REPORT: Melania Won’t Move To The White House So Son Can Continue Attending School In Manhattan

The New York Post reports:

Future First Lady Melania Trump and son Barron will not be moving to the White House after Donald Trump’s inauguration in January, The Post has learned. The president-elect’s 46-year-old wife and their 10-year-old son are staying put at the family’s glitzy Trump Tower penthouse so that Barron can continue attending his Upper West Side private school, sources told The Post.

“Melania is extremely close to Barron, and they have become closer during the campaign,” said a source close to Trump’s transition team. “The campaign has been difficult for Barron, and she is really hoping to keep disruption to a minimum.” Another source said Melania Trump will travel to the White House as needed, but that her primary focus is on Barron.

“Melania is very supportive of her husband and is fully on board of doing everything that’s needed as first lady,” said the second source familiar with the Trump transition. The decision to remain in their Midtown home will increase the security presence around Trump Tower — an effort that will involve both Secret Service and the NYPD, an expert familiar with high-level security told The Post.

  • Rick

    Telecommuting president, part-time first-lady. Just what the country needs! /s

    • stuckinthewoods

      trump shall do it from anywhere convenient for him. He’ll give the Tweet of the Union address when he gets around to it.

      • Gustav2

        Well, Thomas Jefferson did send a letter…/s

      • EweTaw

        LOL! That would be perfect: The Tweet of the Union.

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    And a stroll down Fifth Avenue just became even more of a living, breathing, walking hell.

    • pj

      walking past his ugly building always was

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Predicted in JMG comments yesterday.

    • Treant

      Predicted by pretty much everybody since August. 🙂

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    But hey! Think of all of the money on gold plating that we’re going to save!

    http://www.wackyarchives.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/gold-keyboard-01.jpg

    • Earl

      Ooooo, I want.

      Now, were are those chocolate wrappers and the glue gun?

  • Mark

    I say! Is she quietly inching her way towards an exit?

    • Gustav2

      What is the time requirement on her prenup?

      • Mark

        I hear it’s based on specific events: 3 O’s and a pole dance.

  • RoverSerton

    How long before he puts TRUMP on Airforce 1?

  • we’re still here

    And president pussy grabber is going to be all alone…. what could go wrong.

    • Marc

      The alt-right’s insult du jour is “cuck.” I hope Melanie plays just as much as Donnie does–and gets caught doing so.

      • MonochromeMouse

        I don’t think they have any idea what a Cuckold actually is, I think they just like it cause it sounds mean and is kind of close to the other “C” word that they get banned for saying on most forums.

        • cleos_mom

          I’m betting that a significant portion of Real Americans think that a cuckold is some endangered bird species.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      He’s already asking when the womens’ gymnastics team is gonna show up.

      • Joe in PA

        Some people are saying he wants to move the Miss Teen USA pageant to the East Room.

    • MonochromeMouse

      and when he decides to start grabbing the democrats need to be on him like the republicans were on Bill Clinton

    • GayOldLady

      Not “what could go wrong”, what Will go wrong. And Melania probably doesn’t want to leave her life of luxury and whatever else she’s got going on in Trump Tower.

      • Todd20036

        Don could fuck have of DC, and Melanoma won’t care because a prostitute doesn’t care what her john does, so long as she gets paid.

      • james1200

        Of course Melania has to stay put: Jesus, the studly Mexican houseboy, isn’t going to stay alone at the manse and fuck himself. Well, he could, and we’d all like to watch but Melania got this so we don’t need to worry.

        • Baltimatt

          There he goes whipping out that Mexican thing again.

      • “Newwww York is vere I’d rathah stay!”

        • Snarkaholic

          So I can avoid my husband’s cray!

      • Snarkaholic

        “I’m NOT going to live in the White House…just look at how OLD the furniture is!”

    • Diogenes Onionpants

      Don’t worry, Ivanka will take up the role of First Lady!

      (Sorry, I just threw up a bit.)

      • we’re still here

        Ivanka and the Wanker.

        • Diogenes Onionpants

          Worst morning zoo ever.

      • OMG, I think you may be right.

    • JCF

      Of his 4000 new hires, betcha 2000 have (by contract) grabbable pussies.

  • Gustav2

    Not that traffic is bad now around Trump Tower…

    • EweTaw

      The barricade of cat boxes full of sand around Trump Tower is going to be permanent. The smell will become so bad that even die hard New Yorkers will complain. But it might keep the rat problem at a minimum.

      • Dramphooey

        Wow. I remember Republicans complaining when Bill Clinton closed off the portion of Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to traffic. Bob Dole actually said he’d reopen it if he were elected. I’ll bet we won’t hear a peep from them this time and this is far more outrageous.

        • EweTaw

          The It’s OK If You Are Republican IOKIYAR will become more and more evident as the Orange Cheeto Shit Gibbon continues to be more and more outrageous.

  • Tiger Quinn

    Right, but the Clinton Machine was the problem. Are you kidding me, they aren’t even going to live in the White House?!

    • Gustav2

      Are we going to have to pay for an additional “West Wing” in Trump Tower?

      $$$$$$

      • Dramphooey

        We’ll pay and pay and pay. They’ll take everything that isn’t nailed down. To borrow a quote from old Thad Stevens about Simon Cameron: “the only thing he wouldn’t steal is a red hot stove.”

        • Gustav2

          And will Republicans scream about the security costs of dual residences?

          LOL

      • Yup – the regs require all the agencies involved in the security and operations of the family pay, and at market rates. They can’t take freebies from their protectees, even if the boss owns the buliding. Always been the case – Biden charges the Secret Service for an outbuilding on his Delaware property.

  • Michael R
    • Dramphooey

      That is over half of the country now.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        We Are All Melania Now

        • another_steve

          Just checked my cleavage.

          Not so.

          • Todd20036

            My cleavage doesn’t have any silicone in it, so I’m not Melanoma either.

          • cleos_mom

            If I posed even semi-nude at this point in life, people would run away screaming.

          • Paula

            I make extra money dancing at night. People pay me to put my clothes back on.

          • cleos_mom

            I’ve always wanted to enter some kind of stripper Amateur Night, enter the stage nude and put my clothes back on by dancing.

          • Grumpy Old Man

            I used to model for art classes here in Seattle and back in Billings MT; I took a burlesque class – just me and 60 women, kind of nice. I did one performance but the classes helped with my art modelling.

          • another_steve

            You know, kidding aside, cm, there is a wonderful beauty– a wonderful aesthetic — in the aged female breast. I love it when my women friends in their 60s and older wear low-cut tops.

            I love it when they’re not ashamed of their beautiful, sometimes wrinkled, breasts.

          • Gerry Fisher

            I think I’d like yours better.

          • another_steve

            As we men age, we sometimes develop man-boobs.

            My husband has luscious man-boobs.

            I like to lick the space in-between them.

          • Todd20036

            Some do. I keep my pecs muscular.

            Personal preference.

          • Paulajledesma

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        • Michael R
    • Guest

      1) this idiot Trump will never care about anything but himself. There is no thought for the extra work and dollars this will cost us, nor of the disruption of the lives of the secret service agents. Trump is beyond having an ego and a mental illness. President Obama would have never forced protection agencies into this.

