Gary Bauer: America Needs Sanctuary Cities For Conservative Christians

“What if there were sanctuary cities for religious conservatives? Imagine if some city in red-state America – perhaps Little Rock, Arkansas; Dallas, Texas; or Bowling Green, Kentucky – decided to be a refuge for unborn children and refused to grant business licenses to abortion clinics. What if a city decided that it was going to be a sanctuary city for the Ten Commandments and displayed them in schools, libraries, and the county courthouse? What if a city decided that it was important for children to have mothers and fathers, declared itself a sanctuary city for traditional marriage, and refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples? Remember when liberals said that illegal immigrants needed to be granted legal status in order to bring them ‘out of the shadows’ of society? Remember when liberals insisted that gays needed to be given full marriage rights so that they could step out of the closet? Well, these groups may have emerged from the shadows and stepped out of the closet. But those places won’t stay empty for long. Christians, if liberals have their way, will soon fill them.” – Gary Bauer, writing for American Thinker.

  • Phil

    All we’d have to do then is put an electric fence around them.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Just to prevent the illegals from venturing into their compound of course.

    • Chucktech

      Electric Fence unto others as you’d have them electric fence unto you.

  • chrisinphx

    How about Moscow Russia or some scenic spot in Africa?

    • b

      He can leave the country.

    • ScottJL

      Exactly, if these countries are so amazing because they are conservative, why don’t we hear about all the people rushing off to live in them?

    • Blake Jordan

      Exchange these F-heads for Russian LGBTs…

      • bambinoitaliano

        Hmmm not a bad idea. But Russia have to pretty up it’s country to make it more alluring. Do they have nice trailers and parks?

        • MDB
          • bambinoitaliano

            Throw in a couple of those Mormon towers for good measure.

          • dinosaurtime

            Am I crazy, or could this setup be really cool if done right? Maybe with repurposed shipping crates, or little cabins or something. It would be like a treehouse but not. And of course you’d have to do something else with the weird landscaping.

          • Chucktech

            Absolutely! All this idea needs is just a little more fleshing out…

          • MDB

            Like this new commercial development currently under construction here in Albuquerque using shipping containers. The verticals are now being added and are all shades of green. This will be really cool when finished, hopefully by next spring.


          • JustSayin

            That’s pretty Awesome…trailer trash condos

    • bambinoitaliano

      I think Texas is big enough. If not those offshore oil rigs can be expanded. Logistically, they can park their Arks for the next impending flood from their irate god.

      • Chucktech

        Actually, the way things seem to be going for American Christendom, Texas is WAAAAY too big…

    • bkmn

      I know of a certain dentist that already has his room reserved in Zimbabwe.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Ha- we posted at the exact same time Mr. bkmn.

  • Rocco Gibraltar

    Please, please, please do it. Point me to the go fund me page.

  • MattM

    Gary, it’s called the South.

  • j.martindale

    I hear Guantanamo is opening up. Start there.

  • KQCA

    We should bring back state-funded insane asylums. Problem solved.

  • Jan Wesselius

    Go get you own country, this one is taken.

    • Chucktech

      Now, now, they only want a city, not the whole country. My, my, look at what they’ve been reduced to…

  • delk

    If you want to play ‘what if’…

    What if you weren’t such a bigoted asshole?
    Imagine what a far better world we would live in.

    • MDB

      What if we built a lovely city with electrified fences around it’s borders for our fundamentalist friends……oh wait – then we would be doing unto them as they would us.
      Let’s just let them create their own paradise of hatred in Bessemer, Alabama; Waco, Texas and Topeka, Kansas.

    • tristram

      The obvious ‘what if’ that they NEVER mention –

      “What if a city decided that it was important for children to have mothers and fathers, declared itself a sanctuary city for traditional marriage, and refused to allow divorces or provide public services or discrimination protections for single parents and their children?

      You know, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”??

      • John Masters

        What if that city got its ass sued off for violating practically every article and amendment to the Constitution?

        • JW Swift

          Exactly my thought: “What if there was no ‘equal protection’ clause in the Constitution?”

        • RaygunsGoZap

          But first, in rolls the National Guard to reclaim American soil and round up all the traitors! Mayor, city council, all the police, etc.

        • Shy Guy

          That was my first thought too.

          I suspect he’s thinking of sanctuary more in the medieval “hide in a church and be immune to arrest” sense, only broadening it to whole cities.

          Of course, there are very good reasons why we don’t have that any more. Turning a whole city into a constitution-free theocracy is a wet dream for dominionist loons though.

  • Mike Rasor

    Oh Gary, I can imagine it. It would mean those cities were completely bankrupt when they get sued into the ground for violating the constitution.

    Gary doesn’t have a problem with liberals. He actually just hates America.

    • Chucktech

      He says:

      “What if a city decided that it was going to be a sanctuary city for the Ten Commandments and displayed them in schools, libraries, and the county courthouse?”

      Except for the county courthouse thing (unless they plan to secede from the US), if they don’t accept federal funding or taxpayer money for those schools and libraries (meaning make them private), sure! Go for it!

      But that’s not what they mean, now, is it?

      • Gustav2

        just like all the charitable ‘ministries’ want to keep the Fed money but don’t want to serve certain US citizens.

      • Mike Rasor

        For a city to make the decision to display the ten commandments, those institutions would have to be public institutions and the establishment clause of the first amendment would be in play. If a city tried to privatize all schools, that would also likely be unconstitutional (southern cities tried this to avoid desegregation and courts shot the plans down). Finally, a city cannot decide that private institutions will display the ten commandments because that would be compelled speech which is forbidden by the first amendment.

        • Chucktech

          Actually, it’s perfectly legal for them to display religious crap in schools, libraries, courthouses and jails, for that matter. All they have to do is let the Devil worshipers do the same. Ain’t gonna happen.

