Matt Baume: True Life Love Stories [VIDEO]

A Valentine’s Day clip from Matt Baume: “How’d you meet the people you love? I asked my followers how they met their partners, and they sent me some really sweet stories. I’ve gathered some of my favorites and I’m so excited to share them with you.”

  • LovesIrony

    Met him at a bar during a Twilight Zone marathon

    • Jimmie Z

      You met in the Twilight Zone!?
      That must’ve been a few years ago.

      • TuuxKabin

        Best laugh this morning.

  • Jake

    Get back to me after 46 years.

  • Ninja0980

    Met him in the college library after he caught me staring at him just a little too long.
    We had a good laugh and ended up talking for a bit and it went from there.
    We’ll have been together for 13 years this fall, not bad considering he was supposed to leave me for a woman (he’s bi) by now.

  • perversatile

    Met mine on a Monday moved in together on the following Wednesday 24 yrs ago.

    • zhera

      When you know, you know!

      • perversatile

        I wasn’t all the way sure until I saw him in a skimpy pair of red drawers

  • Aww, no lesbian couples. Still, cute stories.

  • BearEyes

    We met just over 20 years ago at a potluck dinner. I had recently been dumped (by phone, no less) and he was in a relationship that was rapidly ending. Since I was also commuting from CT to DE for a work assignment at the time, we kept in touch and met when we could then eventually moved in together a few months later.

  • Phil

    The song from South Pacific, “Some Enhanted Evening” was written as the script for our first time meeting. It was across the room at a crowded party and we were somehow drawn to each other. A month later we were in a committed relationship which lasted 24 years until death did us part. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

    • Gene

      I am so sorry for your loss.
      I am so happy that you were there for each other..him for you as much as you for him I have no doubt, till then end. thats a joy and a victory. That’s love, and a marriage. even before they became legal, thats a marriage

    • Corsair Tact

      THANK YOU for posting this. I’ve tried to get Some Enchanted Evening out of my inner playlist because it’s just too romantic (or so logic would dictate), but it’s been there for as long as I can remember. I haven’t yet found him, but I can feel him. And, as someone mentioned elsewhere here, I’m living a very full and happy life, so whenever we should meet will be just right. And, now, here in a bizarre Technicolor:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGyfw3yiMT4

      • TuuxKabin

        Thanks for that. Some Enchanted Evening is a song I never get out of my head, it’s been an ear worm forever and I often bellow it out to el Husbian, changing the words to go with his Lunar Calendar sign, Tiger. That ‘you can feel him’ sings to the heart. Hopefully he’s feeling your nearness and before too long, bim, bam, boom you’ll be together.

        • Corsair Tact

          Yes to all of this. Thank you for your very kind words. My eyes are leaking…

          • TuuxKabin

            MIne too.

    • TuuxKabin

      A quote from Splendor in the Grass comes to mind, reading your thread:

      [voiceover] Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, we will grieve not; rather find strength in what remains behind.

      From now on, when I bellow Some Enchanted Evening to my guy you will come to mind.

    • JCF

      Or across a crowded department store (Le Sigh) —

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1qulSaiWCg

    • fuzzybits

      ❀❀❀

  • madknits

    I came down to NOLA in 2014 for a long weekend with friends who live here. A mutual friend got him to tag along to our dinner and bar crawl. I saw him and thought, “Oh my!” Two years later, I’ve moved to NOLA, we’re living together (I swore I would never live with a boyfriend), and it’s pretty fucking amazing!

  • AW

    Met mine on a cruise, not a gay one. I was with all my republican family at the time. It’s been 8 years now.

  • Gene

    our story is actually to sad to detail here..but, in brief, at a gay student group meeting. not allowed to meet on university campus (we were, after all breaking state law, the student government said when they denied us meeting space), but in an Episcopal church basement. 1st meeting of the year. we get there, pre cell, pre email, to find that one of our members had been driven to kill himself when a fundamentalist church group had outed him to his family so they could help “cure” him. There was crying, there were tears, and in the back of the room, a little Chinese man who has seen the signs for the meeting (those few not defaced) and looked…mortified. Poor english at this point..only just grasping what was happening. he left, dejected looking. “follow him” the dyke in charge told me. I did. I guessed, mix of luck and deduction, which way he went. did not see him. went into what I knew to be only building in area of campus open at that time. There he was..on a bench, sitting..looking..hard to describe. Lost? disappointed? sad..
    “Hi.” I said. he pulled back a bit in surprise. “don’t worry. I am a friend.” I told him my name. he told me his. and…..I knew. “he’s the one”. I just knew
    that was 26 years ago. Each day I think when i see him “I am happy I followed you”
    yesterday, he went to part time at work. I kind of wish he had quit. But, when ill people don’t work at all, sometimes, that leads to even faster decline. He is so so ill, as most of you know. But he is with me. My valentine, and I consider myself the luckiest of men.

