FIRE AND FURY PART II: North Korea Declares Plan To Launch Four Missiles To Land In Waters Near Guam

Reuters reports:

North Korea will develop a plan by mid-August to launch four intermediate range missiles at the U.S. territory of Guam before presenting it to leader Kim Jong Un who will make a decision on whether to proceed, the North’s state media said on Thursday.

“The Hwasong-12 rockets to be launched by the KPA (Korean People’s Army) will cross the sky above Shimane, Hiroshima and Koichi Prefectures of Japan,” the report said, citing General Kim Rak Gyom, commander of the Strategic Force of the KPA.

“They will fly 3,356.7 km (2,085.8 miles) for 1,065 seconds and hit the waters 30 to 40 km away from Guam.” The North added that U.S. President Donald Trump’s “fire and fury” comments earlier this week are a “load of nonsense”, saying only “absolute force can work on him”.

  • Adam Stevens

    Imagine all the exciting cable news countdown clocks!

    • Elaygee

      I don;t think the 150,000 American citizens and 15,000 American military on Guam find it amusing

      • Ross

        …and how many of them voted fro Trump, i wonder?

        • bambinoitaliano

          Nothing is going to happen to us I promise. We are tourist destination. 7 months later…..Oh Fuck! Why does Little Kim pick us?!!!

          • ElenorRigby

            They voted overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton.

          • clay

            (US military and families’ votes would be counted in their “home” districts, IF their absentee ballots would be enough to tip the results.)

          • bambinoitaliano

            In that case we gonna load up a few boats of those voted for the shit gibbon near the country’s water.

        • ElenorRigby

          ok so… Guam went about 78% for Hillary… but because they’re brown people, their votes literally aren’t counted. Because the people were “inhabited by Alien races who couldn’t understand Anglo Saxon principals” so they “vote” but the votes are ceremonial… and they don’t count.

          John Oliver explains it here

      • Adam Stevens

        Mark my words, they’ll be on our TV screens by nightfall.

      • Bad Tom

        No. They do not.

      • Derrick Johns

        Yes, you’re absolutely right, Elaygee. But else can we think about this orange colored fool in the White House. He’s not going to be removed from the presidency. So we laugh. It’s like laughing at “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane” It aint funny, but it’s funny.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Wonder how many reporters Fox News is sending to Guam for the live coverage. Murdoch must send their bestest. Hannity, Tucker Carlson and Jason Chaffetz at least.

  • WitlessProtection

    Guess this would be a good time to test our anti-missile systems to see if they really do work?

    • justme

      Republican designed and paid for

      • Bad Tom

        Also low bid!

    • Chucktech

      We have been, and they have a little better than 50% success rate, but that’s hardly reassuring.

    • Christopher

      “Leonard Bernstein!” πŸ˜‰

      Love this song!

      • Me too. My wife went to the University of Georgia for college, but told me she never met anyone from REM. So sad.

      • Bryan

        I had to stop myself from doing that last night when someone posted R.E.M.

    • kaydenpat

      But I don’t feel fine and won’t until Trump leaves the White House.

    • another_steve

      A nicer “End of the World.”

      • Karl Dubhe

        Call me a ‘nationalist’, and I’ll thump you. πŸ™‚

        • Chucktech

          I’ve never been a big R.E.M. fan. I like this better than the original.

          • John30013

            I am a big R.E.M. fan, but I really like this version too πŸ™‚ (And the lead singer is certainly cuter than Michael Stipe.)

        • Zeldacat

          I LOVE Great Big Sea! They did (and do) have fans in the US. In other words, some of us have really good taste in music.

      • Chucktech

        That was beautiful! Thank you!

      • There’s the classic “End of Ze World,” but that’s a little different. I’m sure a meteor is looking at us, though, and saying “Whoa, fuck that.”

    • M Jackson

      Add their “Exhuming McCarthy” while you’re at it.

  • Quick, someone hide the football!

  • justme
    • kaydenpat

      LOL!! If only that was all we had to fear.

      • Frostbite

        Really. It’s amazing how willing these idiots are to go to war with other people fighting the actual battles.

    • David L. Caster

      Target practice.

      DPRK is providing the opportunity to test improved anti-missile systems, too.

    • fahvel

      I had aa chance to see it’s fire and fury speech. It was being read while it mumbled the same thing over and over. There is no more life left in your pres eyes. The light that gives people a raison d’etre is fading like the light of Peter Pan’s fairy friend.

  • thom


  • bkmn

    Trump does not understand the concept that you don’t make threats if you aren’t prepared to follow through and deal with the consequences of following through.

    • Chucktech

      He should, hasn’t he done it all his life? He threatens to sue at the drop of a hat but it’s almost always (or many times, at least) just loud Trump-mouth-running.