  • JD

    The difference between LGBT people and the christofascists is that we want to expand rights to as many people as possible, and they want to limit/destroy the rights of others.

    • HadenoughBS

      Oh, boo hoo, Bauer, you fraidy cat.

      Why are so many of these Christianists afraid of us? Do they fear their God doesn’t love them enough for hating on us (and other minority groups)?? They’re sad and pitiful heartless people who deserve nothing less than a jolt of sanity and clarity from Jeebus.

      • JT

        Well, in Bauer’s case, I think there’s more in the closet than clothes.

        • John Masters

          Seriously…he’s shouldn’t be calling so much attention to himself by talking about coming out of closets.

          I’ve always wondered if he and Lindsey Graham were lovers?

          • MDB

            Bauer’s pancakes and Linsdeybelle’s ham biscuits. They should open a restaurant chain: Two Pigs in a Blanket


          • Six Pins Delores


          • NMNative

            That is too disgusting to contemplate. The straight buybull thumping asswipes can keep those two. I don’t want to even think about them being gay.

        • ExGayTherapyKills

          The moon would make a nice sanctcuary city.

          • RaygunsGoZap

            No. The moon is for us. They get Mercury.

          • Mike__in_Houston

            I hear that Pluto is nice this time of year…

      • Chucktech

        Problem is, Jeebus is a hoax.

      • madknits

        They are terrified that we are going to do to them what they have done to us for so long.

        • ExGayTherapyKills

          God knows that is the truth.

          • BudClark


        • NMNative

          Exactly right. It’s what they would do. So, they assume it’s what others would do as well.

      • Rambie

        They are scared because it feeds into their persecution complex and “do unto others” is starting to bite them on the ass.

        Karma is a bitch like that.

      • cleos_mom

        If one of their billboards featured here recently is any indication, their god is totally clueless as to what to do and needs their help.

  • bambinoitaliano

    As long as all of them agree to be conserve in one specific area I’m all for it. Like the Mennonites and the Amish, keeping their interaction with the outside world to a minimum.

    • Gustav2

      The couple with the former Lutheran church as a wedding business in Iowa were Mennonites and wanted more interaction with the outside world, except the gay. The Amish set up businesses to interact with the outside world…they will build me a house. Both communities are active in Sarasota, FL life in the winter.

      • bambinoitaliano

        Yes but the Mennonites and the Amish have the lead start. So we can’t expect these christianists to be that advance. Baby steps, give them a few centuries, they will eventually catch up or not if we decide to leave the earth.

        • Octavio

          Is there a chance we may see Amish and Mennonite-owned gay bars in the near future?

          • bambinoitaliano

            It’s only the beard, a hat and a long black dress and some body odor. If that’s your kink 😛

          • Octavio

            I was thinking more along the lines of the Marriott family who own a huge string of hotels with bars. Other momos don’t drink in their bars, just the wicked folks who know how to enjoy themselves.

          • bambinoitaliano

            Well thats more to do with decorating. I’m sure we can build some wooden sheds to make them look more inviting.

          • Chucktech

            That’s where the money is…

          • Gustav2

            Yes, the chain of bars will be called, Perpetual Rumspringa

    • CottonBlimp

      Those poor kids, though…

      • bambinoitaliano

        Well the male lion will kill other cubs that sired by competing rival. As are many poor newborn animals in the wild become the food source of other predators. Such is the nature of things. We as human can’t interfere with nature to upset the circle of life. These people are the same and we have to accept such is their life.

        • B Snow

          This is why I can’t watch nature documentaries.

  • ScottJL

    I thought most southern states were sanctuaries, or at least think they are.

    • McSwagg

      That’s why they call it the Bible Belt.

  • Blake Jordan

    Isn’t this what ISIS is trying to do in the Middle East, but with their version of extremist Islam???

    CSUSA – Christianist State of the United States of America…

    • Where is Nehemiah Scudder when Bauer clearly *needs* him.

      (In Heinlein’s fictional universe, Scudder, a “backwoods preacher” remarkably similar to the real life Mike Huckabee, is elected President in 2012 and there is no 2016 election . . . )

  • olandp

    There is, it is called Somalia.

    • grada3784

      How can that be a sanctuary, when it’s already a libertarian paradise, complete with free cholera?

      • McSwagg

        And replete with unencumbered private, er pirate, enterprise.

  • Sk3ptic

    Yeah, it works great until people start reproducing. Then all hell breaks loose when those babies reveal themselves as creative types, queers, intellectuals…then you’re right back where you started.
    Humans beget humans. Find a way to deal with it.

    • canoebum

      But those children can be pushed out and the gates slammed behind them. Suffer the little children to fend for themselves in a cruel and dangerous world. It’s “God’s” will.

      • RoFaWh

        That’s what the FLDS does to its male children, the better to eliminate competition for young poontang by the old farts. [I wonder how much Viagra is consumed by the elders of the FLDS?]

        It’s a serious problem: boys in their teens are suddenly expelled, but have no life skills, no familiarity with ordinary society, etc. (Think of Bush junior being astonished at cash registers that scan the goods.)

        • MDB

          Whacko in Waco !!!! Those innocent boys are expelled with no education or coping skills, so the lecherous pedophile curmudgeons can molest their sisters. Just as the Kolobian FLDS gawds intended. It is truly heartbreaking.

        • marshlc

          And broken hearted at losing the only home they’ve ever known, their families, their entire society…..

          It’s truly evil, and not enough people know about it.

      • McSwagg

        Ah, yes. The time honored ‘scapegoat’ option.

      • cleos_mom

        But if it was isolated, rescue organizations could be set up. The trick would be to get the goobers to leave their gay kids at a point just outside the city limits instead of physically abusing them or turning them over to religious sadists promising to “cure” them.

