Tony Perkins Has The Tom Price Resignation Sadz

Last week hate group leader Tony Perkins declared that Democrats had “invented” Tom Price’s private jet scandal in order to keep him from stopping abortions. In a separate press release, Perkins also claimed that “most STDS are incurable.” It took Perkins six days, but he’s finally issued a reaction to Price’s resignation that manages to link both of those lies. An excerpt:

Tom Price may have cleared out his office at the Department of Health and Human Services – but what he left behind says volumes. After the liberals’ “gotcha” moment (a series of charter plane trips that were reportedly cleared by agency lawyers), Price resigned, walking away from one of the most influential jobs in Washington. For conservatives, it was a frustrating moment. Losing one of the most pro-family members of Trump’s cabinet was a huge blow to the movement, which was looking forward to rolling back eight years of anti-life, anti-freedom, health “care.”

As we’ve seen, liberals will fight anyone with a backbone to push Trump’s agenda. The director of the AIDS Institute couldn’t hide his disdain for the agency’s goals for the next five years. “It’s not that we’re against faith-based groups,” he insisted. “We just want to make sure that these groups will not withhold condoms, withhold messages that are important to prevent HIV, particularly among gay men, among transgender people.”

But the irony of that statement is that conservatives are the ones who have — not just the best messages — but the solution for the spread of disease: abstain! The CDC just announced one of the greatest spikes in STDs in history, and we’re not going to stop STDs using the same failed approach — throwing money at the problem, and never addressing its source! It’s time for an honest conversation about American health care. Tom Price started one. Let’s hope Donald Trump picks a conservative bold enough to continue it.

  • bkmn

    All I want for Christmas is to see Mueller take down Trump, and all the Teavangelicals that put him in office.

    • Rex

      Yes, the “Trump’s been booted out of office sadz” will be the ultimate sadz case ever.

      • bkmn

        Especially if Tony is in cuffs right behind him.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      That just might get me into the “Christmas spirit”, a Christmas miracle, if you will.

    • Friday’s_cat

      Santa can’t help you with your first wish but he has advice to make your second wish reality. Use the power of your purse.
      If you have cable or dish contact your provider, let them know you will take your custom elsewhere if they don’t make the jesus channels an extra cost option.
      Don’t listen to any Cumulus Media or iHeartRadio outlets since they are the main purveyors of AM Hate Radio.
      Do not patronize any advertisers supporting Hate on any media.
      Starve the beast.

      • cleos_mom

        Add to that the “patriot channel” on Sirius.

        Although if you’re convinced that Mark Levin is going to blow out a cerebral artery on the air sooner or later, you might tune in occasionally for the hysterics.

    • Todd20036

      You know, I read your comment as, “All I want for Christmas is to see Mueller go down on Trump.”

      Naturally, I blame you.

      • kareemachan

        That’s just…. ew.

      • Acronym Jim

        That comment was a pretty good impression of a conservative. Now do John Wayne!

        • Todd20036

          “I don’t know how to quit you… pardner.”

      • bambinoitaliano

        I’m sure Team Mueller will have the specialty team to investigate the pee tape evidence too.

        • Miji

          Just for a bit of psychological warfare they should add someone to their team with legal expertise in sexual assault as well as getting someone with expertise in forensic video analysis on retainer. Of course the one thing that does leak from Mueller’s team is their hires.

    • TexasBoy

      Money hungry white Jesus would cry.

      • bkmn

        let him weep

    • bambinoitaliano

      And we will do the happy dance to celebrate.
      https://youtu.be/OZqz94ODz18

      • dr tod

        Goosebumps! The talent, the imagination, the gayness. Certain to make Christmas merry.

      • prixator

        FabUlous!

  • olandp

    Abstinence works, just ask Bristol Palin. The “Bible belt” has the highest instance of teen pregnancy, all that Immaculate conception…

    • Skokieguy [Larry]

      Beat me to it!