    • Corsair Tact

      One of the many lessons of your beautiful story is how very important it is to heed those dykes in charge. They ALWAYS know!

      • Octavio

        They do. Damn it.

        • Gene

          oh yes…much like the hypno toad…the lesbians must always be obeyed, I quite concur

    • JCF

      {{{Gene & Valentine}}}

      Damn onions…

      “in an Episcopal church basement” (while at university): I didn’t even know I was gay yet, but that’s where my mind was blown, too. And people wonder why we’re still Episcopalians, huh?

  • Alan43

    Hope to have a story like that myself. Starting to date men for the first time at 44. Valentine’s Day the adventure will start…

    • TuuxKabin

      Good way to look at it, an adventure. We wish you luck with it!

  • TuuxKabin

    The first snow after John Lennon was murdered I walked by the Dakota, just to ‘bear witness’, hopped a downtown train, chilled to the bone and went to Man’s Country, a bath house in Chelsea. We noticed each other, I followed him to his cubicle and have been in love with this nice Irish boy, from the Bronx, aka el Husbian, ever since. We finally moved in together in ’97, domestic partnership in 2001, and married 2010.

  • Cary Chauvet

    Met my husband when I was 14, he was 16. He was my brother’s best friend. He married at 19 and divorced 2 years later. We became best friends and I eventually confessed my love for him. He freaked, three days later he came back and said he felt the same. We moved in and finished college together. He started a commercial architectural firm and I started an online business. One morning he slipped into the shower with me and asked me to marry him. We announced the engagement at Sunday family dinner and married in my Dad’s beautiful backyard in 2004. His parents and sister were there as were my six siblings and Dad. We remarried in 2008 on the black beaches of Hawaii with both sets of grandparents. Bought an old Victorian that year, gutted and remodeled it, and have been together for 13 years and married for 10 this coming June. His firm has grown to 12 employees and I now run 3 online businesses. We have a dog named Skipper and four cats, all sisters. He is my whole world.

    • Gene

      πŸ™‚

      beautiful love story. so nice to read that. especially the grandparents part…so nice that more and more, our families are part of our stories. not so, not so very long ago

    • Matt

      Reading this my eyes started to water. πŸ™‚ How lucky you both are to have found each other. Your devotion is commendable. Thanks for sharing.

    • Sweet!

  • delk

    17 years ago, my husband worked up the nerve to walk into his very first gay bar. I was the bartender.

    He didn’t have a chance. πŸ˜‰

    • TuuxKabin

      I know what you mean.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      That must have been some first drink. :=).

  • pickypecker

    Remember AOL m4m chat rooms? Hubby and I met for a hookup at his place one day; turned into several times a week, phone calls, sleep overs and within a few months I had sold my house and moved in with him. 2 Civil unions (different US cities) domestic partnership and now considering marriage. I’d marry him over and over again, of course. But have told him NO more big shindigs (caterers, florists…yadda yadda). After so many times, we just don’t need more chachka from family and friends. πŸ™‚

    • pickypecker

      oh…..celebrating 15 years this October.

      • TuuxKabin

        Congratulations!

      • Bj Lincoln

        I know what you mean. My wife celebrates the day we met, the day we had our big commitment and the day we got married. Our friends introduced us at the only place in our small town. Her baby blue eyes made my heart skip a beat. After talking all night over coffee at my house, i don’t drink, she kissed me on the forehead when she left. That was 11 years ago.

        • TuuxKabin

          Sweet.

    • BearEyes

      ah, sweet modem song dialing into AOL …..
      I hear ya about the no big shindig. We had a JP, my sister, and a couple of friends. Then I cooked dinner for us all.

  • David Walker

    Thank you, Joe, for following the hate preacher’s crap with this. It couldn’t be more appropriate.

  • Ray Taylor

    New years eve 1980 I went home early. Just after noon NY day I went to The Badlands in the Castro. The bar was very packed with hungover guys looking to trick. I was watching some guy across the room when this young guy pushed in to ask the bartender if they found any sunglasses last night. I laughed at him, being kind of bitch, and told him they were probably crushed in the crowd. I ended up bringing him to my place. And we are still together 35 years.

