Bill O’Reilly Is Totally “Mad At God” For Not Protecting Him From Multiple Sexual Harassment Allegations

Yahoo News reports:

Bill O’Reilly says he’s mad at God over the sexual harassment allegations that drove him off the air at Fox News earlier this year. “You know, am I mad at God? Yeah, I’m mad at him,” the devout Catholic said on his subscription web series, according to CNN. “I wish I had more protection. I wish this stuff didn’t happen. I can’t explain it to you. Yeah, I’m mad at him.”

He said again that he settled with several accusers ― including a $32 million settlement reported over the weekend by The New York Times ― to protect his family. O’Reilly said the newspaper’s latest report was an effort to “kill” him after his new book made the bestseller lists.

  • pj

    another way to protect your family is not to assault women who work with you.

    • Todd Allis

      But that’s (apparently) difficult!

      • Lizard

        It is if you’re an entitled asshole who thinks it’s their fault for complaining.

    • Snarkaholic

      If you have 32 million dollars lying around, that could buy you lots of “protection”, in the form of porn, willing hookers, therapy, etc.

      • The_Wretched

        For 32 million, you could set up personal bordellos in multiple locations. I suspect that would only sort of work for him though. Else he wouldn’t be doing multiple assaults.

      • JAKvirginia

        But, I’ve never paid for it!
        — Bill O (allegedly)

        • Snarkaholic

          …or for much of anything else, from what I’ve read.

        • Todd20036

          Yeah, because he’s so gorgeous and personable, women are just throwing themselves at his feet.

      • Todd20036

        It’s not that he couldn’t get laid (though yeah, he’d seriously have to pay for it), it’s that he wants to control women, bring them down to his level, treat them like sex toys to be discarded when you get bored of them.

        It’s sort of dominant/submissive thing, except one of the parties is NOT consenting.

        And if you think I’m describing rape or sexual assault, you win a kewpie doll.

    • Dave B

      Where’s the fun in that? When you have God with his get-out-jail free card.

    • Gerry Fisher


  • liondon#iamnotatraitor

    Not the behavior…just the allegations.

  • Dan Ryan

    “Devout Catholic” nuff said

  • Lazycrockett


  • pj

    he better ask don for some of his orange makeup.

  • Gustav2

    The RCC didn’t teach you correctly. You can’t rape on Friday, be a family man starting on Saturday, confess on Sunday and expect zero consequences on Monday.

    • GayOldLady

      But all that money he’s given to the RCC, doesn’t that count for something? Won’t that buy him something?

      • clay

        a weekend on Long Island

      • MBear


        • clay

          he’s been indulged too long.

        • GayOldLady

          There was a time in the RCC you could literally buy your way out of hell.

          • MBear


          • Snarkaholic

            Thanks, Martin Luther!

          • GayOldLady

            Except he just started a different strain of bullshittery.

          • Snarkaholic


          • Tawreos

            I bet it won’t cost him as much to buy his way out of hell as it sis to buy him out of sexual assault charges

      • Gustav2

        Wait, you mean the Reformation (the 500th anniversary on the 31st) didn’t stop indulgences? Wouldn’t surprise me.

    • JAKvirginia

      Well, unless your a priest.

      • Gustav2

        Then you get to retire in Rome!

        • JAKvirginia

          Ah, YES! Sunny Italy!

          • Gustav2

            In a palace!

          • JAKvirginia

            With Swiss Guards! Yum!

            (Uh.. what were we talking about?)

          • Snarkaholic

            …with countless, poor/starving/desperate people begging at the entrance, for you to ignore/feel superior to!

    • MBear

      isnt that essentially what catholicism is all about?
      Do bad shit
      Feel morally superior

    • jerry

      Theme song for the Catholic confessional:

  • Blake J Butler
    • JAKvirginia

      We’ll have tee-shirts made!

      • TampaDink

        Half of America would give their eye teeth to take a whack at weasel.

  • Tatonka

    If I listen very closely, I can hear the faint strains of a tiny violin over the incessant skreeeee of my tinnitus.

  • greenmanTN

    Well you know what they say, “The Lord works in hilarious ways.”

