Pat Robertson Yesterday: Mark My Words, The Lord Will Give Trump The Votes To Pass Trumpcare [VIDEO]

Brian Tashman reports at Right Wing Watch:

Yesterday, Pat Robertson kicked off “The 700 Club” by declaring that the American Health Care Act, the Republican bill to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, “is going to pass” and “they’re going to give Trump a victory.”

“It’s going to go through the Senate, and we’re all going to rejoice that we’re going to pay less on health care,” he said, despite the fact that if enacted, most people would see their premiums skyrocket.

Robertson said that “he knew that the Lord was going to give Trump victory” and that God is using the president to do great things. “They’re going to get it,” he said. “They’re going to give it to the president. Mark my word: it will pass. They will get those extra votes. It will go through. They’re going to work together to give us tremendous health care.”

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    So much for the Lord.

  • ColoMtnWoman

    Gee, Pat… I guess you better call God back up. I think he gave you some bad information.

    • Christopher

      Long past time that god called him…home.

  • Rocco Gibraltar

    God must care more about poor people than you motherfucker.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    LOL- Trump is bitchin’ about how this is all the democrats fault.

    • Lazycrockett

      He has no clue what he is saying. None.

      • RoFaWh

        Yeppers! I like the remark by one commentator, that Drumpf isn’t so much a liar as he is a straightforward b.s. artist who says whatever flits through his mind regardless of its truth. He does this so much, he can’t remember everything he’s said, so we get the repeated failures of his many promises.

    • Highmoremotel

      That’s Donald’s way of saying the Dems won this round.

  • BlindBill

    So send me your money ..

    • David


  • kcken
    • Ron Robertson

      Love it. Totally my kind of humor!

      • Fur Hunter

        And I thought MY post was ugly. Geez. These other ones are fantastic!!! HEHEHEHHEHE.

    • Uncle Mark

      Poor addle-minded Pat. Unfortunately, no one named Jesus was voted into the Republican House…and therefore was unable to vote on the American-destroying “health” bill. In fact, anyone with that name will probably be found on the other side of that wall that Orange Nero wants to erect.

      • John

        Orange Nero? Do we know for certain the a-hole owns a fiddle??? Or is he just really good at fiddling around?

        Wait. What is that? Does anyone else smell smoke???

  • Yalma Cuder-Zicci

    The Lord says NO.

    • Todd20036

      Little Bethlehem

  • Eric Lewis

    Nothing like a “Compassionate Christian”

    • b

      I love it when their crappy masks fall off.

    • Christian1234567

      That seems to be an oxymoron more often than not, doesn’t it?

  • Lazycrockett
    • Christian1234567

      Pence is an epic failure as a human being, as he embraces supremacy.

      • Donnavcochran

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      • Monicaarizo

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    • Steverino

      First time in a long time without that smug little smirk on his face.

    • Paul David

      Yes, Melissa, let’s take a moment.

      Then let us all agree on what a piece of shit Pence is in oh, so many ways.

    • John

      tRump, pence, ryan all 3 an epic waste of sperm and egg. Momma Nature does, occasionally, churn out undesirable results.

    • Roman238

      Awww, poor little Muck Punce. He’ll have to flagellate himself now…twenty lashes.

  • Michael White

    His dead jew on a stick failed him again.

  • kelven

    Oh Pat, maybe God was just telling you lil’ Donnie Drumpf was going to pass gas today. Better check your hearing aid. BTW, you’re late for your dirt nap.

    • David L. Caster

      Very late for his dirt nap.

  • Lazycrockett
  • Ragnar Lothbrok
  • David
  • William


  • Lazycrockett

    Drumpf said he would repeal and replace on day 1.

    • M Jackson

      He didn’t let on about what was going to happen on day 63.

  • Lazycrockett

    He’s not going to be fun to be around this weekend.

  • Do Something Nice

    Nope. God doesn’t like bad medicine.

  • MB
    • MT YVR

      Pat: No… really. Tell me! I’ve no idea. Where the hell am I?

