Trump’s Cabinet Attends Weekly Bible Study

Pat Robertson’s CBN News reports:

A spiritual awakening is underway at the White House. Some of the most powerful people in America have been gathering weekly to learn more about God’s Word, and this Trump Cabinet Bible study is making history. They’ve been called the most evangelical Cabinet in history – men and women who don’t mince words when it comes to where they stand on God and the Bible.

Ralph Drollinger of Capitol Ministries told CBN News, “These are godly individuals that God has risen to a position of prominence in our culture.” They’re all handpicked by President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence. Health Secretary Tom Price, Energy Secretary Rick Perry, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, Agriculture Secretary Sunny Perdue, and CIA Director Mike Pompeo are just a few of the regulars.

“It’s the best Bible study that I’ve ever taught in my life. They are so teachable; they’re so noble; they’re so learned,” Drollinger said. America’s top cop, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, also attends the study. “He’ll (Jeff Sessions) go out the same day I teach him something and I’ll see him do it on camera and I just think, ‘Wow, these guys are faithful, available and teachable and they’re at Bible study every week they’re in town,'” Drollinger said.

  • Gustav2

    Oh dear gawd.

  • JWC

    Holy smokin Bibble

    • Gustav2

      Holy Crap!

      • Tawreos

        Same thing

  • Do Something Nice

    Religious regime.

  • HZ81

    Cult’s gotta cult.

  • kcken
  • safari

    And yet they are all back (or front) stabbers playing each other. I guess that is what evangelicism is.

    • JT

      Rethug Jesus didn’t say, “Turn the other cheek.” He said, “Turn the other’s back and stab it.”

    • jerry

      It’s what happens eventually with all extremist beliefs (including the GOP)…when there’s no readily available person from the demonized opposition to scream about, they turn their fire upon themselves because, in the end, no one can actually live up to their ideals.

      • David in Tucson

        I just had a sudden flashback to reading “The Scarlet Letter” many years ago.

  • Tawreos

    I wonder what happened to make them fear losing the Evangelicals?

    • TampaDink

      Every transgender service member did not immediately march to the stockade.

  • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

    Could this Administration be any more rapturous?

    • Tawreos

      I wish they would be “raptured”, all of them.

      • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

        Watch it happen, them be left behind, and they’ll say, “But, we were deceived!”

      • Octavio

        Instead we’re all being raptored.

    • Karl Dubhe

      Rupturous. As in ruptured, torn apart from within. Bursting like a rotting whale’s corpse, which has obscenely swollen with gases and spreads the liquid mess everywhere as it explodes.

      Rupturous.

  • JWC

    Hippocracy in Technicolor and sterophonic sound

    • coram nobis

      “Hypocrisy” is what you may have in mind. Hippocracy is where we’re governed by a hippopotamus, and that is what we have already.

  • coram nobis

    And for today’s text, we will turn to Psalm 146:3. “Put not your trust in princes.”

  • JT

    As if Drumpf believes any of that shit.

    • Chucktech

      He’s really our first atheist president.*

      *Assuming Obama was not.

  • Boreal
    • Chucktech

      Well, DUH! If the sheep can’t see us being all pious and gawdly and stuff, what good is being all pious and gawdly and stuff?

      • Teresarjordon

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    • Todd20036

      My magical invisible friend told me to do the nasty, bigoted things I wanted to do anyway, but felt enough guilt that I had to ask my magical invisible friend about it.

    • Dom Saunders
    • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

      45’s fave: “Yet she multiplied her harlotries, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the harlot in the land of Egypt. 20″She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses. 21″Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom because of the breasts of your youth.…

      • whollyfool

        To be fair, that is my favorite too.

        • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

          We should all be remembered such!

    • lucadrian

      Jesus would dislike them a little less if they had knelt right on the concrete.

      • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

        Muslim prayer rugs

    • Ken M

      I’ll bet the groans as they knelt and stood were louder than any prayer they uttered.

      • Stogiebear

        And far more genuine.

    • Paula

      The ones that get down like to pray are the ones that concern me. They need to be watched.

    • Larry in Oklahoma

      Those cheap ass bitches (I mean the men too) are kneeling on $1 knee pads. No, wait, Dollar Tree pads DO come in pleasant colors.