      • Karl Dubhe

        Trump’s threats haven’t resulted in anyone being killed as a result.

        Not so for the other lunatic. *that we know of.

    • another_steve

      Kim Jong Un understands what we all understand: Donald Trump is a buffoon not to be listened to.

    • J Ascher

      Yeah, threatening other sovereign countries isn’t the same as bluffing contractors or lenders in Ponzi real estate schemes!

    • Ninja0980

      He also doesn’t seem to get there are folks who don’t give a damn about any threats he makes.
      They welcome a fight and the chance to die for their country/beliefs.

  • bambinoitaliano

    So Little Kim is little intimidated? From Guam to near the water of Guam? Next we gonna hear the shit gibbon taking a step back with Sparkles and Side Eyes? China must be working overtime giving Little Kim a stern lecturing.

    • djcoastermark

      Eehh, well, maybe somewhere on the planet or near it.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Discovery is gonna be awesome.

    • bambinoitaliano

      He can blame his tiny dick for defaming himself. Should have kept it in his pants.

    • kaydenpat

      Fox News would be bankrupted if everyone who could sued them for defamation.

    • Joe in PA

      In following some of the links…one of the things that stuck out (pun totally intended) was that Bolling said (through his lawyers): does not believe he sent any such communications…

      So, he doesn’t KNOW if he did or not? WTF?

      • Bad Tom

        Falling down drunk sexting?

      • Bob Conti

        Never good to sue somebody if you’re not really sure about your facts. “Believe” is one of those weasel words people use when under oath if they don’t want to provide a definitive answer. And my guess is that the article wouldn’t have been written if there wasn’t actual corroboration. In other words, pretty sure before Ali would write the article, he saw the text(s). It’s all part of pressure for Ali’s insurance carrier to pony up some bucks to settle, the whole thing is confidential, and Erdick, I mean Eric, gets to say “See, they settled with me! ” And then apply to Glen Beck for a gig.

  • Octavio

    Time to book flights to Guam, set up lawn chairs and have a few brews to watch the fireworks.

  • TrueWords
  • JustDucky
    • kaydenpat

      Powerful video.

    • Mike_in_the_Tundra

      There was a reply song to this. I think it was called “Eve of Correction”. Not as powerful as “Eve of Destruction”.

      • Nick in Pasadena

        “Dawn of Correction” by the Spokesmen, sort of a right-wing response to “Eve”.

  • Donald & his administration: “North Korea better stop what they’re doing!”

    DPRK: “We’re detonating more nuclear bombs.”

    D&A: “We will not tolerate North Korea having nukes!”

    DPRK: “Testing more nukes…and building missiles now.”

    D&A: “Nuclear armed NK is not allowed!”

    DPRK: “Hmm… missiles blew up. We’ll keep trying until we get it right.”

    Donald: “Gina fixing it!”
    Tillerson: “Done talking to North Korea.”

    DPRK: “There we go. We have missiles now. How’s the miniaturized nukes program going? Well? Great.”


    DPRK: “Shut up feckless pumpkin-man. We’re gonna bomb Guam very soon. You keep golfing.”

    Donald: “I am *not* golfing!”

    p.s. Parking your golf cart on the green is considered to be one of the single biggest douchenozzle things to do. Hell, you’re not even supposed to leave your hand-cart or golf bag on the green.

    • Chucktech

      Jesus, he can’t even waddle on to the green?? How fucking pathetic.

    • kaydenpat

      If all Trump did was go away and golf, he’d be a better President to be honest. It’s when he’s in the White House that he’s most dangerous.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Ah, so what. It’s his putting green. I could not care less what he does to it.

  • another_steve

    I’m not prepared to die yet.

    I have a case of Beefeater’s Gin in the basement and goddamnit I want to be around to finish it.

    • Christopher

      Well, uh, bottoms up?! πŸ˜‰

  • Christopher

    Can you believe that it’s only been a little over six months and we’re already getting a nuclear war?

    • Christopher

      I knew the prizes in the Cracker Jack boxes were getting shitty, but c’mon!

    • clay


    • Friday

      Or of course a diversion from the crimes, treason, failure, and incompetence over trying to posture us into one.

      • Christopher

        That thought has crossed my mind as well.

  • j.martindale

    One madman with nuclear weapons is more than enough. The Cabinet has the power to remove Trump. It is definitely time to remove him from office. I hate Pence. He isn’t crazy, just bad. Please remove the madman!

  • Gigi

    I’m so tired of all this winning.


    We’ve arrived at a point where all that can stop us from nuclear war are Fox and Friends and Dennis Rodman.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Dennis Rodman is getting a call from Peter Thiel if he is willing to swap his North Korea citizenship with his New Zealand one.

