Idiocracy

Miami’s ABC affiliate reports: Two individuals have been taken into custody following an incident at a Southwest Miami-Dade day care, where they allegedly caused a panic by brandishing rifles in the vicinity of the day care center. Miguel Ruiz and Estrella Pereira are accused of removing two rifles from the trunk of a Corvette in the Devon Aire Kiddy College’s …

Ars Technica reports: The Thermonator, what Throwflame bills as “the first-ever flamethrower-wielding robot dog” is now available for purchase. The price? $9,420. It features a one-hour battery, a 30-foot flame-throwing range, and Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connectivity for remote control through a smartphone. It also includes a LIDAR sensor for mapping and obstacle avoidance, laser sighting, and first-person view (FPV) navigation …

The Louisiana Illuminator reports: The Louisiana House voted 55-46 this week to ban the use of the word “free” when referring to government benefits, products or services, though similar descriptions such as “provided at no cost” or “complimentary” would still be permissible. “It’s a bill that I’ve nicknamed my ‘Don’t Say Free’ bill,” said Rep. Beryl Amedée, R-Schriever, sponsor of …

Mediaite reports: A woman on an autograph line shouted to former President Donald Trump to “Sign my baby’s forehead!” as others in the crowd similarly encouraged him to “Sign the baby!” Fans gathered for at least an hour before Trump landed in Atlanta, Georgia. Microphones caught bits and pieces of what Trump said and some of the crowd responding. At …

“What she’s doing is much different than what Matt Gaetz is doing. She didn’t make it privileged, so it’s not up for a vote. And the one thing I’ve always found about Marjorie is she’s a very serious legislator that deals with policy. “And the best way to deal with anyone like that is sit down and talk to them. …

Law & Crime reports: The Volusia County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday arrested 25-year-old Brad Markey-Perez after he allegedly shot his pal by mistake, authorities said. Deputies found the victim suffering from a gunshot wound to the jaw. Markey-Perez told deputies he and the victim like to have “drills” where they “practice with each other the importance of being vigilant of …

Heartland Signal reports: While arguing against a proposal for safe storage requirements for firearms, Minnesota state Sen. Warren Limmer (R-Maple Grove) contended that rural citizens need guns readily available to deal with cows. “You even walk too close to a cow, and it’ll take you down and trample you into dust,” Limmer said. “Fumbling around with a lock while a …

Dallas’s ABC affiliate reports: Before a Dallas Stars hockey game at the American Airlines Center last week, fans were met by an ordinary, eager-looking guy wearing a TCU ballcap and a shirt that read ‘Literally Anybody Else 2024’ by the steps of PNC Plaza. His mission? Impossible. But the sentiment driving it all? Wholly relatable, sympathetic, and engaging to many …

The Bleacher Report reports: Texas Tech defensive back Tyler Owens is considered one of the fastest prospects in the 2024 NFL draft class, and some of his beliefs make him stand out from the rest of the pack even more. While speaking to reporters at the NFL combine on Thursday, Owens revealed that he doesn’t “believe in space” or “other …

The New York Post reports: Kellogg’s CEO Gary Pilnick advised shoppers chalking up more of their paychecks to soaring grocery bills than they have in the past three decades to just eat cereal instead. “The cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure,” Pilnickan said in an interview …

The Christian Post reports: Former Hillsong Church leader Brian Houston claims his X account was hacked after the account tweeted the words “ladies and girls kissing,” drawing scrutiny from social media users. The post generated reactions among social media users who were voicing their opinions on the post, with some guessing that it could have been a query for an …

The right wing Townhall reports: A trucker who went viral for saying he would refuse to drive into the Big Apple in protest over former President Trump getting hit with a $355 million fine in his fraud case has reversed course after he says he was being “misrepresented” as a leader of a movement. In a viral video posted by …

NBC News reports: Sen, Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., danced around his interest in launching a third-party presidential bid here Thursday, but he endorsed a potential running mate if he does. “Hypothetically, if I was picking my running mate, really who I would ask right now is Mitt Romney,” Manchin said, identifying the Republican senator from Utah. “Third party run, everything is …

Los Angeles’s ABC affiliate reports: A couple whose botched gender reveal sparked the deadly El Dorado Fire in 2020 has agreed to a plea deal that includes jail time, community service and nearly $1.8 million in restitution, officials announced Friday. The El Dorado Fire burned through nearly 23,000 acres in the Inland Empire in the fall of 2020, destroying some …

The Idaho Statesman reports: An Idaho lawmaker wants to expand a law that bans cannibalism over fears about a rise in human composting. Rep. Heather Scott, R-Blanchard, introduced a bill Thursday to expand the state’s cannibalism ban and told a legislative committee that she’s worried about the possibility that people are eating other people. “This is going to be normalized …

The Texas Observer reports: The Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) recently arrested two right-wing bloggers riding in a caravan near Eagle Pass after finding what law enforcement described as a plastic bag containing a “white powdery substance,” marijuana, and THC edibles in their Mercedes SUV, which also reeked of cannabis, according to a police report. Celeste April Sparks and …

TMZ reports: Conservatives are up in arms over Netflix’s depiction of Alexander The Great as a gay man in their new docuseries despite a long-standing belief that the dude was definitely bi. The “End Wokeness” X account — widely known in right-wing circles — took offense to ATG, played by Buck Braithwaite, passionately kissing his pal/ potential lover Hephaestion early …

Reuters reports: U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg on Monday said human drivers must pay attention at all times after videos emerged of people driving Teslas while wearing what appeared to be Apple’s recently released Vision Pro headset. Buttigieg responded on X to a video that had more than 24 million views of a Tesla driver who appeared to be gesturing …

Mediaite reports: The Trumpworld freakout over Taylor Swift now includes Trump attorney Alina Habba suggesting the world needs fewer women like Swift — and more like Alina Habba. A Twitter/X user posted a photo of Habba and one of Swift, and wrote “Who thinks this country needs a lot more women like Alina Habba, and a lot less like Taylor …

Politico reports: The Capitol Visitor’s Center has reported Rep. Rich McCormick to the House sergeant at arms, according to an email reviewed by POLITICO, accusing him of “unsafe actions” while on a tour of the Capitol’s dome Tuesday and doing pull-ups on railings suspended hundreds of feet above the ground. The Georgia Republican went beyond a posted sign reading “no …