    • Snarkaholic

      They just wanted an excuse to hold another man’s hand (in public) without outing themselves!

    • BudClark

      They just look SILLY!

    • Kruhn

      My favorite verse in the Bible. Plus isn’t there one about it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to go to the Kingdom of Heaven. A lot of this lot are filthy abs and rich.

  • Cody in CT

    This is just nauseating to read.

  • Boreal
    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      It’s the new and improved administration. Now, with even more normal!

  • bkmn

    And I bet I can count the number of times Trump has attended on my closed fist.

  • Chucktech

    They are so teachable…

    So pliable. So malleable. So god addled. Doesn’t that just chill the spine.

    • Oh, Parker

      With access to nuclear weapons.

      • chris james

        ‘Hello, this is the White House answering service. We are not taking your calls at this time because we are all on our knees in prayer to Jesus Christ our Lord. Please call back later.”
        “Jesus? Well, this is General So and So with Central Command and the North Koreans have launched several ICBM’s at the U.S….I suppose you better be praying. If you need me I’ll be in my underground bunker…assholes.”

      • Vista-Cruiser

        Thanks to Democrats who no longer bother to vote in elections.

    • StSean

      and yet seem to put none of the good news into practice…

  • tbj5

    They’re whoring themselves out to the Dominionists in preparation for the child sex trafficking bombshell.

    It won’t work. Not on enough people to keep his support above 30%

  • kelven

    Yes, Bilbe study for grifters. They sit around and try to find all the old testament passages that match their hateful agenda even if they need to take them out of context and change the literal to metaphorical and the metaphorical to the literal. Jebus wept.

  • Will Parkinson

    Which he sleeps through.

  • Ernest Endevor

    The most corrupt, ignorant, pandering bunch of incompetents ever to shame our government. Figures they’re evangelicals.

  • SLK in SF

    They really put the white in “whited sepulchres”

  • Natty Enquirer

    Uh-huh. In other news, the end is nigh.

    • TuuxKabin

      Thanx all giver gods and goddesses and the good lard.

  • TK
  • Chris H.

    I think you mean Pat Roberson’s CBN News Joe. I hope Pat doesn’t have a stake in CBS News.

  • MikeBx2

    They probably attend that “Bible study” about as often as most Evangelicals attend church. Which means, not nearly as often as they claim.

  • Jonathan Smith
  • Harveyrabbit
  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    Have they discussed the idea of changing the name of the country to “Gilead” yet?

  • Judas Peckerwood

    “’These are godly individuals that God has risen to a position of prominence in our culture.’ They’re all handpicked by President Donald Trump…”

    How does The Onion stay in business?

  • Michael

    “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” – Anne Lamott

  • Rex

    Does this mean crucifixion is in the future for their leader?

    • TuuxKabin

      Be more fun to stone him.

      • Judas Peckerwood

        Better yet, let’s get stoned and watch the crucifixion.

        • TuuxKabin

          Okay. With a pile of stones for throwing to add to it? Tho my aim would probably be a bit off.

          • Ken M

            Just put him in the cave and roll the rock over the entrance. Resurrection is unlikely

  • Rex

    The most vulgar and self centered president has the most evangelical cabinet.
    Look, I know Jesus, he’s a friend of mine, and Trump is no Jesus.

  • mpatreyu

    Theocracy’s a’comin

    • KCMC

      Hide your heart, girl.

      • mpatreyu

        Sung to the tune of Eli’s comin? I think I saw what you did

  • andrew

    Any rational person reading through the Old Testament would clearly see that Yahweh, the tribal god of the ancient Israelites, is the cruelest and most depraved mythological deity ever created by the primitive minds of men. That Christians and Jews hold up this mythological deity as “Our Heavenly Father” is the greatest spin in human history.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Such a spiritual crisis they must face. “Do I follow the nasty, racist misogynist deity in the sky, or the one in the White House golf cart?”

    • Karl Dubhe

      One of. The other gods are as bad.

      They were all created by men who were badly butthurt and wanted revenge on those who fucked them over.

  • FAEN

    Grifters gonna grift.

