Louie Gohmert: Put Gays On An Island To Test Nature’s Opinion On Marriage

“We could take four heterosexual couples, married, and put them on an island where they have everything they need to sustain life. Then take four all-male couples and put them on an island with all they need to sustain life, take four couples of women, married, and put them on an island, and let’s come back in 100 to 200 years and see which one nature says is the preferred marriage.” – Rep. Louie Gohmert, speaking to the Eagle Forum.

  • Gays

    Gays: “Put Louie Gohmert on an island to test nature’s opinion on marriage, natural selection, survival of fittest, single-celled organism reproduction, assholes”

  • Brian G

    Wouldn’t the all-male and all-female island just adopt all the unwanted kids from the male-female island? What’s his point?

    • Capritaur

      I’m sure contraceptives are not included with “all they need to sustain life.”

      • motordog

        They could just look at pictures of Gohmert if they wanted to kill the mood. He’s about as sexy as a cyst with teeth.

        • Capritaur

          I don’t even want to think about what the half-siblings from all the couples cheating are gonna do with each other.

          • jomicur

            See under Duggar.

        • D. J.

          Are you sure you aren’t looking at his Texas twin Rafael Cruz Junior? It’s challenging to tell the difference in print….Cyst with teeth vs asshole with teeth…they do look a lot alike.

          • BudClark

            (see above)

    • Sk3ptic

      I love this response.

      • Gene

        of course…using his logic, there IS one GREAT benefit. The world would be RID of Roman CATHOLIC Priests and Nuns!. 🙂 ((notoriously low reproduction rate for some reason )).
        Gohmert is WAY to stupid to even COMPREHEND the concept of Kants Categorical imperative, and how it really is not the case here, as ALL humans are not gonna’ go gay’ and kill off the species. but, when hate and ignorance are all you have going for you, you just run with the ignorance and hate.

        • Bad Tom

          I seriously doubt Gohmert has ever heard of Immanuel Kant.

          • TampaDink

            Sure he has. He knows that Immanuel Kant is an especially crude name for Jewish women.

          • 2karmanot

            OMG good pne!

          • 2karmanot

            “Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made.” I. K. —–end of story

    • JoeNCA

      Certainly would resolve the problems of all the abortion clinics, foster care and orphanages the male-female island would need.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      His point is that he wants everyone to know that he is a bigot.

      • motordog

        Ah…now it all makes sense!

      • Gene

        alas…it plays to the inbreds of his district.
        as it happens, watch the movie “boiler room” about…lets call them less than upright, stockbrokers. In one scene, 4 asshole straight brokers tell 4 gay guys in the restaurant booth next to them “they ought to give your type your own island”. the response. “they did asshole. you’re sitting on it” (Manhattan 😉

        • Steverino

          Notice how he didn’t say that the male and female couples had to be unrelated biologically…

          • GunnaHurt
          • Robincho

            “Dear Jasun Mark: Your statement seems to infer…” Remainder of letter unread because fucking illiterate idiocy.

          • 2karmanot

            “Are you in?” That depends on which hole sings Amazing Grace.

          • 2karmanot

            Exactly so….family values Ozarks style.

        • douglas

          I had a similar thing happen to me in Hawaii many years ago. I was sunning on the gay beach when a man walked by with his young son. The kid was maybe 4 or 5 but he noticed the beach was mostly men. He asked daddy why there were no girls. The father, noticing for the first time that it was the gay part of the beach, said they are faggots son and they shouldn’t be around decent people. “They should put all you perverts on an island” he said loud enough for us to hear. I told him DUH we are on an island so he should just pack up and leave. I also told him Alabama sounded just like what he was looking for. I got a round of applause from my sisters on the beach.

          • Kruhn

            If we’re being extradited to Hawaii, COUNT ME IN! Please leave the beautiful cabana boys and sexy Polynesians to ogle at them!

            I know. I know. I’m a stinker!

          • bsinps

            My home state. Yeah, count me in too

        • 2karmanot

          ’round the world double snap!

    • GayOldLady

      I wonder which island would be engaging in incest? Just read the bible for the answer.

      • D. J.

        Refer that one to the Duggars…. 😉

        • douglas

          We can call their island Duggar island.

      • Friday

        Yeah, as much as they try to blame gay people for their story of ‘Sodom’ they completely ignore the fact the straight girls watched a city get nuked, their Mom transmogrfied into a ‘pillar of salt’ and a day’s walk away were like, “Well, that was messed up, good thing we brought enough wine to get Daddy drunk enough to breed *immediately* for some reason. Better blame the queers for this.”

        Oh, the virtue. Or. Something I guess.

        • Kruhn

          Sodom and Gomorrah is story of not granting s stranger hospitality, not homosexuality.

    • JT

      And there would be a lot, given the Duggarism involved.

    • JIM W

      I’m sure there will be physicians that specialize in fertility. Gay men can donate sperm to lesbians who wish to conceive in-vetro (sp). We’ll probably all do just fine, thank you very much. Plus we can get married and have cakes and flowers, etc, without having to have special religious freedoms involved.

      • David Walker

        Will their gay off-spring be shipped to the gay island? What’s that, Louie?

    • Michael Rush

      can we just put Louie Gohmert on an ice drift and watch it float out to sea , maybe check back in 200 years ?

      • canoebum

        In 200 years, there won’t be any ice, so by then Louie would have long ago sunk beneath the waves.

        • teeveedub

          … only to be spat out by even the hungriest sharks.

          • Kruhn

            That’s be as cruel as killing Cecil. That’s purposely poisoning a shark

    • Strepsi

      Ding ding ding!

      Also, as court after court after court after court after court has pointed out, this whole exercise has nothing — NOTHING — to do with civil marriage law!

    • HadenoughBS

      Yes, my fellow Americans, voters here in Texas sure know how to elect dumb SOB GOPers to both Congress and the Texas state house. For this I apologize profoundly but it clarifies just how stupid is the majority of the GOP base.