    • TuuxKabin

      35 years for us two too. Congratulations!

    • Gianpiero

      I love this story. And I dig that even now, Badlands can take me back (in a good way) to being there in the 80s and 90s. In fact, without planning to, my husband and I ended up there this New Years.

  • Jamie Brewer

    I met my Ron Good Friday 1985 at Happy hour in a bar in Rochester, NY. The first time our eyes locked i knew he was the one as my stomach turned to pins and needles. Ron tested positive and seven years later, 1992 he was gone. We made the most of those years. There is not a day goes by I don’t think of him. 1992 was a watershed year in I lost half my address book. Something died in me that year. I doubt I’ll ever experience such love again. Dan Savage gave advice on a broadcast which pretty much mirrored my life to a caller who was searching for the perfect mate. It was basically, “Live your life in a way that makes you happy. If you can find someone to love great! But, if you don’t find that person, when al;l is said and done you will leave this earth having lived a happy life.”

    • Gene

      I know many men who, when their man tested positive and they did not, they bailed.
      you did not. you were in love, and, having been IN love, know HOW to love, and while it wont be the same (how could it be? with them being different men..and, you being different for the experience) you sound like a catch to me. May you, and some lucky man, if it is meant to be, meet soon

      Till then, follow that good advice and be happy. I of course did not know your Ron, but, I think its a safe bet that that is exactly what he would want.

  • oikos

    At a gay bar during a strip show. The strippers were awful and we left and went to an all night diner for breakfast. That was 22 years ago.

    • Todd20036

      Cut me some slack. I had an off night!

  • Charles in Bloomington

    We were introduced by a mutual friend in a dive where I was playing pool. We were immediately attracted to each other, but he was more eager than I was. Followed me around for the next few days, until we finally went out on our first date. We were together 19 years, married for four, until he passed away in December. This is going to be a tough Valentine’s Day.

    • Jake

      My thoughts are with you.

    • TuuxKabin

      Charles, your grief is still fresh, and understandably Sunday won’t be easy.

      I don’t think there are many words that sooth a loss, but there is one message I kept, when I lost my father in 1997:

      “Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know that they are happy.” Author Unknown

    • Gene

      my thoughts and my prayers, are with you.
      19 years..and he was loved to the end. I dont know what you believe, but, I believe the love endures. it never ends. whatever you believe, you have my sympathy at this time. I cannot imagine it. I think the quote tuxxKabin wrote below says it so so much better than I did, and I defer to his words on this, but I wanted to write something to you…I hope this came across the way I meant it. I am sorry you lost the love of your life, but I am happy for you both that you were so loved..

      • TuuxKabin

        Thank you for the compliment, but don’t short cut, or short change yourself Gene. You expressed your thoughts here and in a thread to Jamie, I had to rely on something already written. You defer to me, I defer to you. What our intent is, is to comfort Charles, hopefully we’ve done that. I hope this Sunday is good to you. Going to be the coldest day of the season here.

    • Mike in Texas

      Sending a big hug to you.

    • fuzzybits

      Big hugs. ❀

  • MarkOH

    24 years ago, I went to a bar with a friend of mine. There was country western dancing. This man came up with dark black hair and beard with piercing blue eyes (and a dark blue hanky in his left pocket). He asked if either of us wanted to dance. I practically pushed my friend away and said “yes”. We twirled around the floor. We slowed danced to Dolly Parton singing “I Will Always Love you” (now our song). We danced for 20 years, square and CW. We still like to go dancing, when we have the time.
    And 24 years later, although the hair has some silver in it, the blue eyes sparkle as much as ever.

    • Corsair Tact

      So beautiful. Thank you!

  • Butch

    We met at a health club…were both seeing other people at the time and both were “what am I thinking” relationships….24 years now and counting.

  • Jake

    Isn’t it striking how many of us posting here are describing long-term, life-changing relationships? I met mine in the old Hotel Meurice in NYC. I was 19. We got together later in London. Isn’t it wonderful that young men and women now can know they can have a long-term legal framework for their marriage? So that first rush of desire, infatuation, and longing can lead to what comes next, the chance to beat the odds and make a life together.

    BTW. I’m only posting as a guest because I can’t get disqus to send a confirmation email.

  • Rex

    Reading these comments is really quite wonderful. It does my heart good to hear about happy, long term couples. I have no story to share, since I’ve experienced love, but it didn’t last. I only hope that I will have a story to share in the future.

    • Rex

      At my age, the first line of the story will read “we met at the social security office, then we realized we go to the same urologist.”

