Betsy DeVos Grades Her First Year: Solid B+ To A-

The Detroit News reports:

This month marks the first full year that Michigan native Betsy DeVos has held her job as U.S. education secretary. Her opponents still can’t believe that she has the role. Just last week, leaders of the top teachers unions attempted to drop off 80,000 “report cards” for DeVos, in a publicity stunt. No surprise — she got mostly “F”s.

But DeVos gives herself a much better grade. “I would say a solid B+ to an A-,” she told me in an interview this week, which covered the highlights of the past year and where she wants to the take the department in 2018. “There’s room for improvement.”

  • Gustav2

    Calvinists always think well of themselves.

  • yes b’y
  • RemusL

    Show us the report card, Betsy. How did you arrive at that grade for yourself? What are your criteria? You’re an “educator”. Show us the work.

    • Gustav2

      She forgot to show us her work, so she gets a F

    • Barry William Teske

      Most importantly, did any men have any input?

    • Uncle Mark

      She bought her position from Trump. You want her to show WORK, too ?!!

    • McSwagg

      She can’t. She still hasn’t found the pencils.

  • bkmn
  • PickyPecker
  • Lizard

    I know I said I’d turn it off, but…I’m stuck in an office blaring Fox News as it slaveringly covers CPAC. Listening to them talking about Parkland is driving me fucking insane.

    “How does your bill make our schools safe?”
    “Well, there are a myriad of ways we can do that…”
    Spoiler alert: none of his “ways” is BANNING THE FUCKING GUNS. Mental health, arming teachers, FBI failed, blah blah fucking blah.

    • M Jackson

      My sympathies. Can you find two sharp pencils you can plunge into both ears?

      • Lizard

        I quite rely on my ears. I’m not that desperate.


        • Would they complain if you used ear plugs?

  • Jean-Marc in Canada
  • Moebym of the Returners

    And that, folks, is why we don’t let kids grade their own work in school. We’d probably all be straight-A students if that were the case.

    • MusicBear88

      Or those of us who are extremely self-critical who would never give ourselves an A if there was even one mistake…

  • Kevin Andrews

    Sick Scamway Queen is as disgusting a Gilded Feces as the Shitgibbon who appointed it. This is one of the primary targets to remove to Make America Great Again. This Fascist Zionist bitch is lower than whale shit in the Bahamian Trench.

  • Rex

    She’s grading on the “my boss is a dumbass” curve.

  • Reality.Bites

    How many students have been murdered in schools under her watch?

    • charemor

      Has she made any comment on the Florida shooting?

  • JWC

    So much foe self aggrandization I would have led ft it as a F- But then she is a Trumpian

  • Michael R
  • Boreal
    • Uncle Mark

      The white, pointy hat doubles as part of her KKK outfit.

  • Bad Tom

    DeVos graded herself on a curve. Grade inflation! SAD!

    • When I was a grad TA, I would have gotten more honest grades than this one by letting my students grade themselves.

  • Capritaur

    An education secretary who is complacent in getting a B+.

    • McSwagg

      Yeah, I’d a thought she’d made it past the second letter of the alphabet by now. She must be ‘slow’.

  • Dave F.

    We would need to add at least 50 new letters after Z to give her the grade she deserves.

  • Barry William Teske

    In the real world we don’t get to grade ourselves.
    In the selfishly wealthy world, you get to pay for your grades.
    In the nuanced world of HATE, only your bitter overlords grade you.
    In the alt-world, you get to gun everyone down and consider it a pass.
    Which one does Betty DeVos belong to?

    HINT: Its a ‘trick’ question.
    Trick who you say?

  • bkmn

    Getting ready for the next election.

    • Joe in PA

      Yeah, I just saw that over on RawStory. You can only imagine the goon they will install to replace him. 🙁

      • Rex

        They probably won’t replace him.

        • Joe in PA

          Yeah, they don’t need that dumb-old agency anyway!

      • MusicBear88

        Boris Teapartinskij.

      • M Jackson

        His name is Александр.

    • Wisterley

      I swear that it’s not just Trump. The GOP is looking to Putin to get re-elected.

    • Uncle Mark

      I’d beg the UN to help oversee our elections…seeing how the Trump regime has turned our gov’t into a banana republic

    • zhera

      I don’t think there will be a next election.

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        I’ve had that fear. The GOP wants Russia to guarantee results to their satisfaction, but will howl publicly about the terrible voter fraud caused by the libruls and the Messicans and the Mooslems and Soros and Obummer and Hillary’s Death Squads that they think it’s necessary to put the 2018 election on “hold.”

  • Treant

    I for Incomplete, which is the kind way of saying that her brain never showed up on the job.

    But, of course, having no brain, that’s impossible.