      • olandp

        By mere seconds…

    • Rex

      They can’t even make the evangelicals keep it in their pants. How very 1950 of them to think people aren’t going to have sex until they’re married.

      • olandp

        That didn’t even work then.

    • BJORN RAGNVALDR

      Yeah, the bible belt sure do’t believe in the chastity belt.

    • Todd20036

      Most of my “conception” is far from immaculate… It’s more fun that way

      • cleos_mom

        Imagine getting knocked up via your ears.

        Don’t laugh — that’s the classic official version of Jesus’ conception; the capitalized Immaculate Conception supposedly occurred a generation earlier.

    • kareemachan

      I just smile when I think of bristol running around after her brats. Not much time to vomit forth your crap now, right, brissy?

  • Dagoril

    Pretty much anything that makes Tonette sad fills me with joy hehe. Hell I might even look more favorably upon Cancer if I knew he didn’t like it 😉

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    Tony, you got your wish. BREAKING: Bristol Palin has been nominated as the new head of the HHS. Her agenda of promoting abstinence will stop the rise in STDs and unwanted pregnancies. MAGA!

  • DaddyRay

    I am torn between wanting Tony Perkins or Donald Trump being the top search results when Googling the word Moron

    • greenmanTN

      Or “dirt nap”

    • kareemachan

      Or “moran” would work, too, also.

    • Friday’s_cat

      Indicted would be better.

    • Tawreos

      Right now Tillerson and Trump are sharing the top spot

  • Gustav2

    As we’ve seen, Christianists fight any reality based policies.

    • Silver Badger

      Just plain old reality.

      • Treant

        He coulda stopped at the word “fight.”

  • Butch

    I think “abstain” would have been excellent advice for your parents, Tony old chap. But seriously – do these people actually believe a word that’s coming out of their mouths or it is just a way to keep the rubes shoveling money in their direction? I suspect the latter.

  • Treant

    OT: Nate officially formed. The path has it curving further west than yesterday…but fortunately, as a minimal hurricane.

    http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/storm_graphics/AT16/refresh/AL162017_5day_cone_no_line_and_wind+png/114308_5day_cone_no_line_and_wind.png

    • Butch

      And guess who is supposed to be leaving for Cozumel? Could it be someone posting on this blog? Could it be someone who rode out 100 mph winds in a tropical cyclone last February that lifted the roof off his bungalow at 3 a.m. and soaked him and all his belonging, with no electricity to run a dryer and torrential rains that continued for 5 days, preventing any of this belonging from drying out? (There is much more to this story, but I’ll spare you.) Is this person wondering if he should ever travel again?

      • Treant

        I couldn’t imagine? Is Joe going to Cozumel? 🙂

        Seriously. That sounds sucky. At least Nate isn’t that strong and looks like it’ll pass by very early Saturday morning, never getting worse than a tropical storm.

        As to how they land a plane in a tropical storm…I guess they don’t.

        • Butch

          We were smart enough (for once) to buy travel insurance, so we’re just delaying a few days. Still, it’s a little discouraging.

      • Silver Badger

        Don’t have a clue. Is it you?

      • madknits

        Maybe this year a nice ski vacation in the Alps?

  • kareemachan

    Jeez, Tony’s a [bleeped}.

    • barrixines

      Your restraint is admirable.

  • barrixines

    Making America Gestate Again.

    • Treant

      I tried to gestate once, but nobody thought I was all that funny and I went back to my day job.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Don’t try to incubate then. Boring AF

        • Treant

          I don’t have sharp corners at 90° so I couldn’t possibly incubate.

          • Silver Badger

            I’m sure that if you tried you would find a way.

    • cleos_mom

      With said gestation being a “pre-existing condition” and costing mega$$$s accordingly.

      • barrixines

        The restraints the forced birthers are going use to shackle you to the bed for nine months don’t come cheap.

  • netxtown

    Do we dare ask what % of the STD spike is…..christians who didn’t abstain? Any guesses? 🙂

    • Friday’s_cat

      Republican legislators picking something up in airport restrooms from total strangers?

