Via press release:
Apparently, zombies are too busy eating brains to use theirs! In a surprise announcement, fans of the flesh-devourers were sad to learn that the annual “Walker Stalker Convention” in North Carolina is being delayed over H.B. 2. Of course, most dead people don’t need bathrooms — but in some parts of the country, they do vote with regularity. Organizers say they’re postponing the gore from June to December in hopes that Governor Pat McCrory (R-N.C.) will be so persuaded by the zombies’ decision that he’ll force businesses to adopt the Left’s unpopular policy.
“Walker Stalker Convention has always been a place for ALL fans, regardless of who they are, or who they love. As such, we must add our voice to those opposing the injustice of North Carolina House Bill 2” said the zombie faithful. Apparently, zombies, like most on the Left, don’t read — or they’d know that all H.B. 2 does is stop the government from forcing businesses to adopt gender-confused bathrooms.
The LGBT(Z) push got another boost in London this week, when President Obama decided to ignore the important crises of the world and update Britain on America’s P.C. W.C.s. In another embarrassing display of the president’s backwards and dangerous priorities, he took time to blast North Carolina and Mississippi. Measures that protect religious liberty and public safety, Obama insisted, “are wrong and should be overturned.”
The president also took time out for other crucial issues — like memorializing Prince. Maybe if President Obama focused his attention on keeping America safe instead of bullying North Carolina over bathrooms, ISIS wouldn’t be infiltrating America, Russia wouldn’t be taunting our military and Iran, and North Korea wouldn’t be testing our resolve by firing ballistic missiles.