    • Friday

      Honestly it just goes to show that his idea of straight people is, “All four of you nuclear families inbreed till your teeth fall out,” and by the time their hunchback snaggletoothed descendants realized something might be amiss, the gay and lesbian islands’ grandkids/nephes and nieces would be living off the royalties in London and Rio about, “How we got put on an island for some reason and it took like a year and a half to get off Gilligan’s Island.”

    • Friday

      Frankly if they put eight lesbians on an island it’d be not about sex, it’d be like, “OK, Anyone who can swim, we’re on salvage and rescue, take anything you find, anything at all. Put it above the tideline. Anyone who can’t, you’re on gathering, water first, or things to catch rain with, fire second, food if you find it. Stuff for shelter, remember where it is. Questions?”

      Gohmert’s straights would of course be, “Now we must compete for breeding rights!”

      • B Snow

        Heh. Spot on about the lesbian island. As someone once said, if the girl scouts had banned lesbian troop leaders the way boy scouts banned gay ones, they would have ceased to exist decades ago.

    • Thom Kulesa

      Yes, and besides, isn’t the whole point of having a civilization that we don’t have to get put back into brutal states for nature, where only certain biological traits determine survival?

      We get to have art, culture, sharing duties and risks, development of ways to protect ourselves, and our children.

      So that not everyone needs to have children. Not all children will be raised by their biological parents. And there is no reason to assume all biological parents would be exclusively heterosexual.

      Oh, and Gohmert is a bonehead.

  • Lakeview Bob

    Is there no end to Stupid?

    • Rocketeer500

      To paraphrase Albert Einstein, the difference between stupid and genius is that genius has its limits.

    • Yup, there is…

      • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

        That brick has definitely not said anywhere near as many stupid things as Louie, so I think the brick has the higher IQ.

      • DaddyRay

        At least a brick has some use

        • Yup! You can stop stupid with it or build a house. That makes double the singel use I have for Gomert – target practice.

    • BudClark

      Oh yeah.

      Louie’s sitting on it.

  • motordog

    Who the fuck said anything about ‘preferred’ marriage? Ugh…same old fucking song. I’m surprised he didn’t drag out the ol’ ‘marrying dogs’ bullshit. Hey, asshole Gohmert, it’s OVER…let it rest and maybe try to fix one or two of the REAL problems this country has!

    • BudClark

      Those babies you insist women have are being abandoned, and they’re starving; Veterans are DYING because they can’t get doctors’ appointments; our infrastructure is crumbling; so are our schools; the homeless are sleeping on the streets, and people like you are laying down spikes to stop them; the disabled … the elderly … healthcare … I could go on and on …

      Do the damn job (buy a clue: JOBS) you were elected to Congress to DO, and SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP ABOUT GAY PEOPLE AND MARRIAGE EQUALITY, you worthless worm of a sumbitch.

      That fight is OVER.

      Live with it, or do away with yourself if you can’t stand the thought of two men or two women LOVING each other, raising children, and forming stable, loving FAMILIES.

      That is all.

      End of rant.

  • bkmn

    If all the women in the couples were over 50 it would be pretty even Screwy Louie.

  • motordog

    I also question why Louie is so viciously against infertile couples getting married. Clearly, he’s against it…since being married is ONLY about birthin’ babies.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Cool…can i pick the four couples?

    George and Martha Washington
    CJ Roberts and wife
    Newt and Callista Gingrich
    Rush Limbaugh and any of his various wives

    Good luck with that baby thingie.

    • motordog

      Oh! I wanna play!
      Maggie Slaggy and her absent husband!
      Crazy Eyes and Ladybird!

      • TampaDink

        Problem with you suggestions is that they represent folks who have (for better of worse) shown the ability to procreate.

        • motordog

          I suppose…but at least they’d be on an island somewhere, cut off from society for at least a century. It’s still a win.

  • Joseph Miceli

    Well, after the straight people overpopulated the first island and resorted to cannibalism, they’d probably all die. Anybody ever hear of what happened on “Easter Island?”

  • AtticusP

    I have a better idea: why don’t we put YOU on a fucking Island, Louie? Far, far away from decent people, you jackass!

  • timncguy

    doesn’t he know that when he comes back years from now, there will once again be gay people on hetero island? Who does he think gives birth to gay people?

    • JR

      Congratulations! You just won the Internets.

    • Sk3ptic


    • BobxT

      Yes – how can gayness be unnatural, given that God keeps creating them …

    • JT

      he no think

    • Friday

      Frankly, he thinks the straight people would just breed as much as possible rather than deal with….being marooned on a freaking *island.* They wouldn’t live long enough *to* breed thinking that way.

      • douglas

        The men would be killed in the first year in either bar fights or in a war. The women would then turn lesbian and swim to the other island.

        • B Snow

          You pretty much called it, except for the lesbianism (well, as far as we know). From the Wikipedia page of Mutiny on the Bounty:

          “Gradually, tensions and rivalries arose over the increasing extent to which the Europeans regarded the Tahitians as their property, in particular the women….matters degenerated into extreme violence, when five of the mutineers…were killed by Tahitians….In-fighting continued thereafter…Two of the four surviving mutineers…secured a tenuous calm, which was disrupted by the drunkenness of McCoy and Quintal after the former distilled an alcoholicbeverage from a local plant.
          Some of the women attempted to leave the island in a makeshift boat….”


  • Giant Monster Gamera

    I’m betting that putting four male and four females on an island would outperform the married couples. That’s what nature thinks of marriage.

  • crewman

    So he thinks evolution would cause us to die out. Yet here we are. Obviously he wouldn’t care that scientists have theories to address this issue. His whole intent is just to demean LGBT people.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      Yes, to demean and be mean.
      But I know what you mean.

    • GayOldLady

      Precisely, we’d still be here, we’d just be on the island where the 4 straight couples started out . No matter what they do, we’ll always be around.