      • Silver Badger

        STD, excuse me, STI’s are about the only things republicans share.

  • PickyPecker
    • Todd20036

      The rose petals really make it.

    • pj

      fall version

    • Are those cherry blossom petals? Tony Perkins doesn’t deserve something that nice.

  • Max_1
    • Stephen Elliot Phillips

      Entitlement personified.

    • Silver Badger

      Enough with her period.

    • Halou

      She has Sean Spicer in her mouth.

    • Treant

      She means the “job period,” which, like Ivanka’s periods, usually means about 2 weeks long.

      After that, they’re out the revolving door, knife installed in their back.

      • Silver Badger

        Poor Jared. He’s better off with Another Steve.

    • pj

      our princess speaks

    • Jefe5084

      Translation: “He hires the most incompetent, hateful, vengeful, rich, white person for the job. Period.”

      There. All fixed.

  • Halou

    “The CDC just announced one of the greatest spikes in STDs in history”

    And just look at where the infections are being reported. In the same parts of the country where the only options are conservative ‘abstinence only’ sex education or literally nothing, where homeschooling is most prevalent, and where the church all but has veto power over what is and isn’t in the curriculum of schools.

    You can’t blame the Democrats and other left-wingers when the far-right mob holds the majority of the power at local, state and federal levels. If there is a ‘spike’ in sexually transmitted infections it is because the people in charge are behaving badly, perhaps too busy milking money from taxpayers despite already being multimillionaires to pay any attention to the job they signed up for.

    • Brandon McCarthy had a fantastic response to the “abstinence” nonsense:

      https://twitter.com/bmccarthy32/status/819966963891875840

    • madknits

      A couple or four of us in the Big Easy Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence got together before Pride in June and made “bliss bags”, a baggie with two condoms, two packets of lube, two breath mints, and an info card on safer sex and PREP. We were told we could not pass them out, because Pride is a “family friendly” event. This idea was pushed by the Roman Catholic Church and by the Southern Baptists. Next year I’ll figure a way to pass them out, maybe at the block party, which is not an official Pride event, and is sponsored by a bar.

    • ChrisMorley

      ‘However, from 2008 to 2014 the number of annual HIV infections among gay or bisexual men remained steady at about 26,000 per year, an encouraging stabilization after more than a decade of increases.’ https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/docs/factsheets/cdc-msm-508.pdf

      We can now expect to see the rate of new HIV infections among gay and bi men in the US fall significantly, as they are falling in Europe, Canada and Australia/New Zealand.

      We’ve reached a major Tipping Point in new HIV infections among gay/bi men, as the impact of frequent regular testing, the early start of treatment of people who are newly diagnosed rapidly make people diagnosed with HIV uninfectious, and use of HIV drugs for HIV prevention by those who are HIV negative (both reactive after condomless sex (PEP), and preventative (PrEP), further causes HIV transmission rates to plunge.
      Tony doesn’t share key facts.

  • Talisman

    Someone needs to do a health & safety check at Perkins’ house…paying special attention in the basement. There just had to be someone chained up down there.

  • GanymedeRenard

    Sure, because the best way to avoid bronco-respiratory diseases is to stop breathing altogether, right? Idiot.

  • Halou

    Ask African children born with HIV and other terrible infections whether the “Condoms are bad” message paid for and spread by the church has done them any favours.

    • Todd20036

      They’re black. Let them die.
      If Perkins ever swallowed a truth serum, that’s how he’d respond to your comment.

  • worstcultever

    Not that anybody cares, but I’m not reading any more stories about this fuckheaded asshole.

    • barrixines

      Not even an obit?

      • worstcultever

        Now *that* I would read with relish, mustard, and a round of Dom Perignons for the house!

        • barrixines

          Mental health test past with flying colours.

      • Treant

        Certain exceptions will be made, I’m sure.

      • Reality.Bites

        Who can read while they’re dancing?