      2) this was covered once again in the TV show, “The West Wing,” where President and Mrs. Sontos at first were going to keep the kids at home until the end of the school year. The agent saying it would force plan changes stopped that in the show. I cannot think of a past President, left or right that would care so little of our country and of those protecting them, to do this.

      3) this example is just one more tip of the iceberg for what is to come.

      4) someone with Photoshop ability needs to do a Romney photo of him with orange around the lips and a few drops of orange on his suit for saliva and Trump’s other fluid. In fact, we need a whole series of all of Trump’s appointments done like this. They will spread fast online. Lol.

      5) I wonder if this is her way to start to break away from him and get rich on her own. After a year, her tell-all will mean she would not need money from the pre-nup and from him.

      6) every day seems to be worse. Check out Keith Olbermann and GQ’ The Resistance videos on Twitter. He also did a whole series during the election. It was wonderful to see him in action again.

    • Nowhereman

      Nice touch with the backwards P.

    • J Ascher

      Sorry, girl, you signed on for the shit show.

  • Do Something Nice

    The Donald could be the biggest cuck in history.

  • Dramphooey

    Revenge for the Booing. You have my sympathy, Big Apple. It will be hard but keep booing!

  • HomerTh

    Well that will give Donald plenty more opportunities to grab ’em by the pussy.

    • cleos_mom

      Especially the ’em he regretted he had blood ties to.

  • Treant

    So I guess she’s fucking the pool boy. Not that the press will report on that.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “So disrespectful!”

      — a response tweet from some asshole at the NY Times

      • houstonray

        “disrespectful”? About them not living at the White House? I do agree it feels somewhat disrespectful, almost like the White House isn’t good enough for them, despite it being such a historic piece of America.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          No, no. Some reporter from the NY Times clutched her Twitterpearls over Pence’s treatment at “Hamilton”.

          Apparently the new POV of the newspaper of record is “TRUMP WON!”

          • houstonray

            AH!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!! Now THAT is the definition of an asshole, ha.

        • TampaDink

          I’ve been saying, since the start of his campaign that they’d never lower themselves to move into really old public housing…especially where a black family had been living for 8 years.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      That would entail touching something Trump touched… and there’s not enough bleach in the world to wash that off.

    • HoneyBoySmith

      But, there were 6 emails out of 30,000 (that didn’t damage or imperil national security) that had useless “classified” information in them.

      Surely that’s more important.

    • GayOldLady

      That was my first thought. She has a lover in the Tower and she’s not about to leave. But don’t forget, “she’s close” to her ONLY child, so it must be that.

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        She’s has a lover in the Tower…
        “Oh Peter boy….” (cue baa chicka chicka bow bow music)

      • Treant

        It’s so nice when mothers actually do their jobs, isn’t it? Of course, there’s a mother of two wonderful girls in the White House at this point managing to do that, have her own programs, and perform the duties of the First Lady.

      • David Walker

        What you’ve written reminded me, somehow, of this:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx3kpa51EyY

        • CanuckDon

          “A rich old man and she won’t have to worry…she’ll dress up all in lace and go in style…
          Late at night…a big old house gets lonely
          I guess every form of refuge has its price…”

          Definitely an anthem for societal privilege that I know by heart.

      • thatotherjean

        For her sake, and Barron’s, I kinda hope it’s both.

  • Jim in TO

    So instead of the occasional presidential visit screwing up NYC traffic it will be every day for the next 4 years?

    • EweTaw

      Yup. Get used to it. Seems to me that now would be a good time to move out of Manhattan.

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        Worst part: His followers all gathering at fifth to get a look at her.
        That avenue is dead to me now.
        (Having noted, there is a strange justice in this: typical NYC response: “Shit, we don’t care about you! We got bigger things to worry about and bigger people to see.”)

        • Pat

          No problem. After he cuts their safety net social security and reduces the minimum wage back to a Repug reasonable one of $1.65, they won’t be able to afford the bus fare to get there. Win-win for Don the Con.

          • Guest

            The right and far too many businesses never can understand that with people making crap wages, they cannot buy stuff.

            And every time we get a Republican recession or depression, the left bails out the country. The left is stuck because they actually care about the country and about people.

            Maybe the left should only fight some battles and let the right destroy the economy within a couple of years and then celebrate when the country finally gets it, fix it and hammer the right constantly. FDR hammered the right of his day all of the time and the message of who caused the mess was clear. The left under Trumann backed off the constant message. Now this is not the only reason why Eisenhower won, but the left did take a turn toward being more passive and has to this day.

            The guy who blew up in the DNC meeting last week and walked out had a point about flawed candidates and candidates not really listening to the base. Like it or not, fair or unfair, blame the right for successful framing, but HRC had issues with Bill’s triangulation and her constant caution. We can listen to the poll data on why so many middle class, all races said no. We should have seen the line that Trump used, that in my opinion was his most successful, that she had been there 30 years and not done anything. I know it is not true, but minimunly, she should have been ready with better answers and a round of commercials.

          • Wait until he develops a “mysterious illness” and he is confined to Trump Tower and those helicopter flights out will never confirm if he is at home or escaping. http://stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

          • Pat

            Gah! We don’t want him! OT: Your site is really nice.

        • EweTaw

          I imagine profits are not good for the local businesses in the immediate area.

          • olandp

            What about the stores IN Trump Tower? The first five to seven floors are a shopping mall. How many customers are going to want to go through metal detectors and body searches to go shopping or get something to eat? Not to mention the prople who own apartments there.

          • Robincho

            A mighty high price to pay for a fucking taco salad…

          • Jay Silversmith

            They are all atwitter about the vaginal ultrasounds and anal probes that will be required while shopping.

          • Ernest Endevor

            I thought the same. Tiffany & Co and Harry Winston are not going to be pleased. To say nothing of MOMA.

          • Villager

            Stores are already suffering. will be a dismal Christmas.

      • Todd20036

        Personally, I’m ok with this, but I’m in DC

        • EweTaw

          I’m sort of amused, as well. But the fact that Trump is allowed to get away with behaving like an emperor is a bit much. He’s headed for a bad end. My Magic Eight Ball predicts it.

          • Todd20036

            His end already looks pretty bad. Only Crispie has a worse looking end

          • EweTaw

            My fingers are crossed. My legs and toes, too. 🙂

          • David Walker

            Oh. Why didn’t you ask? It’s just down the hall and to the left. You WERE born male, right?

          • EweTaw

            I’m holding it in so that if the possibility arises I can pee all over Trump.

          • karmanot
          • cleos_mom

            Maybe he’ll be the post-Industrial Revolution Caligula. The Secret Service might well make him nervous at some point.

          • Tallulah

            I see a bad end for Uday and Qusay too.

      • Villager

        thanks goodness I live below 14th St

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Time for some traffic problems in the Northeast Corridor.”

    • Niblet58

      Betcha she stays in NYC and he stays in DC… separations work like that.

      • TampaDink

        He may live in DC part time, but will weekend in Palm Beach or at one of his golf resorts….as well as his black tower of doom.

      • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

        He’s not staying in DC. He’s going to commute and be a 9-5 weekday President.

