New British Dating Show: Game Of Clones

The Guardian reports:

Imagine, for a moment, that you’re allowed to pick the romantic partner of your dreams. Imagine you could log on to a computer and design them from top to bottom. You can choose their gender, their race, their height, their weight, their eye colour and every single proportion you can possibly think of. Your one true soulmate. Doesn’t that sound perfect?

If you think so, you should try watching E4’s new dating show Game of Clones. This is exactly how it starts: a man or a woman in a room, obsessively tweaking the details of their dream catch like Weird Science never happened. Make him taller. Shorten his hair. Give her bigger boobs. On and on it goes, until they finally reach perfection. But this isn’t the creepy part.

Because then the production team goes out and finds a flesh-and-blood person who exactly fits your blueprint. Surely, given how much effort was put into the creation of the design, this guarantees love at first sight, right? No, because this still isn’t the creepy part.

Because the production team has managed to find seven other people who also fit the bill. You enter a room to find eight identical, and identically dressed, people, all of whom fulfil your physical requirements to the letter, and all of whom want to be yours. This is Game of Clones: a show where loads of people who look alike fight for your affections until, presumably, your psyche irreparably breaks from reality and you’re plunged into a world of confusion and despair.

According to the producers, when all the prospects look exactly the same, the superficiality of appearances is stripped away. Yeah. Lots more at the link.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    The article is wrong, this is clearly and audition for the next Fox host.

  • safari
    • Jon Doh

      I hope she didn’t breast feed her child.

      • Judas Peckerwood

        Just the one time…

    • Tawreos

      She is going to be the anchor for the NRA/FOX crossover news channel.

    • David Walker

      OMG. Back in the days when entire theaters were devoted to strippers without poles, one of the ladies’ publicity was something like “45-32-38…these aren’t guns!” So, another way the world has changed since Back Then.

  • Jon Doh

    As long as they all look like Ari Melber, I’m in.

  • bkmn

    Looks attract but it is the little details that make or break a relationship.

    • safari

      That’s why you get a household already pre-screened by producers for maximum entertainment to help you decide.

  • Randy Ellicott

    Well it is at least a new way to do these shows, the premise is at least interesting, though i would bet it will be spoiled by the need for ratings…

    • Dazzer

      E4, which is a youth offshoot of adult and intelligent (sometimes) Channel 4, isn’t quite as driven by ratings as some other commercial channels.

      • Randy Ellicott

        That’s good to know, but these types of shows are just about ratings generally… though i do find that british shows do tend to have a more cerebral side so who knows…

  • MaryJOGrady

    I don’t want to live on this planet any more.

    • safari

      Coincidentally after the inauguration, NASA announced 7 new expolants with three in the “Goldilocks zone” for being habitable orbiting a dwarf star only 40 light years away.

      • David Walker

        I’d be 110. Need something more realistic. And I don’t mean a silicone sex doll. (See above)

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          LOL. You’d be a lot more than 110. We don’t have the ability to travel at the speed of light, and there’s good physics reasons to believe that we never will.

        • safari

          If it makes you feel better, people on Earth would age much more quickly due to relativity.

    • ChrisMorley

      It’s only shown on E4 in Britain, a digital channel for the 16–34 age group. Poor them. It will just be mocked and laughed at.

      It’s not all blond bimbos in red/pink.
      In episode 1, Charlotte wants a mixed race guy, so she gets eight in baseball caps in black and grey, with cool red trainers/sneakers.
      Inspect them here
      E4, an offshoot of Channel 4, at least tries to do diversity.

  • Do Something Nice

    Why bother?

    “A new brothel has opened in Barcelona that offers men the chance to fulfil all their fantasies – as long as their fantasies involve hyper-realistic silicone dolls.

    Lumidolls, which operates from an apartment building in downtown Barcelona, claims to be the first sex doll agency in Europe and offers hour-long ‘appointments’ with one of its four dolls for just €80.”

    • JDS

      I wouldn’t want to be the person who squeezes down those dolls. Shudder.

    • CanuckDon

      And they all said men shouldn’t play with dolls.