    • Stogiebear


    • David Walker

      “…and boy did it taste good.”

    • M Jackson
      • Fur Hunter

        Where do you find these things? I love them??? HEHEHEHEHE.

        • M Jackson

          I find them here! Enjoy.

    • John

      hey fu*k-face…never mind where that finger’s been. The question you should be asking is, “Who’s that figure in the black, hooded, robe holding a scythe behind you?”

  • Sam_Handwich

    i wish someone would tell him he’s dead

    • sadoldguy

      Expect pat to be around for a while, he has ObamaCare.

      • Christopher

        Only the good die young.

        Therefore he’s probably immortal.

  • ZhyKitty

    This horrible lying ass crypt-keeper lookalike needs to shut the fuck up and get back in his coffin.

    • Christopher

      Even his coffin wants nothing to do with him. That’s why we’re stuck with him.

      • ZhyKitty


      • Pamela Curry

        No, he made the deal with Satan to stay here and leaf people astray.

  • MikeBx2

    Results of religious belief and prayer are about the same as wishing in a wishing well. 50/50 at best. But somehow they get away with it.

  • JWC

    Hey windbag wrong again

  • Ron Robertson

    One day it will be recognized that people who hear these voices need psychiatric help and not TV dynasties.

  • AtticusP
    • ted-

      This summed up exactly how I feel about this crypt keeper of a heartless creature from the depths of Trump’s asshole.

  • TK

    Hey Pat … if the Lord has told you you’re gonna be around for a while longer, I’d be worried. Dipshit.

  • Ernest Endevor

    Like he’s ever had to buy his own health insurance in his life.

  • ceeenbee

    That fucking coot isn’t dead yet?

    • Todd20036

      He might be, actually.

    • The_Wretched

      He died in 2008. That’s a withered flesh suit on animitronics.

  • Gustav2


  • Professor Barnhardt
  • sfjohn

    would it just die already…?

  • Jeffg166

    Who is his deity Loki?

  • Mark

    and maybe, patty- that wasn’t “god” on the line….

  • Snarkaholic

    Hmmm…now WHAT did the bible say about false prophets?

  • sadoldguy

    Dog told me it was going to fail.
    My imaginary friend is better than your imaginary friend.

  • Sashineb
  • Djurisk
  • Tomcat

    Crack addict religious nut.

  • Randy503

    His words are duly marked.

  • Lazycrockett
    • PickyPecker

      Implode…explode. Make up your tiny orange mind, shitgibbon.

    • RoFaWh

      The trump entity clearly doesn’t understand the distinction between “implode” and “explode”. That man is so ignorant it blows me away. Did he actually go to school somewhere?

      • Mike_in_the_Tundra

        Maybe he was home schooled.

        • AnotherJosh

          Hey now, I resemble that remark!

          Also, I know the difference between “implode” and “explode.” I may not English that good, but I did get an engineering degree in college, so I understand basic physics. 😀

      • AnotherJosh

        Clearly, he attended Trump U.

        • Cattleya1

          Only place he could buy passing marks!

          • McSwagg

            He WAS the teacher’s favorite student.

      • Raja Mitchell

        I think that he used his daddy’s money to buy his high school diploma and college degree. He doesn’t have the attention span or the critical thinking skills to actually succeed in college courses by himself…

        • John

          Now be kind. I’ve seen his IQ test results and he’s ranked slightly below average room temerature.

          • McSwagg

            Fahrenheit or Celsius?

      • John

        He was one of those kids who always got and “A” but never cracked a book, a product of the best education bribe money can buy. And now we have betsy wetsy devoss to insure we have many more non-book learnin’ people. I kin feel murrika gittin’ batter ever sekond…cain’t y’all?

    • McSwagg

      It must be that time of day when a stopped clock is right. When a star goes nova, it first implodes (collapses) then explodes. The implosion vastly increases internal pressure and temperature which triggers a massive nuclear fusion explosion. It’s in this dying explosion that all elements heavier than iron are formed.

  • HZ81

    Lord works in mysterious, fucked up way, Pats.