  • Lazycrockett

    Well Religion is the original grifter.

  • Sam_Handwich
  • royinhell

    God chose THESE people to lead? That’s all the proof you need that there is no god.

    • Never said which God. Loki, Coyote, Satan, I’m sure there’s shit loads more of “em that deal in this level of “special”.

  • boobert

    Hypocrisy at it’s finest !

  • TampaDink

    Is that what they’re calling the weekly gathering of sycophants who are required, one by one, to say what they adore most about their lard & savior, Hair Furor?

    • David Walker

      They’re always afraid it’s their last supper. Anybody want 30 pieces of silver?

      • TampaDink

        Is that what they’re charging for cake & one scoop of ice cream?

  • Michael Hampton

    Not Trump though. He doesn’t believe in that crap.

    • Karl Dubhe

      He’s thinking “whatever works for me.”

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    “They’re all handpicked henpecked by President Donald Trump . . . “

  • ByronK

    God raised them, he didn’t risen them. Christ, if you’re going to be batshit crazy, at least speak proper English.

  • shellback

    When all of them are finally convicted and executed, it’s gonna take a lot of Bon Ami to clean up Washington.

  • FAEN
  • Talisman

    A safe space in the dumpster?

    60 minutes of gawd-talk to avoid the latest round of tweets.

  • Macbill

    Jesus, save us from your followers.

  • There is a typo at the beginning of the article that says “CBS News” instead of “CBN News”.

  • Kevin Perez

    I wonder is Steve Bannon sucks his own cock while at the prayer meeting.

    • yes b’y

      hahaha

    • Ken M

      Naw..he’s under the table practicing.

  • AmeriCanadian

    Please tell me this was lifted from The Onion!

  • Stev84

    The whole idea of a “bible study” is such a stupid concept

  • Matt

    Of course they do. Gotta keep the stupid as stupid as possible. E-van-gullibles.

  • Ken M

    As long as it’s not forced, tax funded, or taking them from their responsibilities, it is their right to practice their faith as they see fit.

    • AmeriCanadian

      So no /sarcasm necessary?

    • Keroleen

      True, but that doesn’t stop me from being unnerved by the fact that a pack of Dominionists and true-believer Rapture cheerleaders have access to the nuclear codes.

      • Ken M

        Believe me when I say…we’re in the same boat.

    • jsmukg

      I refer you to Sinclair Lewis on ‘when fascism comes to America.’ It’s here.

  • 2patricius2

    And yet #45 spends his weekends at his golf courses, not at church.

  • The_Wretched

    And I used to rail about Ashcroft holding weekly prayer rallies.

    What a shitshow.

    Evangelicals make up ~26% of the population. 1/4 are ramming their religion down the the 3/4’s throat.

    • Vista-Cruiser

      That’s because the 1/4 that’s evangelical votes in every single election; the remaining 3/4, not so much.

  • Mike C

    They’re all handpicked by President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence

  • Ken M

    11th Commandment “Thou shall not give a Fuck” They all got that one right.

  • will

    Has anyone read Christian Nation: a Novel (2013) by Frederic C Rich? I enjoyed it but thought it was too far fetched. Not any more.

    • KnownDonorDad

      I’ve been meaning to read Heinlein’s “If This Goes On—,” but I’m worried it’ll hit too close to home.

  • Gregory B

    What the actual fuck…

  • bambinoitaliano
  • Karl Dubhe

    If a group of evil bastards can read said book without been whacked by the god the book claims to be about…

    Then said god is just as evil as the bastards that read it. Not to mention the long dead evil bastards who wrote all of those ‘Holy’ books.

    • Ken M

      Like the gays burning in hell, everything in the Bible comes when God sees fit. Rarely right away btw.

  • JWC

    he is like a musical director with several groups of singers singing a “:round” He goes to eacg group and gets them started. Once they have it , he moves to the next and so on Today the evangelicals next the White supremistd then…

  • j.martindale

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9U_5QxaNwQo/UMur01XcRtI/AAAAAAAAA18/4BmNM_7hS8Q/s400/Prayer-graphic-FB-atheist-response.jpg

    Instead of f*cking around with bronze age fables, how about doing your jobs.

