LOUISIANA: Married Gay Man Denied Communion At His Mother’s Funeral

Via the New Orleans Advocate:

Tim Ardillo said he was standing next to his mother’s coffin leading his young son to receive a blessing when the priest presiding over the funeral Mass denied him communion. The longtime Catholic said the priest told him it was because he married outside the church, but Ardillo doesn’t think that’s the whole story. He believes he was denied the sacrament because, as is stated in his mother’s obituary, he is married to a man. The priest in question, the Rev. Mark Beard [PHOTO], of St. Helena Catholic Church in Amite, did not return multiple calls seeking comment in the week following the July 10 funeral. Ardillo said the church passed out a quotation from 1 Corinthians at Mass the next Sunday, which states, in a portion highlighted in red ink, “Whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks in judgment of himself.”

Ardillo says he has gotten an apology from the Diocese of Baton Rouge and from the Archbishop of New Orleans. (Tipped by JMG reader Ken)

  • Pollos Hermanos

    That priest’s face is just screaming for jazz hands.

    • Paula

      I’d like to give him hands to the face. But, I am thinking in a different manner.

    • bkmn

      Five bucks says he is on the Archbishop Nienstedt plan – hit the gay bars whenever he goes out of town.

  • BoringLawyer

    My hope is that each and every story like this that a young person reads will further convince them that religion is hateful and pointless. Go ahead and hate all you want, Rev. Beard. You are turning away young worshipers with each hateful act.

    • Sk3ptic

      Simple solution: give up religion like we’ve already given up Kris Kringle. Here’s a nice thought from someone called Thomas Jefferson:

      The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.

    • I think that’s what’s been happening. Catholics are losing several members for every new one (including infant baptisms and we all know a lot of those kids are never seen in church again until it’s time to get married). It’s not just how they treat gay people. That’s just one aspect of a huge problem of being assholes, criminals and bigots.

  • itsjoe618

    These kind of stories piss me off, but when it’s about the RC church, can anyone seriously expect anything to turn out differently? That said, this unholy hypocrite probably wanted to humiliate and embarrass this guy during the funeral, so he really is a hateful clown.

    • Judas Peckerwood

      I’m betting that he’s a closet case as well.

      • Al

        He’s a dead ringer for Rex Reed.

  • Drake

    The priest is a total closet case acting out his self-loathing homophobia. .

  • barracks9

    (Yeah, Joe used an article I sent him!)

    How does a priest know the “sin status” of every person in line at every service? Is it some ecclesiastical form of gaydar? Seriously, what kind of dick move, if you’ll pardon the expression, father, is it to refuse communion to the son of the deceased?

    One more reason among many why I don’t understand why gays and lesbians still cling to the old rugged cross that beats them.

    • bkmn

      Especially the RCC with all its baggage. Why would anyone want to hang out with those bunch of hypocrites?

    • clarknt67

      I don’t really distinguish between gay Republicans and gay Catholics. Just a matter of if you prefer a spiritual or a secular kick in the teeth.

      • Octavio

        Yup. It’s an entire uniquely amusing form of self abuse. 🙂

        • Sk3ptic

          I really do enjoy a nice self abuse experience.

          • Steve Teeter

            So do I. But not this kind.

      • JT

        The public assholery of the priest has prompted an apology from the bishop and diocese. I hope Ardillo tells them exactly where to go.

        http://theadvocate.com/news/12939016-171/married-gay-man-describes-denial

    • BobSF_94117

      If I were a gay, married Catholic attending a mass officiated by someone who knew I was gay and married to a man, I’d sort of half expect to be denied Communion.

      • I rather doubt that in the lead-up to attending his mom’s funeral he even though about that. And worse, what a douchy thing to do at that moment. Of course this is the same church that shuttled child rapists around the country and continues to shield them from prosecution and lawsuits so it’s not like there’s a shred of decency or ethics among that crowd.

        • Christopher

          This morning we just watched an older Frontline episode. I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate the Catholic Church more than I already do, but I was wrong.

          http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/secrets-of-the-vatican/

          • About 2/3 of the way through the movie Philomena (starring the always fabulous Judi Dench) there’s a revelation (like the rest of it wasn’t bad enough) that made me want to punch someone in the face. That wasn’t the worst of the church’s crimes but it’s pretty bad and a symptom of an overall problem. As far as I’m concerned the RCC is a criminal organization and the entire hierarchy should have been prosecuted under RICO statutes. That wasn’t going to happen because they are a religion, but as I always ask, can you even imagine a secular organization getting away with something that horrible on such a large scale? No. And not only did they get away with it, they continue to get away with it. I have no more respect for someone who tells me they are Catholic than I do for someone who tells me they are Scientologist or any other dangerous, abusive cult. And no not all religion is that bad.