  • lattebud

    He forgot “Where poor and hungry would be housed, fed, clothed, educated and receive medical care.” Or maybe not

    • bambinoitaliano

      They have good role model from the duggars. But why do we care if they want to have their own conservatory. Some of them can kiss the snakes to heal their ails so it’s all good.

    • Chucktech

      Yeah, he didn’t forget shit…

    • MDB

      But what happens to the gay/lesbian kids they WILL have ? I guess we’ll just have to love and adopt them via monthly rescue helicopter flights out of that nightmare !!

    • Steverino

      And it’s funny how theofascists like him are fond of every one of the Ten Commandments except the 6th, 7th, 9th and 10th.

      • Mark

        Cherry pickin’ at it’s finest.

  • JD

    In a way, this is pretty heartening. The christofascists are only asking for cities instead of the whole country. Cue the music for Lowered Expectaaa-aaations.

    • Gustav2

      They have been talking about going “Amish” but fail to understand the Amish do business with anyone with the cash. They don’t make others not use cars, etc.

      • Chucktech

        Unlike christopsychotics, the Amish seem to have some brains.

        • 2karmanot

          Only once a year

  • HeyBudBoston

    What if pre-marital sex and divorce and adultery were all punishable sins…. even by stoning sometimes?

    • Sk3ptic


      • McSwagg

        Yeah, I know. He shouldn’t let the fornicators off the hook like that.

    • StSean

      more like, “what if christians did stone adulterers and disobedient children to death as is commanded in the bible? i mean, what’s stopping them?”

      • Herald

        There would be very few left.

    • Stev84

      The demand for stones would sky rocket.

      • Bad Tom

        Buy stone stock!!!

  • Mark

    I suppose it is our fault they believe we’ve only been out of the closet for the last few weeks….

  • Soren456

    A closeted Christian is a VERY good idea.

    • olandp

      That is what Jeebus called for.

      Matthew 6:6. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast
      shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father
      which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

      • Soren456

        Yeah. But I was thinking of a more permanent situation.

        Maybe with locks on the door.

        • Chucktech

          Some padding on the walls might also be a good idea…

  • Blake Jordan

    Is “American Thinker” meant to be ironic, like “Intelligent Design”?

    • DaveDocSC

      Exactly my first thought… I could picture Bugs (of the Bunny) in my mind saying, “Isn’t that iconicle?”.

    • sherman

      “American Thinker – the magazine for people who want to be told what to think.”

      • RaygunsGoZap

        By traitors

        • Mark

          By ignorant traitors.

  • Bj Lincoln

    I think they be forced to live in a civil society where everyone is free and equal under the law of a secular government. A society where everyone is free to believe what they want as long as they keep it out of the public sphere. Oh! Wait! Never mind.

    • bambinoitaliano

      I can see why orangutans would not be fit to live in the cities. We can model after one of our zoo environment and fit them in. Of course it will be multiple gated for their own safety.

  • Mike in Texas

    I supposed he’s learned all about how individual cities can refuse to issue marriage license from his crack legal team at Liberty Counsel.

  • Alaska

    That city would receive a well deserved beat down from the federal government that would be so very satisfying to watch

  • bkmn

    You can only have your little enclaves if you don’t get tax exempt status for them and you pay in your fair share of taxes, which I can’t see Bauer and his fellow assholes doing.

  • 2karmanot

    Hmmm, Gary Bauer, he who fell off a stage flipping pancakes and made a fortune selling Millennium packages to frightened End of Days’ marks. So, it’s now Crackpot Ghettos for fetus fetishists, What could possibly go wrong?

    • McSwagg

      True to form, as soon as the baby is born, mother and child would be expelled through the city gates to fend for themselves.

      Edit: That is what Abraham and Sarah did to Hagar and her son Ishmael.

      • 2karmanot

        Yep, use em and lose em.

  • grada3784

    This guy needs a full orchestra of tiny violins.

  • Sean Williams

    It would be the biggest welfare city in the country.

    • bambinoitaliano

      We should look at Wayward Pine as a model. Them being the Abbies, we can either fence them in or fence them out.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    You forgot sanctuary cities for poaching dentists gary.

  • Mark_in_MN

    Demonstrating once again the oxymoronic nature of that outlet’s name.

  • amboy00

    Cities do not give out marriage licenses, counties do. And Dallas voted for Obama, so it’s kind of a sanctuary city for us!

  • Gustav2

    This is the meme of the week that won’t stick, Matty Boy says the same thing:

    • RoFaWh

      Another crazy meme spreading like some skin disease.

  • Megatron Man

    I get a view of this “utopia” weekly on AMC. No televisions for 1MM to fuss about, no issues about improper monuments, they kill gays if they get too close, no abortions, no personality, no brains. Go make yourself at home.

  • StSean

    “if liberals have their way..” we will be left alone to advance civilization, making the world a better place for all. and have starships. definitely starships.

    • Octavio

      Don’t forget my flying car, too. 🙂

      • StSean

        you can have a shuttle.

      • Bad Tom

        Flying cars are well on the way. Several makers are readying them for sale. That is a real sign that a technological promise is coming true.

        You will still have to be able to fly however, which seems to be a genuine sticking point.

        • McSwagg

          Nope. Robotic pilots will fly them for us.

          • Bad Tom

            Go read up. Use reputable publications, such as Aviation Week.*
            None of the flying cars / roadable planes being prepared for sale now have ‘robotic pilots’.

            By which I guess you mean an autopilot that will solve all the issues created by flying cars around in the sky, and which can guide such a flying car autonomously under all conditions.

            There are no such ‘robotic pilots’ in full size airplanes that cost multiple hundreds of millions of dollars. Those still require professional pilots to fly them, and will for quite some time.

            How could a flying car, which costs in the few hundred thousand dollar range (still kinda pricy for the average family) have a better autopilot than a Boeing or Airbus?
            * The New Flying Cars: How They Work
            Terrafugia Plans Follow-On Flying Car
            Autobahn To Airborne: Germany’s Carplane Unveils Flying-Car Prototype

    • Trog

      And silver capes. A silver cape in every closet.