  • Pat Robertson’s god has no magic powers whatsoever.

  • Tomcat

    And here is an idea for trump. Dismantle our military and with several stages rebuild it. That makes just as much sense as dismantling the ACA and installing new health care in stages over time. Republicans are as dumb as rocks and as greedy as any miser. trump also.

  • Tomcat

    We are still here trump and we will watch your every crooked move.

  • SunsetGay

    Tell you what Pat, I am 100% cool with passing TrumpCare as long as it applies to you and ONLY you.

    All those in favor of TrumpCare for Pat Robertson?

    • Tomcat

      Pat would most likely flourish with trumpcare with the tax breaks for the rich.

  • another_steve

    A very potent Yiddish curse upon his head (plus the Evil Eye, for added efficacy):

    Meshuga zol er vern un arumloyfn.

    (He should go nuts and run around.)

    • RaygunsGoZap

      AMAHL FAROUK! He’s gonna get you by the grey bits.

    • Canadian Observer

      I prefer the one that translates as “He should grow like a turnip (onion), with his head in the ground.”

      • another_steve

        Yes, that’s a particularly vicious one. Reserved for one’s worst enemies. My mama used that one from time to time.

        On a par with wishing that a pregnant woman give birth to a stone.

    • -M-

      Someone already used that one on him.

  • Paul David

    Clearly something is wrong here since Pat Robertson can’t possibly be wrong.


    After all, Jeebus himself is whispering in his ear (and telling him that you need to send him money).

    So, there are likely many, many very good reasons to explain why Pat was, in fact, right.

  • Tomcat

    Pat Roberts is a wackadoodle dandy. Praying for him to go soon to meet his maker.

  • itsjoe618
  • GayOldLady

    We’re still waiting on the Asteroid Strike you predicted in 2014. You kook!!!!

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      No thanks! We dinosaurs have had enough of those !!!

    • Ben in Oakland

      It happened. You were just too crazed on sex and drugs to notice, you heathen.

    • cleos_mom

      And wasn’t Disney World scheduled to be hit by a (maybe) meteor?

      • GayOldLady

        It was, but god canceled that when he found out the gays were having gay day there.

  • Dk6
    • NotAnApologist

      You’re late.

  • M Jackson

    I’m marking your words right now Grampus.

  • Djurisk
  • Charlie

    ole Pat is a prescient one isn’t he?

  • AW

    Guys! I’m starting to think that maybe god doesn’t want the poor to suffer!!

  • M Jackson
  • GayOldLady

    Pat Robertson & Jerry Falwell, WHO IS NOW DEAD, blamed the 911 Attacks on Teh Gays:

    “Just two days after the September 11 attacks, Robertson invited
    Religious Right leader Jerry Falwell onto his program to discuss the
    attacks, which Falwell promptly blamed on “the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle (I was so active it would make your head spin), the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America.” These groups, Falwell claimed, caused God “to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.”

    • another_steve

      Thank you for reminding us that Jerry Falwell is dead.

      I would like to take this opportunity to remind JMG readers that former Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is also dead.

      Very dead.

      Like… totally, stone-cold dead.

  • Mike Rasor

    I mean one would think he’s just making shit up rather than directly communicating with his invisible sky wizard.

    • RoFaWh

      No think to it. We know he’s just “making shit up”.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Why would you think that?

  • Ninja0980

    Clearly the lawd wasn’t listening very well was he?

  • rednekokie

    Hmmm. After 63 attempts at it, do you suppose his vision actually meant 64?

    Hmmm — maybe in another 2000 years. maybe. But I’m not holding my breath.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Robertson: “The Lord Will Give Trump The Votes To Pass Trumpcare.”
    The LaAard: “Sorry, I feel weak, low energy and have no stamina for you nut jobs. You puss-filled whackadoodles are on your own. Good luck!”

  • Jamie Brewer

    Such a great Christian…I’m ready for the rapture..

    • Ben in Oakland

      gawd, that was a great show.

    • another_steve

      My luck, the Rapture will come in the middle of my dinner.

