Idiocracy

Fetterman Trolls QAnon “Body Double” Claims [VIDEO]

The Insider reports: “You know, during my time, during the hospital, the fringy fringies really came up with a conspiracy theory that I have a body double. And I just want you to know that’s just crazy. That’s not true,” Fetterman say in the video. A split-second later, the body double John Fetterman — who is actually just Fetterman, for …

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DeSantis Joins “Righteous” Boycott Of Bud Light, But Says He Prefers To Drink Pro-LGBTQ Guinness Anyway

Florida Politics reports: In comments exclusive to “The Benny Show,” the Governor vowed never to drink the domestic lager again before offering another big reveal of his own: that his favorite brew isn’t even American. “Why would you want to drink Bud Light? I mean, like, honestly that’s like them rubbing our faces in it and it’s like these companies …

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New From QAnon Land: The Deep State Is Putting 5G In Jalapeno Peppers And Toilet Paper For Mind Control

QAnon “influencer” Utsava has new warning on 5G: The deep state has teamed up a taken over the wireless providers such as Verizon and they are hijacking the wireless technology 5G. It has been used as tool for surveillance, mind control, and tracking. People are getting harassed by all sorts of technology. For instance, they make people hear voices. So …

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GOP Deletes Attack On Major Donor Anheuser-Busch

The Daily Beast reports: The National Republican Congressional Committee quietly deleted a fundraising page Saturday that took aim at one of their largest donors, the parent company of Bud Light, Anheuser-Busch. In the 2022 cycle alone, Anheuser-Busch and its employees gave the NRCC $464,505. The NRCC’s back peddling follows conservatives calling for a boycott of the beer company after they …

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Philly Thieves Steal $100,000 In US Mint’s New Dimes

Philadelphia’s CBS affiliate reports: Police are investigating a case of dimes and dash. They say a trailer containing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of dimes was broken into overnight inside a Walmart parking lot in the 4300 block of Byberry Road in Northeast Philadelphia. According to police, the truck had about $750,000 in dimes in it. Investigators believe at …

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Boebert And Elon Musk Join In Call To Defund NPR

The Hill reports: Elon Musk and Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) called for NPR to be defunded after the outlet announced it would no longer use Twitter due to the social media platform slapping it with a “government-funded media” label. “Defund @NPR,” Musk tweeted on Wednesday, after sharing an email that said the media outlet was no longer using Twitter. Boebert …

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GOP Rep Face-Plants In Bud Light Boycott Attempt

The Houston Chronicle reports: Houston-area Congressman Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) joined in on the wave of backlash to the commercial with an Instagram post over the weekend. In a video published to the platform on Sunday, Crenshaw vows to throw out all the Bud Light in his fridge—only to find it stuffed with Karbach. “Saw Bud Light’s stupid ad campaign,” Crenshaw …

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Colbert’s “Indictment Coin” Ad Mocks Trump’s Junk

Mediaite reports: A purported “artist’s rendering of Trump’s penis” was included in a parody ad for a coin commemorating ex-President Donald Trump’s indictment that aired on the CBS television network. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert opened with a gag commercial pegged to the idea of Trump raising money off of the arrest, and included a joke based on Stormy …

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Clarence Thomas’ Benefactor Collects Hitler Artifacts

The Washingtonian reports: When Republican megadonor Harlan Crow isn’t lavishing Justice Clarence Thomas with free trips on his private plane and yacht (in possible violation of Supreme Court ethics rules), he lives a quiet life in Dallas among his historical collections. These collections include Hitler artifacts—two of his paintings of European cityscapes, a signed copy of Mein Kampf, and assorted …

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Musk Admits Being Clueless About NPR’s Funding

NPR reports: Twitter CEO Elon Musk said the platform’s recent labeling of NPR as “state-affiliated media” might not have been accurate during a series of email exchanges that provided a glimpse into the billionaire’s thought process on decisions that reverberate far beyond the social network. Regardless, as of late Thursday, the designation remained. In one email exchange, Musk appeared to …