    • David Walker

      “Oh, yeah. Suck my silicone tits.” It just doesn’t sound the same.

      • stuckinthewoods

        I’m sure it sounds nicer in Slovenian.

      • ChrisMorley

        In Barcelona, you’ll need to talk Basque to the dolls:

        Oh, bai. Zurrupatu nire silikonazko amilotxak.

        • David Walker

          I don’t think I could.

  • Rex

    I hope they don’t refer to this as a “reality show.”

  • JustDucky
  • Halou

    I’ve seen this movie.

  • Skip Intro
  • Johannes Stier

    “You enter a room to find eight identical, and identically dressed,
    people, all of whom fulfil your physical requirements to the letter, and
    all of whom want to be yours.”
    I’m pretty sure that’s how the English government still expects the Brexit negotiations to go.

    • David Walker

      I think you just described the clientele of every bar in the 1970s.

      • barrixines

        I was about to say there’s been surprisingly few reflections here on how much gay dating can be pretty much the same as this show. I don’t think it was just a 1970s thing.

        • David Walker

          I tuned out during the ’80s and vowed never to go back.

          • barrixines

            From fifteen til pretty much my late twenties I was in one long term relationship after the other and had never really gone out on the scene much before then. And then when I started I had long hair – and that was a real no-no with gay men. Took me a while to realise if I wanted to get laid I just had to look exactly the same as every one else – shaved all my hair off got a couple of tattoos and a few tight t-shirts and hey presto. Desire can be pretty banal.

          • barrixines

            Oh I missed out the best part. I think it was the very first time I went out. Long haired me standing in a corner completely ignored til I got chatting to this guy. Didn’t fancy him or anything but it was nice to make some connection. Right at the end of the chat, just as he was leaving, he reached over and grabbed my chest and said – “You do know if you want to get fucked by anyone you’re going to have to do something about these”

          • David Walker

            Ha! I think I remember that you’re not a Broadway queen, but do you know the song “Dance 10, Looks 3” from “A Chorus Line”?

          • barrixines

            No I didn’t know it but that’s very funny, thank you

  • bambinoitaliano

    Except the soul is the part that cannot be clone.

  • I think it was the 1993 National LGBT March on Washington when I spotted the clones: It was a fenced in paddock of young men, all shirtless and gym-toned, all wearing khaki cargo shorts and white sneakers, all carrying on together as if they were the only people in the Universe. Strangest thing I ever saw.

    • Chuck in NYC

      Once upon a time, that was Tom Cotton’s dream.

  • JW Swift

    “Send in the clones. There ought to be clones. Don’t bother, they’re here.”

  • Don Blair

    Where do you think tRumps lady part Melonoma came from ?

  • Henry Auvil

    The Stepford Ivankas.

  • Tomcat

    If they had styled hair I would think I was looking at a GOP party, party.

    • Tomcat

      Or Fox news reporters.

  • Tomcat

    White is right,,, right is white.

    • ChrisMorley

      This is for digital channel E4, an offshoot of Channel 4, which got the diversity memo and has read it.
      ‘In the first week, for example, a woman named Charlotte is presented with eight mixed-race men all wearing baseball caps.’
      Here they are

  • hdtex

    I’m pretty sure this is how Fox News does their casting.

  • JWC

    They must have a large Diildo to clone the male newscasters from

  • Readen Reply

    Insert gay dating jokes here:

    Oh so another Saturday night in Chelsea? WeHo?

    Looks like my main screen on Grindr

    • Blargg

      Instead of individual dates, they’d all just get in a room together with sling. “This rose goes to… all of you!”

  • Davester

    Brilliant! The English are still the kings of the negative utopia.

  • Ick. Human exploitation.

  • beariac

    That’s a lorra, lorra fuckery for just one show.

  • wmforr

    Much as I like certain physical types, the criteria for a one-night stand are not sure to determine a lasting relationship.

  • JohnInCA

    I’m curious if you get to specify more then just the physical. Education level, religious views, hobbies, what nights they’re free for raiding in World of Warcraft…

  • DonnaLee

    OK so do they wear name necklaces or numbers or something? That would get very confusing very quickly.