      I hate when that happens.

    • NotAnApologist

      I love Beth Grant. Great cameo.

    • Christopher

      One of the absolute best opening sequences for that show!

      I’m just going to say it…

      “Best. Death. Ever!”

    • OCW

      In case of rapture does anyone have a nice car they could leave me?

  • TK
    • another_steve

      I believe there’s a gif version of that, with a moving finger.

      Please, someone — post it here.

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Josh Duggar: “There you go posting one of my most fevered nightly dreams. …, and i was almost recovered from my sickness! Oh well, back to rehab – again!”

  • Natty Enquirer

    God is obviously keeping Pat alive ’cause He doesn’t want him in either place.

    • CatCope

      Yep! gawd sure in hell doesn’t want this false prophet in his neighborhood & Satan surely doesn’t want HIM!!!

    • Uncle Mark

      My favorite saying is “You’re never going to die; God doesn’t want you, and the devil’s afraid you’ll take over.” (In Pat’s case, I’m pretty sure he’s dead, and the devil is doing a ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ kind of thing with his corpse.)

  • Ben in Oakland

    So if it doesn’t pass, patty, will you finally admit that by “the Lord” you just mean YOUY?

  • RoFaWh

    Just another grifting liar.

  • anne marie in philly

    jeebus must have been out tokin’ in the boys room when the votes were being cast. bwhahahahahahaha! pat lies just like the dump!

  • Paula

    Nasty old SOB! Sure he can call for the act all he wants. It doesn’t affect him. He can use money scammed out of stupid people that fall for his crap to pay for medical care. His marks will be the ones to suffer.

  • M Jackson
  • NotAnApologist

    It’s time to “move on”, Pat.

  • edrex

    consider your words marked, fool.

  • Canadian Observer

    Anyone know of a site that keeps track of Pat’s prophecies… what his win/loss ratio is? I would google it, but I can’t be arsed. BWAHAHAHAHA

  • Lazycrockett
    • TampaDink

      She is so presidential…even if the electoral college failed to do the right thing.

      • Lazycrockett

        and you know she would have worked her ass off to get Single Payer.

        • TampaDink

          Yes, all while being assaulted constantly by the GOP & investigated for her emails & Benghazi!!!!!!!

      • Dreaming Vertebrate

        … just imagine what could have been.

        • TheThruster

          That’s all I keep thinking, even though none of this directly affects me. She totally deserved the win, and the world would have benefited in a positive way. Instead we all have to deal with this shitshow every minute of every hour. I can’t even turn on my danish news channel, without it being about the massive failure, that is your pathetic, fake president. Please make it stop, America!

          • Kruhn

            We’re doing our best here.

          • TheThruster

            I know. And the lowlife morons are working against themselves as well, thank dog!

          • Librarykid

            By Shitshow, were you referring to Pat’s begcast in particular or his type of show in general?

          • Sense_n_Sensibility

            The “Shit Show” is the current state of American politics & the fake president & his robber baron minions.

          • Librarykid

            Well, yes, there is that, too.

    • David Walker

      Right. The moral of the story is activism works. Who showed up at the town hall meetings? People who could separate truth from pig shit. Who wrote, called, emailed, and talked with their reps to try to convince their congress critter what works (ACA) and what wouldn’t (AHCA)? People who knew this was for the 1%, of which most of us are not.

      Activism works, and it doesn’t mean standing out in the cold (or heat) with a sign, although that’s certainly the most visible. This is a sea change in politics, and the banana republicans may now start to understand that. I said “may” because there’s more to come. But hooray for us who did something more than shrugged and sighed. Speaking your mind works.

      • marshlc

        that has become very clear already in this administration. The trouble is that few issues will make so many regular folks mad enough to make some noise – but the ones that do, are going to be important ones.

        I’ve spent most of my adult life in a fairly hostile political environment – I still have not, at the age of 59, ever had the person I voted for get elected, except in municipal government. And I’ve learned that writing letters and making phone calls doesn’t necessarily get you what you want, but it can get some movement, some reworking of the argument. If you’re in a minority, you probably won’t get what you want, but if you make some noise, you can sometimes keep from getting what you really DON’T want, and that’s worth something.