    • CanuckDon

      I think if love entered our lives those are also stories worth sharing even if they didn’t last a lifetime. Maybe some episodes of love are finite…something meant to add more colour to our personal histories.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3dNY1YwBVU

      • Rex

        I suppose you’re right, but for me, it still hurts to talk about it.

  • Mark

    No one in 20 years now.

    • Octavio

      Son, we gotta start getting you out on the street before noon before all the good ones are gone. Put yourself in my hands and Octavio will arrange a good marriage for you. πŸ™‚

      • pickypecker
        • Todd20036

          Sigh, Robin. Gone too soon

      • Corsair Tact
      • Mark

        ‘fraid I’m a little long in the tooth for that these days.

        • Corsair Tact

          It’s NEVER too late!

          • Mark

            Thanks Ted but that bus left the station a long time ago.

        • Octavio

          Last week we attended a wedding reception for a couple, both in their 80s, who met when they joined the Prime Timers (an organization for old gay farts who eat dinner at 4:30 PM). The same group holds an annual clothing optional gathering in Las Vegas at the “gay” hotel a couple of blocks off The Strip. I’ve never attended, but I understand it’s quite the ribald bacchanal for the Social Security Set. Once a month they crowd a private dining room at The Joker’s Wild Casino in Henderson to eat breakfast. We’ve attended that event several times. Imagine speed dating for seniors with a $1.95 breakfast special. Very entertaining. πŸ™‚

  • TuuxKabin

    Apart from my 35 years with el Husbian it’s about three years I’ve been with all you flying monkeys which has added a lot of vim and vigor to my life and relationship. MUAH to all of you and I hope Sunday finds you warm, cozy and contented.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Reading many of the members love stories here, what a great tribute to a truly Valentine’s Day. Thank you for sharing. It makes me less cynical and restore a bit of my faith in true love.

    • pickypecker

      You have a new avatar pic! Sweet!

      • TuuxKabin

        Yeah, I thought I noticed that new bambinoitaliano avatar earlier and been waiting to tell you how becoming it is, tho my fav is the one before the last one, with that nose in the forefront.

  • Octavio

    I was living in Barcelona. It was January. A cold front crashed down on Europe and it snowed for two weeks. It never snows in Barcelona. But it did. For two weeks. I complained. Friends from Argentina suggested I go to Buenos Aires. It never snows in Buenos Aires. So, I did. I knew nothing about Argentina and thought I could walk BsAs the same way I walked BCN (a very walkable city). The heat got to me one afternoon and I took refuge in a resto bar on the corner of Suipacha and Corrientes (theatre district). This young man kept smiling at me from the other side of the dining area. When I left the resto bar he left, too. A block north I realized he was following me. I took the bull by the horns and waved for him to catch up. Up close I noticed he had a big gap in his upper front teeth. It was love at first sight. He followed me home. He’s been with me ever since.

    Object lesson: Feral mixed breed puppies make the best companions.

    • TuuxKabin

      Give me a good ol’ mutt mix anytime, they’re uncannily clever with a good sense of humor.

      BTW Octavio, ever read The Story of the Night, by Colim Toibin? It’s set in BA just before the Falklands War and progresses into contemporary times. He’s the same author of Brooklyn.

      • Octavio

        I haven’t read that, but I’ll keep my eye out for a copy. El Squeeze was diagnosed with serious hypertension yesterday. His cholesterol is also through the roof. He insists the doctor has made a mistake. He’s banging stuff around in the kitchen right now waiting for me to get off the Internet thingy so we can pick up his new prescriptions. It’s back to being vegetarians for both of us. πŸ™‚

        • TuuxKabin

          Provecho. Once you two get his cholesterol back down hopefully you’ll be able to maintain it with a combo diet of veggies and the other layer of that food pyramid.

          • Octavio

            He’s really in no serious danger (yet), but as he grows older I love watching him fret over his receding hairline and checking out his guns in every mirror he passes. He is, after all, a porteΓ±o. They consider vanity a virtue. LOL!

          • TuuxKabin

            Ay que los portenos, que guapos, y chingados buenos.

          • Octavio

            Definitivamente, tienen penes grandes y otros talentos, tambiΓ©n.

    • perversatile

      -this will be on the next cake.