        • TampaDink

          I’d bet his hours will be closer to 10-12 & 2-4…..Mon. thru Thurs..

          • Todd20036

            Most people on our side are ok with this.

            Most people on his side wouldn’t care anyway

          • TampaDink

            True. The less time he spends “on the clock”, the better our chances of avoiding nuclear war.

        • JCF

          He’s going to commute to wherever his new mistress(es) are.

      • Dagoril

        Do you have any idea how BLACK DC is? He’s a white supremacist!

        • Todd20036

          Very multicultural where I live.

          That’s one of the reasons I haven’t gotten tired of Dupont after living here 20 years.

    • John T

      Just wait until Chris Christie becomes Secretary of Transportation!

    • thatotherjean

      It will just get worse when Trump visits. He plans to do that every weekend–but he hasn’t figured out yet that the job isn’t M-F, 9-5. He will, soon enough.

      • Todd20036

        Hope he doesn’t learn it.

        He’s an inexperienced idiot.

  • dcurlee

    First why are taxpayers having to pay for extra security. I realize it just means there won’t be a hooker in the White House but with give Trump the opportunity to be grabbing pussy left and right

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      “I realize it just means there won’t be a hooker in the White House”
      No, just a harem.

    • TampaDink

      This doesn’t mean that there won’t be a hooker in the White House. It just means that there won’t be a hooker who is currently married to trump in the White House.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Telecommuting makes a Family.

  • TimCA

    I think it would logistically better for Trump, Flynn and the entire administration to take up residence in the Kremlin since it would be closer to the real seat of power.

  • another_steve

    So we get no sexy boobies in the White House, Ethel? What’s with that, darling?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/49e9c5e4b9a10db232102492cd0cf092febe601055242c5d3d03645562f1257a.jpg

  • Oscarlating Wildely

    Small point: “they have become closer during the campaign”
    Honey, it shouldn’t take the shittiest campaign in the history of the nation to make you get closer to your kid. It really shouldn’t.

    • Dramphooey

      This!

    • Dramphooey

      At a rally in Ohio, October 2016.
      Barron: “Mom … I … I … I think my dad is an asshole. I like that he buys me things but he’s an asshole.”
      Melania (hugs him): “Oh, Barron … you’re growing up so fast.”

      • charemor

        I really feel sorry for the kid – almost.

        • thatotherjean

          I really feel sorry for the kid, period. You don’t get to pick your parents, and the luck of the draw did him no real favors.

          • Todd20036

            Indeed. Once you’re household is making $75k a year, making more does NOT make you happier.

            Barron would be happier in a stabler household making $100k a year.

            He’d get everything he needed, a few things he wanted, and parents who weren’t walking embarrassments

  • vorpal

    I am imagining that she heaved a sigh of relief, instead of the usual regular old run-of-the-mill heaving she does after sex with Trump.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Hey ‘Murika, remember when you bitched about Obama disrupting traffic and spending too much on security? Trump’s trophy wife and their larvae are going to cost taxpayers literally twice as much due to this move. How’s that draining of the swamp, he’ll cut spending thing going for ya?

    • Pat

      I spit my tea out at “larvae”. In a month of no laughs, that one was very welcome.

    • houstonray

      “Larvae”!!!!!!!!!!! Love it!!!

    • Acronym Jim

      They also bitched about the Obamas sending Sasha and Malia to a private school.

      • cleos_mom

        “Blahs in private schools! How did they ever get in?”

    • LaChatSayWha

      Remember the hell both Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama went through because they were professional women?! If any previous first family had proposed that the family would live in separate cities for Whatever reason, they would have been drummmed out of the White House for their Satanic Liberal Elite Anti-Family Cultural Values. Why isn’t Melanie being strapped into aprons and forced to bake cookies?

      I grew up under Reagan. I am painfully familiar w/ the political and social consequences of the Family Values War the right has been conducting for the last 35 years. I never thought I’d say this, but the hypocrisy of the Republican Party is currently stunning me. And it’s only been 12 days.

    • Robert Flanagan

      Oh, let us not forget the story of “Moochell” ordering lobster at a hotel stay!

  • ColdCountry

    I can almost feel sorry for her, and Barron. I doubt she ever imagined anything like this. Too bad we taxpayers are going to have to pay for the extra security. The White House is designed for security, NYC not so much.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      And Fifth Avenue is one of the biggest corridors in that city in terms of foot traffic and vehicular traffic. I mean, 9th always sucks because of the tunnel. But Fifth is where everyone and their brother’s aunt from Idaho goes. And it just got worse.
      One benefit: The Pride march starts about ten blocks south of that location. Crank it up!

    • coram nobis

      Manhattan’s already pretty much on lockdown since the World Trade Center unpleasantness, isn’t it?

      • ColdCountry

        Don’t know, but after the pics of the Lincoln Tunnel the other day, I do believe things could get worse for the residents and folks who work there.

    • GayOldLady

      No, no, no…….Don’t feel sorry for her. She’s likely staying to be near her lover, not her son. She and Trump have probably been going their separate ways for years.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Such a loving father!

  • bob

    Sounds like a separation to me ! lol

  • crewman

    They do realize they weren’t just running for a pageant, but there’s an actual job to do now, which typically entails relocating.

  • Robert Conner

    We have a president-elect who just paid $25 million to get rid of lawsuits connected to his fraudulent not-a-university. And the media’s already treating it like the new normal.

    • moebym

      But at least we dodged the bullet of a candidate who set up a private email server (shudder).

      • cleos_mom

        I plan to, for the duration, answer any complaint I hear from people who voted for Trump, Dingbat Johnson or Crackpot Stein with:

        “But remember, “Hillary” isn’t President. Be happy with that.”

        • moebym

          Ha, good one!

      • lymis

        She didn’t even “set it up.” Not the way she’s being accused. She and Bill had that installed after he left the White House, not as part of some plan she hatched as Secretary of State.

        • moebym

          Thanks, I wasn’t aware of that. Clearly I’m not as informed as I need to be.

    • ericxdc

      Time for tax returns. Ever?

      • pj

        that ship sailed

  • fastlanestranger

    I love this story.

  • HoneyBoySmith

    Everything about this election makes me think this country is doomed.

    Trump’s election revealed that Russia won the cold war.

    And, China has won the future.

    Requiescat in pace, USA.

    • cleos_mom

      Indeed — I’ve been telling people that my country shot itself in the head this month and the body is already starting to stink.

  • Bill Post

    Staying in Manhattan to finish school? They’re just as surprised as everyone else that they won

    • coram nobis

      Of course. Isn’t it a finishing school?

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      My guess: That little fucker goes to Dalton.
      Comparatively, the Obamas sent their kid to a Friends school in DC, a la Quaker, a la the most peace loving people in the country.

      • righteous mob

        Sidwell Friends School. Highly selective, attended by the Obama children, Biden’s grandchildren, Trisha Nixon and Chelsea Clinton among others.

        • lymis

          So, Barron couldn’t get in? Is that what this is about?

          • righteous mob

            No, just information on the school referenced by Mr. Wildely. I have no interest in young Trump.

  • coram nobis

    So, who’s he going to appoint as First Lady?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Two words: Tila Tequila

    • Pat

      Ivanka, no doubt. Gee, all those photos of them. I wonder………

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      The lovely Miss LindseyBelle seems a likely candidate.