  • ScottJL

    Show me where other species in nature get “married” and you have me believing in “natural marriage.”

  • Bill

    Why don’t we put a Gohmert on an island, so we’ll have1 less?

    • motordog

      …and remember the rules…we can’t check on him for ‘100 to 200’ years.

      • TampaDink

        I’ll set my alarm to remind me to check on him in 200 years.

  • Sam_Handwich

    this has been a common winger “argument” for years in comment sections

    i think Screwie Louie spends too much time at free republic.

    • Yup and its one that is easily refuted by saying “well if we say that homosexuality is wrong because if everyone were gay we wouldn’t reproduce sexually then we must also say that being a male is wrong because if everyone were a male we wouldn’t be able to reproduce sexually.” The stupid “what if everyone were gay” “argument” is not worth serious consideration because it isn’t going to happen anymore then everyone being male or everyone being female.

  • Tim Henard

    If marriage is only about procreation, why aren’t marriages immediately rendered invalid once the couple ceases to procreate? Eh, Louie? Are you and the Mrs. still procreating? If not, why are you still married?

    • motordog

      Eww…now I have a mental image of Louie…’procreating’…I needs me some brain-bleach!

      • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

        He reproduces by spores, like mold.

      • Balderdashing

        In my mental image, why must Rohypnol be involved?

  • Anastasia Beaverhousen

    Oh, Louie, but our islands would be tastefully decorated, everything would be repaired and there would be less divorce and extra-marital affairs.

    • ScottJL

      Until the other island wanted to move in, pay way too much money, and trash the place.

  • pj

    hey louie can you guess which would be the fun island?

  • David Ehrenstein
  • Gustav2

    Let’s take 4 married heterosexual couples who voted for Gohmert and put them on an island and see if they can live without their Social Security and Medicare.

    • motordog

      Pff…they wouldn’t live a week without a nearby quicky-mart, some smokes and a six-pack of beer.

      • Gustav2

        And without Fox News to get their hearts going every few hours.

    • Friday

      Let’s see them breed their way to living through a night, never mind generations. 🙂

  • Bill T.

    Well, Louie, the heterosexual couples will breed enough gay babies to sustain the other two groups for a hundred years or more.

  • timncguy

    can we have a 4th island full of heteros who aren’t married and see what happens since Louie thinks babies won’t happen outside of marriage

  • M Jackson

    Scale back the speech Louis, that’s way too many numbers for your audience to deal with.

  • motordog

    I hear the Duggars are already packing their bags…they say they want their own island…other couples need not apply.

  • Looie Gohmert PileOS does not understand that the human species is not intended to be all straight, or all gay. If Looie understood anything about sexual selection inn nature, and how having non-reproductive members of a species is actually a species-survival trait (and thus does not get evolved out of the genome), he wouldn’t be creating ridiculous examples that expose how stupid he really is.

    • Gustav2

      But you is edumicated past the ‘lementary school.

      Edit: ..past the science class in ‘lementary school in Texas.

      • That doesn’t hold up, Gustav. If you pass “science” class in Texas then you know the Earth is flat, babies come from cabbage patches where they were delivered by a stork, and Jesus himself founded the U.S. of-by-GAWD A. while ropin’ dowgies from the back of his pet velociraptor… oh, yeah, and fracking does NOT cause earthquakes.

        • D. J.

          I recently ran into an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in eons.
          They started talking out of their ass about the earth actually being flat.
          I thought they were kidding.
          They weren’t.
          Some time ago they were in a bad accident. Did their brain get scrambled in it?
          Where is this load of BS coming from?
          Has anyone else encountered this?

          • B Snow

            Sorry to hear that.

          • Kruhn

            I warn you not to Google Flat Earth Society. It’ll give you great hairs very quickly.

        • Ted.OR

          Then you go to “history” class in Texas, where you learn that two of the most important people in US history were John Calvin (!) and Joseph McCarthy. However, Thomas Jefferson was just a minor US president, hardly worth mentioning.

          • Kruhn

            I wonder how the Texas kids deal with The Jefferson Memorial in their Civics trip to Washington… perhaps Texas doesn’t do that thing.

    • D. J.

      If Gohmert PileOS understood anything.

      That would be a historical day, indeed.

    • MDB

      Yew an yerr phanceefull bigg colidge werdz. shux !!!

  • Peter

    If anyone ever tries to put me anywhere because I’m gay…they’re dead.

  • Sk3ptic

    I just can’t suffer an argument about nature from a cretin who knows so little about it.

  • Nell Carter

    Didn’t Louie’s mother raise him (in sin) as a single mother, at least during part of his childhood? Should it matter that Louie’s father died when he was young? Wasn’t his mother just as guilty as any common street whore for not immediately re-marrying, and allowing Louie to grow up without a father? Let’s put Louie and his mother on an island and test nature’s opinion of freak-on-freak incestuous sex. It’s amazing to me how all that sodomy that Louie practiced while in the Corps at TAMU (not to mention the additional heaping helping he got at Baylor Law) soured him on same-sex relationships. I guess Louie is one of those typical x-tianist hypocrites who, when it comes to same-sex relations, thinks “It’s gotta be bad to be good.””

  • Mike Z

    so he misses the part where heteros give birth to gays?

  • Harry Underwood

    Wouldn’t “four heterosexual couples” being left on an island for 200 years result in incest and genetic atrocities?

  • MattM

    Louie Gohmert was his mother’s punishment by nature for not swallowing.

    • TampaDink

      In all fairness, she probably began imagining slaughtering & cooking the little bastard many time before he reached adulthood. So, maybe she reflected on that option of swallowing him long after what would have been an avoidance of this piece of human garbage.

  • JoeNCA

    Wait a minute. Why would you segregate the gay marriage island into two islands? They’re both same sex marriages.

    I mean, then you would be having the men marrying men, the women marrying women, and the men donating sperm and the women surrogating for the men.