    • Robincho

      Yeah. That’s what we call a “sequitur” of the “non” variety…

  • Judas Peckerwood

    There’s a reason that subpar students aren’t allowed to grade themselves.

    • McSwagg

      In trump-golf, subpar is goodly.

  • Blake J Butler
  • ajtaucher

    She forgot to show us her work, so she gets a F

    • northern_neighbour

      I’d like to put in a minority recommendation that she simply get a big fat ZERO as in #FAIL

  • Devon Rodriguez
  • PickyPecker
    • KCMC
      • kanehau

        Wow… I’ve got to ask – where in the hell do you find a picture like that?

        • Make sure search filters are off, they are on by default.

        • DoctorDJ

          Ez. 23:20.

          • Jefe5084

            is that a biblical reference? /s

          • DoctorDJ

            Yes, you heathen.
            Look it up.

          • Jefe5084

            no. if i touch a bible or even look at one from afar i have a seizure. Not for me.

        • KCMC

          Google hot gay centaur and hold on.

      • KevInPDX

        Those are very human looking… peni. I mean if you know horses their probe is shaped different. I’m not complaining. I get it a blend of the best of each species.

        • witch

          Having owned geldings you are right, for good health you need to clean their penises and when the boys saw The Bucket let’s just say they were happy campers

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        These have to be photoshopped, right?

        • KCMC

          All best fantasies are

        • eddiebeskeddie

          yes, photoshopped, they’re not really that tan.

      • Jon

        Is there any other kind of centaur?

    • northern_neighbour

      I take complete Umbridge …. surely this is put up just as a cheap meme to mock her 50’s style varnished wig.

    • Ore Carmi

      What is this a reference to? Google isn’t being helpful.

      • Keroleen

        It’s a Harry Potter reference. That’s Dolores Umbridge with DeVos’s face pasted on. Ms. Umbridge was a corrupt bureaucrat with no educational experience and highly prejudicial opinions who got put in charge of Hogwarts and conducted herself as one would expect. Her exit from the main plotline involved centaurs. I’d say it’s a fair comparison.

        • Ore Carmi

          Ah, thanks!

          Where are our centaurs?

  • The_Wretched

    home schooled self reporting

  • Moebym of the Returners

    OT: Dem Underground has a collection of cartoons from Europe concerning school shootings in the US:

  • Jay George

    And who else in the school system gets to grade themselves? Nobody, that’s who.

  • hdtex
  • PickyPecker
  • Uncle Mark

    Oh, Betsy Wetsy, we all would have graded ourselves an A- in school if we could, but the teachers are the ones in your case, as well as ours, best equipped to decide the appropriate grade. You still have an F, no matter how hard you attempt to turn it into an A. Here’s hoping for a “See me” from Mueller, too

  • anne marie in philly

    howsabout an F because she is fucking scared to visit a school without a bodyguard, she wants to end programs for disabled kids, she wants to end programs for LGBTQ kids, she wants to set up jeebus schools. and because she is a fucking twatwaffle, she gets an F-!

    • northern_neighbour

      She already had F- , but did not learn from her mistake. F Quadruple MINUS, plus the walk of shame where she gets pelted with rotten tomatoes.

      • anne marie in philly

        and rotten eggs!

  • Thorn Spike

    That’s some curve she’s grading on.

  • Harveyrabbit
    • Halou

      No doubt a few years from now the ruling regime will reintroduce literacy tests as a prerequisite for registering to vote. And of course such a test will be tailored to include things taught in private schools attended predominantly by white evangelicals, and to include things outside of the public school curriculum… just like the “good old days” before civil rights.

      • Harveyrabbit
        • Andymac3

          Three of these girls got pregnant during this photoshoot.

          • Jay Silversmith

            Two of the others fell into the fish pond after smokin crack.

          • Paula Key

            three of them – said, “Fuck these stupid femme clothes – where are my jeans and where is my girlfriend/lover/?

        • geoffalnutt

          I saw “pron” and for that – I’m strictly ‘gloves off’.

          • Harveyrabbit

            Even latex?

        • ted-

          I’m sorry, I read “porn”

          My mind is in the gutter 🙁

      • Andymac3

        The first rule of new etiquette is if you have to ask, then you’ve failed.

  • Bambino

    Sure, the education system let the students grade themselves. I think I might just issue a few doctorate degrees to myself. Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!

    • AmeriCanadian

      I want to give myself my own evaluation at work. Because it will be absolutely glowing, I will then be entitled to a raise! Yay. Yay!

      • Joe in PA

        Years ago…we had to provide our own evals (really we did). As a joke, I wrote the most GLOWING review of my self…knowing that my boss would re-write. Well, I’ll be damned…he left it in! I didn’t get a raise…but it was fun to see it with everyones signature on it. 🙂

        • northern_neighbour

          Kudos Joe! Mazel Tov, and other words of praise!