      • Oscarlating Wildely

        No, Lindsey is hooking up with Ladybird. She’s a jealous thing, so be careful.

      • coram nobis

        The Southern Strategy, revisited. May bring back corsets and bustles as well. She’ll be the best thing to hit the WH since Mary Todd Lincoln.

        • Oscarlating Wildely

          And to think: This was the home that Jackie decorated.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZTXv5NpgaI

          Watch the trailer, then think Melenia.

          How we have fallen.

          • cleos_mom

            But it wasn’t just “redecorating” — that was how the news media at that time pitched it. What she did was an entire historic preservation overhaul, a few decades before many people even knew what “historic preservation” was.

    • PeterC

      Did you mean ‘sixth’ Lady

  • Lumpy Gaga

    “I von’t sleep in dat ni[clang]’s bed.” — Melania

    • coram nobis

      “What did she say?”

      “She said the current president is NEAR.”

    • Pat

      Exactly.

  • GayOldLady

    “Melania is extremely close to Barron, and they have become closer during the campaign,”

    What? She’s extremely close to her only child and they’ve become closer? Extremely close isn’t how I’d describe how I felt toward my children when they were growing up, more like they were my life, but whatever! More likely the White House is just to drab and common for her. What a crazy ass family the Trump’s are.

    • AdamTh

      She just realized the White House is considered “government housing”….

    • HomerTh

      The likelihood is that Donald told her she wasn’t going to live in the White House.

      • GayOldLady

        Well she is a foreigner
        😀

    • cleos_mom

      This is starting to sound like a new episode of “Law And Order — Special Victims Unit.”

    • greenmanTN

      Well, you’re actually sentient, while I kinda see Melania as more like one of the apes at the beginning of of 2001: A Space Odyssey, shaking a stick at the White House like it’s a monolith.

      (OK, my sense of humor has officially gone off the rails.)

    • Cipher

      Translation: Melanoma complained about the pussy grabbing video and Don the Con got a translator to explain the pre-nup. She is now clinging to her meal ticket.

  • David

    Trump has already bought and trafficked into the US a new “wife” for D.C.

  • Yixing’s Fluffer

    I was so looking forward to Barron rolling his eyes at every one of his dad’s speeches.

    • I was looking for him being a fly on the wall and writing a tell-all book when he turns 18.

  • SDG

    Hmm… so who exactly is going to “run” the Whitehouse? And I guess she is not going to be a very… present FLOTUS?

    Maybe Trump won’t be there much either? Who will plan state dinners? Maybe there won’t be any.

    Jeeze, maybe he thinks it’s just a Ceremonial Job (he makes some decisions, and gets to travel).

    • EweTaw

      I can hardly wait for her to appear on The View. (Yeah. Like that’s ever going to happen.)

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      Who will run things? Pence– and the ghost of Ronald Reagan. And GWB’s stash of weapons of mass destruction hiding in the White House bowling alley.

      • Pat

        One comforting thought – maybe Lincoln’s ghost will personally haunt him every night he spends in the WH until he’e inevitably impeached.

        • Oscarlating Wildely

          “Screaming ‘I liked dick sometimes!”

          • Pat

            Right in his orange ear.

        • coram nobis

          Accompanied by the ghost of Jacob Marley every Christmas eve.

    • Pat

      Not to alarm anyone, but on the campaign trail he pretty much said his job would be to make America great again and his people would be running the country.

      • SDG

        Thanks for the edification…

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Melania: I am a women of style with high upkeep! Moving to the White House would feel like living in a trailer-park. I have become accustomed to gold leaf on every available surface and could not tolerate crapping in anything but a solid gold toilet.

  • Sean Williams

    Can you blame them? I mean have you seen the gross lack of gold leaf at the White House? Not very classy.

    • Gil

      The best people are saying that…

  • MamaKath

    Yeah. Let’s slow down NYC even more with all the security that will be involved with her kid going to school there every day along with securing Trump Tower. Selfish entitled twats.

  • MattPS

    Makes sense. There just wasn’t enough gold and mirrors in the White House to satisfy her.

    The more interesting question: Does this mean that there won’t be any joint appearances by President and First Lady? Will she not be attending state dinners? Or things like White House concerts, which have traditionally been hosted by the First Lady? I suppose that leaves The Donald free to replace those boring classical music concerts with something better, like lap dancers! All the while Melania will be stuck up in the 5th Ave. penthouse…

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “It’s been so long since we’ve had a good old-fashioned minstrel show in the White House.”

    • Pat

      Well, considering all the concerts will be Ted Nugent, that might not be a bad thing after all.

  • jimbo65

    Let’s be real. Moving to the white house would be beneath them. They have no interest in investing in living in the White House like other Presidents and their families before them have. I feel sorry for the people in NY who are going to have to deal with the never ending traffic disruptions.

  • Scott Fitler

    How fucked up and annoying in must be to live in Trump Tower now. It probably always has been, but even more so with the Secret Service and added security.

    Lawsuits coming?

    • pj

      how sad for them

      • cleos_mom

        Yeah, I’m choking on my tears.

  • Ross

    “Melania Won’t Move To The White House.”

    Translation: Ivanka will be the First Lady.

    • Pat

      She’s probably already in talks with home shopping to convert the west wing into a studio for her “exclusive” products. aka crappy knockoffs.

      • Acronym Jim

        The First Lady’s offices are in the East Wing. Soon to be known as the Trump TV Shopping Network Studios.

        • andymac3

          Going to be awkward when the CEO of Alibaba visits to tell her that she has ‘accidentally’ copied 6 pages of their jewelry and shoe collection.

    • Treant

      Yep. While there’s precedent (Buchanan’s niece comes to mind), it’ll be the first time the wife of the President has not been performing First Lady duties.

      I just hope Don’s got enough mentis to compos and realize that Ivanka isn’t his wife…

      • David Walker

        He will have staff that he himself isn’t paying. Except for the prestige of the job (working in the White House, not working for Drumpf), they should have a few things to leak.

    • cleos_mom

      And their relationship might make that an apt position.

    • Steverino

      And, “Melania wants to spend more time with her family.”

      Heh.

      • cleos_mom

        When a politician says that, you can bet he’s on his way out the door.

    • JCF
      • Todd20036

        Imagine If Obama dressed his daughter in that get-up

  • JK3

    My guess is that Trump will stay in NY too (if only just to stick it to Hamilton). I can’t see him staying in the White House alone for all 4 years and I don’t think he can get away with moving his children in. The real question is, does Melania divorce him during the presidency, in 5 years when he is hopefully out of office, or does she stick around and hope she gets more in his estate?

    • Scott Fitler

      I’m guessing this has already been discussed — she’s probably getting paid to stay with him and not start the divorce proceedings just yet. Bonus if she makes it to the end.

    • houstonray

      Since the presidency ages them exponentially, and he’s already 70 and not the picture of perfect health, I’m guessing the odds are in her favor… 😉

    • Treant

      “Dahlink. I make tea for you.”

      • “Why does it taste like almonds?”

        “It’s the latest thing, dahlink. Drink.”