  • Sashineb
  • GayOldLady

    Don’t be mad at God, Bill, SHE was just giving you a little dose of Karma. There’s plenty more on the way. Get off the stage and stop lying about the women who you assaulted/molested and maybe the Goddess will let up on you.

  • Boreal

    He should be mad at his micropenis, which clearly does his thinking for him.

    • clay

      I think I ought to down-vote that gif.

      • Boreal

        Do it! I was offended by it too but such a good likeness of the Loofah Luftwaffen that I had to post.

  • The_Wretched

    Bill, no gods exist – especially not the xtian one. Rely on imagined characters at your own peril!

    Even if the OT and NT gods existed and were the same entity (somehow, don’t ask too many questions), it’s not clear why that deity should aid your cover-up of sinning.

    Maybe a priest lied to you for donations?

  • Michael R
  • bkmn

    And the NYT article sent out big red flags to any company that might hire him that his sexual harassment lawsuits alone could bankrupt them.

  • Butch

    God should have stopped you from doing stuff you did voluntarily?

  • madknits

    Yeah, it’s God’s fault that you sexually harass women.

    • Gustav2

      It is because God made him soooooo purdy. Women throw themselves at him and file charges later.

      • madknits

        If he were the last man on earth, I’d start dating women again.

        • Todd20036

          If he were the last man on earth, I’d become a cannibal that one time, and no one would ever know.
          Plus the extra bonus of literally shitting out O’Reilly

  • Pollos Hermanos
  • Daveed_WOW

    Classic toxic narcissist. The problem isn’t the atrocities that he committed. The problem is getting caught and having to pay. Shame on everyone who buys his books.

    • JAKvirginia

      A relation read his books. Opinion? History for Dummies.

  • Sam_Handwich

    your moldy patriarchal religious beliefs are the problem, not the solution

  • HZ81

    Deluded sexual predator believes in a fantasy life free of guilt for the crimes he’s committed? No way.

  • crewman

    Fake outrage at a fake entity. He’s in his comfort zone.

  • Ninja0980

    Maybe God listen to the prayers of some of the women you were harassing or worse and decided their prayers were more valid then yours Bill, ever think of that?

    • clay

      Don’t be silly, women can’t pray– they don’t have souls. Women can only appear to pray.*

      *official RCC doctrine of about 1000 years ago.

  • Lazycrockett
    • Treant

      And nobody told the truth. “No, because you’re an unstable moron and a dotard in the final throes of dementia.”

    • The_Wretched

      I’m starting to wonder if Trump knows he’s Trump.

    • Gustav2

      Holy Fuck.

    • CB

      Another reason I shouldn’t read this stuff during lunch.

    • Ernest Endevor

      Because he’s bonkers.

  • joe ho

    Religion is a mental illness. Stanford neuroscientist explains why.

    • Statistics Palin

      This is brilliant.

  • Lars Littlefield

    OT: Breaking News!

    NAFTA is dead. We are now at war with Canada and Mexico.

    • Tawreos

      Great, Trump will be happy that he will get to watch the nukes detonating.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      Good! Either one can claim us and we will be better off.

      • Lars Littlefield

        My other half insists I only keep him around because I regard him as a potential escape plan if the world becomes unlivable in the US. He’s from Mexico City, but has three uncles who run a pastoral and successful mescal distillery in San Baltazar Guelavila 10 miles outside of Oaxaca, MX. That’s just one of many reasons I keep him around. 😛

  • PickyPony
    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      Can I pet your pony ?

      • clay

        Pet it? Go all the way and ask for a ride!

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          Bareback ?!

          • clay

            Not necessarily.

        • Lars Littlefield


  • Mike

    No doubt there will soon be a new bestselling door-stopper named “Killing Me.” Poor li’l Bill, nobody feels sorry for a bully who gets his comeuppance. Maybe he needs a new mission. Killing God? That bastard has it coming.

  • Treant

    I suppose it requires less introspection than being mad at yourself for committing at least 32 sexual assaults.

  • kelven

    Well, of course he is. Because in his mind God is an old white man version of himself.

  • joe ho

    There’s as much credible evidence for the existence of Bill’s divine Jesus as there is for the Aztec Huitzilopochtli whose worship demanded receiving the still beating hearts of human sacrificial victims.