        • Robincho

          For whom did you vote, if not Obama?…

          • marshlc

            I’m not an American.

      • John

        I have been phoning my congress people since January 21. I have been participating in rallies and marches. I feel as if I actually have a voice. I recommend it to everyone. IT FEELS GOOD!

        • David Walker

          It does feel good, doesn’t it? Thank you for pointing that out. And thank you for your dogged activism. It DOES count.

  • Halou

    Democracy. More powerful than god?

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Isn’t it amazing how his non-existent invisible sky daddy always does exactly what he wants, but when he(she?) doesn’t then the lord works in mysterious ways.
    OHHH!!!! OOOGA BOOGA! (Insert speaking in tongues here)

    • EweTaw

      Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho

      • Robincho

        Thx 4 stoppin’ by, Opal…

    • Uncle Mark

      Frankly, I can’t even wrap my mind around a omniscient being talking to the likes of Pat

  • TampaDink

    Crazy old fucker never considered what his white jebus’ stance was on caring for the sick & the poor.

    • Ben in Oakland

      I believe he said,
      “Let them eat cake!”

      • TampaDink

        But he was just kidding.

      • Dreaming Vertebrate

        Awesome, ’cause this little dino really loves CAKE!

        • Ben in Oakland

          but do you like Certified Christian Cake?

      • PickyPecker
        • DumbHairyApe

          Who knew “Fucking” was his middle name????!!!

        • Ben in Oakland

          Does Jesus do chicken right? Nope, that’s his priests.

          Is he finger lickin’ good? Only if you like blood on them.

        • Uncle Mark

          “Savior the flavor.” Make mine extra-Christy. On second on thought, their food keeps coming up on me; I’m gonna eat at Demon Dogs.

          • Robincho

            There’s more than a colonel of truth in your words here…

        • Robincho

          Peter’s pissed, because YOU have just picked the peck! My thanks and congratulations to you, sir. Really. No shit…

    • Rebecca Gardner

      American Jesus only listens to white, male, heterosexuals with a minimum net worth of $100,000,000.00. All others do not exist.

      • TampaDink

        But when he talks back to them (or has his daddy do it) he just makes shit up to fuck with his loyal subjects.

    • kat

      Jesus never did jack for the poor, other than to say “The poor will always be with you.” He was as much of a dick as his followers.

      • TampaDink

        Except for that one time when he ponied up & supplied all of the fish & wine at that wedding.

        • kat

          Cheap publicity stunt. If you truly had the power to feed the poor, why would you do it just once?

          • TampaDink

            True. He was just showing off & upstaging the bride & groom.

  • EweTaw

    As I mentioned in an earlier thread, Pat’s magical powers aren’t working because he’s had his feeding privileges at the local blood bank revoked.

  • Jerry Kott

    Makes you want to go live on a ashram.

  • WitlessProtection

    Does he ever get tired of being so WRONG all the time?

    • WitlessProtection

      And yet grandma still eats cat food every week so she can send him a check…smdh

      • Ben in Oakland

        Tell your grandma to switch to crow. It’s cheaper and more nutricious.

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          But crow is black

          • Ben in Oakland

            Not on the inside.

          • Johnny Wyeknot

            Well, you and I know that.

    • John

      …and you thought they broke the mold. He was the model for tRump and his gang of gangsters

  • PickyPecker
  • righteous mob

    Why won’t this crazy old bastard just die already?

  • Secure

    I really wish Carrie Fisher had outlived this scumbag.

    • Christopher

      2017 has a lot to make up for after the losses we had last year.

      “Hey 2017! I’ve got a few suggestions if you’re listening.”

  • MattPS

    “The Lord will help”, except when he doesn’t….

  • JT

    Robertson, fucked by jeebus.

  • Baby_Raptor

    Of course he won’t bother to think that maybe it not passing was god’s will. Nope, the omniscient, omnipotent god was thwarted by human opinions.