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Newsmax Host: Trump Looked “Even More Presidential” While Being Arrested, “We’re Talking Eye Of The Tiger”

“President Donald Trump — this was technically in police custody today, going from processing into the arraignment. And somehow he looks even more presidential. “I’m serious. I mean, we’re talking eye of the tiger. This is why so many people are drawn to him, he fights. And, by the way, this is all nonsense. I’ve seen the indictment and it’s …

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Florida Principal Wrote $100K Check To Fake Elon Musk

Orlando’s NBC affiliate reports: The longtime principal of a charter school in southeast Volusia County resigned under fire Tuesday night after it was discovered she wrote a $100,000 check out of the school’s account to an Internet scammer posing as Elon Musk. Jan McGee claims she was scammed online by a fake Elon Musk after spending months talking to this …

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Trump: “Length Is Important For Entertainment Value”

Posted yesterday to Trump’s Trump Social account: Here we go again with the USGA wanting to cut the distance out of a golf ball! Remember, you still have to chip, putt, and do everything else. They really have bigger problems, like LIV. People want to feel and watch the long ball. Also, they want to see the great players hit …

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VIRAL VIDEO: Right Winger Struggles To Define “Woke”

Mediaite reports: Credit where due: Bethany Mandel correctly foretold the viral nature of her awkward answer to a fairly straightforward question about what she meant by “wokeness.” After repeating the word “wokeness” several times, cohost Briahna Joy Gray pressed Mandel on what exactly she meant. “So, I mean, woke is sort of the idea that…” Mandel stammered, after which she …

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Imprisoned Joe Exotic Launches Run For US President

Posted today to Joe Exotic’s website: Thank you for your interest in my Campaign. Yes, I know I am in Federal Prison and you might think this is a joke but it’s not. It is my Constitutional right to do this even from here. I have been put here only because of the corruption in the Department of Justice, three …

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Prominent Anti-Vaxxer Dies Of Horse Paste Side Effects

Vice News reports: Just before 7 am on March 3, Danny Lemoi posted an update in his hugely popular pro-ivermectin Telegram group, Dirt Road Discussions: “HAPPY FRIDAY ALL YOU POISONOUS HORSE PASTE EATING SURVIVORS !!!” Hours later, Lemoi was dead. Lemoi had taken a daily dose of veterinary ivermectin. In 2021, as ivermectin became a popular alternative COVID-19 treatment among …

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Utah “Sovereign Citizen” Killed By Cops In Traffic Stop

Vice News reports: A 25-year-old man who espoused beliefs that aligned with the so-called “sovereign citizen” movement was shot dead by police officers in Utah after being pulled over for driving without a proper license plate. On March 1, Chase Allan, 25, was pulled over by police in the small Utah town of Farmington after cops noticed he was driving …

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GOP To Investigate FTC For Investigating Twitter/Musk

Axios reports: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is teaming up with House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) to investigate the Federal Trade Commission’s investigation of Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover, Axios has learned. Republicans in both congressional chambers now will throw their muscle into investigating FTC actions and defending Musk. Cruz is the top Republican on the Senate Commerce Committee. The “FTC’s …

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Virginia Judge Cites Slavery Law: Embryos Are Property

The Associated Press reports: Frozen human embryos can legally be considered property, or “chattel,” a Virginia judge has ruled, basing his decision in part on a 19th century law governing the treatment of slaves. The preliminary opinion by Fairfax County Circuit Court Judge Richard Gardiner – delivered in a long-running dispute between a divorced husband and wife – is being …

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Trump To Publish Book Of Fawning Letters From Celebs

Axios reports: Former President Trump, in a new book, plans to reveal 150 private letters sent to him — including one from Oprah Winfrey in 2000 in which she says: “Too bad we’re not running for office. What a team!” Trump writes that he still considers Winfrey “amazing” — but admits it’s not mutual: “Sadly, once I announced for President, …

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