Alex Jones Delivers Unhinged Rant About George Soros And Chobani After Losing Child Custody Case [VIDEO]

Raw Story reports:

Infowars founder Alex Jones called a press conference on Friday afternoon to lash out at reporters for their coverage of his child custody case and topped it off by ranting about Chobani yogurt and “human animal chimeras.”

Thursday night an Austin judge awarded custody of Jones’s children to his wife after more than a week of bizarre testimony about Jones’s personal habits and his conspiracy website persona.

With a gag order lifted, the Infowars pitchman reverted back to form on Friday, attacking the press before spinning off in odd directions to the amusement of reporters. After accusing reporters of being financed by billionaire George Soros, Jones said his trial was a milestone.

  • bkmn
    • kcken

      Upvote for the Pfftth at the end 🙂

    • MonochromeMouse

      Sorry we’re late everyone, Bob had diarrhea.

  • kcken
  • David L. Caster

    Obviously the judge made the correct ruling.

  • popebuck1

    As was posted earlier, someone needs to follow him around for the rest of his life, screaming that his kids never existed and were paid actors.

    • Droz

      Everyone knows that anybody claiming 9/11 was an inside job have been sterilized long ago.

    • lewiespearman


  • bkmn

    I take it the picture at the top of the post is him lying about how big Trump’s dick is again.

  • kcken

    But remember ONLY straight people represent positive parenting. You gays are just to “sick” — The religious right (Drudge, Fox, Breitbart, Infowars, NOM,FOF) …

  • grada3784

    Can this guy be committed? Before he does further harm to himself or others?

    • Todd20036

      Too late. Between his obesity and his steroid use, he’s taken decades off of his life.

    • MBear

      Maybe he already has been committed.

    • SoCalGal20

      I expect him to have an anyeurism or massive coronary during one of his rants and just keel over.

  • coram nobis

    That reminds me: need to add yogurt to my shopping list.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    I bet the court is thinking “Yup, we made the right freaking decision.”

  • fastlanestranger

    Charmed, I’m sure!

  • MonochromeMouse


    • Avenger280

      I’m just going to shut it down. You win the Internet for today LOL

    • Nic Peterson

      You forgot the bath salts chaser, but overall spot on. Well done MM.

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        • Nic Peterson

          Be gone, troll

    • KCMC
    • CottonBlimp

      I couldn’t help reading this in Alex Jones’ voice. Not sure if that’s because it’s in all caps or because of the cocaine-meth snorting emote you started with.

      • MonochromeMouse

        I originally wrote it without any spaces to match how Jones doesn’t pause between sentences when he’s ranting, but it was completely unreadable that way.

        • David Walker

          Sometimes concessions must be made by sane people in order to accurately portray those not as fortunate.

          • ZhyKitty

            Speaking of those not as fortunate, can you imagine having that nutcase for a dad? Those poor kids!

    • ChrisInKansas

      No, no. That makes far too much sense for Alex Jones. 🙄

    • Gerry Fisher

      Ya know…I was struggling to make sense of the quotes I’ve read from him during the past few weeks, but…you’ve explained it quite nicely. Thank ya!

    • Dejerrity Mycron

      Zira! Put Taylor back in his cage before Dr. Zaius sees you.

    • Raja Mitchell

      Lol, that was excellent!!! Good job!!!

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    If the kids haven’t been totally brainwashed, someday they will look at all this video and shake their heads and say “No, I’m not related to that Alex Jones. I’m a different Jones.”

  • Rick

    No shirt-shredding?

  • MikeBx2

    Imagine being a journalist coming into work on Friday morning and being told you have to cover the Alex Jones news conference.

    • safari

      Would you get fired of congratulated for shooting him with a supersoaker of soapy water?

    • Canadian Observer

      There are reasons so many journalists are heavy drinkers.

  • kcken

    I love how they label their drug induced rants (or when they take an ass kicking), as “XXX destroys XXX” … always good for a laugh.