    • Joe in PA

      I wouldn’t be too sure about the kids not moving in. Ivanka was at a meeting with Japan’s prime minister (with dad and the general) just the other day. I’m sure she and the boys can ‘run the family business’ from the Lincoln bedroom, no prob.

      • LaChatSayWha

        I agree w/ you. The only people he trusts are his kids. To varying degrees of course.

  • Acronym Jim

    Maybe this really is in the best interest of Barron. Seriously, the few rare photos of him with a genuine smile are early photos and those taken when he’s sitting next to his half-sister, Tiffany.

    Considering some of the reporting about how Trump abused his kids (including slapping Don, Jr. for answering his the door at his dorm without putting on a suit first), the less time spent around Daddy, the better.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “I’m a very attentive father. I beat Marron every weekend.”

  • Yeah, that’s a marriage that will last, exactly as long as Trump’s presidency.

  • PLAINTOM

    Why should she uproot her life for Trump’s temporary job ? I’m guessing 11 months in the impeachment pool.

    • Treant

      I still have 20 so they get the boost in the 2018 elections.

    • Outlaw Woman

      I’m guessing six to nine months before he gets bored and hands it off to Pence.

    • I think the pool needs to have other options. Resignation. Incarceration. Dementia. . . But I’m kind of with you on the 11 months, either beginning of the end or the end for whatever reason. I seriously can barely see him getting inaugurated, and can’t imagine him going a full four years in the job.

  • Carl

    Normal people would b really excited to be part of history and live in the White House. The Trump family look at it like it’s some shack that’s beneath them.

    • cleos_mom

      Don’t knock it — that might not be a bad thing. Try to imagine the decorating Melanoma would do.

    • TampaDink

      Normal is a word that I would never think of using in the same sentence as that family.

    • The last tenants were coloured people and they have been asked to leave. Sad.

  • OdieDenCO

    logical. you can’t grab pussy with the ball and chain around

  • Jon Doh

    So I’m guessing Melania isn’t planning on watering the garden?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Vat next? Do you vant I should be picking the cotton?”

      –Melania

    • Gil

      She can assiduously fight online bullying just as well from New York as DC..I’m so grateful that she plans on saving the world from people like her husband !!!

  • Sam_Handwich

    it’s a family of DOUCHEBAGS

  • Ernest Endevor

    You know what they say about boys who get too close to their mother while dad’s never around?

    • cleos_mom

      Or about girls who get too close to Daddums when Mums is living in another state?

      • Gil

        Lolitas

        • cleos_mom

          Not quite; Humbert wasn’t her biological dad and Ivanka is no nymphet.

    • Gil

      Fags

  • David Kerlick

    Fran Lebowitz predicts another divorce. The Wall Street Journal (!) says he should sell all his properties and put them in a blind trust.

    • David Walker

      …run by the 3 trustworthy kids, who promise they’ll never tell daddy anything about it.

    • thatotherjean

      The Wall Street Journal may actually be failing, because that is clearly a fever dream. They’re delirious.

  • AtticusP

    Well, there goes the neighborhood…

  • OhNo,Sweetie

    She can’t bring herself to use a toilet that doesn’t have a gold seat, or had black people using it.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    ‘Member that time the whole right wing and its media enablers lost their collective shit because Hillary wouldn’t stay home and bake cookies?

    • cleos_mom

      She did release her recipe. The majority of my co-workers voted for Trump and one is a Berniebot who bragged about not voting.

      I plan to make these and graciously share.

      http://allrecipes.com/recipe/9928/hillary-clintons-chocolate-chip-cookies/

      • The Return of Traxley

        You have my sympathy.

    • LaChatSayWha

      They’ve never stopped losing their shit over how uppity she was to actually pursue a career. It still hasn’t stopped.

      As a young queer woman starting my career in the 90s, I will never forget or forgive the torture they put Hillary through for being insufficiently cowed and domestic. It was vicious and utterly unconscionable.

  • cleos_mom

    He wants more “quality time” with Ivanka.

    • Joe in PA

      doesn’t need to be said, but: eeeeeewwwhhhh.

      • cleos_mom

        Oh right, like everyone wasn’t thinking it!

  • houstonray
    • David Walker

      And in my memory I hear, “Get those shoes off the couch!”

    • Hawthy

      She is probably just used to the tacky gold color everywhere and feels nervous in an actually tastefully decorated place LOL

  • Nowhereman

    I’d love to see their pre-nup.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      I’d love to see their tax returns.

      • Nowhereman

        Thanks for the guffaw! And me too!

  • Nowhereman

    Frankly, I’m surprised that The Donald will be living in the White House. Isn’t that a step down for a man like him?

  • Hawthy

    They really seem to be taking this presidency serious, dont they? Ugh…..

  • Blake Mason

    I don’t Melania wants to move away from her side piece…. do you honestly think the Donald is satisfying her?

    • Gil

      AND some of those Secret Service guys are majorly hunks..

  • bdsmjack

    Good. I’m the the White House won’t have that cheap whore living in it. (My apologies to other cheap whores).

  • Paula

    O.K., I can see it if the kid is in Junior or Senior year of high school. Let him finish. He ten years old, the move won’t affect him the same way.

    • Gil

      Air Force brat here…..Never lived in one place more than three years, most times less time than that….. Went to base schools and local schools ( French public schools , etc ) Not unusual for service kids..Why is Barron such a snowflake ? .

      • Paula

        I was in the same situation that you were. I have a class ring from a school that I didn’t graduate from. Besides, I said that it wouldn’t affect him the same as a Junior or Senior. We never went to base schools, only off base.

    • houstonray

      My parents weren’t military but my Dad was in sales and every promotion led to a new place to live. Born in OK, then moved to AZ, CA, RI, back to CA, TX, NC and back to TX finally to stay, all by the time I was 13. I survived, and indeed I think it makes me a better person to have experienced different places and make new friends more often.

      Suck it up Melania, he will survive…

      • Paula

        Of course he will survive. I never said that he wouldn’t He is not moving during his senior year, he is 10.

  • houstonray

    I can GUARANTEE you that Ivanka will be the one setting up state dinners, picking out choices for the Christmas decor, etc.

  • Natty Enquirer

    In a related development, the incumbent Trump administration announced that auditions for assistants will commence early next week. Must be at least a 36D and supply own blue dress.

  • olandp

    I wouldn’t want to live with him either.

  • Bob Conti

    It’s just so difficult for a billionaire to find a good elementary school in the District these days.

    • Gil

      I can recommend Sidwell Friends School…But they DO admit black students…..

  • i don’t really care. the “office” of FL can be anything, and what it’s been in the past just a tradition in truth, not a requirement. we elected one person president. what his family does is their business (unless they are using his presidency to break the law). we’re better off with her far away from critical allies anyways. after Michelle, she’ll just drive home to our visitors how far we’ve fallen as a nation.

    • IamM

      And she’s completely beside the point.
      I assume she’s a tacky little gold digger, but that’s none of my business and doesn’t affect me.

  • Robert Flanagan

    And who the FUCK is going to finance this? Oh yeah, the taxpayer, which Trump is not a member of. Oh he is such a Saint for not accepting his $400,00 a year salary.