          • Bj Lincoln

            I was not big on catholics when I started one of my majors in world history. When I found out the Egyptians knew about anistics, dental work and even partials, I asked why we were biting bullets for pain and pulling teeth with no novocaine? It seemed to me as if we had started all over again. That is when I found out in the Middle Ages when the RCC was in power, EVERYTHING was destroyed! Medicine was all but outlawed because if you had a bad tooth, it was because you did something bad or had a demon. They left a HUGE hole in math, science and medicine because the church erased history! We did start over because the knowledge was not there!

          • Steve Teeter

            It’s not very fashionable, but you have to thank the Muslims for preserving much of that knowledge and returning it to Europe, once Europe was ready.

          • Peter Wde

            That’s correct, it was the muslim world that preserved the achievements of the classical Greek period, philosophy etc when it was lost to Europe.

          • Veylon

            And now we have to preserve their wisdom for them until they finally get their own hotheads under control.

          • Peter Wde

            There were several branches to the muslim world, one of which preserved, discussed and critiqued the major works of classical greece and was very much open to free enquiry and learning. Unfortunately that branch was overwhelmed by the more dogmatic branches that were actively hostile to the above.

          • McSwagg

            The Islamic world not only preserved Greek achievements, they built on them. It is from the Muslims that we get Algebra and Chemistry (through Alchemy). The evidence is preserved in the “al” prefix of the name.

          • Peter Wde

            Avicenna!

          • During the middle ages the center of learning and the arts for the west was Constantinople (Istanbul). It’s only when those scholars fled to the west after that region was taken over by Muslims that we begin to see advancement and then we can have the Renaissance.

          • Peter Wde

            …and the University of Paris, a hotbed of academic activity when Cambridge and Oxford University were just small community colleges.

          • Hal Watts

            Thanks for sharing the link. As a former Catholic who spent so much of my time, energy, and money trying to remain in that Church, this video made my blood boil….

          • Joseph Miceli

            Thanks for the link. Just watched it. I’ve never wanted to kill anyone more than that priest who raped an 8 year old girl. As to the rest…the Vatican is morally and ethically bankrupt. The world would be better off without it.

          • Prixator

            Imagine liquidating the wealth of the RCC and Vatican and distributing it to make some attempt to alleviate all of the suffering and damage that they have caused!

      • Goodboy

        As I’m sure people on say their 3rd marriage would be too…

    • AmericanPaPISSED

      I’m sure when this man was denied communion he took his humiliation quietly and went back to the pew without anyone even noticing. Why didn’t he have the self respect to call this priest out on this bigotry WHEN IT HAPPENED?

      • barracks9

        The article says he stormed out of the church, only to be asked (not by the clergy, mind you) to return and be the leader the family needed at that moment.

        • The shit we do for family. And I do it too only mine is Baptist, not Catholic. Ugh.

        • AmericanPaPISSED

          You don’t “lead” by being a pushover.

    • Hal Watts

      Everyone who has buried a close relative or friend knows how emotionally gruelling the wake/funeral can be, not to mention the exhaustion from having spent previous days at the bedside of the ailing person. You would think that the funeral would provide a measure of peace, dignity, and healing. Leave it up the Christianists to heap humiliation and cold-heartedness on to the LGBT bereaved.

      • David Walker

        The funerals that I REALLY hate are the ones in which the preacher/priest hardly says anything at all about the decedent. It’s another pep talk for being sure you’re “saved.” They’ve never found a way to get around their profundities sounding like “Insert Decedent’s Name Here.”

      • JT

        Christianist assholery knows no bounds.

      • Gerry Fisher

        In general, I agree with you. All I’ll add is that this guy had the power to side step any potential grief by not taking communion. He’s a former altar boy (as am I); we know the drill.

    • David Walker

      Congrats. And I agree with not understanding why some of us stick to the old-time religion. On the other hand, this was his mother’s funeral. Hubs is catholic and we went through both his parents’ funerals. I’m not catholic, so I saw no reason to participate in that part. He was not denied, although in one case the priest was an uncle and in the other the priest was a friend of the family. I find what this priest to be offensive and disgusting. One’s mother’s funeral is hard enough to get through. To be denied the sacrament at the coffin, without previous warning, is just fucking heartless. “Judge not” etc. So may you burn in hell, fahda. May you burn in hell.

