Sarah Palin’s Courtroom Show Gets Name: Palin Rules

From TMZ:

Sarah Palin ain’t Judge Judy … but the 2 will have exactly the same power when they pound the gavel. The production company for Palin’s new show just moved to register “Palin Rules.” Palin’s making a clear distinction between her show and courtroom favorites like, “People’s Court,” “Judge Mathis,” and “Divorce Court” … she doesn’t have a law degree or a judicial title, but she can still act like she does.

From Heavy:

Palin Rules is being produced by Larry Lyttle, the same producer who brought Sheindlin [Judge Judy] to television. He is hoping to get the show on television by September 2017. He told TMZ in March that Palin will preside over “the courtroom of common sense,” adding, “She’s appointed judges and is well equipped as a former governor to preside over cases.”

So far the show does not have a network. Palin’s last reality show, Sarah Palin’s Alaska, was cancelled in early 2011 after just nine episodes.

  • Jamsie

    That’s one show that will never show up on my DVR, even if I had one.

  • BearEyes

    what could possibly go wrong?

    • Todd20036

      Actually, nothing that isn’t already foreseen by the readers of this blog.

      Palin can’t maintain a coherent thought, and the only ones who will watch that show will be those of us who watch auto races for the car crashes.

      It’s not like Palin’s “homies” can afford cable, as a general rule.

    • perversatile
  • What the actual hillbilly Fuck?
    So she Can just imagine she’s something, and poof, she is?

    • perversatile

      Caribou Barbie Syndrome aka ”your career is in your closet”

  • Porkie

    Palin will preside over “the courtroom of common sense,” Oh! the irony!….

    • Marides48

      She must have read “Common Sense for Dummies”?

  • Gustav2

    Larry Lyttle actually said, “the courtroom of common sense” with a straight face and the reporter not laughing?

    • TuuxKabin

      I laughed. Out loud. Woke up the dog.

      • Reality.Bites

        Be careful about admitting to waking up your dog. Animal rights protesters are going to rush the stage during your next post and you have no Secret Service protection.

  • shellback

    So grateful I don’t have a television machine. I wouldn’t even want to accidentally see it.

    • Brad Lathem

      As a gamer, I *love* my television machine, but I only use it for games and an occasional movie with the gf. I haven’t had nor missed TV service for many years though. Ugh.

    • Mark

      I’m 60 miles out and already on the fringe of reception….so it was with a particular relief that the trees grew in extra thick this year. Last year, 7 channels. This year? none. Relief!

      • Oh’behr

        Hey, you ‘unMerican. Not watching the boob tube. /s

        I don’t watch it either. Congratulations.

  • Reality.Bites

    Shows of this sort are never on networks, they are made for syndication.

  • j.martindale
    • Bj Lincoln

      I really like this gif. Perfect.

  • Pale N.

    Will it be subtitled in English?

    • j.martindale

      Valley girl English.

    • kaydenpat

      Only Palin and her brood understand Palinese Word Salad.

      • perversatile

        Salade Paliniçoise

        • kaydenpat

          That sounds too fancy and French for Palin.

          • perversatile

            -just lipsticking the pig

        • Margaretrtatum2

          “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!gd132ur

          two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !gd132u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsAuthorityGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!gd132u……,….,..,..

    • Phaius

      You betcha!

  • clay

    The litigants must provide advance consent for the boot in the ass.

  • JT

    Will she still be on meth during filming?

    • kaydenpat

      Poor meth. What did meth do to be accused of Palin?

  • Joe in PA

    “She’s appointed judges and is well equipped as a former governor to preside over cases.”

    Oh well…in THAT case.

    I wonder if the show will last for more than a 1/2 term?

    • perversatile

      If they keep referring to SP as ”former governor” they should add
      ”former loud mouth drunk, late last night showing her tits at Denny’s”.
      Yet another situation Sarah abandoned with equal alacrity.

      • Kruhn

        He used “alacrity” in a sentence! SWOON!!!

    • PeterC

      Are thirty minutes considered one term?

    • clay

      I believe she’s only half-equipped to preside.

      • Henri205

        Well, she’s certainly a half-wit, so……

  • bryan

    With Judge Judy people watch to laugh at the people foolish enough to think they can take her on. With Palin, people will watch, if they watch at all, to laugh at her.