    • LaChatSayWha

      He hates taxable income.

  • Silver Badger

    Melanoma realizes that living with the most hated man in America won’t be exactly safe for Barron. Besides that, she knows she’d have to move again in a few months when trump’s impeached.

  • GeneInSJ

    I really can’t blame her. Plus, I really don’t want her living in the White House.

  • bkmn

    It’s the first step toward wife #4.

  • SoCalGal20

    At least FLOTUS’ organic garden might be spared!

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Without Melania around, Trump will just shit out in the yard?

      • houstonray

        Compost!

  • Slippy_World
  • houstonray

    Who’s pussy will he grab at the inaugural ball?

  • Michael

    You guys are a bunch of bitter bitches. The Democrats lost because people like you thought you could have your queen while totally screwing over Sanders and his supporters.

    • (a) Many people here supported Sanders here in the primary.

      (b) There’s no guarantee Sanders would have won. Pre-General Election campaign polls are meaningless because he had never faced the kind of fire he’d be under against the GOP. The RNC’s opposition research file on him was two FEET thick. They were salivating over the ads they’d run against a “socialist” (no one gets the distinction of a “Democratic Socialist”). The already had at least five video clips of his they felt would destroy him. One we knew about during the primaries, of him at a Sandanista rally praising them as patriots while they chanted “death to Americans.” We don’t know what’s in the other four but the RNC thought they were even worse. But separate from that, Sanders didn’t even rally a majority of the Democratic primary. People are saying people of color weren’t motivated to turn out in the General Election. I’m arguing that voter suppression, not motivation, is responsible for that — they were motivated in the primaries. But what makes one think they’d be more motivated for Sanders if they didn’t vote for him in the primaries? Sanders lost the primaries by over 3 million votes and it wasn’t because he was “screwed over.” It was because he didn’t “win over” those voters.

    • John Ruff

      Fuck you.

    • bobbyjoe

      So you didn’t read the article last week about the oppo research the Trump campaign specifically had on Bernie. The Nicaragua tape alone would have permanently ended Bernie’s chances. Or do you believe that videos of Bernie making speeches in front of crowds making Death to America chants would have played well with the media and the American public? You wouldn’t even have had a candidate like Hillary winning the popular vote; you would have had Bernie decimated beyond repair days after he’d won the primaries, and Trump winning both the popular and electoral votes in a landslide.

      • Steve Teeter

        Thanks for saying that. It’s what I keep thinking every time I hear people on the radio wailing about their poor, lost Bernie, and how he was cheated out of the nomination by Hillary and would clearly have beaten Trump. Bullshit! He would have been squashed.

    • stevenj

      Sounds like you are the bitter bitch.

  • Ninja0980

    Bye bye NYC economy.

  • So I was going to Tweet this, but I guess I’ll start the stream of consciousness here.

    On the one hand, I don’t blame Melania for finding whatever measure of happiness she can (e.g., away from The Donald) and for wanting to protect her son’s stability. It also suggests that they really never expected OR WANTED to win.

    That said, I know this seems banal and trivial in light of the White House being packed with members of the KKK, but who will act as White House Hostess, the de facto First Lady? It seems trivial but it actually has significant national security implications.

    Will Melania fly back as needed for state occasions? Will she plan for those occasions remotely from New York, or will they be planned for her?

    Or will someone else step in, which would not at all be unprecedented? It wouldn’t be unusual for Trump’s daughter Ivanka to do that — EXCEPT that she’s supposed to be running his business with her brothers and walled off from his political life (already obviously a lie). Meeting in the boardroom by day and with heads of state in the ballroom at night SHOULD be sparking dozens of Congressional hearings and inevitable impeachment proceedings.

    The better and also not unprecedented solution would be to have the wife of the senior cabinet member, the Secretary of State, act as hostess in the absence of the president’s wife. And as much as it galls me to give her the tiara she’s been salivating over for so long, the best person for that job for the country that Trump would conceivably pick is Mitt Romney. I have no illusions that any SoS could fully rein in any president, but Romney could calm our allies better than Giuliani or the nightmare John Bolton. That which would make finally make Ann Romney the First Lady that’s she’s always wanted to be. It also has the added perk of enraging the alt-right who loathes Mitt with a passion.

    • If the noise that Mr. Ivanka will be an adviser is true, it wouldn’t surprising if they lived in the WH with daddy. I think there’d already been some talk that Ivanka would be the principal hostess in any case. Imagine the killing she can make off featuring her home and lifestyle brand items at state dinners!

      Kill me now.

      • Or they may live a mile or so away at the Trump Hotel. And in a normal world, it would be fine for the president’s daughter to do those hostess duties. Chelsea probably would have done some of that. But the Clintons GAVE to their Foundation, they didn’t take FROM it, and they were all separating from it if she won the election. Ivanka can’t be White House hostess and claim that daddy’s business that’s she’s running is walled off from his politics. Already there are foreign political leaders who are flat out saying that they HAVE to stay at the Trump Hotel when they go to D.C. because they can’t meet with the President and say they stayed at a rival’s hotel. Before the election, press reports said they were having trouble renting suites at a quarter of the normal price. Now I bet they’ll double the normal price, and foreign dignitaries will pay it.

        And the hotel is on land leased from the federal government. Since the election, the Trump Organization has already filed suit to lower their property taxes. They want it lowered from an appraised value of $91 million to be reappraised at $28 million. The deal is administered by the General Services Administration, and the decision whether to lower the appraisal will be made by a new administrator APPOINTED BY DONALD TRUMP.

        We’re still two months away from the inauguration and we already have more than enough evidence for dozens of hearings and likely impeachment proceedings.

        • TampaDink

          Their new hotel is only about 4 blocks away from the White House and I find it odd that Melanoma can’t do the job because she has a 10 yr. old son….whereas Ivanka isn’t tied down by her children…ages 6, 3, & 8 months.

        • lymis

          Except that the lease on the building that he converted into the hotel apparently explicitly says it cannot be leased to someone who is in government service. It’s therefore illegal for him to be associated with the hotel.

    • TampaDink

      Choosing Ivanka to act as 1st Lady might happen….but there is a tad bit of irony. Her step-mother needed to stay in NYC because of her child. Ivanka has 3 children & the youngest is less than a year old.

  • Mihangel apYrs

    unlike many here, I applaud the parents putting their son first in this way, if it is to his benefit.
    Say what you want about the Donald, and his wife (if you feel justification), but the wellbeing of the boy should not be a pawn

    • Lumpy Gaga

      You’ve got it backwards. The “wellbeing of the boy” is an excuse for things they don’t want to discuss.

      His real wellbeing begins when he finds the right Park Avenue therapist for $1K a session. (With full release, meaning they’ll actually go 60 minutes.)

      • Mihangel apYrs

        I don’t hope you’re right – again for the boy

        • Lumpy Gaga

          There are many many many boys in our country in deeper doodoo than Droplet Drump thanks to this election. We can all choose where we wring our hands.

          • Mihangel apYrs

            we were talking about THIS boy. And sympathy isn’t a finite quality to be rationed out

          • Lumpy Gaga

            One man can’t take away the sins of the world, and you don’t even look like you’re trying.