    And you’d also need none of the abortion clinics or orphanages they’d need on the “traditional marriage” island, because everyone would only have kids when they were ready to. Not the “oopsy, baby!” problem the heterosexuals have!

    • motordog

      We’re separated because he assumes we’d fashion crude turkey basters out of palm fronds and lobster carapaces, then ‘cheat’ by getting together for the sole purpose of insuring the existence of the next generation via artificial insemination. Clearly, he believes loveless marriages designed solely to create babies is a hetero thing…or maybe a xtian thing…

  • SFBruce

    No surprise that when Gohmert opens his mouth, something staggeringly stupid comes out, but this sets a new low bar, even for him. Apart from the obvious fact that no one has ever suggested that everyone should or ever will become gay, Gohmert neglects to consider the offspring of those 4 heterosexuals couples. At the end of those 200 years, there would be at least a few gay people among them.

    Still, I might go for it, as long as Gohmert is one among the heterosexuals we send.

  • MavynFL

    It’s not a competition, dumb dumb. There is room for us all on the island.

  • Patrick

    If they are going to deed over Manhattan to the gays; heres your 24 beads now begone!

  • Harlan92

    Put Louie Gohmert on an island… Preferably North Sentinel Island in the Andaman Sea, whose inhabitants spear intruders on sight.

  • Because there’s a real problem of not enough people having babies these days. World population has more than doubled in my lifetime. 3% of the population not reproducing is not a problem.

  • JT

    You’ll still have a lot of gay people in the community, Bubba. Don’t you ever read?

  • You’ll end up with a lot of inbreeding and probably a lot of dead infants as a result of it. What a great tribute to marriage! Has this guy never seen the episode of The X Files, “Home”?

    • William

      Peacock Island!

      • I rewatched that episode last week on Netflix and had nightmares again. As a 29 year old adult.

      • KCMC

        roll mama Peacock out from under the bed on her skateboard.
        Truly, thee most alarming, riveting X-File.

        • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

          The X Files episode that proved that rural Pennsylvania is scarier than anything that comes out of a flying saucer.

          • KCMC

            not only PA. So many rural backwaters all over the place.
            Serious real life scare.

          • MDB

            Some of us escaped “rural” Pennsylvania with some damn-good education that we took with us. I never go back, even to visit relatives, unless funeral etiquette demands.

  • GayOldLady

    Please, Goober, er…I mean Gohmert, Civil marriage has nothing to do with procreation. If it did only procreators could get a marriage license. Since we know this isn’t the case you need to stop conflating the ability to procreate with civil marriage. As we’ve seen so aptly demonstrated by the heterosexual population, a wedding isn’t required for pregnancy. Now go on back to picking your nose Goober.

  • Gregory In Seattle

    Because, obviously, elderly couples must not be allowed to get married. Nor should anyone who is surgically or genetically unable to procreate, or anyone who dares to use contraception of any kind. Maybe he would be willing to support a nationwide version of Washington’s 2007 I-957? https://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/initiatives/text/i957.pdf

  • JT

    Let’s put some dumbass gohmerts on an island with some dumbass gohmerettes and see what boundless riches they give to the world after 200 years. Lots of Duggarism, you can be sure, and even more inbreeding than you started with.

  • canoebum

    How do these people survive into adulthood? I don’t get it. How is it possible to be that stupid and not have been run over by a bus or electrocuted in the bathtub by the time you’re 30?

  • RaygunsGoZap

    So how quickly until this Natural Marriage Island devolves into in-breeding?

    Also, you realize your plan calls for children to be born into an experiment that is their prison and then do that to their own children? That’s pretty sick!

  • MikeBx2

    Well, considering the only way there would be any one left on the hetero island would be through incest, you’d end up with an island full of inbred Louie Gohmerts.

    • People4Humanity

      Attention script writers: Here is the plot line for
      a new Texas-based horror flick!

  • D. J.

    Can we put Gohmert on an Island all by himself for fifty years to see if you can take the Texas out of an idiot?

    • I’d suggest that 50 years on an island all by his lonesome would drive him crazy but that bass boat already pulled away from the dock.

  • GayOldLady

    And since when does “nature” have “an opinion” about anything?

    • They use “nature” as a code word for “Gods law” which they use as a code word for “God”

      So when they start talking about “natural marriage” or “the laws of nature” or “natural” they are really just talking about their religious ideology while attempting to sound more secular.

  • MikeBx2

    Of course, what he’s describing here is at least in part what literal bible believers believe. The mad scientist in the sky created a planet; put a heterosexual couple on it and is now sitting back seeing what happens.

    • Bad Tom

      I’m waiting for God the Scientist to put the foul looking petri dish into the autoclave.

      Wait. That’s happening, isn’t it?

  • sherman

    Regardless who survives the Republicon Clownado and becomes the nominee, I pray to the FSM that Louie is their running mate.

    • billbear1961

      Will it be Trump or Bush, Sherman?

      I suspect it will be Bush IF the baggers can be kicked, slapped and twisted into submission by real prospects of winning (and by promises they’ll receive their filthy share of fascist power in a GOP administration).

      Then, if it’s Clinton vs Bush and people consider what things were like under Bill and then W, will they honestly opt for a return to CHAOS?

      What do you think?

      • TampaDink

        Bush has some baggage, not the least of which is named Columba….and who speaks broken English. His party has made no effort to hide their rampant racism.

        • billbear1961

          Rampant everything nasty, not just racism.

          But these fascist scumbags are also absolute opportunists, TD.

          They were persuaded, ever so reluctantly, to support–or put up with–Romney.

          • TampaDink

            Good point, b.b.. They did eventually settle for Rmoney…even though early on the biggest talking point against him within their awful party was his mormonism. Maybe they’ll eventually settle for Jebya & his Mexican wife. (who may or may not be a drug smuggler, rapist or killer)

          • billbear1961

            About the size of it, I suspect, TD!