      • What’s the point of being a bigot if you can’t do it in the meanest most humiliating way possible. If he wasn’t going to do offer him communion and knew it beforehand (which seems obvious since he knew who he was…I doubt he researches the marital status of everyone who shows up for weddings and funerals) he could have pulled him aside before the service and explained the policy and blah blah blah. It’s still bullshit but at least it wouldn’t have been in front of everyone. What a douchebag.

        Anyone who goes to this parish and didn’t walk out is just as bad as the priest.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Very good point! The NALT’s are complicit if they can’t make a moral stand.

      • barracks9

        I’d be mighty tempted to snipe at the priest, and hiss “Don’t make me make my mother haunt you!!”

    • Bob M

      A friend of mine recently attended his wife’s brother in law’s funeral. Now my friend is a “former” catholic priest (and a rather liberal one at that) The officiating priest gave stern warning that anyone not having recently been to confession and not catholic was not welcome @ communion. My friend, if he had known that would be said would have instructed those “not approved” how to come forward and do what good catholics are supposed to do, how to hold their hands, how to cross themselves and do everything “right”. He does not have a very high opinion of this priest.

      • Peter Wde

        I have no religious beliefs whatsoever but had a very close friend from a large very close-knit Roman Catholic family who committed suicide, basically because they could not/would not control the pain of a medical condition that had him in excruciating pain. I went to his funeral and spoke some words at the service but the first words out the priests mouth at the start of his sermon were “suicide is a very selfish act”. I wondered at the time what his parents and five brothers were thinking.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      Remember Tip O’Neill and “all politics is local”?
      I’m guessing that for some LGBT folks, their church or parish is that particular “local”. In other words, they don’t view their personal church as being part of “Big Bad” from Rome or the bishop or whomever is “in charge” of their “area”. And for some, maybe they find a community or family in their church that they don’t have in other areas of their life. IIRC, at least in the US, most
      RCC church goers don’t agree with the edicts from Rome on a whole bunch of issues – including SSM.

    • LarryChemEngr

      The quotation from Corinthians clearly indicates that it is for the congregant to decide if they are in a state of grace to receive Holy Communion. It is not for Father Fuckhead to decide.

    • Joseph Miceli

      Yay!!!!!! You got posted!!!!
      Oh, and that priest has gay face.

  • CottonBlimp

    These are the stories I always think of when the religious accuse queers or atheists of being mean or hateful. Can anyone here even imagine pulling this kind of shit at a fucking *funeral*?

    • jomicur

      Easily. I speak as a proud ex-Catholic.

      • Octavio

        Espero que mejore pronto. 🙂

    • Exactly. I’ve had family members who HATED each other who bit their tongues to get through a funeral. Some of us have more respect than to use such a moment to score a cheap point.

      Anyone have dirt on this guy? This is exactly the kind of person who deserves to be outed.

    • Gerry Fisher

      Yes. Anyone who grew up in the church (I did) should not be the slightest bit surprised at this. SOP

      The priests who do look the other way and give out communion? Those are the outliers, IMO. At least in terms of the official teachings of the church. The rules don’t give you a pass just because your parent died.

  • Greg B.

    The man then stepped aside so the priest could proceed to give communion to unmarried straight people who have sex, straight people with kids born out of wedlock, divorcees, and people who hadn’t been to church in three years.

  • MarkOH

    When my partners nephew committed suicide (PTSD after serving in Iran) we went to the Catholic funeral. They were clear that unless you were a Catholic, you were not welcome to take communion. They would give you a blessing, however. If that is how they run their religion, fine. It was insulting and disrespectful but, like being in someone else’s home, you abide by their rules. Just sad when they are so insistent about it a funeral. I think it’s less the gay thing and just more about the heartlessness of the Catholic church

    • Gustav2

      That is strange. Did they check affiliation? Is this something new? We Lutherans can share the Table with RC’s.

      And no, even though we love us some Spock, we don’t believe in Transporters. We are more Dr McCoy.

      • wineflask

        No, you can’t. Some Catholic priests do it undercover. I’ve known one who got moved from a university to a retirement home *exactly* because of that.

        • Gustav2

          Well, we did it out in the open in the 1980’s and the 1990’s

          • Octavio

            Yeah, but they still made Oldsmobiles in the ’80s, too. (I have no idea what that means.)