  • RidingTheLine

    Good to see that Pat has not lost his usual, direct-line connection to heaven. Oh, wait. The GOP struck out, again. Well, Pat will have a great line of BS as to how God answered him, anyway.

    • Gianni

      His listeners didn’t pray diligently enough so God figured they just didn’t give a damn. Suck up harder, folks.

  • Richard

    Looks like the lord didn’t get the memo….LOL

  • TexasBoy

    So, Pat did God lie to you?

  • witch

    Guess god didn’t get the message

  • Blackfork

    Every time I see this coot I wonder why Evil incarnate would care to reside in the body of an 85-year-old sack of goat shit.

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      I thought he was much older.

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        Several centuries older

  • KQCA


    God told Pat, “The lord will give trump the votes to piss on Trumpcare.” Patty’s hearing is not so well these days.

    • CatCope

      No, he has one of those “special” hearing aides that only jeebus speaks to you. It’s NOT for everyone, doncha know!

  • Tom (wpg)

    Who’s full of shit, you or your fairy?

  • The poor old fart is off his med again.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Pretty sure his problem is that he never medicated in the first place

    • John

      acid flashbacks maybe????

  • Robert Conner

    Well, Pat, Slacker Jesus Didn’t Come Back again today either. I just don’t know what’s been up with Slacker Jesus these past 19 centuries. He said the meek would inherit the earth, said His followers would be Raptured, said He’d be Right Back. Now the simplest explanation for all these broken promises would be to assume Jesus didn’t know what He was talking about and that you don’t know what you’re talking about either, but we don’t hold Slacker Jesus to any standards of behavior.

    • Homo Erectus

      The primary difference between Pat and Jesus is that Pat is still making money off of Jesus’s rants.

  • EdmondWherever

    “Mark my words, God is going to make sure you spend less on fighting all the diseases he gives you.”

  • popebuck1

    Seems there were more people out there praying for it to fail.

  • OdieDenCO

    you know, back in the day we use to stone false prophets.

    have stones, will travel

    • Robincho

      Let’s talk travel later. Right now, it’s your stones I’m interested in…

  • That_Looks_Delicious
  • Wade Persnippy

    The Lord screwed you Patrice

  • Orly

    Pat who?

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    God works in strange ways, remember?

  • Guy Johnson

    I have one thing to say to Mr. Robertson: read Deuteronomy 18:22. This one verse is why I laugh at him:

    If a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord but the thing does not take place or prove true, it is a word that the Lord has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; do not be frightened by it.

    He’s lucky we don’t stone him…

    • Gianni

      Pat skips over that one when he’s reading his Bible.

    • grada3784

      If he were stoned, he might actually make sense.

  • Richard B

    Here are four words of wisdom for Pat Robertson’s family :
    “Managed Care Facility NOW”

  • Kevin Perez

    You missed it, Pat. You must worship a fake God.

  • Frostbite

    Your deity sucks. lol.

  • Henry Auvil

    Pat Robertson tomorrow: I don’t know why Jeebus told me that yesterday. He was probably testing my faith. Again.

    • Ben in Oakland

      It’s very hard to jesus when your an old fossil that has his head stuck up his ass. too dark to see Jesus.

  • wds

    Poor Blood Diamond/phony strength food Pat … For his claimed Biblical knowledge he seems to have forgotten/ignored the sections about getting ANY part of “God says/God assures me” wrong … let me say it involves a very painful and bloody death – [think rocks] SMH
    “Pay less on healthcare” – um – sure Uncle Pat but getting a lot less – oh wait, with all the money you snag as donations, I’m sure you have amazing insurance.

    • Homo Erectus

      He also seems to have forgotten the parts about taking care of the sick and the widows.

  • Jacob

    Delicious. All of it. Especially Ryan’s incompetence.

  • TheManicMechanic

    I think those marks on your words are skid marks often found in underwear. Likely your own.

  • Doug Blanchard

    The Lord prefers a national health insurance single payer system just like the rest of the developed world. He said so to Congress today.