      • sherman

        I think Trump is a sideshow that will sink. The Koch’s seem to want Walker, the establishment Bush. Rubio and Kasich might be dark horses.

        • billbear1961

          Yes, I’m worried about Walker precisely because of the Koch brothers.

          He’s nothing but a gangster and couldn’t be any more grossly unsuitable.

  • another_steve

    I know exactly what would happen in Gohmert’s scenario.

    The queer couples would have a great time, eating coconuts and seeing the sights and collecting shells and the like, and after a year or so would say to one another, “Hey, shouldn’t we…like…do the opposite-sex nasty? Ya know, for “Continuation of the Species” purposes and all that?”

    And another_steve would say to his man, “Wait here, hon. Be back in 15 minutes.”

    And the species would continue.

    Albeit after a not-so-lovely 15 minute interlude.

  • Mark

    Then send all the fucking infertile couples too asshole.

  • Scoot

    Louie Gohmert looks and behaves exactly like you’d expect someone called “Gohmert” to look and behave.

  • KnownDonorDad

    Ah, the Yahoo-comment-level trope, Straight Island and Gay Island. He forgets that on Straight Island, there will be a certain percentage of gay children born over those 100 to 200 years.

  • Porkie

    Why bother with 4 heterosexual couples – if we start with a pair of first cousins we can come back in 200 hundred years and find Louie Gohmert.

    • Snort!!!!

    • billbear1961


      Now THAT is one sharp, first-rate retort to this imbecile!


      Thank you for making me smile, Porkie!

  • Leo Tallant

    Easter Island was stripped barren by human over-population and THIS nutcase thinks we should put breeders on another island just to strip it barren too????

  • MoNoMo

    I’m not pregnant YET, Gomer…… but I’ll keep trying!

    …. said the gay-hetero-virgin ….

  • Merv99

    I don’t know about nature, but the Bible says that God’s preferred arrangement is for heterosexuals to remain celibate and not pair off at all. How come people like Gohmert never hold up that lifestyle as the preferred one, like the Bible does?

  • Rick

    Hypothetical proposition is absurdly hypothetical.

  • Cosmo Tupper

    Not all of ANY species reproduce – some are unable due to medical reasons, some are unwilling and some are homosexual – animal and human species, alike and even some in the sub-human species like LG. Reproduction is not necessary for love to exist no more than love is necessary to reproduce. I would hate to think what the population would be if every couple made babies.

  • jomicur

    The result on Straight Island would be exactly the same whether the four couples were married or not. It takes someone as dumb as ol’ Louie to think marriage=reproduction.

  • Outlaw Woman

    Actually, something similar went on with the Mutiny on the Bounty descendants on Pitcairn Island in 1790.

    200 years later … things didn’t really turn out all that well.

    Google it.

    • And they got marriage equality a month before we did!

  • People4Humanity

    Louie Gohmert opens his mouth [again!], and the collective IQs
    of Texas, the United States, and the entire planet plummet
    by orders of magnitude.

  • Leo Pola

    I’m obsessing on the visuals. I think the hetero island is like one of the shitholes they show on Survivor and our island is like South Pacific with all the hot as fuck sailors putting on shows with Mitzi Gaynor.

  • Ginger Snap

    The straight island would throw their kids off and they would go to the LGBT islands just like they do now. Unless the straight couples aren’t bigots and all the islands inter mix. He’s such a twat waddle.

  • unsavedheathen

    Gohmert will give the gays the rundown, inner-city island. In twenty years it will be landscaped, lush and the property value will have tripled. Then the hetero Islanders’ kids will sail over with Banana Republics and Starbucks and drive the gays into the sea.

  • Here’s the thing, no one is saying that everyone should
    become homosexual, we are just saying that gay people should have the same rights as heterosexual people. Saying “well if everyone were gay we wouldn’t be able to reproduce sexually, so homosexuality must be wrong” is just like saying “well if everyone were male we wouldn’t be able to reproduce sexually so being male must be wrong. It’s completely absurd, homosexuality no more threatens the ability of humanity to reproduce as a species then the existence of males and females threatens the ability of humanity to reproduce.

  • Toasterlad

    Why don’t we put Louis Gohmert in a rocket, shoot him up to God, and see if God chooses to keep him?

    • Bad Tom

      MISSION CONTROL: The capsule has burned up on reentry.
      EVERYONE ELSE: Good!!!

    • Marides48

      It would be far easier to drop him into a hole.
      A very deep HOLE!

      • Toasterlad

        God doesn’t live in holes! He lives in the sky!

        • Marides48

          I didn’t mention god. If there is a god(s), how do you know he(she) lives in the sky?

  • Matt

    Well, at least we wouldn’t naturally produce a piece of shit douchebag like you!

  • Grafxbear

    I don’t know what he’s talking about – and neither does he. I have several gays friends with children. And I know numerous straight couples that never had kids.

    So use some logic Louie.

  • Everybody sing along with Mommie…

    “Texas – has an asshole in it!
    Lord have mercy on our souls…

    Texas – has an asshole in it!…”

    Very good! Cookies for everybody!

  • delk

    Minimum viable population would require more than 8 people. And what if one has a genetic condition like cystic fibrosis?

    • Steve Teeter

      I read that science thinks that humanity DID reduce to the minimum viable population during its exit from Africa to the Middle East. But the number was more like 1000-1200 rather than 8.

      And we’re all descended from them. Gives one pause, no?

      • delk

        I was quickly reading about the minimum viable population to ‘colonize’ a new planet and for full genetic diversity the number was like 40,000.

  • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

    “Put gays on an island”. They already did this, Louis. They’re called Manhattan and Key West. Not sure about nature. but the real estate markets there are through the roof.