      • Tor

        LC-MS has closed communion. From their catechism: “He that eateth and drinketh unworthily eateth and drinketh unto his damnation.” They don’t even share communion with ELCA… Possibly with the Wisconsin Synod – you know, the fundamentalist crazies.

        • Gustav2

          I should have said ELCA.

          • Tor

            I know what you meant, but not everyone does. I don’t miss that church at all.

          • MDB

            Misery Synod and Wisconsin Synod !*?!# Yikes !!!!

      • Octavio

        “It’s Jesus! He’s dead, Jim.”

        • motordog

          “I’m a doctor, damn it…not a messiah!”

          • Bad Tom

            If only the Priests were as sensible.

          • Chris Dangerfield

            HA!

    • LonelyLiberal

      At my mother’s church, communion is offered to “All who wish to join us.”

      Of course, they’re not a Catholic church and the level of hate is very low, so there’s that.

      • MDB

        In the Episcopal tradition, you are welcomed to receive communion (the caveat is always mentioned that it is for those who have been baptized) and receive only a blessing – if that is YOUR wish. BUT, No one checks ID’s at the
        altar either; even the little ones can receive communion, and I have yet to ever see anyone be publicly refused the sacraments. That is the spirit of “all” being welcomed, not just the folks we like, or approve of, or agree with.

    • Macbill

      Except they REALLY BELIEVE that the wafer and the wine transubstantiates (becomes the real) into the body and blood of Christ.

      • Octavio

        And therein lies the crux of the mental illness. Booga booga.

      • disQusTed

        I always wonder why no one has gotten a sample of Jesus’ DNA yet. You’d think that would be worth examining…

        • Peter Wde

          Especially that mitochondrial DNA…

          • disQusTed

            Methinks Jesus and the Pillsbury Dough Boy on a bender have a lot in common.

      • Peter Wde

        Yep, it just looks the same.

    • clay

      I’m surprised they’ve started allowing funerals for suicides.

    • popebuck1

      They had a mass for a suicide? Someone should have informed them, that’s a big no-no right there. I certainly hope they didn’t allow him to be buried in consecrated ground after all that.

      • MarkOH

        I guess they made an exception because he was a Marine. But, it’s possible his mother didn’t let them know how he died.

        • popebuck1

          Ah, I was assuming they knew and didn’t care – it’s not a restriction they enforce much these days. But my point is, there was a time when that fact would ABSOLUTELY have prevented him from getting a “Christian burial.” And if they can evolve on that article of faith, they should certainly be able to evolve on this one.

          • MarkOH

            Agree

      • Peter Wde

        Nope, they have an out. I had a very close friend that committed suicide who had been raised RC. I asked a priest about this and was told no one who commits suicide has control of their rational faculties and therefore is not morally culpable.

  • AtticusP

    Very sad, but separation of church and state and all that jazz.

    As a recovering former member of the RCC myself, I sympathize, while wondering how any LGBT person can continue to subscribe to that religion.

    Chacun a son gout.

  • Cuberly

    Dick.

    • Duh-David

      And also with you.

  • TommyTune

    “Married outside the church?” That is such total bullshit and that priest knows it. People who marry “outside the church” routinely receive communion. Living in heavily Catholic South Louisiana, I personally know several people for whom that applies. That priest is a liar. What would Jesus do? Not this, that’s for sure.

    • barracks9

      Being a liar is the least of his sins, I suspect.

      • Elaygee

        I’m sure he’ll make it onto the Church’s “Hide & Protect” list on day when he’s racked up enough touchy feely time with the parish children.

    • clay

      What would Jesus do? How could they possibly know Jesus’ attitude to serving wine?

      • Steve Teeter

        Easy. John 2:1-11. Jesus was at a wedding in Cana and they ran out of wine. So Jesus turned water into wine, so everybody could get as drunk as they’re supposed to at weddings.

        This is considered Jesus’s first miracle. It essentially was a beer run.

    • MDB

      My best friend’s mother was excommunicated after certain clergy in Chicago discovered she had married outside the church (WWII – times were hard/life then was crazy) But, her 9 little good Catlick’ kids who were raised Catllick, attended RC Parochial schools were somehow good enough to never be excommunicated. She still attended Mass every single week.

  • BearEyes

    reprehensible on many levels.

  • MikeinATL

    It amazes me that anyone would expect anything different from the Catholic Church. How can a gay person step one foot in a Catholic Church?

    • TommyTune

      If it’s your mother’s funeral and she wanted to be buried in her church what else are you supposed to do? Not attend? Please!