  • Lindoro Almaviva

    Damn… Guess the Lod was playing with him. So rude

  • TexasBoy

    Psssst…Pat, God just whispered in my ear that all you ministers and televangelists should be relentless in telling your flocks to lobby loudly and publicly and to put the pressure on for an election do over.

  • bkmn

    This is the end of this battle, but the war will go on. Remain vigilant. They are desperate and will get nasty (think of the way NC rammed through HB2). Have your congresscritters contact numbers programmed into your phone.

  • Talisman

    Pat’s word is as imaginary as his god.

  • margaretpoa

    So did the Lord:
    1) ignore you?
    2) fuck up and go out on an all night bender with Satan and sleep late?
    3) do none of the above because he doesn’t exist?

    Enlighten us, Pat.

    • GeoffreyPS

      4) lie to you because it’s funny

      I still vote for #3, but felt the list needed another option.

  • SnowFlake

    Guess the Lord had other plans that he did not share with the old coot.

  • Tom G

    And the godless Trump missed getting the message.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    God rolled his eyes.

    Not today, asshole, he said.

    Instead, he filled Robertson with sudden chest pains and laughed.

  • Daniel Trevallee

    Dear Lord, why isn’t this stupid, grifting old fuck not dead yet??????

  • Homo Erectus

    God musta told him that.

  • Matterdays

    “Mark my word” never seems to end well for the person who uses that phrase.

  • heyjjh

    well, i guess THE LORD lied to brother Pat!!

  • Lee Grupsmith-Pedersen

    Uncle Pat should know that the answer to some prayers can be “NO”.

  • marshlc

    I can understand why the Republican establishment is opposed to the ACA – it means that their friends in the insurance industry will only make tremendous profits, rather than insanely ridiculous profits. And I can understand why the right wing, politically, are opposed – anything that mandates everyone taking a little hit so that nobody gets a big hit is in opposition to their “let the free market sort it out, freedom is more important than working together” philosophy. I might be opposed to these positions, but they make sense – they are consistent with what those groups stand for.

    But I just can’t see why evangelical Christians are opposed. I mean, yeah, yeah, they’re hypocritical grifters who want to see people die, blah blah – but what reasoning do they offer to justify their opposition? Whenever I ask this type of question, what I hear from most of you is, essentially, “because they are evil” which might be the actual operating principle, sure, but can’t be the excuse they offer to the world. What is that excuse?

    Most of the Christians I know are Canadian Catholics, and they are pretty firmly supportive of universal health care. I don’t really know much about evangelism, especially the American variety, except what I see here.

  • Gianni

    His heavenly crystal ball isn’t working too well it seems. How is he handling the news today now that he’s been proven wrong? Apparently, the Lord wasn’t that interested in this bullshit.

    • AnotherJosh

      Maybe he’ll get embarrassed and quit excreting such nonsensical toxic waste out of his mouth hole. j/k lol, that’ll never happen.

    • RoFaWh

      Of course it isn’t working too well.

      What else do you expect from a cheap dollar store knockoff of a Magic 8-Ball?

  • gothambear

    Yes the ‘good Christian’ Pat wants desperately for people to lose their health insurance…that is just surreal.

    • RoFaWh

      Contrast that “every man for himself” attitude with that of the earliest Christians, who held everything in common.

      • grada3784

        That was pre-Paul, when the “as yet un-named Christians who were really still Jews” actually followed what Jesus said to do.

        Paul changed everything, just like a good fifth-columnist would.

  • e’ville_globeguy


  • acde

    Asshole, you were wrong again and your jesus left you sitting high and dry without a thing to refute or rely on. Give it up , loser without and single IQ point

  • fuzzybits
  • theonlyseven
  • Patrick

    Pat thats not god you hear

  • Nick Vasquez

    There’s a special place in hell for this man.

  • Spongebob CrankyPants

    LOL @ Pat.

  • Skeptical_Inquirer

    Every single time I see his picture, he looks more and more like a ghoul. His fans should start wondering what cursed antique he’s using to keep his sorry ass alive.