  • KCMC

    wondering if this is ad for Island House resort (ad in margin).
    I would like to be on an island with those 2.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Is he an alien or just plain stupid? How does he think the world exist? Maybe not quite 12 human in exact numbers. Human population did get started in small number. And most work together to survive including some homosexual activities. Everything was never a big deal until some assholes came along making up bullshit sky fairies with bullshit laws that seems so conveniently only apply to human. If he has so much fear in life he should just hide himself in the bunker and wait for jeebus to knock on his door.

  • billbear1961

    Yes, because, of course, what we’re saying is that WE should replace ALL traditional, opposite-sex marriages/couples, and everyone should be GAY from here on out–obviously, that’s what this whole debate has been all about!

    What would happen if we put infertile couples on an island along with couples over 60 and those who just don’t WANT and REFUSE to have kids?

    How bout we stick YOU on an island where we can see if all that useless HOT AIR will keep you alive?


    Go preach sermons to the penguins, asshole.

    (By the way, on the male/female island, at least around 10% of their descendants would be LGBT.)

    • PiperPine

      Okay yeah you had a better response then me. I CLEARLY didn’t understand the subtext and got caught on the inbreeding issues

      • billbear1961

        Hello, Piper!


        • PiperPine

          Hello Bill Bear 🙂 How have you been? Sorry for being so quiet. Real life and so on have been a tad annoying.

          I still have my april fools day icon on here. Whee

          • billbear1961

            All right, but I know what you mean about real life, although we’ve been lucky and can’t complain: anxiety and fear, while trying, aren’t the same thing as an actual problem.

            I hope things are picking up for you!

            Your presence here suggests maybe they are!

          • PiperPine

            I’d argue anxiety and fear can be really big problems depending on the circumstance and I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with that. Boo!

            They’ll get better. I’d like to get a bit more focus for my creative projects but such is life.

            Honestly I’m a lot more active on FurAffinity and Twitter this side of the web doesn’t always get my attention.

          • billbear1961

            Ah, that’s where you’ve been!

          • PiperPine

            Its my internet haunt ^.^ Though my twitter feed has been mainly about my ridiculous ideas for anthologies. That and I’m getting ready for Rocky Mountain Fur Con (RMFC) in Denver that will be fun but likely calmer after the sheer wave of activity that was Anthrocon

            [yadda yadda yadda hope I’m not boring you]

          • billbear1961

            No, I’m glad you’re having some fun!


          • PiperPine

            Blah sorry looking back on it that comment was a little… dumb. I’m going to delete it. Sorry for being creepy.

          • billbear1961

            I don’t see what was creepy.


          • PiperPine

            Ah my bad. I think I let my own social anxiety gt the best of me… whee!

          • PiperPine

            Fairly certain the thread is now super quiet so you can find my twitter at ZiaMcCorgi555 where I nadder on and on about random things

          • billbear1961

            I’m not on twitter, my dear!

          • PiperPine

            CURSES! I was going to be a bother on your twitter feed ^.^ back to the drawing board!

    • They don’t often say it but an underlying assumption of theirs seems to be that if homosexuality is accepted the percentage of the population that is gay will rise and eventually becomes a majority of the population,
      perhaps to the point of heterosexuality going away completely. It’s quite a strange belief, they seems to have quite a low view of heterosexuality if they think that everyone would switch to being gay if given the chance.

      • billbear1961

        This is a fear of theirs that they rarely express out loud, but it’s there all the same, yes; that if discrimination stops, our numbers will EXPLODE.

        It seems like an admission that many of them are tempted by the idea of a same-sex experience (or that they think their friends and relatives are), and it badly frightens them. It threatens their identity. (Of course, many have HAD at least one experience, and they seem to feel the desperate need to prove it meant nothing by carrying on about how unnatural such a thing is. They really need to convince themselves of that. And we haven’t even touched on the subject of the self-hating closet cases!)

        What it would be like to have sex with another man is in the top 5 sex fantasies for straight men, I believe.

        • I always wonder how long they expect it to take for this explosion in the gay population to happen? Of course they would never provide a firm timeline because they don’t want to set themselves up to be proven wrong but still how long do they think it will take because if their theory was correct some places should already be well on their way to this explosion in the numbers of gay people.

          I would point out that some increase in the number of people who identify as gay is to be expected and I would not be surprised to see those numbers go up some in the years ahead so it would need to be a very significant jump before the other side could claim that acceptance of gay people was causing a higher percentage of the population to become gay and of course there is no mechanism that would cause this anyway.

  • LovesIrony

    Eat shit you ugly homophobic bigot.

    • BaddogLtd

      Concise and too the point. Luv it ; )

  • Achilles Tsakiridis

    I have the Best Idea … Just do what GOD did .. Put ONE heterosexual couple on an island …

  • TexPlant

    better yet just put you on an island with a few hungry lions

    • gaymex

      or even on an island with no cameras, no microphones…and one very sharp knife.

  • PiperPine

    I realize this is overly pedantic but… does the congressman not understand the concept of inbreeding and genetic flaws from small populations? His proposed Straight Couple Island would either have to have serious genetic issues or more likely would be dead. Also a hundred years is a flipping long time!

    • The experiment has already been done. The hetero island was called Salt Lake City. And yes, there is an abnormally large amount of genetically-related disease among the descendants of Mr Smith and Mr Young.

      • PiperPine

        True much of the American West has founders disease genetic issues but in all those cases outside populations usually came in at some point. In the cases of more insular communities they died off. See the George Rapp Society which demanded total insularity and within 3 generations had died off.

      • NowAnAgnostic

        Some Amish communities are experiencing this problem also. Source must have been a PBS Special.

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          Hutterites also.

  • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

    Naked And Afraid – The Louie Gohmert episode!

    (I wish I could photoshop his face in here)

  • Gerry Fisher

    Isn’t this an argument about how nature hates segregation?

  • Marides48

    Let’s put four 65 year old heterosexual couples………..

    What a moron!!!

  • vorpal

    I can think of three other all-male couples with who I wouldn’t mind being placed on a paradise tropical island. We will reproduce or die trying our very best!