          • Mihangel apYrs

            whatever.

            I choose NOT to damn even the guilty, because they’re human. I don’t pretend to be a messiah: equally I claim no right to damnation

          • Lumpy Gaga

            Whatever.

            Gettin’ tired, hon?

          • Mihangel apYrs

            yes – of the profound lack of nuance i find here and elsewhere.

            Trump is not a devil, he is human and will have good as well as bad characteristics. However, it is much easier to hate without thought isn’t it? A bit like they do to us

    • Gil

      If the kid reaches adulthood without MAJOR issues, it will be a miracle… ” Hey Barron, your mother has a nice rack and good to know she shaves down there ! Who’s her girlfriend now ! ” Kids can be very cruel…

    • Robert Conner

      You’re kidding, right? Trump’s putting someone else first? You should be writing for the Late Show!

      • Mihangel apYrs

        who knows – his son, maybe

        • KarenAtFOH

          He only has himself to blame.

          • Mihangel apYrs

            who, his son? Because that’s with whom my sympathy is focussed

    • MamaKath

      Let me guess…you don’t live in the Northeast especially in the great NYC area. This is a financial, security and traffic nightmare for the city.

      • John Ruff

        Welcome to my world: DC.

    • John Ruff

      There’s nothing to applaud here.

  • Gay Fordham Prep Grad

    Just putting local news into perspective at this news….

    De Blasio responded: “I will not tell you that Gucci and Tiffany’s are my central concerns in life. But I will say the traffic situation is a very real problem.”

    I got news for you mayor, (unless deBlasio’s head is so far up his ass he cannot hear the commericial rents crashing on Fifth/Madison Ave at this news), the loss in tax revenue that the high end stores bring into the city budget via sales tax and commercial rent (yes, non-NY’s, businesses pay TAX on their rent when located below 96th St) will devastate this town.

    • Ninja0980

      And it won’t bother the conservatives one bit, as they’ll be sticking it to those NYC liberals but good.

    • John Ruff

      Devastate what and who? The financial capital of the world? I thought NY was the greatest city on Earth?

      • thatotherjean

        Not after the Trumps get through with it.

  • John Ruff

    This DC resident thanks Melania for keeping her Russian-spy, skinny, whore ass out of my city.

    • TimJ

      Never thought of that, Melanomia as a spy…. Does she have a security clearance?

  • Piet

    I wonder if there’s a concern that the boy has some scholarly challenges that they don’t want the country to know about. He certainly looked both lost and disengaged in every photo I’ve seen of him with his (probable) father.

    • Gil

      Drugs for adhd…

    • bobbyjoe

      His father is Donald Trump. That’s enough to induce severe trauma all by itself.

  • ceeenbee

    But a child needs a “family” of both a mother and a father in the home. Bwaaaaaa!!!!!

    • Gil

      Good point…

    • NowAnAgnostic

      This is the first time I have laughed since the election. Thanks!

  • The_Wretched

    She’s not a wife. She’s a ‘wife’. It’s a role she was hired to play. Being first lady wasn’t in the contract and would spoil Trump’s new addition to the White House – the petting zoo. He’ll have the finest escorts, models, wild women, goats, and beauty contestants filling the pens.

  • bob

    So now melanoma is this model mother who cares for her son without the need of nannies and tutors? I find that about as hard to believe as her college degree and immigration papers !

  • JT

    The banishing of the wife is just the beginning of the planned new Pussy Grabbing Wing (formerly West Wing) of Drumpf’s new Shite House.

    • Steve Teeter

      No no! East Wing! That’s traditionally been the First Lady’s domain. If Melania’s not going to use all those offices, The Donald might as well take it over for *personal* use.

  • Mike__in_Houston

    I don’t blame her. I see at least two advantages: (1) She gets to live in NYC, something I wish I could afford to do, and (2) she doesn’t have to be around Trump, at least not as much.

    • andymac3

      She wants to make sure that she keeps separate bathrooms from stinky Trumpet.

  • Lesley

    What a fucking joke. This whole thing is a charade. This is going to be a COSTLY nightmare. Repubs, those “fiscal conservatives” would be going batshit crazy if this were Michelle.

    God I keep hoping that one day I will awaken from this farce.

    • Steve Teeter

      Costly. I hope it is just cost to taxpayers. I hope he doesn’t collapse the economy, cause another stock market crash, as big or worse than 1929. I live off a small pension and some inherited investments. If they collapse in value I’m fucked. And I’m worried.

  • Pat

    Can we at least now call melanoma FLATUS: First Lady Absentia of The United States? Or wait, would that get under hubby’s thin skin?

    • cleos_mom

      Or just cut to the chase and dub her the TTWOUS (Third Trophy Wife of the US). It could be pronounced “Tee Tee Wuss.”

      • Mikey

        make it easy for Trump to remember, pronounce it “twussy”.

    • ceeenbee

      How about we just call her FLATULENCE.

      • KQCA

        “Melania Flatulence” is surely a name that has already been taken by a big and brassy drag queen somewhere. If not, it should be.

        • Shy Guy

          Sounds like Incontinentia Buttocks’s sister. 😛

  • thatotherjean

    Mmmmph. The Secret Service is just going to love that. I’ll bet nobody ever learns her codename. Also, make sure all the White House interns are male, for the duration of Trump’s tenure.

    • coram nobis

      SS codename: Marie Antoinette.

      • William

        Mata Hari.

  • bob

    Aren’t there other residents in that building? There will be lawsuits coming over this! And how does security keep a disgruntled resident from snapping and blowing the place up?

  • 2patricius2

    I think Bess Truman didn’t move to the White House. But then Harry was not known for fooling around on her. In this case, Donald has a free rein.

    • coram nobis

      From 1948-1952, living in the WH wasn’t an option. First Family had to vacate as the building was unsafe, and then was undergoing renovation. Blair House was the residence for the interim.

      • William

        The interior stone and brick walls were removed to allow for more space and hidden passages and stairwells. A full basement (or maybe two) was also dug.

      • Steve Teeter

        It’s happening again. The Oval Office apparently needs major upgrades for security, literally stripping the walls down to studs and building it back up again. They told Obama about this and he said, eh, let the next guy deal with it. It will take about a year and Trump won’t be able to use it for that time, using instead Richard Nixon’s old office in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building across the street.

        Aww, the poor guy. You gotta know he ran for all the pleasures and perks of the office, not because he actually wanted to shoulder the responsibility (that’s Pence’s department), and now he’s not even going to get to rest his heels on the Resolute Desk? Tsk, tsk. /s

  • Kenster999

    I’ll simply say that if she feels that’s what she needs to do for her family, then that’s great. There’s plenty of other stuff to criticize Trump for.

  • Bj Lincoln

    His father is the President! You are his wife! It should be a big deal to live in the White House! Both Drumpf ‘ s act so disrespectful toward protocol, tradition and the American way. I am ready to wake from this nightmare.

    • Steve Teeter

      It’s as if he thinks taking the office is taking a step down. Taking one for the team.

    • William

      You expect Trump to live in public housing? That building hasn’t had a proper renovation since the 1950s!

  • Gerry Fisher

    Someone’s surprised that her husband won.