  • Paula

    Now may be the time that we learn if any of the directed energy weapons that were in development, actually work.

    • Chucktech

      Apparently they do work pretty well, but the problem is supplying the enormous amount of energy they need to fire.

      • Paula

        Got a spare nuclear power plant handy?

        • safari

          We do

          • Chucktech

            Great. Now just put it on a war ship and sail it over there.

          • Bad Tom

            By next week.

          • Paula

            I read somewhere that one of the nuclear powered aircraft carriers can generate enough power to run a medium size city.

          • Bad Tom

            Shipborne is the only real mobile solution because of the energy requirements. But the energy weapons I have read about are geared for ship to ship and air to ship missile interdiction, not for ICBMs.

        • clay

          Japan’s short one, already.

  • clay

    30-40 km = 18-25 miles = outside the 12 mile nautical limit of US territory–
    just playing chicken to see who will flinch, rather than actually be blamed for the war

    • Karl Dubhe

      At that range, I’ll bet they can’t be certain of hitting that accurately.

      A ‘miss’ and the resulting hit will be an act of war.

      • clay

        Plenty of people will be searching every hair they can find to split.

        Hair’s probably the wrong metaphor for these two.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Fire and Fury franchise is going to outpace Fast and Furious 8 in no time. Damn! Hollywood is never known to be a slacker.

  • DesertSun59

    Yawn. No way NK is capable on controlling them that accurately. And we will take them out before they land anyway.

    • Chucktech

      Apparently if it’s truly a “ballistic missile,” aiming it is mostly a matter of mathematics, which I’m sure the North Koreans can do. And while we’ve had some encouraging success with anti-missile systems, they’re far from an acceptable risk.

      • Bad Tom

        Mathematics and accuracy of control. Accurate control in an ICBM regime is hard.

        A ballistic missile typically has limited maneuverability after the boost phase (rocket cutoff.) During the terminal phase, a missile can attain a speed in excess of 3 miles/second. Very small errors in the initial trajectory are hugely magnified.

        40 miles is likely as close as they dare get.

        • Chucktech

          Wow, very cool, Tom, thank you!

  • Mike_in_the_Tundra

    Can’t we just lock Kim Jong Un and the orange one in a room with war toys and send in milk and cookies occasionally?

    Alright, I realize that once or twice a day, someone will have to go in and tell them how wonderful and smart they are.

    BTW – I love the picture Joe.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Dumpf: Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of fire and fury,
    the likes of which the world has never seen before.

    • Talisman

      Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

      • grada3784

        Just remember to follow with a pooper scooper.

    • Oscarlating Wildely

      By the pricking of our thumbs
      Something wicked this way comes.

  • sword

    Great!!! A ‘real world’ test of the US’s anti-ICBM system. We will need to be sure that it works when NK fires a real nuke ICBM at Los Angeles.

  • Bad Tom

    Notably missing from this announcement: These missiles will be carrying nuclear warheads.

    Which means they won’t.

    This will just be a demonstration that they can fire missiles that can reach Guam. Another provocation.
    Watch out Kim Jong-un. Trump is neither smart nor stable. He could order an attack by Twitter which catches his own Army, Navy, and Airforce by surprise.

    • justme

      don’t you mean CATCH the world by surprise ? ?

      • Bad Tom


        Trump might improvise us into war. From the golf course. Without talking to anyone. By Twitter, on his phone. Making it literally a surprise to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and even the White House itself.

        Perhaps in a fit of pique. Or from agitation. Or boredom. Or after watching the news on his 70″ TV. If it rains, and he can’t golf.

    • David L. Caster

      This whole thing is really quite interesting.

      Kim and his army are telling the US well in advance that they are contemplating the launch of missiles toward Guam well in advance of even their own planning. There is the smell of rats all over this rhetoric.

      The US should only quietly prepare to defend itself if needed and do nothing else. If the threat does not materialize in the form of a missile that is actually on a trajectory to hit anything other than the surface of the ocean at least 3 miles out to sea relative to Guam, no countermeasures should be taken. Kim need not know what can be done if he chooses to act out in this case or in the future.

      Trump needs to shut up, stay the hell out of the way, and let military planners do their jobs. Tillerson needs to get some real help with real experience playing at this level.

      • KarenAtFOH

        They have been firing their test missiles on a high arc so that they land relatively close to NK. This is to prevent them from flying over sovereign territories of Japan, China, Russia, etc. With this new threat, they are saying well ahead of time that they will be crossing over Japanese territory before landing in international waters.

        • David L. Caster

          Yeah, and came dangerously close to hitting a commercial airliner in the process because they do not announce their tests or describe the flight path of their missiles. Kim is going to screw up at some point and it will not go well for him. He is playing a very dangerous game.