    • Piona O.

      He looks like Howdy Doody, if Howdy were 98 years old and kept alive by the fluorescent serum from the “Reanimator” movies.

  • Menergy


  • bmoore4026

    The Lord cares more for the downtrodden, it appears, Patsy.

  • Falconlights

    I always knew that Robertson is a considerable fool. This just proves it…again.

    • (Robbee67)

      Funny how these Fake Xtians will support this disgusting excuse for a human being. robertson is just as vile as the fake president. Why doesn’t he just dry up and blow away?

  • JR

    Pat Robertson…is he still almost alive?

  • Piona O.

    Looks like the Lord fucked up.

  • Donnavcochran

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj197d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash197HomeSourceGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj197d:….,…….

    • TampaDink

      Consumer Reports says that your new ride ain’t all that .

  • RJ Bone

    Aw shucks Pat, it looks like god says “no” again.

    Now you can put that on your list next to the blood of the innocent and a working penis.

  • Bob Pattinson

    Why people give credence to this perpendicular corpse is beyond me.

  • BeaverTales

    To be an authority on anything among the ignorant is no special gift. Witch doctors and grifters are nothing more than highly paid bullshit artists.

  • SDG

    PROOF that GOD does NOT exist!

  • He’ll just say he meant in the future, or Trump’s REAL healthcare bill, or some other huckster shit.

  • SilasMarner

    Well, you’re wrong once again you dried up old asshole.

  • Nic Peterson

    Doddering old fool, where is your god now?

  • CharlestonDave

    Pat is slipping. He rarely makes his predictions for the immediate, testable future.

  • Wayne

    How is this wingnut still alive?

  • Igby

    oops. Must have been those witches. “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”


  • D. J.

    Next week – how demons interfered with Gawdly Donnie.

  • Elizabeth Bates

    Spoiled White Right Conservative Christian with the entire life of privilege. All your privilege gain from exploiting your own people, mostly White Right Wing Conservative Christians. It so easy living and using other people money preaching lies.

  • Marides48

    Proof positive that he’s praying to the wrong god. Well, with so many gods out there, it’s an easy mistake to make.

  • Bobbie Arthur

    Maybe if Pat Robertson was a true Christian he would prayed that Repugs had tried to work with Obama to make ACA work so that all had health-care instead they acted devilishly at the expense of the people they serve.

  • John

    Is this as*h*le STILL alive???? Sad!

  • Charles Daniel Christopher

    This gargoyle’s still spouting his sewage? I thought it died long ago!

  • Larry in Oklahoma

    I say unto thee, Pat Robertson, there are false prophets. Looks like you just outed yourself.

  • Fur Hunter

    I long for the day that Pat Robertson keels over and that ignorant, intolerant, uneducated, bigoted old F**K drops dead. The world be a better place for it. Maybe that sounds a little nasty……well….with all the things he has said about us? Payback is a BITCH….ain’t it?

    • McSwagg

      I hope he keels over on live … er, dead, TV.

  • Monicaarizo

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj127d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash127HomeTeamGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj127d:….,……..

  • Gregory In Seattle

    It is long past time that the Bible-thumpers treat this false prophet exactly like their holy book commands they do to false prophets.

  • Scott Carpenter

    I can’t believe that anyone is still listening to old Pat ” The Cryptkeeper ” Robertson anymore !! That fool doesn’t even know what planet he’s on anymore – his mind went bye bye a long time ago !!! It is quite amusing to gear him talk out of his ass though ; intelligent people find him hilarious.

  • kate sarginson

    I guess whatever ‘god’ Robertson thought would mark his words didn’t. My God saved millions from losing their healthcare.

    • Willie Johnson

      Like the man in the Bible that enjoyed his wealth and refused to help others needed the same help in hell and couldn’t get it as bitter Pat Rob will soon find out😂

  • liberalcrusader

    As usual he and is sky wizard are wrong!

  • John Doe

    Ummmmmm, no.

  • ttsmitt

    From his mouth to God’s ??????