardware store, though it might have been funny to hear her talk about her daughter and daughter-in-law. πŸ˜€

  • Cousin Bleh

    I’m really worried the less-butch half of that couple is going to feel left out. Couldn’t she spring for a nice decanter too?

  • DaveW

    Well, clearly they don’t get that only one would be the carpenter and this gift to a couple would fall flat. I have a few because the old on is for stone etc. but hubby? I won’t let him near power tools. He hurts himself vacuuming.

    Isn’t it the same for the hets?

    He sometimes asks me to do laundry. Stock reply is “that noisy thing with the buttons?”

    It’s just silly banter that makes us feel as pathetic as our straight neighbors. We joke about hearing each other scream over stupid things.

    • lymis

      Now who’s being stereotypical? Sure, a lot of couples have a handyman and someone who wouldn’t appreciate a saw. But there are a lot of couples who either both do such things or neither.

      And I know more than a couple of straight couples who both do the remodeling.

  • Maybe I’m biased but I automatically look for the together lesbian couples in commercials like this who totally know how to do things like remodel kitchens and install state-of-the-art bathrooms. Heaven is buying a fixer-upper and finding out that your next door neighbors are a lesbian couple who just LOVE to help their inept neighbors out with things like buying and installing custom made granite countertops.

    • Gigi

      Cute, but a stereotype. My husband and I did all of the renovating in our first house – wiring, drywall, tile and hardwood installation, etc. – and our lesbian neighbours were always asking us for help. We had a pick-up truck, they drove a Prius.

    • Canadian Observer

      Brings back certain college memories of mine about being friends with a lesbian cabinet maker who was happy to come by and do minor repair work in exchange for a non-tofu based meal. She was under 5 feet tall and lugged around a tool box that weighed half as much as she did herself – whereas I had a single hammer and a butter knife doing double duty as a screwdriver. I didn’t even have to pay for assorted bits of hardware, she thought the home baked desserts covered the cost of sandpaper and miscellaneous nails and screws. Good times.

  • Pollos Hermanos

    Drag queens like power tools too….

  • Treant

    I think she means she’s going to use it to chop up her son and son-in-law.

  • boatboy_srq

    Maybe it’s just that it’s 2016, tRump is headed for the WH and the Pulse shooting is still relatively fresh in out minds, but I read the ad entirely differently – as in “take care of” by using circular saw ON son and son-in-law.

    Put in the gift-giving context, though, it is kinda cute.

  • Gigi

    When my man and I bought our first house (a dump that needed to be gutted & reno’d) we got lots of power tools from family members for Christmas. The looks on the faces of the older men were priceless. They were like, “I got slippers and the gay guys got a reciprocating saw. What’s up with that?”

    • edrex

      because no one knows how to reciprocate like a gay man.

      • pj

        ill take a reciprocating saw any day.

    • Ander

      My dream is to have a real dedicated work-shop.

      • Gigi

        We got rid of ours after renovating our third house ourselves. Now we just hire cute guys to do the work for us.

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          There’s a guy who does remodeling here in Palm Springs who looks like a Colt calendar that came to life. I had him give me an estimate on redoing my bathroom, and it was so hard to avoid just staring at him and drooling. But in the end, his prices were just way too high; he wanted more to do just the bathroom than I spent on updating my entire last house.

          • Gigi

            He works hard for the money.

      • Frostbite

        My dream is to have time to work in my work-shop.

      • vorpal

        My dream is to have someone dedicated to working my “workshop.”

    • Nic Peterson

      Renovating well is the best revenge, darling. Live the example.

  • SJWinCMH

    I absolutely LOVE my local Ace Hardware. It’s locally owned and has the most helpful, and cute staff. I’m thinking of one gentleman who works there in particular…OK I may need a moment or two here…

    • Cherry

      I love the smell when walking into an Ace Hardware or True Value. When I was a kid, our town had a small hardware store that smelled wonderful.

      • TimJ

        Isn’t it interesting, traditional hardware stores have a very specific smell. So do Asian groceries, bike shops, and drycleaners.