      • No capes!
        / Edna Mode

        But yes, imagine. Moving forward with social policy, equality, a workable economy…

      • nocadrummer

        The Catholics in his “sanctuary” get red capes!

      • 2karmanot

        And matching knee boots!

    • BudClark

      And some of the first need to be named “The UFP Matthew Shepard,” The UFP Alan Turing,” The UFP Judy Garland,” The UFP Sojourner Truth,” etc.

  • radiofreerome

    Emma Lazarus spins in her grave.

  • John P.

    Does he means sanctuaries for white privilege?

    • Chucktech

      Oh, c’mon, must we spell it out for you in so many words??

  • Michael Rush

    Conservative Christians are already protected from reality by their thick skulls .

    • Octavio

      It’s frightening. They even survive when pushed down stairs. Sad, isn’t it? 🙂

      • Chucktech

        Jesus! You’d think they’re some kind of devil or something…

  • tcinsf

    You mean like all of the USA?

  • Greg B.

    I’d like to suggest a sanctuary planet.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Mercury is nice this time of orbit.

      • Gustav2

        Uranus, because it is all about the buttsecks.

        • McSwagg

          Yeah, but ya gotta look out for the klingons that hang out there on occasion.

  • JT

    American needs sanctuary from people like Gary Bauer.

  • Greg B.

    A refuge for unborn children? How exactly would that work?

    • Gustav2

      It means a place were you have to go out of town to get an abortion, contraception, etc…like we have now in many places.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Maybe the sanctuary inside the duggars women wombs?

    • McSwagg

      They will provide room for a pregnant mother to be until she gives birth. Then the mother and child will be shown the city gates. It’s only right, her being an unwed fornicator and all. (/sarcasm)

  • Michael Rush

    they can call it Duggar City .

    • LonelyLiberal

      “Come and Be Touched!”

      • Sk3ptic

        I prefer my current “be touched and come!”

  • chillwallball

    It’s pretty terrifying actually. Just the blatant delusional hypocrisy of the commenters at “American thinker.” They constantly cry and bitch and moan about how the “PC culture” is fascism and how their religion and freedoms are being stifled and then literally like ONE COMMENT LATER the same people start talking about how they wanna genocide the sodomites and export every atheist to Alaska. One person even proposed a new confederate country where “anyone who voted for the Kenyan will be exiled.” That shit got like 30 likes! What the fuck is wrong with these people? These people are unhinged, deranged and dangerous (another commenter said he has an open carry and is willing to ‘defend himself from libtards,’ very unsettlingly vague and ambiguous) and people like Bauer are forementing their paranoia for that sweet cash. Sickening!

    • Octavio

      Well, that’s why it’s called The American Thinker. They love to wallow in irony.

    • Chucktech

      It’s pretty easy to be a tough guy when you’re safely behind your keyboard in the comfort of your Hoveround.

  • William

    He was great in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

  • RoFaWh

    What if?

    You’d soon see the National Guard, even the Army, arrive to enforce the law. With bayonets mounted.

    Dream on, asshole. If you want that kind of society, why don’t you move to Russia? The Cyrillic alphabet isn’t that hard to master, even for a goober.

  • Steven Alan Taylor

    Hatred and bigotry becoming a social minority is a step in the right direction. One need protect those who would control the aspect’s of others’ lives only as much as one needs preserve the colony of staph growing in your skin.

  • shellback

    This is the land of the free, sweet land of liberty. Love it or leave it. Perhaps Uganda or Russia would be more to your liking. We’ll even help you pack.

    • Stev84

      Get some education. And therapy for your brainwashing.

  • CottonBlimp

    Imagine if some city in red-state America – perhaps Little Rock, Arkansas; Dallas, Texas; or Bowling Green, Kentucky – decided to be a refuge for unborn children

    LOL! As if a city of conservative Christians would take care of unwanted children.

    • bambinoitaliano

      I’m sure the children will serve a purpose in their molesting sweat shop factories.

  • LonelyLiberal

    Actually, this sounds like a good idea. We could call them by a new and novel name to identify the cities…maybe something like “ghettos.”

    Then normal people would know to avoid them and you guys could just do business with each other.

  • Porkie

    “What if a city decided to enforce the biblical concept of slavery?”

    • bambinoitaliano

      We leave them alone. Occasionally fly a drone over to see if they are still alive or if they need more ammos and guns.

  • leastyebejudged

    Wow. Made the mistake of reading the comments over there.

    • Chucktech

      Oooo, big mistake… You know they do shitty translations from Tongues to English…

      • leastyebejudged

        Yeah, I was struck by the profound and flagrant prevalence of mental illness.

        • Chucktech

          Oh, brother, it burns hot over there…

  • penpal

    “A refuge for unborn children”–hahaaaa! Can you imagine a bunch of fetuses climbing out of vaginas everywhere and making a run for Little Rock? Bad news for those fetuses: once you arrive, these whackjobs aren’t going to give a shit about you. You’re on your fucking own because that’s AMERICA.

    • LonelyLiberal

      There will be fields where fetusus can gambol, free from Liberal Influence.

      Once born, of course, military service and the death penalty take over.

    • Arkansan

      Sounds like Duggarville.

  • Stev84

    American “Thinker”. Another one of those Orwellian names.

    • Paula

      Its Doubleplusgood!!

  • Sean

    What if there were sanctuary cities where people could violate any law they didn’t like? Not just limited to Gary Bauer’s narrow vision of having sanctuary from violating the 1st Amendment (10 commandments monuments) the 4th Amendment (refusing abortion) and the 14th Amendment (refusing gay marriage), Christians could follow the Bible and violate the 6th amendment by taking an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? What if Christians could follow the Bible and violate the 13th amendment and re institute slavery?