  • David Walker

    I met my guy the way we were told we shouldn’t…through the classifieds. There was this longish ad that quoted a lot from “Being Alive” from Sondheim’s “Company.” I was hooked. I contacted him. He was the editor of the Philadelphia Gay News, so he was allowed to have a larger ad. We corresponded and decided to get together. He wanted to get out of the city, so he took the train, we instantly recognized each other on the station platform, had dinner, and although we lived apart for a bit, we’ve been a couple for 37 years. He says that what sealed the deal was when I quoted a then-popular song which now tends to turn up on the 10 Worst Songs of the ’70s lists. “I’m not talkin’ ’bout movin’ in/And I don’t want to change your life./But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around/And I’d really love to see you tonight.” It is Our Song.
    We considered getting married, but since we are older, we discovered that his SSI would be considerably lessened if we married…just like straight people. Which, actually, is the ultimate point, isn’t it? Marriage equality means marriage equality. So we’ve decided to continue shacking up.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiiPdARuPh8

    • TuuxKabin

      There is something very romantic about shacking up.

      • David Walker

        Romantic. And naughty.

        • TuuxKabin

          Yeah, it’s the naughty I was thinking of but it didn’t come to mind. Anyway, the system has forced you into your arrangement, sounds like you’re making the best of it! So, shacking up is the best revenge.

          • David Walker

            Plus we’re used to it.

    • Jake

      That’s so sweet. But I think you’re mistaken about SS. I would urge you to consult a book entitled Get What’s Yours by Laurence Kotlikoff. From it I learned how to claim spousal benefit’s on my husband/s SS while delaying my own claim till I’m 70 thereby greatly increasing my benefit. Anyhow, good luck.

      • David Walker

        Thanks for the tip. I’ll check it out.

  • TuuxKabin

    Two songs about meeting somebody. E Street Shuffle and Leader of the Pack, song by the Divine Ms. Midler, live.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBzFwqbAXeM

  • unsavedheathen

    I was touring guests from out of town through the seedier watering holes of Hollywood. We walked into the Spike in WEHO around one a.m. in July of 1990. I was wearing polka-dot long johns and jackboots. I still had my INXS hair. He was bent over the pool table(playing pool) and when he stood we were face to face(it was pretty crowded). Caesar cut, nerd prescription Wayfarers, smokin’ hot in 501’s that were more hole than denim. He told me he liked my long johns. We talked and eventually parted(I had my guests in tow). He was on his motorcycle and it was hard not hopping on. He showed up at my job the next day(it was my birthday) with an armful of gerbers. I was done.

    Ups and downs but we’ve been together since that night/morning and we were married last July exactly 25 years later.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Uh-Huh. Did Matt’s BF sign up for that beard?

  • Lumpy Gaga

    I got picked up off a street corner.

    Happy VD!

  • Gianpiero

    September 1982, just before the start of my sophomore year in college, I decided to step out of my comfort zone not only by going to a dance put on by the (oddly named, in retrospect) Gay and Lesbian Union at UC Berkeley but by being the sort of guy who makes the first move. (If I was going to do this, I was going to jump in with both feet.) I had already danced with several people that night when I saw this guy standing a little forward of the crowd and tapping his foot while he watched the others, and I thought, “Well, he’s a probable ‘yes.'” It’s safe to say, 33 1/3 years later, that that was an understatement.

  • bob

    Summer of 1976, at the Chester in Atlantic City . I kept telling my friend Henry that the guy sitting at the bar was the one for me ! Others must have thought the same, as I had to wait for over a month to get my shot at him , lol.

  • Drew2u

    I’ve yet to meet my true love but I’ll tell a story about my first love:
    I was in college, knowing I was gay since I was 11, but coming from a tiny town I was really introverted and trying to reach outside my comfort zone. Still, in college I felt like an outsider – even in an art major. I joined an art website and posted some of my creations just for friends to look at and for my own records.
    Some stranger made a positive comment on one of my submissions, asking questions about it and we got into an engaging conversation. I visited his page and saw that he, too, was a digital artist (and very good vs my amateur works). Of course I also learned that he lived in Italy.
    It turned out we had a few similar interests including the same taste in books. He buys his favorites off of Amazon and sent them to me to read so we could talk about them. I wake up at 5am just to talk to him and he stays up past 1am his time.
    Through all of this, I learn about his other friends both online and offline and I ask if he’s seeing any of them; he says no.