        • and bathhouses—umm–so I’ve heard…

        • Oh’behr

          So many older hardware stores no longer exist. I recall the older ones smelling like, well, hardware stores of my youth. Perhaps it was the wood floors and wooden boxes which carried screws, bolts and bits of this and that …

      • DonnaLee

        Mmm….Hardware stores always get me excited. All those men who knows how to use tools and fix things. And wood…lots and lots of wood.

  • Taylor

    Crossing two names off your list with one gift definitely infers that the son and the son-in-law will be sharing the saw.

    • CanuckDon

      And creating squabbles when the one isn’t doing it right.

    • lymis

      Yeah, and the next lady, who is taking care of “Big Will and Little Will” with one saw either has a gay son married to a guy with the same name, or a husband who wants a saw and a son who is going to glare at her all week. “Really, mom? I’m supposed to share Dad’s present and I don’t get one of my own?”

  • Mark

    I must confess. I LOVE my local Ace Hardware. I am constantly needing parts and pieces that nobody else carries…like a #43 drill bit and a 4-40 tap. Or .125 x .875 roll springs. Metric? They got it. Home depot? nope. Lowes? nope. Ace? Yep.

    AND! You can actually find somebody that works there! Usually as soon as you walk in the door! It’s not just ‘hello’….. It’s ‘what can I help you find?’ ! ! !

    On the down side – their website sucks.

    • safari

      We have an Ace Hardware just outside of town that has everything. I don’t think they’ve ever inventoried. If I’m looking for some ’70s tech, I can find it there.

      • Mark

        But…it is kinda nice to shop a store where a screw is a screw is a screw…. not to mention the nuts, threaded balls, plunge routers, joiners… Set me free!

    • For the years I lived in Seattle, it was always a fun thing for me to spend a day going to lunch at an outdoor Thai restaurant and then walking next door to an old and small Ace Hardware store that seemed like a mom and pop operation that in addition to the standard parts and tools, carried all sorts of wonderful little tchotchkes, seasonal decorations and unueual kitchen utensils. Then I’d walk across the street to a independent bookstore, and then down to sit by the lake and watch shirtless men. Here in Arizona, the local Ace store is the size of a K-Mart and doesn’t have any personal touches.

  • Ford4WD

    I think it means that she got the gift for her son and the gift CARD for the son-in-law.

    • JoeMyGod

      Could be. But the ad is titled “Two Names, One Gift”…..

      • sdnative1958

        The customer came in with the intention of buying one gift, but because of the promo (the card) the customer can now cross off two names.

    • Mark…you’re killing our fantasy.

      • Robincho

        So Debbie Downer and Captain Buzzkill DID have a kid…

    • Cousin Bleh

      It’s actually a gift for one person: her son AND son-in-law. She lives in Mississippi where that’s common.

      • MaryOGrady

        Ah, yes– a region where the family trees do not branch. (A neurologist friend deliberately located to a totally awful place in East Texas so he could study the neurological effects of recessive genes. Thankfully he’s an hour and a half from Dallas and its airport.)

    • Lee Clinkscales

      I agree. There is no gay subtext here for me. It’s understandably sexist in that only men would use tools, but it’s not offensive in that way. She is just crossing off two men in her family.

    • Gigi

      I prefer to believe she was referring to her son and his partner.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Maybe I’ve been watching too many horror movies.

  • edrex

    first xmas i was dating my (now) hubs i bought him a tasteful diamond stud for his pierced ear (don’t judge, it was the early 90’s). he thanked me and promptly exchanged it for a cheaper zirconium and used the difference to buy an electric sander. i actually found that charming and after all these years that sander was a much better addition to my hubby. and i came to learn that he loses shit all the time, so the diamond would have disappeared within a year.

    • Mark

      I don’t know. Hanging a sander from your ear is a bit “tim the tool guy” πŸ™‚

      • edrex

        we have an old house. it works for us.

        • Gery WeißschΓ€del

          Fetching AND utile. Well done.

    • CharlestonDave

      Bling AND sawdust? He’s a keeper!

      • edrex


    • Jerry

      It’s almost like O. Henry’s “Gift of the Magi”.

  • Mark

    You suppose there is any chance that if you go in single….and buy one gift…..that maybe, just maybe they have some available husbands in a back room?

    • Stogiebear

      In my experience, backrooms are where most available husbands are to be found.

      • nocadrummer

        Just don’t tell his spouse!