  • JAKvirginia

    I’m “mad at God” that you were born and still exist.

  • j.martindale

    Megan Kelly lied about you. Yeah, right.

  • Joe in PA

    I’d like to ask his family if they would rather have the $32M.

  • Mrs. Councillor Nugent

    Dear Bill, keeping your zipper closed properly proves remarkably helpful in such situations

    • clay

      Unfortunately, that still leaves his hands free.

      • Stubenville

        Handcuffs. Ooh, shiny!

      • Lars Littlefield

        And his mouth open.

  • TampaDink

    Sending Bill & his invisible sky daddy thoughts & prayers…I hope that they make up soon.

  • Michael R

    He’s not mad at God , he just wants his money back .

    • clay

      Same thing?

    • Halou

      Even though Fox is paying the $32 million for him, he doesn’t have to pay as much as a penny towards his victims. But still, woe is he.

      • Tom Mears

        keep in mind he is self-employed now. If he continues his old ways, and there is no reason to expect he won’t, the next settlement will be out of his pocket.

  • BearEyes

    blame everyone instead of yourself.
    You realise your god is still a myth, right?

  • Halou

    It is someone else’s fault that he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Whatever happened to the “party of personal responsibility”?

    • JAKvirginia

      Not for THEM! For you!

  • Jefe5084

    So, Bill the Pill, you think your god, hateful, vengeful, and horrible as it is, took the time to make you out of shit so you could be hateful to women and everyone else? Delusional punk.

  • joe ho

    Don’t worry, Bill. In the ultimately immoral Christian system all you have to do is accept JC and ask for forgiveness. The only thing that will not be forgiven is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Rape, kill, steal? No problemo. You’re forgiven.

    This is the same system of Judeo-Christian “morality” that forbids you to covet your neighbor’s slave but does not forbid you to own a slave.

    A thoughtful examination of the 10 Commandments shows that Judeo-Christian claims to a moral high ground are a fraud.

  • Richard Rush

    It’s gotta hurt knowing that God chose to protect Trump, but refused to protect O’Reilly.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Patriarchialist blames Daddy. Because of course.

  • clay

    “If only God hadn’t given them long hair.
    If only God hadn’t given them shoulders the shape of breasts.
    If only God hadn’t given them breasts.
    If only God hadn’t given them cleavage(s).
    If only God hadn’t given them that damp hole.
    If only God hadn’t given them . . . hadn’t given them . . .
    If only God hadn’t given them voices?
    Oh, if only God hadn’t given them to us.


  • Phillip in L.A.

    If you admit that G-d spoke to you and forced you to assault those women, then–and only then–can we start to get you the help you need, Mr O’Reilly

  • Friday

    The “Party of Personal Responsibility” strikes again.

  • JWC

    Ya O’Reilly fer Chrissake don’t ever accept any blame for your own actions you dumb idiot

  • edrex

    o’reilly pietat. job’s got nothing on you, eh buddy? why hast god forsaken thee?

  • MichaelJ

    Yet another conservative unwilling to take personal responsibility for their actions and words, particularly how it affects others.

  • Pizza009

    I thought atheists were ‘mad at god’

    • clay

      mad at God / denying God
      denying God because we’re mad at God?
      We’re just passive aggressive, non-generous lovers?

    • The_Wretched

      About the same as we’re ‘mad at darth vader’.

    • Jefe5084

      speaking as an atheist, my view is that there is no god to be mad at. saved for being mad at idiots like Bill the Pill.

      • Pizza009

        I am very mad at invisible pink unicorns. Little fuckers poop all over my yard!

  • dbishop75

    typical sexual abuser/rapist – cannot take responsibility for their own actions, have to place blame somewhere else. what a fucking piece of total shit!

  • It’s totes god’s fault that he sexually harassed all those women. How dare they complain about it or sue!

  • thatotherjean

    What’s that old saying? “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.” No sympathy, Bill-o.

  • KnownDonorDad

    Sexual harassment, Teabagistan can forgive, but being mad at God? This may break him.

  • Stubenville

    And I’m totes mad at God for not making me a gazillionaire. [pout]

  • Pablo Sánchez

    Considering his ego, I would guess “God” is what he calls his penis. And if this is the case, then I would agree: Its all Gods fault. (Finally, something Obama is not responsible for.)