    • MDB

      Silly Sean.
      Gary Bauer’s, Mat Staver’s and Matt Barber’s sanctuary cities are all white.

      • McSwagg

        Where is it written that poor whites can’t be enslaved? Many so called christian nations had workhouses and prisons for the poor at one time.

  • Ginger Snap

    Did he just say he wants to create his own Christian Ghetto/ Christian Concentration Camp? He said it not me. I’d much prefer for people to live together and get along regardless of their differences.

    • Chucktech

      HA! Great observation, Ginger! As the gay diaspora from our gay ghettos proceeds apace, the christians begin to coalesce into their own!

      LOVE it!

    • IamM

      I’m militantly live and let live. So if he refuses to let others live freely, get militant.

  • Paula

    I’m ok with this. Let’s give them MS, AL. TN, KY and LA. I promise to never set foot in or spend one single dollar of my money in those states.
    They must agree to let any child that is Gay to leave the area.

    • bambinoitaliano

      The important agreement is they never set foot into our territory. I suggest we use the Jurassic World fencing system. The National Guards and the military will serve as the liaison between their world and ours. can handle the drone shipping and handling of supplies.

      • Paula

        Of course!! This sign will mark the borders.

        • bambinoitaliano

          No illegal immigrant will be desperate enough to enter. North Korea would have been a better option by comparison.

    • Craig Howell

      Give those clowns LA–including Nawlins??? No way! Where is Beast Butler when we need him?

      • Paula

        New Orleans: Open City!

  • Todd E.

    aaaaaaaand the far right wing Christian victimhood continues….

  • Secure

    Stick to flipping pancakes, Gary.

    • Chucktech

      That’s clearly not his forte…

  • oikos

    Give them some plot of land in the desert to build their walled city.

    • Chucktech

      Great idea! Sounds biblical, too. Just like the Jews wandering in the desert for forty years. All they need is the manna from heaven.

      OK, where the hell is the manna?? Jeezy? You hearin’ me??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MANNA???

      • oikos

        They’ll need to come out to get supplies. I suggest a marketplace run and owned entirely by the gay community selling goods at whatever the market will bear. 🙂

        • Chucktech

          ANOTHER great idea, oikos! I’ve always said I’d be THRILLED to make christians part with perfectly good, green ‘Murikin money!!

  • Why America? The idea of such a “sanctuary city” flies in the face of our Constitution. Perhaps Bauer could enlarge his view to a worldwide one – I am sure that there are cities in Russia, Uganda, iran. or Saudi Arabia that could qualify. An exodus of Christianists to some foreign land would be as good for America as a “rapture.”

    • bambinoitaliano

      You are wasting your time with a bunch of people who no longer coherent in their thoughts. Think zombies apocalypse realize. Instead of shooting their brains off, we will give them their confined space and let them work out among themselves. We can live our lives relatively free from delusional mobs that are constantly interfering the progression of humanity.

  • AJD

    I actually support this, and I’d give them even more space, preferably somewhere shitty like Mississippi, Kansas or Oklahoma. But only if they secede from the union, forfeit US citizenship and never get to vote in any U.S. election again.

    • Mike Rasor

      They also have to give up their social security and medicare. It would give a huge cash influx for the programs which would secure them for future generations.

      • Chucktech

        Doofy christians mulling this over: “Oh, well, fuck THAT!”

  • hdtex

    If you yearn to live in a theocracy, I hear Iran is lovely this time of year.

    • BudClark

      Except for the toasty temperature (163 degrees in Tehran yesterday).

  • Bill


    The American Christian, living in constant fear of being rounded-up and separated from regular American citizens, has decided to save us all the trouble and round themselves up and separate themselves from regular American citizens.

    This is brilliant!

    • Chucktech

      Christian ghettoization sounds just fine to me…

  • The Christian right is scared of the pro-LGBT left. This pleases me.

  • BobSF_94117

    I don’t recall us getting “sanctuary cities” where we got full civil rights, including federal ones. Anybody else?

  • KnownDonorDad

    It’s getting so you can’t walk for more than several blocks without passing a church these days.

  • Canadian Observer

    As amusing as this would be (and I would insist on CCTV cameras everywhere so we could all enjoy it vicariously), I imagine it would pretty quickly degenerate into a civil war between the sprinklers and the full immersion types.

    • And pacifist me cant find a downside to that.

    • keltic

      Reminds me of the joke that ends “Die Heretic! And I pushed him over”

  • KnownDonorDad

    Oh, go flip some pancakes.

  • Michael Hampton

    Wait, so now, not only do they want the right to discriminate and to deny them that right is persecuting them, but now they want to bring back segregation too? Ha! Your GOP ladies and gentlemen. Trying hard to make it 1949 again.

  • radiofreerome

    This is Gary Bauer, the American Himmler, who was in charge of America’s response to the AIDS crisis during the Reqgan administration. He withheld information of HIV protection murdering untold tens of thousands of people. He should be standing trial in for crimes against humanity.

  • J S

    Let them go to Israel, as close to Jesus as they need to be, and reconcile their odd, Americanized beliefs with the true followers of Jesus.

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!


  • I’ve been saying for ages that far-right evangelicals were going to go Amish eventually and form their own little LGBT-free, diversity-free, secularist-free, freedom-free enclaves where open-carry pro-segregationists get to wallow in scripture all day and pretend history ended in 1900 (before hemlines rose above the ankle in whorish fashion and negroes got all uppity).

    • Gustav2

      It would take buying up a lot of private property, like some survivalists in the West.

  • Where are all these Evangelicals who are being silenced? I don’t know a one who can say three sentences without talking about religion or right wing politics.