    • Reality.Bites

      Oh, I don’t know. Pretty sure anyone who’d go on the show would be pretty laugh worthy too.

    • CJAS

      You mean people foolish enough to think they’ll get a fair hearing. Judy also serves up doses of legal and social conservatism and problematically inaccurate reading of the law.

  • Joe in PA

    Not that I’m one to offer grooming tips…but who the FUCK picked out that nail polish color?

    • TuuxKabin

      It’s not nail polish, it’s a fungus.

      • Kieron

        Probably supposed to resemble camo.

        • TuuxKabin

          I guess camo could describe her vocabulary as well.

        • Mark

          That way no one sees her pick her nose….or her friends nose….or a moose’s nose..

    • Michael Rush
    • William

      Morticia Addams.

    • delk

      Todd’s ass.

    • Randy

      Not polish, gangrene.

  • Anyone stupid enough to agree to one of her decisions deserves the stupidity she hands them. Glory, glory, hallelujah! The dumbing marches on.

    • kaydenpat

      You betcha!

    • Sk3ptic

      Right–it’ll be Palin’s Sharia Court.

    • crewman

      I seriously hope this is not a platform with carefully scripted and edited scnes to cast her as a folksy-wise Judge who takes no-nonsense and “tells it like it is”.

      • TuuxKabin

        Without a teleprompter I doubt she’d be able to memorize a script. It’s going to be Tossed Word Salad all the way.

        • crewman

          That’s what I don’t know. It’s all in the editing. Will this show make fun of its star, or will it hide the worst of the word salad and make her look smarter than she is.

          • TuuxKabin

            They have time, since her shows scheduled for the fall 2017, to develop some kind of tossed word salad translator, but her deliverance won’t hide the doofus. If any JMG commenters watch it, maybe they’ll let us know. NO tellyvision in our household. so we’ll be spared.

        • douglas

          She can always write on her hand.

          • TuuxKabin

            She did that once, right? I kinda remember her looking at her wrist once during a rant.

      • Her hands aren’t big enough to write that kind of scripting on.

  • geoffalnutt

    In other words: she’s a desperate useless loud-mouth, aggressively stupid attention whore, meth head, second-rate grifter Repiglicon.

    • shellback

      That pretty much covers it.

    • clay

      with a plunging neckline.

  • JustSayin’

    Court shows are bad enough, but tea bagger on tea bagger litigation will be an all time low

  • kaydenpat

    Great. Another gig Palin can quit after one term.

    • TuuxKabin

      Maybe less.

    • RickCabral

      Half a term.

    • Adam Schmidt

      Sure, but then she can hand it off to one of her kids. Surely you can imagine Track or Bristol taking over the show, right?

      • kaydenpat

        No, that wouldn’t work.
        Bristol would have to take a pregnancy-related break within the first few months after the Bailiff knocks her up.
        Track would beat up one of the female Plaintiffs and get himself arrested.

        • Adam Schmidt

          But see, both of them have courtroom experience. Now it may be because they were getting sued, or having custody battles, or divorces, or brought up on assault charges but that just shows the breadth of their courtroom experience and shows why they’re uniquely qualified for the position.

          • kaydenpat

            Lol!! You got me there.

  • TexasBoy

    If you are in such sad shape to need to air your personal issues in front of Sarah Palin, a 1/2 hour show letting a snowbilly rule on your case isn’t going to solve your problems.

  • Butch

    And after the break, Palin attempts to recite the alphabet without coaching.

    • Marides48

      She’ll have the difficult letters written on her hand?

  • Wasilly Putty

    I wonder about the non-commitment clause in her contract. She got bored and quit after a few seasons of ” Gov.of Alaska, Don’t Aska.”

    • Beagle

      Non-commitment clause? I was wondering why she hasn’t been committed.

  • Dot Beech

    Better to call it what it is: Judge Judge meets Women’s Roller Derby

  • It doesn’t have a network yet? This is a nonstarter. If her fans didn’t watch a show that at least promised beautiful Alaska scenery they sure as fuck aren’t going to watch her blather on. Pity the crew and editors for this thing. Can you imagine how much they’ll have to record to get 30 minutes of usable content?

    • Mark

      Thank FSM for loops.

    • Kruhn

      I don’t know, these shows are cheap and are usually on daytime television where the rates are lower.

    • clay

      Glennn Beck has a channel, why don’t they stick it on there?