    • octobercountry

      Good idea…

  • Todd20036

    Gee Perkins. Great solution. Just stop having sex. Your own damned allies can’t even do that.
    Ask Bristol. Ask Price. Ask fucking Jim Bakker.

    If you’re side can’t do it, then how can you promote it as a solution?

    And it’s a fucking miserable solution.

    • Silver Badger

      The real solution is better condoms.

      • Treant

        Better inexpensive condoms. I’m wondering if some miracle worker in the sciences will come up with a spray-on rubber.

        • Reality.Bites

          Spray on doesn’t leave room for ejaculation. It would be like putting a whole egg in a microwave

          But people have been working on it

      • Todd20036

        And cheaper PrEP

        • Silver Badger

          It’s easy for her to say.

  • Karl Dubhe

    Ask the Catholic Church how well forced chastity works out. Evil little fuckwit.

    I highly doubt he ever thought that he had to be chaste. It’s the rest of us who are the sluts.

  • Well, if it makes Tony Perkins sad, that’s a good thing, right?

  • Dale Snyder

    I’m sure your pussy-grabbing sexual predator will find a nice replacement to suit your fundie christian terrorist needs.

    Now go dye your hair and have another face lift to ease your sadz.

  • ceeenbee

    Maybe they can tap tim murphy. I hear he’s going to be free soon for a new job.

  • cleos_mom

    If these trips at taxpayers’ expense were “cleared by agency lawyers”, someone needs to be investigating the legal fleagles.

    • -M-

      I suspect that ‘cleared’ would mean they were pressured to say such expenses were technically not definitely illegal in all circumstances.

  • Tom Furgas

    I’ve been thinking of creating an organization to which I can name myself president, and use my position to disseminate falsehoods and hate, but I’d prefer to sleep soundly at night and feel good about myself.

    • canoebum

      You forgot “make buckets of money”.

  • octobercountry

    As so many others have mentioned…. Tony, you’re an idiot. You say “conservatives are the ones who have — not just the best messages — but the solution for the spread of disease: abstain!” HOWEVER, it is indisputably proven that an abstinence-based educational message results in the increase of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. THESE ARE THE FACTS. Your message does not work, period. Get the fuck over yourself.

  • Jefe5084

    What a miserable damned life this guy must have. Full of hate. I’m Hoping for an “unfortunate” cardiac incident.

    • Tom Furgas

      We mustn’t wish harm on the haters. Karma will have it’s way with them in the long run.

  • TimJ

    Perkins can’t help himself. In trying to defend the corrupt Tom Price, he just has to take a swipe a gays. The good news is that he’s losing.

  • madknits

    I wish his parents had abstained.
    Or at least his mother had swallowed.

  • Ken M

    If he thinks he has all the answers, why isn’t he on Trump’s list. Trump is more than happy to introduce people with little to no diverse political background to take positions in his cabinet. C’mon Perkins, grow a set and apply.

    • -M-

      He won’t take the (temporary, I’m sure) pay cut.

  • Puckfair52

    Take Huber Chief of staff along with him!
    “The department Huber is about to join once commissioned a study comparing abstinence-only sex education with comprehensive sex education. Students in both programs ended up with the same number of sex partners and the same age of sexual debut”

    • Friday

      And of course states with ‘abstinence-only’ have the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs, which worsened right after those programs went in place.

  • ceeenbee

    “. . . but the solution for the spread of disease: abstain!”

    What this stupid fucker doesn’t get is the increase in STDs has largely been a result of the lack of good sex education in schools which is directly correlated to the moronic emphasis on “abstainence” by these pseudo religious assholes who want to control behavior in a theocracy.

    • -M-

      He doesn’t mention it because it would undermine his money begging off of imaginary grievances.

  • Paul_in_Dallas

    Anagram: Tony Perkins ~ Stinky Prone ~ I SkyNet Porn

    • William

      I remember when Stinky Prone tried to shoot Gerald Ford.

  • boatboy_srq

    Abstinence as STD prevention. Because it works so well for their public officials (who insist their mistresses get abortions when accidents happen).