  • safari

    I’ve always been chronically tired, but it feels I haven’t been able to wake up at all since the end of last year.

    • AmeriCanadian

      Count yourself lucky. The current reality is “unreal”.

    • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

      You’re better off not. Sleep tight, bedbugs, etc, etc,…

      • safari

        If I could sleep, that’d be nice.

  • worstcultever

    I can’t believe he hasn’t keeled over from sheer hate-mania.

    (Then again, when he does, a la Breitbart, his cult will just keep chugging along and gain even more prominence.)

  • another_steve

    As my mama would say, “He’s laughing all the way to the bank.”

  • safari

    O/T: WTF — EPA website removes climate science site from public view after two decades


    The Environmental Protection Agency announced Friday evening that its website would be “undergoing changes” to better represent the new direction the agency is taking, triggering the removal of several agency websites containing detailed climate data and scientific information.

    One of the websites that appeared to be gone had been cited to challenge statements made by the EPA’s new administrator, Scott Pruitt. Another provided detailed information on the previous administration’s Clean Power Plan, including fact sheets about greenhouse gas emissions on the state and local levels and how different demographic groups were affected by such emissions.

    The changes came less than 24 hours before thousands of protesters were set to march in Washington and around the country in support of political action to push back against the Trump administration’s rollbacks of former president Barack Obama’s climate policies.

    “As EPA renews its commitment to human health and clean air, land, and water, our website needs to reflect the views of the leadership of the agency,” J.P. Freire, the agency’s associate administrator for public affairs, said in a statement. “We want to eliminate confusion by removing outdated language first and making room to discuss how we’re protecting the environment and human health by partnering with states and working within the law.”

    The agency also said it would carefully archive pages from the past administration.

    The change was approved by Pruitt, according to an individual familiar with the matter who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss internal deliberations, to avoid a conflict between the site’s content and the policies the administration is now pursuing.

    The staffer described the process of reviewing the site as “a work in progress, but we can’t have information which contradicts the actions we have taken in the last two months,” adding that Pruitt’s aides had “found a number of instances of that so far” while surveying the site.

    • We — the American taxpayers — OWN that information & data. And the Trumpites are stealing it from us.

      • safari

        They’ll argue they are not taking it away. But what they are doing is making it harder to access. That they can and will do.

        • I don’t care what their arguments are. It is what it is: Theft and wanton destruction of taxpayer-owned intellectual property.

      • Tulle Christensen

        Last January EPA people sent copies of all the data to many Universities it is safe from being deleted.

        • Dazzer

          They sent the information to universities around the world – not just American ones. The staf at the EPA wanted to cover all bases.

    • ChrisMorley

      You are very welcome to use the UK government’s climate change pages as if they are yours, until you all recover the US government’s wits.

      • David Walker

        I envy your optimism.

    • cleos_mom

      As EPA renews its commitment to human health and clean air, land, and water

      Whenever a business or bureaucratic entity utters/prints the phrase “we remain committed to Fillintheblank”, you can know one thing for sure — Fillintheblank is toast. The wording is sadly familiar.

  • ultragreen

    What woman would marry a kook like this? He’s even too crazy to be appointed to a position in the Trump administration.

  • Bluto
  • Avenger280

    I read that during the trial, he was extremely fidgety and nervous-acting. I bet it took every bit of his willpower (and his lawyer’s threats) to keep from jumping out of his seat and launching into one of his lunatic tirades right there in the courtroom. Too bad. I would have paid money to have seen it.

  • glass
    • Gerry Fisher

      “Look at meeee…look at ME!!!”

  • Natty Enquirer

    I raise a glass of lithium to you, sir!

    • safari

      I’d rather a syringe of Thorazine.

      • ultragreen

        I’d rather a mouth gag and handcuffs.

        • Ben in Oakland

          I’d rather Ryan Reynolds in a submissive mood.

  • Jones is a man in dire need of mandatory psychiatric incarceration.

    • After all the damage he’s done if anyone deserves to be a homeless nut it’s him.