    • zhera

      Ceiling Cat works in mysterious ways, right?

  • By the time his 100 year period is over he will be dead and in no position to gloat over the result of his experiment.

  • brian

    In 100 to 200 years you’d have 24 long dead people. Regardless of their sexuality.

  • geoffalnutt

    Fire Louie into space. Just because.

  • gaymex

    200 years of inbreeding…sounds like Texas.

  • PeterC

    The gay couples would be raising the kids of the non-gay couples who have split up. So it would end up just like in the USA today.
    Guess that is why your “god” created gay people in the first place.

  • zhera

    Four straight couples? I see inbreeding i their future. Give it a 100-200 years and the people on that island won’t be able to breed anymore due to corrupt genes.

  • Gio
  • Galvestonian

    ooooh… I think it’s time that someone took Louie about 20 miles off-shore and made him walk back in cement ‘scuffies’. ASSHOLE !!!

  • Marides48

    Bad news for Louie. Those straight couples will produce gay children.

    • In reality yes but remember they have deluded themselves into believing that gay people could only possibly comes from gay people if gay couples could sexually reproduce or else they are “recruited into the lifestyle” where on earth the first gay people came from under this theory seems to be a mystery but they never reflect on their own theory so they never try to answer it.

      • motordog

        No mystery at all…the first gay person came from Satan, of course!

  • kanehau

    Eventually everyone will be hanging out on the gay couples island… so I really don’t see a problem here.

  • Regan DuCasse

    Doesn’t this dickwit know that the EARTH itself, is an ISLAND?

  • koolaidyarn

    We could also put the entire Duggar clan on an island and watch Josh get every female knocked up. That doesn’t mean that god prefers their chosen lifestyle.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    In any of these scenarios, you’d likely get nothing after 200 years. Four straight couples don’t have enough genetic diversity to thrive even if they didn’t practice monogamy.

    However, if all the lesbians were pregnant and got together with the gay men, they’d have a much better shot as there would be more genetic diversity to start with.

    But, this is a stupid proposal anyway. There are more than 7 billion people on the planet as it stands now and his bigotry is still disgusting.

  • Sporkfighter

    My grandmother married at sixty. Which island does she go to?

    • LonelyLiberal

      One where the Geritol plant grows abundantly.

    • Frommer_Gast

      The Abraham & Sarah island. (Tell her to watch out when her husband takes their son “for a walk” and she is missing a kitchen – knive!)

  • Steverino

    Pay no attention to the infertile or imprisoned couples who are allowed to get married.

    • Basically… the entire argument re procreation is just an
      excuse not to let gay people get married, if it really was an argument of central importance to them they would seek to use it beyond just denying marriage to gay couples.

      • Steverino

        Isn’t it always this way with their blinkered and hypocritical propaganda? Fortunately, with rare exceptions, this nonsense doesn’t pass muster in a court of law. Too bad it has traction with the boobeoisie who vote. It’s the Achilles’ heel of democracy.

  • JCF

    My money’s on the 8 dykes figuring out a way off the island! 😉

  • Think the LGBTQ community would have a fabulous island 🙂

  • TampaZeke

    I keep having to check my calendar to convince myself that it’s actually 2015.

    • Ben in Oakland

      He’s the one that needs convincing.

  • anne marie in philly

    hey louie, suppose the 4 str8 couples decide NOT to procreate? your theory would then be invalid, assclown! NEXT!

  • Someone clearly needs to alert the National Zoo. Turtles, Apes, and Pigs are running free in congress.

  • Steve

    I have a better idea: Let’s put Louie Gohmert on a island and come back in 100 to 200 years…

    • Ben in Oakland

      I can see it now….

      Lost: The Hillbilly Era.

  • BudClark

    Do the same thing with four elderly or infertile couples.

    Proves nothing.

    Put Louie Gohmert on an island and nuke it till it glows. That’s what the Reich wants to do to US.

    • McSwagg

      Save the nukes. Just put him on Bikini Island in the South Pacific. It’s been pre-nuked multiple times.

  • Dale

    How about we put all fundies in Texas, Alabama and Louisiana with a border. After one generation of replacing a proper education with the BuyBull we can all watch in glee as their breed dies out attempting to spear-chuck for food.

  • crankyd

    This clown is clearly confusing natural biological reproduction with a legal contract.
    Maybe we should put Louie on an island where he has nothing he needs to sustain life.
    That’s it.

    • He wouldn’t need anything other than a Bible, anyway.

  • sword

    Let’s put 4 redneck couples on an island…in 100 years all of the guys would be ‘married’ to their sisters!

  • AT2016

    Let us put Louie Gohmert on an island with 100 women and come back in 100 years. There would be nothing left because none of them would have had sex with him.

  • Bill Harnsberger

    What if a huge meteorite destroys both islands in, say, 99 years?

  • Jim

    We could put Louis Gohmert into an empty room and the average IQ would still be zero.

  • Mark

    Finding anybody who would fuck Gohmert will derail his big plan. No one wants to spend their live with just an asshole that is certain to only get bigger with time.

  • BudClark

    Will somebody with the photoshop skills please take that pic of Cruz with an asshole for a mouth and do the same with this pic of Goober? It would be PERFECT!

    • BaddogLtd

      Here ya go, Big Daddy ; )

    • Steven Leahy

      LOL – but it’s too clean!

      • and isn’t gaping enough. It should look more like the Chunnel – that almost never closes either.

  • Friday

    Until now I’ve never meant it quite so *literally* when I called someone a ‘fuckwit.’ This man is literally using fuck for wits. 🙂

    I mean, why is this guy in high party *office* if he really thinks either straight people or gay people would be like, “Well, we’re stuck on an island, all we have to do is try really hard to overpopulate the fucker.” 🙂

  • Mark

    Surely there will have to be a DownLow Midnight Express service.

