John Oliver: How Is This Not A Thing? [VIDEO]

Gizmodo recaps:

John Oliver runs a regular segment called “How Is This Still a Thing?”, but he’s decided to turn it on its head. So “How Is This Not a Thing?” describes the things that Oliver would like see invented—preferably as soon as possible. Amongst others, Oliver would like Ambien for the part of the day that we have to be awake, bread pants, and a search engine that can make sense of the kinds of questions that your parents ask. How are they not things?

  • Mark

    Mornin Joe!

    I’d like to see them invent items that don’t hit the floor when they are dropped. I am so tired of having to clean up the mess, or fish it out from under a chair, or simply wonder where the hell it went.

    • Marides48

      Yea it’s that one little part you drop & can never find. It’s the part you need to finish “assembly required”.

    • olandp

      At this point my rule is I’m not getting down there to look for less than three things. It is just too hard to get back up.

      • BobSF_94117

        I discovered, the other day, when flat on the floor looking for something under the cabinet, that the tile is actually quite cool and soothing. Just laid there for a while, just me and the dog…

        • Octavio

          Been there. Done that.

          • BobSF_94117

            Did you happen to seethe thingamajig down there? You know, the one that goes on the end of the whosie-whatsit. I still can’t find it.

        • olandp

          I discovered that the night I found out I’m allergic to vodka.

        • TuuxKabin

          Dogs know how to cool down. My avatar is Sage, our malix (pronounced maliche, maya for mixed breed), keeping cool on the floor with one ear up against the tile base board. I’d also direct a fan on her during the 100+ heat we got.

    • RGG

      an iPhone version would be most welcome.

    • David Walker

      Our house has a black hole. It’s the only possible explanation.

    • Balderdashing

      Invest in magnets.

  • Michael Rush

    How Is This Not A Thing
    ( Trump looking at his penis )

    • Mark

      Penis? Hell he can’t even see his toes!

    • bambinoitaliano

      He can look at it all he wants, it’s still not growing nor will it function properly.

      • Mark

        Is that a side effect of his orange of olay?

        • bambinoitaliano

          Nah that highlights what little he’s got.

    • james_from_cambridge

      But it is. You forget, he’s a giant dick.

      http://media.boingboing.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/giphy2.gif

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  • delk

    Meanwhile at the Libertarian Convention last night…

    • i saw that earlier. what a wacko!

      • Todd20036

        If he were hot, I’d call him wacko

        In his case, he’s just a sad fat man desperate for attention

        • Octavio

          Tru dat.

          • JaniceInToronto

            And yet, I’ll bet he gets laid occasionally…

        • Michael Rush

          … once you get the attention you have to do something with it , I think we have a dead end here .

        • 3-Star

          And believe it or not, someone out there thinks he’s hot.

          • TheManicMechanic

            Rule 34.

          • 3-Star

            I had to look up that one. Ha! Thanks for teaching me something new.

    • popebuck1

      “C-SPAN turned into a hardcore porn channel so gradually, we never noticed until it was too late.”

      • YakHerder

        I see what you did there!

    • David Walker

      Put it on! Put it on!

    • Michael Rush

      The children of People of Walmart are getting a political conscience ?

      http://s33.postimg.org/giakugjn3/walmart_kim.jpg

      • Brian in Valdosta

        I think he works at Hooters. Look at those puppies!

  • bread pants?

    • abel

      Too many carbs!

    • Marides48

      Sour dough bread pants?

    • Steverino

      Worn over hot dog buns.

    • MT YVR

      I’d rather pasta pants. So, you know, I could just noodle around the house.

      …and I’ll see myself out.

      • You do that anyway… even without the pants. Especially without the pants!

    • e jerry powell

      Gluten free?

    • Briochieres?

  • abel

    “The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness…”

    • Robincho

      “The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness…
      Make straight in the desert a highway for our god!’

      Clearly this is a biblical adjuration to attend Burning Man. It’s all right there, people, if ye but have the eyes to see…

  • WebSlinger

    A toilet that let’s you know that you missed a spot when wiping….

    http://37.media.tumblr.com/fc1479521928ea479209fa4a06af122a/tumblr_ms2tnvOKvJ1rcy99do1_500.gif

    • Marides48

      A toilet Go Pro camera with self cleaning leans.

  • John Oliver is so cute.

  • David Walker

    The anti-microwave. It makes stuff cold and freezes foods quickly.

    I miss my Monday morning Matt Baume, but John is a good way to start the week, too.

    • prixator

      Go to the Slog at stranger.com – he posts there regularly.

    • IamM

      He has a YouTube channel & podcasts.
      And he tweets.

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    Modafinil is the reverse Ambien.

    • IamM

      One down.

  • David Walker

    TOT but for post-somber Memorial Day celebration. I’ve been a rabid fan of these guys for years, and they seldom disappoint. As I’ve said before, they prove there are no unattractive people in Slovenia…except possibly the clergy. Dance along if you’re in an air conditioned space.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alkxoyNPPrg

    • Bj Lincoln

      That was fun. Thank you. 🙂

      • David Walker

        You are most welcome.

        • Also proving that, no matter what the language, DICTION rules!! That was terrific, and I actually understood every syllable.

  • Friday

    NerfNukes (TM). 🙂