      • Ben in Oakland

        The answer is that this is shakedown.

    • justme

      and tRump will say

      “Did I do That!!”

  • J Ascher

    I haven’t felt so afraid for the future since the early 80s when Reagan all but shut off communication with the Soviets.

    • Bad Tom

      I’m thinking more October 1962.
      Except the President is a stupid narcissist with dementia.

      • J Ascher

        That would take the cake, but ’62 was before my time. I was in 8th/9th grades when Reagan brought us to the brink of nuclear war.

        • jmax

          I was 7 years old and our family was stationed in Germany in 1962. The only memory I have of the Cuban Missile Crisis is not seeing my father for several days as the base we lived near was put on high alert. The same thing happened the next year when JFK was assassinated.

          • stuckinthewoods

            I was 11. We had moved from Berlin right before the Wall started construction to Fort Dix, NJ in time for the Cuban Missile Crisis. My father was also on alert, I remember in school there were drills, we were taught to hide in closets,..things that never happened in Berlin. America seemed more dangerous than Berlin and I was glad when we moved back there.

        • Rambie

          ’62 was about a decade before mine time too but the early 80’s man… yeah so were scary days.

  • ultragreen

    This will be real interesting when North Korea develops missiles that can land in the waters of the Potomac River, not far from the White House.

  • Stephen Elliot Phillips

    Chris Hayes just reported that Trump in fact does ask simply “was Obama for it?” and if that is a yes, he says we will do the opposite. Hayes reports trump is obsessed with obama and undoing 44’s legacy

    • M Jackson

      As far as I’m concerned trump burnishes and shines Obama’s legacy every day that he defiles the presidency.

    • OdieDenCO

      and that was the lever used to turned donny to treason

  • JCF
  • fuzzybits
    • David L. Caster

      Nice recovery.

  • bambinoitaliano
  • BobSF_94117

    Is it too much to ask that they hold off until after the eclipse?

    • Steve Teeter

      Let’s have someone tell Trump that the eclipse is a dragon eating the sun. He’ll believe it, run off to hide, and never come back again.

    • Zeldacat

      Really! Been looking forward to this forever! I live in the path of totality. It’s gonna be fucking awesome!

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    I’m sorry, but if Trump keeps threatening, I can’t really blame NK for defending. WOW, Trump found a way to make me look at NK as the sane one in the fight. FML

  • Kenster999

    Apparently the international waters limit is 12 nautical miles (22.2 km; 13.8 mi). North Korea plans to land missles 30-40 km outside of Guam, so it technically wouldn’t be an attack on US territory. Something to keep in mind!

  • coram nobis

    A point worth raising: it’s not the bases in Guam that may have made NK pick out this target instead of, say, Okinawa.

    Guam is U.S. territory, perhaps the closest to NK. A hit on U.S. territory would trigger certain reactions.

  • sandollar_man

    If the officials in the intelligence community aren’t looking for ways to contain and eject the deranged lunatic in the white house, then they aren’t worth the ink that they used to sign their pledge to our Constitution.

  • coram nobis

    Mars, Bringer of War (composed 1913-1914).

  • thrunch

    This is dangerous. If we “trust” that these NK missiles are really aimed to be near Guam (and not Guam). If we trust the weapons aren’t really armed. If we trust they will be accurate (they may aim to miss but then accidentally hit because their accuracy is off). They may fail and fall short into Japan. Do we then use our ballistic missile defenses in either Japan or Guam to shoot them down? When USA and Russia test launch missiles, the missile trajectory doesn’t arc anywhere near another nation … so this is very dangerous. A very serious miscalculation. Foolish. And foolish Trump for sparking a potential brinkmanship.

  • ospalh

    How about this counter-thread:
    You want to fire missiles into our back yard? Nice! Well get them and study them. Wanted to take a good look at your tech for years. We got tons of DSRVs and UUVs up to the job.
    But that would require something beyond mindless bluster from the short-fingered vulgarian, so in a way it’s impossible.

  • canoebum

    Sounds to me like a good opportunity to test the reliability of our anti-missile technology. If they fire them, we should shoot them down. We don’t have to bomb the Korean Peninsula, just hit all four missiles before they land in the sea. Message sent.

    • DumbHairyApe

      I’ve heard estimates that NK has around 50 missiles they can simultaneiously launch in a short amount of time. Best expectations is we manage to shoot down 65% of them….that’s still a lot of pain and misery for a very long period of time for a lot of folks.

    • TimCA

      Or if our anti-missile technology fails to intercept the North Korean incoming missiles that would be a message sent as well. πŸ™

  • DumbHairyApe

    NukeMap allows you to pick your location and bomb size (or based on known bomb sizes). Fun for all apocalyptic parties and human-hating kids of all ages!