    • David Walker

      With 45 as his bunkie.

  • LovesIrony
  • ultragreen

    I’m disappointed. He forgot to wear his wrinkled aluminum cap today.

  • Halou

    “You lost, get over it.”

    Feels good, doesn’t it?

  • MikeBx2

    OT or is it? Now more than ever, laughter is the best medicine…

    • DoctorDJ
      • canoebum

        That’s supposed to read “Johnny Walker Black, the Breakfast of Champions”. At least according to Christopher Hitchens. I’d be willing to take his word for it.

        • Oscarlating Wildely

          I adore Hitchens but that choice of Scotch is blasphemy. Even the swill of anything on Islay is better.

          • hudson11

            How about Johny Walker Blue? By my uneducated palette, it was pretty good. Probably wasted on me though.

          • LydiRae

            What’s your favorite Scotch under $40 a bottle? (Yes I know that’s low but I’m poor)

        • DoctorDJ


          But since his drinking may well have increased his odds of getting the esophageal cancer that ultimately killed him, I prefer not to celebrate this.

          (Plus he’s wrong. I keep my CC in the freezer and have it neat.)

    • Avenger280

      I love the fuck out of Aunt Crabby LOL


    And to think we live in a country that has people who loyally watch and believe this nut. Even the fucking POTUS.

  • SoCalGal20
    • KarenAtFOH

      The fuck?

    • David Walker

      Not to worry. The sanctions should be rescinded by the May 25 special election, so it’s no problem.

    • Cattleya1

      Is the whole fucking rethuglican party in cahoots with the Russians?

    • Jukesgrrl

      This is the one who took visiting guest Donald Trump, Jr., out to blast prairie dogs with rifles for amusement. If you’re from the east and you’ve never seen a prairie dog, they are similar to meerkats, full-grown only about a foot long and 1.5 pounds. They live in family groups and are very playful. Other than digging holes in the ground, they do no harm. It’s not against the law to shoot them in Montana, but it’s considered unethical this time of year which is their mating season. Females might be pregnant and if they have already given birth, their pups will die from starvation. Republicans and cruelty … what is it with that combination?

      • prixator

        No empathy. Even for humans.

  • incredulous
    • David L. Caster

      Love it when dogs bite and growl squirted water.

  • tonyg

    Does whatever a SpiderGoat does
    Can he swing from a web?
    No he can’t, he’s a goat
    Watch out
    Watch out for SpiderGoat

  • Xiao Ai: The Social Gadfly

    So you lost your kids didya Alex. Meh. They’re way better off without you. Shame that you still get to abuse them at all.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Actually, they weren’t taken away. He still has rights to see them. She was just awarded primary custody. Prior to this he had primary custody and the right to decide when she saw them (five times last year). Let’s hope he didn’t succeed in brainwashing them against their mother while they were living with him. But I suspect she might have a real problem on her hands. I hope she has the support she needs.

  • TexasBoy

    What do you call a crazy man who acts like he is on a major drug trip? A GOP pundit.

    • Ben in Oakland

      So apparently, Miley is just as crazy as he ever was. Or is he getting worse? or better?

      • Some people are going around saying that they heard rumors about him acting all weird in Bible school and getting addicted to Adderall.

  • Ben in Oakland

    I have it on great authorityhat Jones isn’t crazy, he’s just a performance artist.

  • ByronK

    Bat. Shit. Crazy. 

  • Ragnar Lothbrok
  • ByronK

    “They had rhesus monkeys you could buy in a bazaar that glow in the dark and are part jellyfish.” Ok then. (backing away slowly in case a quick movement makes him panic).

  • Michael Hampton

    Isn’t Chobani still suing him for libel? This can’t help that.

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    The folks at couldn’t out-absurd the original.

  • fuzzybits
  • Robincho

    If for any reason you find yourself needing to approach Alex Jones, merely look left as you jump right. This will baffle the simple creature…

  • Jacob

    This douche has gotten more mainstream coverage, and therefore more listeners so more ad $$, than in his entire life; he’s basically a Kartrashian. This is the world we live in now.