  • gaymex

    At least they’d be rounding themselves up and placing themselves in camps, so they couldn’t blame us. I think it’s a great idea…I’d be willing to give them an entire continent so they’d have room to grow and multiply in peace. Christian flags everywhere, streets paved with bibles, no central government help. Just their god to help face life’s challenges. I suggest Antarctica. Twice as big as Australia. They could change the name to Duggerlandia and they could pray and fast and bitch about climate change until the walruses left. They’d be happy; we’d be happy… and in time they’d slip into the cold, cold sea. Noah revisited. From time to time an iceberg would calve and folks in the Falklands could wave as the white christians passed by on their frigid ride toward the equator. A sanctuary befitting their kind. Peace, brothers and sisters.

    • Gustav2

      Now they are begging for FEMA trailers?

    • bambinoitaliano

      A few live cams and we get to learn how human will ultimately extinct. If not we get to watch a new reality series The Purge: This time it’s for real.

  • MartiansAteMyCat

    It was listening to Gary Bauer on James Dobson’s radio show in 2000 that my mother finally realized what her gay son had to contend with in larger society. (It was only a few years later that she became fully supportive of me and an advocate for LGBT people.)

    My mom was a very devout Evangelical Christian, but she also lived through the Second World War when her family home got destroyed in the London Blitz. I remember her calling me up on the phone and saying, “I was listening to Gary Bauer on the radio and he was using the same language to describe people like you as they did to describe Jews in World War II.” I was floored. I had read an article just prior to that phone call where the two sets of propaganda were compared, but had never shared that with my Mom. She came to that realization *on her own*.

    Bauer is a snake, but his extreme language set my mom on a total re-examination of her position. Our relationship grew very close after that. Alas, she passed away in 2012; however, the sanctuary of her memorial service was filled with gay men who knew and loved her.

    • Compare the language used to oppose the Affordable Care Act to the language used to oppose Social Security back in the 1930s. “History doesn’t repeat, but it often rhymes.”

      People opposed to social progress are notoriously unimaginative.

    • gaymex

      Good for your mom. She connected the dots.

    • Trog

      thanks for sharing that story about your mom. I’m praying (not literally) my Christian family have the same epiphany one day. Though they are getting closer, and like your mother, they’re doing so simply by becoming more aware of their church leaders’ hateful rhetoric.

  • Henri205

    Fine. Take Alabama, Texas, Mississippi and the rest of those southern states and secede. Build your theocracy. I actually think it would be amusing to watch a new ‘confederacy’ degenerate into a third world cesspool with non-existent infrastructure, filthy air and water, the rich living behind electric fences and private security, etc. But there would be a Six Flags over Jesus mega-church easily accessible to everyone.

    Only bad thing is that the inevitable pollution would affect the rest of us.

    • Nah, just give them Texas and toss up that wall they keep whining about.

    • Steve Teeter

      Yeah, but there are SOME decent people living in all of those places. Where would they go? (Not “they”; I should saw “we”.)

      • Henri205

        You’re welcome to join the rest of the sane people. I recently escaped from Texas and still bear the scars. Ugh, what a horrible place.

  • Bob Conti

    What if you just kept your big flappin’ pie hole closed and not issue these stupid “what if’s” that are contrary to law?

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    So, in these “sanctuary” cities, I’m assuming that “others” would not be allowed to cross their holy borders. Does the same hold true for the residents? Because if the conservative christians promised to stay right where they were, this is a plan I could get behind.

  • kladinvt

    Maybe we should see if everyone living in Puerto Rico would want to relocate to the mainland and if so, then let’s ship ALL the Fundies over there and leave them.

    • shivadog

      Oh hell no, Puerto Rico is much too nice. The Fundies can’t have Rincon. How about one of the shitty bible belt states?

      • What about Monserrat? It’s already abandoned.

        • shivadog

          Well, maybe if it’s in the exclusion zone. I really like the idea someone brought up below, trading our religious nuts to the Russians in exchange for their LGBT population. Sounds like a win-win situation.

  • rextrek1

    they already made that. it was called PLEASANTILLE

    • rextrek1


  • Parque_Hundido

    This is a great idea, one of the best I’ve seen in a long time.

    They see these places as “sanctuary cities”, we see them as drive-through freak-shows, sort of like a “Lion Country Safari” type of thing except we have fundie “Christians” instead of animals. As long as you keep the windows up and don’t feed them, you should be okay on the occasional visit.

    I wonder if there could be a gift show or some kind of demonstration arena where we could see them in their native outfits, maybe eating jello salad or something like that. That would be interesting.

    Obviously, they won’t be allowed to leave these cities without an escort from the National Guard.

    They’ll feel protected, we’ll feel protected. It’s a win-win.

  • BostonDotTom

    And once again, a Christianist shows that to them, having anything less than total domination of everyone else means they are being oppressed. The closet’s too good for you, jackass.

    • A damp musty windowless basement?

    • Steve Teeter

      Louis XVI felt the same way. And lost his head over it.

  • Baltimatt

    Does that word salad mean anything? What if one parent dies? Does the surviving family get kicked out of the “traditional marriage sanctuary city”?

  • pleasebereasonable

    How about Salt Lake City……..never mind…. Not True Christains

    • No, but their fucked up world view and “special” rules for sex and modesty and sex only with guilt are similar enough for them to meld into one giant ball of hate.

  • LeftyNYC

    I’m fascinated by Bauer’s microscopically limited thinking. He says gays and immigrants “stepped out of the closet[s]. But those places won’t stay empty for long. Christians, if
    liberals have their way, will soon fill them.”

    So, there is a finite amount of space for freedom? Once one group gains liberty, another group must be oppressed to take its place?

    What a fucked-up worldview.

    • zhera

      It is the christianist worldview.
      What’s the point of being Gawd’s people if you can’t force your rules on other folks?

    • Bad Tom

      Their brains can only think zero-sum game.