          Your boss agreed, and let you do his work for him, … what a grinch though … no raise!

      • Bambino

        A raise, extra weeks of vacation, office with a window, a secretary that fetch coffee and lunch, and a chauffeured car. Nothing too over the top. Something I deserve 😛

        • McSwagg

          What? No intern to pick up you dry cleaning?

  • Bluto
    • I think she’d get a “T” grade in the Harry Potter grading system.

  • bkmn
    • April

      I have a feeling they will allow Trans folks already in the military to remain but keep out any new ones.

      • Halou

        You can stay, but Y’all-Qaeda recruits and the military chaplains who radicalise them will be at liberty to bully you to the point of suicide.

  • jimbo65
  • FAEN

    Really? REALLY?

  • Bambino

    I doubt she can sell her own Amway shit to reach the Direct Distributor level. Let alone accomplishing anything that require a real education.

    • Andymac3

      God, I forgot she was from the Amway pimp family. If pyramid schemes are illegal (they are), then why wasn’t Amway illegal?

  • Prost Seattle

    There must not be any Asians to blow the grading curve.

  • April

    Talk about grading on a curve…

    • kanehau

      X * 0

  • Halou

    What a state public education is in, that the people being tested are allowed to decide their own grades?

  • Anastasia Beaverhousen
  • Bambino

    I bet she gave herself an A+ dodging the protesters blocking her entrance into a school.

    • Halou

      She will give her mercenary brother an A+ for “protecting schools” once Trump passes a law and/or an executive order allowing for tooled up teaching staff. The contracts for which will inevitably fall on those who are a part of Trump’s inner circle.

      • Bambino

        She get bonus points for defending the students from the bears.

  • Ninja0980

    B+ for bitch.

    • Halou

      Extra bitchy, or negative asshole?

    • Hey, us nasty bitches don’t want to be lumped in with that trash-tier human being.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    I was thinking more of a F-

  • justme

    More like BS..

  • boatboy_srq

    Taking a page from a classmate’s tales of her A-levels:

    Efficacy: F
    Advancing US public education: O*
    Representing the best in education: F
    Accountability: F


    Perhaps she should take the hint.

    * For those unfamiliar with A level grading, an O is given when a student shows no proficiency with the material higher than O level equivalency, which is the exam level below A level. It’s a bit like telling a high school graduate s/he reads at a 5th grade level, except that it’s official.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    I need BD to do my annual employee eval.

  • DaveMiller135

    If you grade on an inverse exponential curve.

  • greenmanTN

    I grade her a solid C yoU Next Tuesday.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Parents and teachers rate her a solid F. Can stand for failing or fuck off. Your choice.

  • Hank
  • sfbob

    Solid F.

    • Ann Kah

      No, she has done her part in Making America Stupid Again. This administration depends upon it.

  • dcurlee

    This administration lives in an alternative universe It’s easy to give good grades when you do nothing

  • Henry Auvil

    Because Marie Antoinette DeVos knows more than all those teachers who’ve spent their careers in the trenches and classrooms, and not on their private yachts. In the words of the great Kendrick Lamar, “Bitch, be humble.”

  • CB

    Grade inflation is endemic in our system.

  • kevin000

    Classic Dunning–Kruger effect.

  • bzrd

    F is for feckless,
    Betsy DeVoid who lacks strength of character or initiative, walking in her worthless shoes of incompetence which can only be expected from a ne’er-do-well born from a good-for-nothing family. May your fall to the furthest fathoms of the furnace below be your swift finish.

  • kladinvt

    AWWW…didn’t she get to PROFITEER as much as she’d planned for?

  • violamateo

    I wonder if she can spell and define “DELUSIONAL”.

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

    Oh really. I haven’t heard much about her since her first day when she wandered off looking for pencils and paper.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    God, I hate her whole fucking family so hard.

  • Ann Kah

    Oh, Michigan NATIVE… I thought you said Michigan naïve.

  • Paula Key

    Mrs. Devos – you are a billionaire and a Christian. So, you don’t need NRA money. But, I would appeal to that Christian part of you – say NO to the NRA. Either your God is Called Jesus – or Trump and the NRA, As Jesus said, “You cannot serve two masters.” you choice – your soul.

  • red-diaper-baby 1942

    I didn’t know you’re supposed to grade your own performance. I wish I’d known that in school and college!

  • David in Tucson

    How about F-minus?

  • Ore Carmi

    I can’t stand her annoying smile.

  • Derf
  • Professor Barnhardt

    Just a Chevrolet? That’s a big step down from your Citroën DS, don’t you think?

  • CJAS

    Department of Education’s civil rights division saw a significant increase in the number of racial harassment cases. If that’s the goal, then B+ to A- makes sense.