    A year into college I have the opportunity to go Europe for a Winter Semester class and I do. Back in the U.S. I actually meet up with some of his other friends and sort-of become part of that circle, despite those distances still being 300+ miles away from me. My introverted self is suddenly doing things the freshman me wouldn’t have imagined doing. The shell was breaking.
    The Winter Semester class, which I could take multiple times, happened every two years. I figured that would mean the Winter/Spring of my senior year in college would be my next chance to go to Europe and I could try meeting up with the guy. Unfortunately it was pushed back another year and would make me ineligible for the trip. In order to be eligible for it again, I found an internship (sorta) on the other side of the U.S. that would push my graduation back a year. I spend a semester at the internship, on my own for the first time, away from anyone I know. The lil’ me is growing up.
    I head back home after the internship and would have a December graduation but a couple classes needed extra work and I’d have a rare mid-semester graduation in spring. Perfect.
    I sign up for the Winter Semester class again and work with the international department to arrange new flights and return dates. The final week of the WinTerm class I’m able to go off on my own and I travel through Germany and take a flight to Italy by myself.
    I arrive in Milan’s airport, bemused by the cries of “Bergamo!” by the nearby tourist info kiosk. I find my bags and I sit and wait, in trepidation.
    Then there he was, walking through the airport, searching everywhere. The fatigue of my red-eye flight wearing off as he spots me and runs up to give me the biggest and warmest hug I’ve ever had, laughing the entire time.

    I then spend an unbelievable, incredible week of long hours but too little time with him. I’m introduced to his family, sample their wine and given a meal of traditional dishes – a language barrier between his mom and I not stopping both of us from teasing him.
    The final morning we get up really early because I have to catch a flight to Schipol before making the journey home, myself. All the other students having left by that point. We part and I try as hard as I can to remember what he smelled like.
    It’s been 7 years since that trip, and 11 since his first anonymous-person comment. We still keep in contact with each other, but we never were a thing. Still, the friendship and love that I felt encouraged that cloistered shell around me to shatter and become more of a person than I ever thought I was capable of. My gratitude for that will never be enough.

  • Steve Teeter

    I met my Alden when I took his class in music theory at UCLA. He was a demanding professor but you didn’t mind because he was so nice about it. He made the first move, inviting me to his study, then asking me out for dinner. I may have been a virgin, but I knew what he was suggesting, and decided I wanted it. At the end of the school year I moved in with him, first in a small house in Van Nuys, then in our big house in Reseda. Oh, we threw some marvelous parties there, including massive jam sessions with elderly New Orleans jazz musicians who had retired to L.A. He kept teaching and I kept the house and served as his secretary, as on the computer I could type almost as fast as he dictated. After the Northridge Earthquake gave us a clear “get out!” sign, I got a job at the Louisiana State Museum in New Orleans. Alden retired and followed me, and we wound up living in a large condo on Napoleon Ave.

    When we met I was 19 and he was 42. Do the math. I did. I realized what the age difference meant, That if I stuck with this man it would eventually end with me helping him through his last illness. A few years ago he started getting weaker. He took to his bed and in time became too weak to get out of it, even to get into his wheelchair. I no longer had the museum job so I was able to tend to him 24/7. He just grew weaker, though his mind was still sharp. Then he had to go to the hospital, which he hated, with infected bed sores. The prognosis was good, with a long hospital stay, but that was not to be. One day he suddenly went into respiratory and cardiac arrest. They resuscitated him with the paddles, but by then his mind was gone. He was totally unresponsive. He lived — technically — for a little over a day. Though he couldn’t know it, I was holding his hand at the end.

    Alden died on January 29, 2016. Exactly two weeks ago today.

    • SFBruce

      I’m so sorry. Alden was lucky to have you as his partner, and don’t be so sure he had no awareness of your presence at the end.

    • TuuxKabin

      Steve, I’ll always think of Alden and you on my birthday, January 29. You beloved died on my 70th birthday. Thinking of you.

    • Mike in Texas

      Sending you a big hug, Seve

    • fuzzybits

      32 years here and I just can’t fathom that day if it’s him before me. Sending you a great big hug.

  • Mike in Texas

    We met in graduate school. We were both graduate teaching assistants and met in a faculty meeting. At the time I was in a funny mental place after breaking up with someone about 4 months earlier. I didn’t really want to be in a relationship and was indulging in some serious post-breakup sluttiness. What I didn’t know at the time is that Ed is persistent to a fault and eventually broke through my resistance to starting another relationship.
    Last November we celebrated our 45th anniversary. I guess that just about says it all. It has been a wonderful journey through all these years. We did eventually get married shortly after the Windsor decision. But somehow wedding anniversaries are not quite the same as what we consider our real anniversary.
    We both retired now, so our journey has taken a new path. We’re as busy as we were when working, but with things that are more relaxed and fun.