      • LeftyNYC


  • RaygunsGoZap

    Your Mom is the 5 Buck Cum Dump? 110 loads a week! That can’t be good for her back. You’re a horrible child for forcing her into that.

  • Ninja0980

    Good grief, has anyone whined as much as Conservative Christians?

    • joe ho

      false martyrdom is an integral part of their religious fantasy belief system.

      the ancient romans called them haters of mankind. it’s not hard to see why.

  • CB

    Screamingly ordinary people hoping to become special in some way. They can carp about being victims from the safe confines of their double-wides.

  • Hue-Man

    Theocratic Republic of Wasilla. I hear you can see gay-hating Russians from every front porch.

  • TreGibbs

    I hear Tehran is gorgeous this time of year…

    • BudClark

      Uh, it was 163 degrees F. there yesterday.

      • TreGibbs

        PERFECT ! The Christofacists may think it’s Hell.

        • Stev84

          Hell has liquid sulfur (Revelation 21:8). Which means it is at least 250°F

          • TreGibbs

            That’s mighty toasty !!

          • ExGayTherapyKills

            Life on earth is living hell.

  • Frank Dash

    That closet is not empty. It is being filled daily with the racists, misogynists, homophobes, etc., who find that their own crazy and vile views are increasingly considered unacceptable in polite society. I cannot think of a more appropriate place than a dark dank closet for these really rotten human beings. Maybe they will ferment and transform into something totally wonderful and different.

    • Steve Teeter

      Like caterpillars turning into butterflies?

  • RaygunsGoZap

    What if – once you were all in there:

    We blocked off all access to that city by ground and established a no-fly zone around it?

    What if we kept all power, water and trash collection from originating outside of your sanctuary?

    What if a natural disaster struck and you got no help and no money?

    What if you’re straight marriages were not acknowledged outside your city?

  • popebuck1

    And what if we had our OWN country, where we could own all the slaves we wanted? Let’s try it and see what happens!

  • Chris Larosa

    To compare an LGBT person living in the closet out of fear and public shame to a ‘closeted’ fundamentalist bigot who may no longer be legally free to openly discriminate against the same LGBTs they locked in the closet is criminal. What. An. Ass.

  • Gregory Peterson

    Speak of the devil…I was just reading a book review which mentioned him.

  • That didn’t work out so well in Waco and Ruby Ridge.

  • Queequeg

    Alcatraz may be available, barring that, we could clear out Gitmo for them.

  • TKW

    So, put more simply: gated communities for white Christians only, correct?

  • Jan Wesselius

    Not sayin…. BUT we could get them all together, in on bunch, then release the killer spoors on them.

  • geoffalnutt

    Sanctuary planets!

    • BudClark

      Terra-form MARS for them.

  • Justin

    How ’bout Detroit?

    • Damn, doesn’t Detroit have it bad enough as it is?

  • I vote we give them free rein to do as they will if they agree to peacefully move to a walled city where they wont be allowed to leave. Oh, and all that freedom comes at a price, once within the city’s walls, they lose their right to vote.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Give ’em Centralia, PA.

  • joe ho

    The marginalization of anti-gay Christians will accelerate, despite all their pleas for tolerance of their intolerance and all their attempts to pass bills giving them special rights to discriminate against gays.

    They will soon join their brothers in Christ, the KKK, on the margins of civilized society.

    Christianity is in decline throughout the industrialized west anyway. And the anti-gay strain of Christianity is being regarded as even more morally repugnant than the more tolerant version.

    We’re entering the post-Christian phase of Western civilization. That’s the essential fact that these faith-heads are in serious denial about.

    It’s not going to be pretty for those clinging to an outmoded superstitious worldview.

    • Macbill

      From your mouth to God’s ear, er, I mean, to the Existential Nothingness above….

      • joe ho

        actually the universe is full of amazing material something-ness of which we are all a part.

        it’s too bad that faith-heads are so childish and greedy that they have to cling to an archaic make-believe world of gods and monsters for which there is no credible evidence.

  • JustSayin

    Gary when you buy the land in the dessert ,, build a massive wall around it, gather all you people into it , renounce your US citizenship and lock the gates behind you we will consider it. We will also carpet bomb your city like an ISIS stronghold.

  • Gregory In Seattle

    Sounds like he is describing almost every town and many cities in the United States.

  • billbear1961

    Then, can we have places where YOU can be stripped of your civil rights and segregated from society, forever, where YOU can be denied housing and fired from your jobs for how you live your private lives, harassed and slandered daily by politicians pandering to foul, self-righteous hypocrites with FILTHY hands instructing others on how to WASH?!

    Oh, NO, THAT would be WRONG!

    Fuck off and go to hell.

    There ARE hellholes of fascist depravity for animals and make-believe “Christians” like you: try Uganda or Putin’s Russia.

  • Tom (Winnipeg)

    Utopian ideals never work; eventually gays would arise in any community and demand their rights. So, best to get over your pathetic bigotry and leave gays alone.

  • ScottChicago

    Fine, start the Republic of Gilead. Ever read The Handmaid’s Tale? That’s what these theocrats want.

  • tom dumptee

    hmmm….what if ? ….. ‘what if ?….WHAT IF this dude came out as the self hating closet QUEEN he really is???

  • The Milkman

    There is no such thing as a sanctuary city that is exempt from the rule of American law.

  • Gary, you guys tried something like that under different circumstances in the 1860s. Didn’t work out so good for you then, won’t work out so good for you now.

    I hear Uganda is lovely this time of year. Maybe you and yours should just move.

  • Bauer … rhymes with power bottom.

    • BudClark


      He’s a TWO-bagger.


    • Ben in Oakland

      No. In the context of the story, bauer rhymes with cower.

  • America also needs less religious conservatives that make the U.S. look like it’s filled with science-illiterate Christian Taliban hate-mongers.

    • RoFaWh

      But the US is filled with science-illiterate xtian taliban hate-mongers.