  • Ken M

    This might explain all the threats of…..um…how do you pluralize apocalypse? : )

  • Tor

    They’s goddam better be doing it on their own time. I don’t want any of my church/state separated tax dollars paying their salaries while doing this.

  • Friday

    Funny how the Christofascists give full-throated support to this corrupt regime but never consider that these Trumpence liars they cover for could also be just plain lying to *them* with their promises of power and ‘cultural prominence.’

    Actually, no, by the way, they in fact represent a dwindling fringe of the culture and a sea of degradation of it, they’re only as prominent as a boil on America’s face.

  • Dom Saunders

    Clearly all that bible study isn’t helping them with shit since they go right back to trying to screw poorer people and minorities over the moment they say “Amen.” They don’t need to go to church. They just need to go.

  • Ken M

    “But it’s all true!” Noah didn’t write the Ark tale…think about it?

  • jimbo65

    Seriously? Does the pussy grabber in chief attend? How’s this not a violation of separation of church and state? Oh that’s right, we have a maniacal hypocrite, supported by the even bigger hypocritical religious evangelicals. Spit on them all.

  • KnownDonorDad

    They’ve been called the most evangelical Cabinet in history

    And this is WITHOUT Ted mothereffing Cruz being elected.

  • Jonathan Smith
  • Thorn Spike

    Um, Establishment Clause, anyone?

  • Sporkfighter

    Just imagine Trump sitting through an hour of Bible study…an hour of people talking about someone who isn’t him. He’s certainly never come back.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Of course they did…but nope, they’re not at all plotting to make America a theocracy, it’s all just nonsense.

  • Keith D Plane

    sounds like the place where they dole out the Kool-Aid

  • Hank

    Hair Drumpf is one of the BIGGEST Hedonists ever. How can they even think gives a rat’s ass!!!

  • smokes70
  • Halou

    “They are so teachable”
    Or. . They are gullible as all fuck, with no idea what their jobs are or how to do them, they will take ‘tips’ from anybody who sounds like they know something regardless of whether or not they do know anything.

    Rick Perry, for example, accepted his nomination to the role of Energy Secretary on the assumption that that was the agency responsible for environmental regulations, he thought would get to make the oil barons happy. But he ended up being given the responsibility of managing the nation’s nuclear arsenal instead. He couldn’t walk back his words fast enough once he found out.
    “they’re so learned” , like hell they are.

  • This seems like an argument for leaving a useless dolt/phony Christian in place post-impeachment instead of kicking DT out and replacing him with a full-on theocrat like Pence.

    Drollinger used the word “teachable” twice to let us all know how incredibly teachable the cabinet members are. This means they are not teachable.

    • Jerry Kott

      nor are they trainable.

  • j.martindale

    Never seen a more vulgar, mean spirited, selfish, greedy bunch of crooks and mobsters in government. Proof positive that religion is a vice.

    • dr tod

      I am reminded of that worship service in Guys and Dolls.

    • Friday

      Their religion is, anyway, …it’s always the same ones from the same basic ideology, isn’t it?

  • ETownCanuck

    So this weekly bible study is taxpayer funded???…..

  • Halou

    The only Bible study a politician needs, as provided by President Josiah Bartlet.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1-ip47WYWc

    • whollyfool

      Sorkin really knew how to write a scene. There were so many powerful moments in WW.

      Now if you’ll excuse me CJ’s doing “The Jackal”….

    • Always wanted Bartlet for President. Great scene.

  • GayOldLady
    • BudClark

      “The Good Bomb Made Them All” … hymn in one of the “Planet of the Apes” movies.”

  • netxtown

    ‘Wow, these guys are faithful, available and teachable’

    uh…I think he means they are trainable….ya know like seals and balls, dogs and frisbees, cats and yarn…..

  • JaniceInToronto

    Well -that’s- a major disaster…

  • Ken M

    I guess God don’t think that the skinny bill was worth it either. : ).

  • Xuuths

    Maybe they should review “Thou shalt not lie”, “Thou shalt not steal”, or “Thou shalt not commit adultery” just as a start.

  • How about a weekly Civics study group instead. I’m sure there’s a Professor at GW or American University who would be willing to donate their time.