      • MDB

        Exactly, TT. Honor your mother and your father means exactly that. We should love our parents enough (hopefully) to respect their wishes and honor their traditions and beliefs.

      • Toasterlad

        You can attend the service without taking communion. I’ve been to dozens of Catholic weddings and funerals over the last 30 years, and haven’t taken communion at any of them.

        • TommyTune

          MikeinATL mentioned stepping foot inside a church. I was responding to that.

    • For his mom’s funeral? Yes. If he’s a regular attendee then I’d agree that he shouldn’t have expected better from those kidfucking hypocrites.

  • “Whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will blahdeeblah goobly gobbly spooky christer cannibal crazy talk.”

    FUCKING INSANITY!

  • BudClark

    “Faithful” Roman Catholics should return their offering envelopes and WALK whenever this happens ANYWHERE in the “Church.”

    What part of “Come unto Me, ALL ye that labour and are heavy-laden” do they not understand?

    Somebody should shove a LARGE paschal candle up this bigoted priest’s ass, incense nails and all!

    • Gustav2

      I have never seen that done. But it has been before the previous, but still living, bishop of Rome since I have attended a RC funeral.

      • MDB

        I QUIT playing for a RC parish BECAUSE they refused me communion after the uber-Orthodox in the parish learned I was a (gasp) “pagan Episcopalian.” < they only knew that because I told them, and previous to that knowledge I never encountered any resistance to receiving communion. Their loss.

        • Gustav2

          Hell, even we Lutherans think you are pagans! LOL The sharing of the apostolic continuum is evil.

        • The statement is clear. No one but Catholics are true Christians. Money quote: “Closed communion does not lead to division; division leads to closed communion.”

          http://www.catholicbasictraining.com/apologetics/coursetexts/2c.htm

          • JT

            Isn’t that what virtually all the conservative sects think–my way or the highway? It’s certainly what the fundies think. They don’t even want to call RCers christians.

        • JT

          Maybe you should ask if you could become an altar boy.

      • clay

        You’ve never seen which– the denial of communion, the walking away, or the large paschal candle?

        • Gustav2

          What you want done with the paschal candle.

    • jomicur

      What makes you think that hasn’t already been done–regularly?

    • clay

      To a significant extent, the RCC dioceses had a sharp decrease in funding about 10 years ago, at the same time that Catholic Charities saw an almost equal increase in funding. Even those faithful Catholics decided to redirect their tithes within the church to that extent that they could.

    • Robincho

      With apologies to Blaise Pascal, that’d definitely be one helluva paschal blaze!…

      • Hal Watts

        Funny! I needed that!

  • Justin

    At his mother’s funeral, no less. What. An. Asshole. Even if you don’t believe in that falderal, the intent was clear: “I don’t like you, I’m judging you, and I’m going to make it a scene.”

    • Gustav2

      In Jesus name…

    • John P.

      I might have made a scene myself. My mother had the traditional Catholic funeral, but I did not partake in communion. Still, the priest is an asshole to do this at his mother’s funeral.

    • Tor

      The church is ultimately on the losing end. At my partner’s mother’s RC funeral, only two of her seven children and one grandchild took communion. The rest of them can barely disguise their disdain for the church.

    • clay

      Entirely typical of them. I’ve seen a priest ban non-Catholics from being (entirely non-sacramental) pall-bearers!

      • Bob M

        I’m a florist, remember delivering a wedding once and the priest was getting a bit nasty when two of the ushers who had not been able to attend the rehearsal could not get the hang of genuflecting (suspect they were not catholic) and he got rather cross with them. The nasty scene part was that the priest had only unlocked the doors 15 minutes before the ceremony and people were trying to be seated, I was trying to put the flowers in place and this guy was just being an ass.

        • KQCA

          Yup, par for the course. I provide music funerals on occasion. The asshole-edness is abundant among the priests. They can’t understand that their public image is dramatically changed and they are the least in the kingdom now.

    • Gerry Fisher

      The institution is Assholic, with a capital A. The priest was an asshole. The guy who was refused was guilty of Minor League Assholic-ness for not gracefully avoiding the whole thing by not going up for communion (it really should have been about honoring his mother, not getting his needs met). The whole thing’s just ugly.

  • JaniceInToronto

    This is a wonderful thing. That priest outed himself as the mean, vicious bastard that he is. Bigoted morons don’t seem to realize that every time they act out badly, they’re calling attention to themselves as the assholes they are.