      • MaryOGrady

        That and highway rest areas, and city parks. (Sorry. I could not resist.)

  • Acronym Jim

    Personally, I saw this as a cutting pun.

    • Natty Enquirer

      That was sharp of you.

    • Mark

      circular saws should not be used for circumcisions…… just saying…..

      • grada3784

        That would be an ouchie.

  • caphillprof

    Back in the golden age, our local hardware store had a clerk who would lure men into a closet . . . , and a good time was had by all!

    • usorthem3

      Nuts and Bolts πŸ™‚

      • Bob Conti

        See! They CAN fit together!

    • Gigi

      There was a cute, flamboyant guy who worked at my local convenience store, in the town of 15,000 where I grew up. When he’d catch me looking at the gay porn magazines behind the counter, which was every time I was in, he’d give me a knowing smile and wag his finger at me. I’d turn red and want to die, but I’d be back in a few days later.

  • justmeeeee

    Oh please.

  • greenmanTN

    The year my dad gave me a router for christmas is when I knew I’d earned his respect.

    • Lakeview Bob

      That is such a sweet memory.

      • greenmanTN

        In a way, yes. He had a whole woodworking shop in the barn, table saw, band saw, drill press, lathe, so I did learn how to use all of that, but god forbid he ask you for a tool and you hand him the wrong one or he could get really pissy about it!

        But he was a good man and I miss him. People always seem to be surprised that, yes, I know woodworking.

        A table I made with a mosaic top.

        • JCF

          Nice! You’re very talented greenman.

          Fecking Disqus! I’ve hit post 3 times on this comment, and counting…

          ETA: it ending up being 5 times.

    • Gigi

      Thanks for sharing.

  • dcurlee

    I’ve seen several commercials lately with married couples or the subtle insinuation. I can hardly wait to see all the heads exploding at OMM

  • djfinance
    • tomfromthenews

      “Homicidal”! (Or is this the ax she tells Tina to bring to her?)

      • RNegron

        it’s the former.

  • tomfromthenews

    Well, she’s only buying ONE item for the TWO people she mentions. (I know, she’ll get a gift card, too, but still I can hope.)

  • usorthem3

    The 35 MOM’s will be screaming in 3,2,1

    • Oh’behr

      Or the atypical .5 Moms and their .3 suburban kids with .25 dogs and .45 cats.
      Horror, no mention is made of their 0.0 husbands.

  • kevin000

    The ad makes it clear that the reason some purchases cover two people is because those purchases come with a gift card that can be given to someone else. So it’s unclear whether the son and son-in-law are a couple. But it’s still a bit nice to have us included ambiguously.

    • Bob Conti

      Yeah, I think it’s more two separate people than a couple. But that won’t mean One Million (aka one handful of) Shrews won’t go all ballistic.

      • Leo Tallant

        Yes, and due to the fact that this is so ambiguous Ace can just tell OMM “Well, that’s not what we meant”.

    • I think that if it was the intention of the ad agency to mean two men not a couple they would have written something like “that takes care of both my son and uncle Harry…”

  • Chuck

    The ad states that one gift covers 2 people so it has to be a married gay couple she’s referring to.

  • MaryOGrady

    I saw that! I prefer to think it was a nod to marriage equality, although the ambiguity is there.

  • WilloSF

    Yeah, to me it sounded like she was going to dismember their bodies. But I may be a little dark this morning.

  • Timothy W.

    Off topic of this commercial, but ACE Hardware bans sales to water protectors at standing rock. Just.. leaving that there.

  • Baltimatt

    Now if she had gotten the circular saw for her daughter and daughter-in-law …

    • Rt1583

      Sawzall would be better suited. It can be repurposed for other things.

  • Gerry Fisher

    I love my local ACE hardware.

  • kirtanloorii

    Son and son-in-law are sharing one gift. They totally shower together too. Just sayin’.

  • EqualityForAll

    Ace Hardware in Hillcrest, San Diego. The gayest hardware store on the planet. I’m sure this ad is a tip in our direction!

    • Fatimacchidester

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      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • Piona O.

    β€œThis takes care of my son AND my son-in-law.” Not necessarily…maybe she was contemplating multiple murder and dismemberment

  • Ice Tea

    The son gets the power tool; the son-in-law gets the gift card. READ THE SIGNS.