      • Oh, I know… but it is everyone’s job (those of us who are sane) to keep them in a vocal but irrelevant minority… by refuting their ignorance with education… by providing scientific evidence that invalidates their superstitious delusions… and putting the smack down on their attempts to legislate their religious nonsense and turning this country into a Orwellian-type theocracy. Liberty for all… or Liberty for no one.

  • zhera

    Wasn’t it Glenn Beck who had plans from something like this? what happened there?

  • ExGayTherapyKills

    Now I know the Christians are losing their heads over this.

    • joe ho

      anti-gay dogma has been central to christianity for 2000 years (and to judaism for 3000 years). what do you expect?

      the fact that science is showing that their “holy” books were wrong about human sexuality in general and homosexuality in particular really is a real blow to their belief system.

      they’re in the anger and denial stage.

      meanwhile religion continues to erode in the industrialized west and western civilization transitions into its post-Christian phase.

      it’s all good.

  • John

    So, UNBORN babies are going to make their way to a “Christian sanctuary CITY”??

    Boy, these nuts really have no grasp of even the most basic of facts.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Thank you for playing, Really Bad Analogies!

  • Ben in Oakland

    Sanctuary cities for conservatives?

    Maybe some GOOD Christians will be happy to take you in.

  • Jack

    One of the reasons given for our having such a liberal take on freedom of speech is the notion of a marketplace of ideas — that good ideas will drive out bad.

    One way of understanding this is that people will be convinced by the go ideas and that bad ideas will just disappear. Another view is that bad ideas will be subjected to ridicule and people holding them will learn to hold their tongues — or seek refuge in a closet, so to speak.

    I have no problem either way.

  • justmeeeee

    They already have almost two complete states: all of South Carolina and all of Texas except Austin. X-ian terrorists!

  • BaddogLtd
  • Nipper

    I wonder if he means something like the Republic of Gilead?

  • Rick

    So, he’s found a way for his belief system to incorporate the internet, antibiotics, and multiracial America, but not gay folks?

  • JoeNCA

    Last year, Dallas passed “anti-Christian” legal protections for LGBT people in an over 3-to-1 popular vote.

    Move along, little doggie.

  • anne marie in philly

    I recommend some empty land in siberia, russia. plenty of space to breed and h8 there. and the USA would be rid of pukes like them!

  • Robert Conner

    Gary Bauer fairly screams “Eunuch!”

  • Gerry Fisher

    “Well, we preferred sending them off to an island somewhere. Maybe we can turn that around and create little islands for ourselves.”

  • IamM

    Bowling Green is a college town, and smart people are not your friends.

    • IamM

      And any of those actions you propose would get the local government hauled into court for violating fundamental civil rights in ways that the SCOTUS has already ruled are not permitted. Although apparently they’re going to have to reiterate and clarify on abortion clinics and trap laws.

  • I don’t think even Little Rock will go for it. It’s a goodish city, and fairly diverse in race and religion. Not to mention full of politicians.

  • Daniel

    Well, he seems nice. Looks like the kind of man who smiles a lot, too, don’t he.

  • Mark

    Why do these ‘sky is falling’ loud mouths always paint the world as them or us? By their own hand – they admit they can’t get along with anyone else on the whole damned planet – yet it is the rest of the planet that is “wrong”.

    Fuck him. Go get in your ‘closet” – as if he’d know a fucking thing about it.

  • KaBoomBOX

    So, like those towns in Nevada where the polygamist cults live?

  • Galvestonian

    They moved them to Africa …

  • I believe we already have them. Port Au Prince. San Salvador. Juarez. All places where your cross is prominently displayed everyday.

  • jessi

    one can only hope.

  • ExGayTherapyKills

    I suspect the reason people are not going to a Catholic Church is because the parents do not want to bring their children to a Catholic Church, if you know what I mean.

  • Gianni

    Always remember, these holier-than-thou evangelical mouthpieces have to vomit this nonsense regularly in order to bring in the bucks. Their followers suck this up “religiously”, no pun intended. If you don’t keep them scared silly, they won’t keep you in that comfortable lifestyle you’ve come to love so much – not real work, just working God’s will for him. I’d suggest that the first such ‘Christian Sanctuary City’ be established in Antarctica where the cold will help cool their inflamed passions. Perhaps, they’ll even freeze for God!

  • I’m all for it. Round em up and put them in the right-wing ghetto so they get out of our hair.

    • ExGayTherapyKills

      You mean Washington?

  • JCF

    “What if a city … refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples?”

    Because that’s what you just had up until June 2015, and SCOTUS said Eff Dat Shit.

  • Kissmagrits

    America has an excess inventory of colosseums, but frightfully few lions are left who still have the taste for the fresh kill – – –

    Here, Kitty, Kitty!

  • McSwagg

    And now we see the brilliance of the Jade Helm exercise. The military wasn’t sent to overthrow Texas, but rather to provide assistance and an escort to all the True Christains who wished to evacuate to the Sanctuary City. It’s all voluntary. Those tunnels under and connecting the Wal*Marts are for their comfort so they don’t have to travel in the 100+ degree sweltering heat and humidity that is locked in place over Texas for the near future.

  • sword

    Not only sanctuary cities but ‘gated’ communities. I am sure that there are still some Nisei still alive that would be willing to contribute architectural plans.

  • cleos_mom

    Since they’ve so far wimped out on the secession thing, how about a “sanctuary state” or two. One with lots of toxic waste dumps (due to resistance to Gubber Mint interference and the hostility of “God’s People” to environmentalism).

  • goofy_joe

    Maybe it’s because I’ve only had one cup of coffee, but that felt rambling and directionless. It’s silly how Christians can claim they’re being discriminated against when they are still the vast majority in the country.

  • Stubenville

    So special rights for conservative Xtians? I think not.