  • Ginger Snap

    This is what should be sharing the shit out if sane Americans.

  • Ken M

    If it leads to misquotes from the Bible in his tweets…OMG power to him.

  • The Professor

    OMFG.

  • OdieDenCO

    too bad the didn’t go with a weekly civics study

  • Galvestonian

    Just when you think it can’t possibly get any worst or stupider … you blink and it all turns to shit !

  • Michael R

    The Bible would bore Trump because it never mentions him .

    • Jonathan Smith

      what? the Anti-Christ is not mentioned ONCE!?!?!??!

      • edrex

        yeah. trump’s annoyed that he doesn’t show up until the last chapter.

    • PeterC

      He is taking the part of Caesar.

  • Galvestonian

    It’s time for the “Spanish Inquisition” !!!

  • Remember when Obama tried to have weekly Qur’an study sessions for his cabinet?

  • Cuberly

    WH holding bible study for gawd’s chosen.
    WH threatens to not pay health insurance subsidies for the poor in retaliation for the failure of TrumpCare.

    Today’s GOP!

  • teedofftaxpayer

    They’re praying that God isn’t paying attention to the shit they’re pulling.

    • They’re pulling it because they don’t believe it to begin with.

  • Michael R
  • canoebum

    Perhaps they should go over The Beatitudes in next week’s meeting. The Goodness part of their “religion” seems to be getting too little emphasis.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    “When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” Sinclair Lewis

    • -M-

      Time to update the verb tenses.

  • infmom

    “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”
    –some guy named Yeshua

  • Pip

    I used to go every Sunday afternoon to “bible study” too. Actually used the bible once at one of them. We had a wobbly table that needed balancing so we could play Jenga-drinks.

  • Stogiebear

    Just in case it hasn’t been remarked yet (and even if it has):

    H O L Y
    S H I T !

  • rednekokie

    AHA! So that’s it!! I knew there had to be a real reason that this “cabinet” and other assorted creatures were so stupid and unwilling to reason or even try – on even the most basic subjects.
    Now, we know!!!

  • TexasBoy

    They need to pray harder.

  • Maggie 4NoH8

    Nauseating.

  • sword

    Well…Trump already talk ‘in tongues’ and there are really a lot of snakes slithering around the WH…for the snake handlers.

    • Gianni

      Trump tells a lot of jokes in ‘tongues’, too. That’s why we need so many interpreters to ‘splain them to us. That way, there’s no misunderstanding the jokes.

  • Gianni

    Godly individuals – yes and they keep telling themselves that so they can easily believe God is guiding their intentions and decisions. Makes all the sense in the world.

  • This is just too scary. It’s got to be fake news. Yeah, that’s what it is.

  • Jon Doh

    Who knew god was such a fuck up at being a leader?

  • BudClark

    May Cthulhu, Rastafarius, Apep, Kuk, Nephthys,Khonsu, the Greek “Theoi Khthonioi,” and ALL the gods ATTEND to tRUMP’s MADNESS … before they spit-roast and eat him (chuckle).

  • Piet

    Ah, yes. The dominionists at work, out in public.

  • Gregory Peterson

    Fred Clark of the Slacktivist blog has an interesting take on this.

    “Drollinger’s own understanding of the Bible seems unburdened by his having spent any time actually reading that book.”

    Fred Clark has read that book.

    ““Mike Pence … dresses right,” Drollinger says, “like it says Joseph cleaned himself up before he went to stand before the Pharaoh.” Because that’s what the story of Joseph is all about — the proper haircut and tie selection. God wants us to look our best when we’re serving Pharaoh and enabling him to confiscate all property and enslave his people.”

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2017/07/31/zedekiah-always-gets-horny-king-ahab/

  • So, the inner circle has been attending bible study? I guess they haven’t gotten to the part where it says, “Thou shalt not lie”, and the parable of the Good Samaritan.

  • ‘Til Tuesday

    What they need is a weekly class on the US Constitution, not the Bible!

  • Rob Spangler

    Surprise, surprise, surprise! Mr. bible study leader says being gay is a sin and an abomination. Quote 2005. Yeah he is a thumping, delusional, dick!!