      • Jerry

        Cuz it’s failing too…BlazeTV is about done.

    • Marides48

      Subtract 10 minutes for commercials & it will be only 20 minutes of SP blather. That’s 20 more minutes than I can stand to listen t her.

  • Spongebob CrankyPants

    ROFLMAO. We have reached the end of TV.

  • Mark

    Well, she’s made a mockery of the political system – so now she’s going for judges? We can only hope the networks don’t bite….but if they do they can chew her up and spit her bones over a fence.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Here’s a sneak peak at her new show.

    https://youtu.be/mZJHoInfWBA

  • Michael Rush

    Sarah Palin was the governor who enacted the bill creating a film tax credit for Alaska which directly resulted in income for Sarah of $2 million for Sarah Palin’s Alaska, and an expense to the tax payers of Alaska of $1.2 Million .

    Who could forget the epic failure of Bristol Palin’s“reality show”, Life’s a Trip, that was cancelled after only two episodes. That show received tax payer credits of $354,348.00.

    “The consultant’s analysis estimated that the total $21.2 million in tax credits issued by the State generated economic activity resulting in an estimated $1.2 million in additional taxes and fees. The program does not pay for itself and, through February 2012, has created a fiscal deficit totaling $20 MILLION DOLLARS.”

  • ColdCountry

    “She’s appointed judges and is well equipped as a former governor to preside over cases.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • OSG

    You know she just took the job because she believes that she’ll be able to pardon her kids for their future DUI charges.

    It’s acting, Sarah.

    • Oh’behr

      Hmm, so when is Trig going to start driving? /s

  • William

    “The Wisdom of Sarah Palin” said no one ever.

    • Sure, but how about:

      The (Dim) Wit and Wisdom (teeth) of Sarah Palin

    • MrSkippy

      I’ve said that. Although I super emphasized the “DUMB” syllable.

  • M Jackson

    So the failed half-term governor’s ‘courtroom’ tee-vee show isn’t really an actual thing, and probably never will be. Knowing that is a comfort.

  • b

    That show will have to be a fake. The producers will insist she follow their judgments, and she will just recite their decisions in Paleo-palin.

  • YourNameHere

    Why can’t she just go awayyyyy.

  • ericpayne

    I’m thinking this is going to be more like the Byron Allen produced court shows that are entirely scripted (with casts that are told what the situation is, then told to improvise… then mostly completely unable to) and disclaimed as “entertainment” in the closing credits. I can’t imagine anyone with a working mind would agree to binding arbitration if Sarah Palin is to be the arbiter.

    • CJAS

      “I can’t imagine anyone with a working mind would agree to binding arbitration if Sarah Palin is to be the arbiter.” They will gladly where the appearance fee they’ll be paid is larger than the amount in dispute.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Gross. Everything about her and this is just gross.

  • Tigernan Quinn

    That will go nicely with her pretending to be a Governor, and pretending to be a Vice Presidential candidate.

  • bkmn

    Please, oh please, let them make it but not be able to find a network to air it.

  • Sporkfighter

    Too bad Sherwood Schwartz isn’t around any more. He didn’t get the respect he deserved for producing high quality, intellectually stimulating TV.

    • perversatile

      -or Sidney Sheldon.

  • Ninja0980

    Will this woman ever go away?

  • Oh’behr

    By Big Gulp, is she implying she should have swallowed instead of having children? Intelligent minds want to know. Dammit.

  • Julian (UK)

    In the UK we have this insane copycat of Judge Judy called Judge Rinder – it’s a hoot!
    http://www.thegayuk.com/eleven-facts-about-judge-rinder/

  • I would suggest naming the show “Palindrome” – since with the kind of word salad she talks, it would make as much sense backward as it does forward.

    • Jerry

      Palindrome…two idiots enter, one idiot leaves.

    • Jay George

      Palindrone :p

  • Hunter M

    Palin Rules? Don’t they have shots for that?

  • ByronK

    September 2017? It will probably take them that long to edit something together that even approaches comprehensible.

  • delk

    “Palin Rules” sounds like something Todd spray paints on walls in Wasilla.

  • grada3784

    The show’s theme song will be “Be a Clown”.

  • Neely OHara

    Given that she obviously possesses the wisdom of Solomon, I expect she’ll be settling custody cases by splitting children in half, literally, you bet’cha…

  • Dramphooey

    “You honor, do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?”