  • BlindBill

    to bad that they will not be disclosing the cost of secret service travel on trump airlines

  • TheManicMechanic

    #notmyflotus

  • Don’t they have boarding schools in America?

    • coram nobis

      A fair number, including Choate, Exeter, Andover et al.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eight_Schools_Association

      • Mikey

        Isn’t that where he caught that dreadful, debilitating case of bone spurs? Didn’t he have the best doctors, only the finest in the world, take a look at them and declare that one day he’d be the healthiest man to serve as president, but meanwhile he had to stay home and tweet like a hormonal goth teenager?

        • coram nobis

          He was educated, I’m told, at the New York Military Academy, where he claims he’s already had his military service. And military education.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Military_Academy

          Bonaparte had his artillery, and Donald has his tweets. The best tweets.

          • William

            Lather was thirty years old today,

            They took away all of his toys.

            His mother sent newspaper clippings to him,

            About his old friends who’d stopped being boys.

            There was Harwitz E. Green, just turned thirty-three,

            His leather chair waits at the bank.

            And Seargent Dow Jones, twenty-seven years old,

            Commanding his very own tank.

            But Lather still finds it a nice thing to do,

            To lie about nude in the sand,

            Drawing pictures of mountains that look like bumps,

            And thrashing the air with his hands.

          • BudClark

            It has recently been revealed that Trump didn’t finish a Bachelor’s OR a Masters from either Fordham OR Wharton.

            Compare and contrast with the Obamas …

  • chris10858

    I wonder if this is really due to some sort of marital separation?

    • KQCA

      I think you’re on to something. Lots of secrets brewing in the stew around this stranger that got elected.

    • thatotherjean

      If it is, she’s a lucky woman–she gets to keep the house, the son, a lot of the money, and gets free security (her husband gets to pay for housing the Secret Service) and transportation, and gets to live apart from The Donald. Not a bad deal at all.

  • Jacob

    If there was any question Ivanka was going to first lady (which there wasn’t) it ended when Pres. Julius broke protocol with the Japanese visit. I’m fine with his wife never entering the white house again. Trash.

  • FAEN

    Michelle Obama replaced by Melania Trump. God that’s depressing.

    • Steve Teeter

      But maybe this means she WON’T be First Lady, effectively. I know she said she wanted to campaign against bullying, which is rich as she’s married to the most prominent cyberbully in the world. And First Ladies have always had their personal campaigns. But to do that I think you have to be IN the city that’s the seat of power, not holed up in Trump Tower.

      We’ve anguished about what kind of First Lady Melania would make. Maybe she’s going to spare us that and just stay in New York. I don’t think Trump would mind very much.

  • TestSubject51

    Without Melania around in DC he can be grabbing all the pussy he wants.

  • justmeeeee

    How convenient for the pool boy!

  • andymac3

    Perhaps Pence the Impaler and his wife will move into the White house instead. After all, he will be doing most of the work with all his besties that he asked Trump to nominate.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Come on, Mike… You’re over here all the time….”

  • Does anyone else feel that The Mrs is totally unconnected with Big Orange? The very few times they have been seen together they don’t look nor act like a “couple”. Does anyone remember if that is status quo for Trump’s wives, or just with this one?

    • David From Canada

      She’s probably glad to get away from him. Trump’s second wife took a young lover but got caught. Melania is starting to get ideas………..

  • leastyebejudged

    This is such elitist bullshit.

  • Tallulah

    The White House laundry staff are rejoicing!

  • andrew

    Melania’s not moving into the White House may just mean that it won’t be turned into an evangelicals preachers gold an glitzy tasteless house.

    • Mikey

      oh that’s ALL Trump.
      Melanoma is probably more “red lamp in the window”.

  • MichaelJ
  • Silver Badger

    Separate maintenance. Melanoma knows she will never be accepted at the white house. Look for Ivanka to take over hostess duties.

  • JCF

    Just trying to imagine the Rethug ERUPTION if the Obamas had done this—or the Clintons did/would have! “IMMORALITY!!!” “Attack on Marriage!” “What are they hiding??!1!?1?” “She doesn’t love Our Country!” “Her child is a Special Snowflake!” ad nauseaum…

    • Pat

      There have always been two standards. The “high moral ground” of the Republicans gives them a pass to deflect any criticism and point to Democrats as the demons, literally. And by high moral ground, I mean utter corruption, sleazy personal and professional behaviour and religious inspired intolerant humbuggery.

  • Robert Flanagan

    I will admit, I am a raging Assholiphobe and wii fight these people till my last breath!

  • Robert Flanagan

    I will admit, I am a proud raging Asholiphobe and will be fighting these people tooth and nail!

  • Dee

    Stop wasting taxpayers’ money you bitches…. Your kid is not more important than the rest of the US. Get over it.

  • bob

    I wishful end to this story would be for melanoma to run off with big hunky BLACK secret service agent assigned to protect her! LOL

  • marshlc

    “Melania is extremely close to Barron”

    What an odd thing to say about the mother of a young child.

    Poor kid, what a life.

    • Pat

      I feel sorry for him, and in a way I also feel sorry for her. They are the most joyless mother and son I’ve ever seen, a 180 from the Obama family who seems to truly enjoy each other’s company. Melania looks like she’s keeping a tight lid on it. I always felt a bit sorry for her after the debates. The ride home in the SUV must have been hell. And Barron seems to always look miserable, although he might be uncomfortable in public settings. I hope he’s a happier kid in private, maybe more so when Herr Papa ain’t in town.

  • Manhattan traffic nightmares will be never-ending.

  • Helen Damnation 🍑™

    Wow, I’m late to the party, but can you imagine the horror of being Barron Trump? Hearing, probably through your friends, how much the rest of the world hates your fatherf?

    • William

      He looks like a young Jeffrey Dahmer.

  • Rt1583

    Translation:
    There’s not enough room in the White House for all of her servant staff.

  • Villager

    The First Family is supposed to live in the White House. This will create a
    huge inconvenience for residents. Retailers will lose business. Traffic in mid-
    own will be snarled. And NYers (who can’t stand Trump) will pay NYPD
    overtime. And Trump had the nerve to criticize Obama for wasting money

  • rednekokie

    At least, it will be a few months before everything in the White House is painted that tacky gold. Other than that, who gives a s***?

  • Jay Silversmith

    How many hundreds of millions will it cost the taxpayers to finance this charade for security at all of don the con’s properties and little baron’s school? How about the airspace over his properties? And protection for all his adult children to fly all over the world to con other rubes? How much will he charge the taxpayers to house his security teams to stay in his ivory tower? How much has it already cost to finance his constant parade of sycophants to eat crow and kiss his ring and still not get the job?

  • Henry Auvil

    The thought of raising a child more than 200 feet from Bergdorf Goodman is just too frightening to contemplate.

  • Etranger

    I understand that decision to a certain extent, for the sake of the child. But it is truly funny that the republican president will waste taxpayer money on two homes and transportation between them and twice the security detail needed. Supposedly the party of fiscal responsibility. (They are, but only if the money helps those who actually need help).

  • Happy_Housewife

    Military families get transferred all the time and the kids have to adjust, but the Trumps can’t be bothered to go a few stops down the NE corridor?