    • Gianni

      That actually makes sense and I can see how such minds as his would make that connection.

  • Adam Stevens

    A man who lies to others is kind of an asshole, but a man that will lie to himself isn’t really much of a man at all, O’Reilly.

    Your destiny of assholery is almost complete, you douche.

  • boobert

    Let me get this right, it’s god’s fault if you do bad things and get caught? Typical hypocrisy !

  • Dayglo

    God, in turn, will smite him with His terrible swift falafel.

  • jimbo65

    “I wish I had more protection. I wish this stuff didn’t happen. I can’t explain it to you. Yeah, I’m mad at him.”

    Wow Bill-O. Ever occur to you that a person enduring a sexual assault, molestation, is thinking the same thing? Only they have truly done nothing to deserve the horrible thing happening to them. So in other words, eat shit and die asshole.

  • Gianni

    Seriously? You are mad at God because you actually figured He should protect you from other people talking about what a scumbag you are? And just how would God do that, Bill? Make everyone else as stupid and asinine as you? I’m actually slightly in awe at how he just one-upped Donnie with this “mad at God’ thing. The absolute shamelessness that Bill and Donnie routinely demonstrate is truly incomprehensible to me. The perpetrator becomes the victim and expects others to see that, understand it, and support them for the delusion.

  • Robert Adams

    Considering that God is rumored to have done it to a virgin without her permission, why would God protect ol’ Bill? God probably welcomed him to the club.

  • Ben in Oakland

    A devout catholic who is at the same time a serial adulterer?

    Somehow, I think devout doesn’t mean what you seem to think it means.

    I think the word you want is “gingriched”. As in “Bill, a serial adulterer, is a gingriched Catholic.”

    • Gianni

      The twisted logic of religious thinking is a wonder to behold, especially when it comes to sin and forgiveness.

      • Ben in Oakland

        As jEsus is my sock puppet, you’re right!

        • Gianni

          That image is funny. 🙂 However, God normally does agree with whatever the believers think and want.

          • Ben in Oakland

            And he forgives the. Their sins, no matter how many times they “fall”, repent, and fal again.

      • -M-

        True. They’re forgiven or even justified for lying, cheating, stealing, threatening etc… But they have no doubt that you’re going straight to hell for suggesting that maybe just maybe God isn’t the evil monster they make him out to be.

        • Gianni

          It’s a fact that good and true Christians know more about everyone else’s sins and failings than their own. If they ever thought about that, heaven knows, they might have to consider working at being nicer, kinder, more understanding, live-and-let-live people.

    • BobSF_94117

      Indeed. What is any “news” organization doing calling him devout?

  • Macbill

    That God is a Bitch at times.

  • Jefe5084

    The man looks more like Bannon every day. Morphing. Should not leave house without his Bill-O makeup.

  • KarenAtFOH

    He’s been mad at someone or other for a very long time:

    • Lars Littlefield

      This version may be longer and uncut, but you can be damn sure his dick doesn’t enjoy the same status. The fucking asshat.

      (Am I being too harsh?) :’)

      • KarenAtFOH

        The director guy is a parody added after the fact, but I thought the combination was really hilarious.

      • Tor


      • janey

        no, not at all. I was thinking and missing Lorena Bobbitt.

  • anne marie in philly

    since there is no god, your anger is misplaced, you fucking dickwad! keep your dick in your pants and your fat white ignorant mouth shut from now on!

  • bambinoitaliano

    How dare god forsaken me when I pay so much into his churches!!! Where is my pardon?! I want my pardon!

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • worstcultever


  • -M-

    I confused, thought it was atheists an’ libruls who hated gawd all pouty?

  • Tom Furgas

    I’m glad I don’t believe in a God who would protect serial sexual predators.

  • Capritaur

    The hubris of a rich, old white man rivals the fictional omnipotence and divinity of God.

  • Paula

    A subscription web series? I guess there is enough assholes in the country to keep this asshole semi-relevant.

  • mikeinftl

    So Bill God created you as a sexual predator, what does that say about your God?

