Idiocracy

Des Moines’ CBS affiliate reports: The superintendent of Indianola Schools is apologizing after parents say a quote tied to Nazis was included in the morning announcements. On Monday, some Indianola parents shared an email with KCCI, which appears to be the day’s middle school morning announcements. At the bottom, it included the “Respect Quote of the Day,” which was “My …

Gothamist reports: Cute pandas will save the city’s economy – and ease tensions between the United States and China, local billionaire John Catsimatidis declared during a bizarre press conference on Tuesday. “New York is in deep doo-doo right now. We need tourism, we need people to come to New York,” Catsimatidis told reporters at his Midtown office. “Who doesn’t love …

CNN reports: Ben Brody says his life was going fine. He had just finished college, stayed out of trouble, and was prepping for law school. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Elon Musk used his considerable social media clout to amplify an online mob’s misguided rants accusing the 22-year-old from California of being an undercover agent in a neo-Nazi group. The …

The Christian Post reports: For those who believe the Bible is true, John Chau is a hero. John took Jesus seriously when He said, “Go into ALL THE WORLD and make disciples.” John also took Jesus seriously when He said, “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Five years ago this week, 26-year-old John Chau went ashore …

The Associated Press reports: No Labels, a political organization that has alarmed some Democrats with talk of launching a third-party presidential candidate, has contemplated requiring a donation of at least $100 in order to cast a ballot at the group’s upcoming nominating convention, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press. The idea, which breaks from longstanding norms, would raise …

“You know, some people are real strong behind a keypad, but when they get called out, it’s completely different. People asked me, too, ‘Is this becoming of a U.S. senator.’ And, I’m like, man, I’m a guy from Oklahoma first. In Oklahoma, you don’t run your mouth like that, and if you do run your mouth like that, you’re expected …

The Daily Beast reports: Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) said he was nobly representing “Oklahoma values” when he challenged a union boss to a fight Tuesday. Speaking about the incident with Mullin on Fox News on Tuesday night, Sean Hannity praised Mullin’s actions, saying any other response would have been “gutless.” Mullin agreed, then said: “What did people want me to …

“The world is on fire. You don’t have to look farther than our president. We have today – we have the weakest president in the history of the United States. The guy doesn’t even know what planet he’s on. And of course, our enemies can see that. So what’s better time to take advantage of the situation? The guy can’t …

Knoxville’s ABC affiliate reports: Police in Tazewell say Henry Meade, 40, was operating “Santa’s Train” at the town’s Christmas Tractor Parade — i.e., driving a motorized lawn mower that he was using to pull carts full of children and their families. On Saturday evening, visitors at the event said they saw Moore acting erratically. Local police officers were soon alerted …

The Washington Examiner reports: A Senate hearing got heated on Tuesday when Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) stood up in an apparent move to physically fight Teamsters President Sean O’Brien. The move came after O’Brien — testifying before the Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions, about unions — challenged Mullin to a fight in June on Twitter. In a tweet, …

“So RFK Jr. gets up and walks to the bathroom. And as he’s walking to the bathroom, I realize the guy has no shoes on, and no socks. And the floor is covered with food, and, like, disgusting food! He’s walking to the restroom with no shoes and no socks on. He goes into the restroom, sockless, something I’ve literally …

From the far-right “satire” site Babylon Bee: The Lord has granted a World Series championship to the Texas Rangers, the one and only Major League Baseball team to not host a Pride Night. After over fifty years of championship futility, the Texas Rangers finally captured the World Series title in the same year the team became the final Major League …

Via press release from Starbucks: It’s OK, you can look now! The holidays arrive in U.S. Starbucks stores on Nov. 2, and we’re here to tell you all about this year’s bright and beautiful collection of holiday cups. The cup collection is clad in holiday red and Starbucks greens and a mood-boosting magenta, each one accented with sparkles for a …

Politico reports: In the last few weeks, posts mocking Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ strangely shaped cowboy boots have racked up millions of views on Twitter and TikTok, with online sleuths trying to determine whether he’s wearing height-boosting insoles to pump himself up against a 6’3” primary frontrunner with a penchant for nicknames who reportedly considered calling DeSantis “Tiny D.” Three …

Florida Politics reports: The Governor told PBT Podcast listeners that he’s wearing “standard off the rack Lucchese” boots. He said that because he is just 1 inch shy of 6 feet tall, he doesn’t need extra height from footwear. Asked why he simply doesn’t wear dress shoes or tennis shoes, the Governor said he does in fact “wear tennis shoes …

Jordan Campbell writes for Charisma News: We don’t celebrate Halloween is because satanic activity is real. As a second-generation deliverance minister, having worked with severe trauma survivors, it saddens me to see families opening doors to such darkness as they participate in Halloween. There is no light in it. The witchcraft, spells, incantations, curses, rituals, sacrifices—all of this is real, …

The Christian Post reports: Exactly how was an Orthodox Christian aristocrat transformed into the most infamous bloodsucking vampire of all time? And is anti-Christian historical revisionism to blame? While most of us have heard the name Dracula at some point, it’s usually in the context of Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel or the countless movies and TV shows based on that …

The Associated Press reports: Michigan State athletic director Alan Haller said he has suspended an employee involved in allowing Adolf Hitler’s image to be shown on videoboards before playing No. 2 Michigan. The employee, who was not named, will be paid pending an investigation that will help to determine potential action in the future. Haller said no one in the …

Click2Houston reports: A prominent Houston pastor has been ordered to pay $2.45 million to a woman that a jury found he gave herpes to. After a three-day trial and six and a half hours of deliberation, the jury unanimously found Rev. Ralph D. West II liable. “You can’t fix it, she’s got it for the rest of her life,” said …

The Daily Beast reports: Though some moderate Republicans planned to nominate Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) for House Speaker, he reportedly told colleagues in a Tuesday party meeting not to put him forward, according to Punchbowl News. It would leave two candidates: Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) and Steve Scalise (R-LA), who will both speak at the House GOP’s candidate forum on …