  • Ken M

    He rarely finishes his “abstinence sentence” anymore. It used to call for abstinence for ALL until after marriage. Now that marriage includes “us” he’s stopped including it in his little message.

  • marshlc

    So, the representative from the AIDS Institute says, essentially “It’s fine for you to promote what you think the answer is, but don’t interfere with what others are promoting”. And for Perkins, that’s unacceptable.

    It’s “religious freedom” in a nutshell – freedom for me, none for thee.

  • Uncle Mark

    Of course, if Tony REALLY cared about Price’s role in this regime (and this abortion issue), he could have happily offered to pony up the $1 million in travel costs; thus saving his “hero.” Nah…because it’s not about gawd, religion, or abortion; it’s always been about money.

  • “We Judeo-Christians have been pushing abstinence for 3000 years, but I know THIS year is the year it will work!”

  • Adam Stevens

    It’s funny watching old heterosexual men try and navigate in a world they no longer understand.

    And just a little bit sad.

  • canoebum

    This jerk’s vision of health care “freedom” means that many, many people would seek primary care in a hospital emergency room. Of course, they could not pay, so the insured pick up the cost, raising the cost of premiums for everyone. Your “freedom” should not be to freeload off those who are doing the paying.

    • Scott MB

      Exactly! People scream against socialized medicime, however we already have it. When you pay for insurance you are paying for the people that can’t pay. You are paying for the people that have to use the ER as their PCP. However, the ER only has to stabilize them. Once stabilized they are sent on their way to follow up with their primary doctor which they don’t have. So any person coming in that has suffered a heart attack will be patched up and then have no one to help them after.

      Yes, the ER is required to see you regardless of ability to pay, but they don’t have to follow up with you to make sure everything is alright.

  • Ken M

    It’s all because Mary didn’t need to abstain. God took care of that. /s 😉

  • Kelly Lape

    It is pathetic that people who claim to love god hate people.

    Every government employee from the lowest to the highest answer to the people. It had been a Republican Staple that cutting “Fraud, Waste, and Abuse” was the cornerstone to better government. By throwing away 30 years of political policy to elect a “businessman” who put into our highest executive offices other “businessmen” the GOP seemed to say “let’s change government”

    This failure of common sense was a failure of entitlement. “Business” executives believing they are entitled to top-notch travel and expenses. This was the thin edge of the wedge punched into our government. The House disbanded their own ethics office… Surely more is coming.

  • “…conservatives are the ones who have… the solution for the spread of disease: abstain!”

    Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

    I want this to be the core message of every Republican running for office in 2018: “Americans! STOP HAVING SEX IMMEDIATELY!!”

    Sounds like a winner to me, but just in case, they better go after porn as well. It can only help them, I’m sure.

    • Is this why Tony is such a prick all the time? He’s not getting any? Are we one blow job away from him removing his noxious presence from American public life?

  • ChinChin

    Tony Perkins is a murderer, and would be happy to see every gay person on Earth dead.

  • Friday

    So, of course no ‘repentance’ for lying about the scandal in the first place, or any mention of the actual corruption by his Fundie Republican department-wrecker, except to somehow blame the liberals for reporting it.

  • TheManicMechanic

    PerKKKins manages to open every one of these statements with the perfect smarmy sentence.

  • James

    Abstinence is a great way to avoid STIs. But in the real world, most adults aren’t abstinent (or not by choice). People have sex, and no amount of messaging is going to change that. So we have to deal with reality, and the reality is that preventing STIs is good for everybody. The other reality is that abstinence-only education is by every measure a colossal failure that results in more pregnancies and STIs, not fewer.

    I don’t get why it’s important to these pricks to try to push their bullshit morality on everyone. Why can’t they just tell their fellow delusional morons that Jesus requires them to be abstinent and go about their business?

  • The New Paige Turner™

    Its always best to get your gay sex advice from an uptight, straight white Christian Male with zero personal experience with the matter.

    And No, I don’t think that Tony has had any Same sex experience.

    Thanks Tony!