  • TerryInIowa

    So, Louie, do you believe the results would be different if the gay couples were not married, because otherwise, you’re not really discussing the effects of marriage.

    • Friday

      He’s not even discussing the effects of being on an *island,* never mind assuming even straight people would be foremost concerned with inbreeding as monogamously yet profilgately as possible with only four *breeding* pairs. 🙂

  • Ben in Oakland

    Louie, if you put eight straight men on an island and came back in 100 years, the result would be the same. But that’s because you need mixed sexes for breeding.

    But not really for anything else.

    But if you put eight straight men on an island and came back in 5 years, two of them would be hooked up because no one is that straight. Two of them would be dead, killed by the other four beciase straight boys do love their violence. Two of them would have gone to opposit ends of the island. And two of them would rape the nearest female, if you brought one with you, just to emphasize No homo.

  • BaddogLtd
    • Balderdashing

      There is one: it’s called the lottery.

  • Balderdashing

    Gohmert, you ignorant nob-end: what you’d discover is that, on the mixed island, in a few generations you’d have the same proportion of LGBT people as now—and a slew of genetic freaks because of the necessary inbreeding. If I were alive then, I’d set up a business exporting banjos to the island.

    Anyway, it takes only a single thought to see through Gohmert’s thought experiment.

  • Steven Leahy

    We would love our own island. And since you will continue to breed more of us as you always have, they can immigrate to our island and it will flourish forever!

  • SockMikey

    We would welcome ALL the occupants of the USS Minnow if they were to beach on our island!

    We wouldn’t forbid the professor to step foot on our sand because he was a scientist that believed in evolution or that the earth was older than a few thousand years.

    We’d understand that Mary Ann was a Winfield, Kansas farm girl, a reference to Dorothy Gale as played by Judy Garland in the 1939 classic movie The Wizard of Oz (occasionally wearing Dorothy’s ubiquitous pigtails and a gingham dress).

    The Skipper and Gilligan would be welcomed with open arms.

    Heck, If Bert & Ernie were on board, we’d invite them to party down with us!

  • Canadian Observer

    Louie… do you really have such a vested interest in promoting incest. DUGGAR DUGGAR DUGGAR

  • TreGibbs

    Is he completely retarded? By this asshole’s own logic, lets take one man and 15 women, lock them away for 200 years and guess what??? Nature prefers polygamy marriage, cause there will be 8000 inbreds running around with crossed and missing teeth.

    The people of Kansas should be mortified.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Think about your last sentence in light of the paragraph above it. ;-/

  • lukefromcanada

    basically his arguement is implying that if gays cannot get married they will be sooo desperate to get married that they will marry people of the opposite sex, procreate and such.

  • Blake Jordan

    Of course his hypothetical involves lesbians and gays on different islands…
    He knows that just because lesbians and gays do not have recreational or romantic sex with the opposite gender, does not mean we are incapable of doing what is necessary to reproduce.

    Do they really believe that once equal rights has been established for lesbians and gays, all straight people are going to change their sexual orientations and everyone will stop reproducing?

  • Geezus Christ

    My guess is that plenty of offspring from the heterosexual couples’ island will eventually swim over to their respective same-sex marrieds’ islands, thereby ensuring the survival of straights, gays, and lesbians for all eternity. Didn’t this moron even consider such an obvious outcome?

    • gaymex

      The lesbians would build a bridge, the gays would plant beautiful gardens and the straights would say “fuck Gohmert” and join us and we would all live happily together–as it should be.

  • KQCA

    Wouldn’t it make more sense to begin punishing Christian theocrats who give birth to us?

  • TallBearNC

    All islands would die die out as even 4 same straight ppl lack enough genetic diversity to create a society. I think u need 50-100 minimum. So in order for Adam and Eve to have started humanity they’d have to have been genetically PERFICIT. Otherwise with 4 people, genetic disorders would kill the island off in 100-200 yrs. so this guys experiment has no meaning. Plus it’s based on reproduction. Should we deny para/quad plegiacs marriage? The elderly?, the sterile? Those who don’t want kids? The human race was procreating long before marriage. Marriage probably slowed it down due to managamous rules. But now we have 7B ppl on earth. Overcrowded. Heck gay ppl help curb overpopulation lol. What about families who crank out 20 kids? That’s insane. That’s illegal in some countries.

    • gaymex

      Good points, but…perficit…so early in the morning to recall Latin. lol

  • PhillyProfessor

    And since neurons cannot reproduce, Gohmert must think that brains are evil and unnatural. Oh, wait……

  • Richard

    I am just amazed that gohmert could even get a job let alone be elected by rational people

  • txscotty39

    Another Texas idiot on the loose again. The scary part is the fact that people voted him into office. They are probably even scarier……if that is possible.

  • travelingmanrick

    Has he never heard of New York Ciy?

  • Robert Adams

    George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, James Monroe, Samuel Adams….Wow!

    Louie Gohmert…?? Huh!!??

  • What happens when he goes to the straight island and finds out those straight people made a bunch of gays? That’s nature too, pooky.

  • trouble94114

    But wait, I thought we had already voted Gohmert OFF the island

  • kiltedyak

    I’ll go to the island, as long as Louie shuts his pie hole or I never have to hear him or his ilk speak again

  • PattyJM

    If anyone should be isolated on an island Gohmert should be one of the first to go.

    And it should be a low-lying pacific island. So many Rs deny climate change lets see how they adapt to sea level rise.

  • amati1684

    This is stupid, as only Texas can do it.

  • zoli

    100% idiot.

  • Gianni

    Oh Louie, go and eat some cake or pie or just something sweet. You need to sweeten that crankiness with something. My personal favorite IS cake with ample frosting. This douche is from Texas, not surprising. His election also says a lot about the thinking capacity of a majority of Texas voters. We used to have Rick Santorum as a Senator and when he started shooting his mouth off, promptly got rid of him in the next election. Wake up, Texas, this creep is a real embarrassment.