  • In other words, God is pissed at Bill O’Reilly for being a serial sexual harasser.

  • grimnebulin2

    “Dick goes in, dick goes out. I can’t explain that.”

  • Gregory B

    He’s mad at God, eh? Picture it:
    God to Bill: Hey Billy Boy, feeling a little randy, eh?
    Bill to God: Fuck yea, you know it my lord and savior!
    God: C’mon, give her a little rub, grab her by the pussy. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you. Grab her hard.
    Bill obeys God. Bill gets nailed for sexual harassment and God laughs and laughs, tears streaming out of his eyes. “Good ol Bill, he falls for it every time. Bill you’re such a douche!”

  • Gene Perry

    Nope, sorry Bill. It’s not God’s fault that you cannot keep it in your pants.

  • ECarpenter

    As Linda Smith once said, “If God had wanted everyone to believe in him, he would have existed.”

  • David Kerlick

    His God is a violent sexual predator.

  • Tor

    What a mixed up asshole. He’s angry he got caught, not repentant for any of his sins, and it’s God’s fault. Republican projection in the extreme.

  • Chucktech

    Mysterious ways, motherfucker, mysterious ways…

  • boatboy_srq

    “mad at God”

    Because of course it’s God’s fault you’re a lying sexist douchenozzle.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    “I wish I had more protection…”

    Said your victims.

    What a pompous, self-important asshole.

  • Octoberfurst

    God– always letting good people like Bill down. Why serve him Billy if he doesn’t even have the decency to protect you from sexual harassment law suits? Some “God” eh?

  • Elsewhere1010

    And God is pissed at you right back. You and your “cultural warrior” nonsense have damaged God’s image, perhaps irreparably, by making God into a buffoon for supporting your “Christian” claims.

    Remember Job? No, not the Apple guy, the one from “Book of”? God has hardly gotten started with you yet.

  • Friday’s_cat

    God still do lightening strikes or plagues of locusts?
    He could have protected Bill by sending either one and putting him out of our misery.

  • acde

    I can never figure out how a “devout Catholic” can reconcile any of this with his so called faith/god

  • GanymedeRenard

    Mad at your god because you’re a sexist pig? Right.

  • kmcdevitt

    God helps those who help themselves, or so I hear. Maybe if you’d behaved like a decent person to begin with, you lecherous old fuck…

    • FelineMama

      Yea, Right. Isn’t there something in that bible book & upbringing that says ‘gawd’ gives you free will? So, in the end, Choices are YOURS, O’Really!!
      Hypocrisy claims another Fool. DEVOUT Catholic. Sorry, Liar, Liar pants on Fire!!!
      Shame on You, Blamin’ Your god. Not wise if you are a believer, billy.

  • tim870

    Proof that not even God wants to think about Bill O’Reilly and sex at the same time.

  • marshlc


    He must not have had the kind of Catholic upbringing I did. I can hear the voices of nuns echoing through my head right now ….. “I want you to think about what you did wrong, and what you can do to fix it. ”

    “I wish this stuff didn’t happen. I can’t explain it to you.” would not have passed muster with Mother Mary Ellen, I tell ya.

  • kennkoy

    And there’s the title for your next bestseller: “Killing Bill O’Reilly.” Spoiler alert – it was the failed New York Times.

  • wds

    Of course he did it to “protect his family” – especially the one he dragged down the stair by her hair in front of the kids … typical “family values” right there …
    Anyone want to bet when he’ll be back at Faux news?

  • JCF

    Roger Ailes was your “god”, asshole.

  • Ann Kah

    Who is next, Bill. Have you run out of real people to blame, and you’ve been forced to move on to the supernatural now? No, Bill, it’s all your fault. Grow up and own it.

  • leastyebejudged

    lol, he’s so relate-able !

  • Joe

    YEAH, blame someone else instead of taking responsibility and getting help for one’s own sick behaviors. Blaming God just shows how little contact he has with reality and how character logically shallow he is.

  • Joe K

    I wonder how old his little kiddies are, that they need protection, from Daddy’s crimes. Maybe as old as Weinstein’s daughter, kinda like adults, you know what I’m saying? Maybe they would disown him for this shit? Speak up children, defend your father.

    • John Doedy


      • Joe K