    “Well, all of them!”

    • charemor

      Wonderful!

    • The_Wretched

      I was wondering if anyone in the court room will be able to tell who she ruled for and why.

  • Frostbite

    Do her verdicts quit half way?

  • Fyva Prold

    Thanks, but we already had Judge Ron Whitey in Futurama.

  • Robincho

    I’d call it Palin Drules…

    • TCinBerkeley

      I was thinking ‘Palin Rulez!’ because she seems to be emotionally stunted at age 14.

  • hudson11

    So, does that take her out of the running as Trumps VP?

    • Traxley Launderette

      If it pays more, then yes.

  • Marti386

    Terrific. A moron without a law degree or even a basic understanding of how law works is gonna have a show where she gets to decide things.

    I can’t imaging why anyone thinks this is a good idea. She can’t even get people to pay for her website. Let’s hope no networks bite. I say we stop giving the Palin’s corporate welfare. Their 15 minutes was up a LONG time ago.

    • CJAS

      This offensive idea will likely make a great deal of money very quickly. And remember, Judy was a Republican-appointed city judge on the bottom rung of judges–where she stayed for a decade–and a graduate of a bottom-tier law school.

  • Traxley Launderette

    So she’ll preside over cases like Tyler’s stolen four wheeler that was later found in that asshole Keith’s pole barn, that slut Amber talking shit about Krystal’s cousin Mystee at Randy’s sister’s wedding at the VFW hall back in October, Kaitlynne’s missing pack of smokes when everyone damn well knows if was her ex-boyfriend Dusty who took them, and why that lying bitch Darla hasn’t paid for cable or trash pickup — not one fuckin’ month — at Marvin Mobile Estates.

    All that while drunk off her ass.

    YEE YEE

    • Halloween_Jack

      Or she could simply preside over her kids’ cases.

  • bcarter3

    Sounds like somebody is trying to pump up her judicial experience in anticipation of a Ttump Supreme Court nomination.

  • WIGuy

    I always love the pic with her holding the Big Gulp! It suits her!

    • Uncle Mark

      I’m sure that’s how she got her first TV job

      • off leash

        And husband.

        • Uncle Mark

          Actually, she got pregnant before she got married, so your kinda correct on that.

  • Uncle Mark

    So, can I assume that this “court show” will be filled with her slant on the Bible as well as her own brand of hypocratic judgements that we have come to expect from this low-brow, know-nothing, grifter. Will she be ruling on bar brawls, domestic abuse, teen vandalism & pregnancy out of wedlock issues that she and her family clearly excel in? Lastly, who would willing accept any judgements from that deeply-flawed troll?

  • Halloween_Jack

    I like the part where it’s being shoved out to after the election to give the producer an out.

    • Jay George

      Halloween Jack is a real cool cat.

  • popebuck1

    They will have a terrible time keeping closed-caption transcribers, who will kill themselves after a maximum of one week on the job.

  • SammySeattle

    The wisdom of the short bus.

    • Bj Lincoln

      Many of those who ride the short bus are much smarter than her. I have met a few who are brilliant stuck in a body that doesn’t work.

  • Randy

    I could be wrong, but I always thought that the appeal of these shows was because there were “real” judges involved. Will she have a teleprompter?

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    So most of the defendants will be her kids ?

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    It just won’t go away……..

  • Xuuths

    Someone on this forum suggested: Judge Shooty.

    I laughed!

  • I wish this woman would just frickin’ go away.

  • 2karmanot

    Cuz, she can see grifter from her house.

  • lisamanv .

    Common sense and Palin don’t belong in the same sentence. Who would let her decide anything for them?

  • TampaDink

    Why not? We have a reality t.v. star as the republican nominee.

  • Stubenville

    Palin Rules Drools. There, I fixed it for you, Joe.

  • B Snow

    Off topic, but I saw an ad for Chopped, starring Ted Allen of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” fame, and it said the show is sponsored by Liberty University. Does LU know whose salary they’re paying? And/or does Ted Allen know who’s paying his salary? It seemed very surreal.

  • I thought it would be Ole Nailin’ Palin.

  • Margaretrtatum2

    “my room mate Mary Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!gd132ur

    two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !gd132u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsAuthorityGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!gd132u….,….,..

  • Rich

    It should be called “Palin ‘Splainin’.” You’re welcome.