  • Happy_Housewife

    So he called a press conference to bitch about the press? And they attended?

    This is what’s wrong with the media.

    • M Jackson

      All my hands are clapping.

  • The hubris is hilarious. I’ve met people like this but everyone could see them for what they were. Paranoid blowhards. But in Jones’s case millions of Americans take him seriously which makes him dangerous. But the idea that George Soros has any fucks to give about his custody case is funny.

  • leastyebejudged

    So long as the general consensus in the USA is that acting out mental illness in public is good for the country, we will continue to have just more of the same.

  • M Jackson

    Why he wasn’t awarded custody of those children is a real headscratcher.

  • tomfromthenews

    All I can think of is the time when my parents took me to the monkey house at the zoo when I was little and I watched in fascinated horror as a chimp masturbated in front of amused kids and horrified parents.

  • Wayne

    I dreamed (dreamt? Not sure!) the other night Alex Jones, Milo Yammeropolous (that ain’t no typo), & Caitlyn Jenner all volunteered for the next space shuttle and after the flight were never heard from again. Unfortunately, then I woke up.

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      I’d cram a few others on that shuttle: the Coultergeist, Rush Blimpbaugh, Antoinette Perkins, Franklin Graham Crackers, Louis Gohmert Piles, to name a handful.

      (I didn’t post an animated pic of the Challenger explosion, in respect to the heroes who were on board, but I was sorely tempted.)

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Having been married to him, I suspect his wife is no piece of cake either. One wonders what the kids will grow into.

  • mattdocmartin

    Yup. Stable and perfectly safe with kids.

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    And that thing was given press credential by 45’s White House.

  • MirrorMan

    “When’s Daddy coming home?”
    “When he learns to take his medication properly, honey.”
    “Ok, Mommy. It’s 3:00. Can we go outside and spray vinegar at the chemtrails? Daddy always let us.”

  • dcurlee

    Thank god those kids were taken from him

    • Stubenville

      Even the worst orphanage would be better for the kids than being around this whack job.

      • dcurlee

        So true. Scary to think how messed up they already are

  • Paula Key

    This site is bizarre. It’s not unusual to see comments that invoke using force to install the wall. They have not an idea of how the wall is going to run through the middle of the Rio Grande. One guy wants to build a canal, similar to Panama and run shipping through to pay for the wall. LOL. One woman suggested that the liberals should have empathy for Trump. I asked if she had empathy for the 20-25 million that could be kicked off medical coverage, for the seniors that need Meals on Wheels. No response.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “human animal chimeras”
    Actually, chimeras are going to save lives by making organ transplants less likely to reject. Really though, what’s even more fascinating is micro-chimeras where part of the DNA from the fetus is absorbed by the mother.

  • Janetjjohnson

    My last paycheck was $22500 for working 12 hours a week online.Start earning $97/hour by working online from your home for few hours each day with GOOGLE… Get regular payments on weekly basis… All you need is a computer, internet connection and a litte free time… Read more here
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  • SilasMarner

    I’m not gonna watch 30 min. of the asshole rant and rave just because he’s a media whore. I can’t decide if he’s just a sensationalist or an actual insane nutjob. Maybe a combination of both. Who knows? SMH

  • Marti386

    But it’s just a character he plays, dontchaknow?

  • ‘L’

  • goofy_joe

    If there is magic inside Chobani yogurt, I’m going out to buy some right now!

  • Matt

    This guy is hilarious. Glad he’s in stand-up.

  • Terry

    He has JOINT custody, he didn’t exactly LOSE the case

  • lewiespearman

    is his favourite movie, Alienation?

  • lewiespearman

    Playing semantical games? Is that a new album title from Radiohead?

  • crankyd

    According to Wikipedia, Alex Jones is only 39 years old. And I thought I was aging poorly. He looks like an exploding blood vessel.