    • Tor

      Along with the institution they represent.

  • Sam_Handwich

    No cannibalism for you!

  • Stuart Wyman-Cahall

    It’s as it should be. If your church doesn’t love you just find another!

    • Toasterlad

      Or, better yet, do something more productive with your time and money.

  • ben

    I’m sorry, but it’s his right. Priests are not required to give communion to anyone who wants it.

    • jomicur

      What do you mean, “I’m sorry”? You don’t sound like you’re sorry at all. And what on earth makes you think the priest’s “right” is what’s at issue here? Just because he has a “right” to throw a blatant insult into another human being’s face doesn’t make it in any way acceptable behavior.

      • Peter Wde

        The priest, from my understanding of Catholic teaching, was acting in accordance with orthodox doctrine.

        • jomicur

          He was just following orders. I believe that excuse for abominable behavior passed its expiration date some decades ago.

          • Peter Wde

            Not saying I approve of his actions, but I thought Catholic teaching requires refusal of the sacraments under certain circumstances as part of their religious beliefs so I can understand the priest’s actions from a theological perspective. They’re just not consistent, Senator Pelosi is staunchly pro-choice and a catholic but she has never, and is unlikely to ever be, denied communion.

          • TommyTune

            From the article in the link:

            “Being married outside the church should not be used to deny someone the Eucharist, said the Rev. Roger Keeler, executive coordinator of the Canon Law Society of America.

            As a practical matter, Keeler noted that a priest or Eucharistic minister can’t possibly know the marital standing of everybody in line. He also raised more philosophical concerns.

            “This is not a weapon. Communion is not a reward for good behavior,” he said. “It’s the food for weary souls.”

          • Peter Wde

            Thanks for the update, would the same argument apply to same-sex couples which the church regards as “intrinsically disordered”?

          • TommyTune

            You seem to be coming at this from an Orthodox perspective. I’ll use the Socratic method and ask you a question in answer to your question:

            Should elected officials who advocated for the Iraq war, which two popes considered unjust according to Catholic teaching, be allowed to receive communion, and why were they not similarly refused communion when that issue was being debated in Congress? And why didn’t orthodox bishops like Cardinal Burke speak out at the time about denying Republican politicians communion who voted for the Iraq war the way they have so vocally done so concerning other issues dear to their hearts?

          • Peter Wde

            Basically my feeling is this, and its been my experience debating with catholics who are literate with respect to catholic teaching. The Roman Catholic Church has had 2000-plus years to come up responses to criticisms over its theology, so every time you think you have a gotcha reply they have a response…even though I think its a weasely one.

          • TommyTune

            So you’re not a troll after all. That’s good. You just sounded like one for a minute there.

          • Peter Wde

            Not today anyway!

          • BudClark

            Hugs to you, Peter. I like your mind. We can agree to disagree civilly.

          • Peter Wde

            You too!

            I hope you’re feeling better today.

          • BudClark

            Thanks! My choices these days are stoned, or in pain. Right now, “my fucked-up-ed-ness is as the fucked-up-ed-ness of ten, because my drugz are pure!” (snicker)

          • Toasterlad

            No one is saying the priest couldn’t have been a cool guy and let the gay guy eat the cracker.

            We’re saying that doing so would technically violate church law. Your argument that they do it for all kinds of other offenses is amusing. If there’s one skill Catholics excel at, it’s picking and choosing which parts of church law they must follow.

          • BudClark

            In Mozart’s time, the Prince-Archbishop of Salzburg had a window cut from his bedroom into the Sanctuary, so he and his live-in mistress could “hear” Mass without having to get dressed, and then get back to fucking with a minimum of time lost / wasted.

          • Toasterlad

            That’s a serious commitment to pissing on the dogma of your faith!

          • BudClark

            No problem.

            Conservative Catholics are anti pregnancy termination and pro death penalty & wars.

            They see no inconsistency whatsoever.

          • BudClark

            Hell, they consider wanking to be “a seriously disordered act,” the increased risk of prostate cancer if you DON’T notwithstanding. Two or three Cardinal-Archbishops of Chicago in a row have died of prostate cancer … god’s “reward” for celibacy, I suppose.

          • Octavio

            Well, if it’s food they had better up the protein content in those wafers and add some electrolytes to the communion wine.

          • Peter Wde

            Plus alcohol.

          • MDB

            We use a very hearty port for communion and buy it by the case < for the Cathedral. Pretty tasty, as well.

          • Peter Wde

            No single malts?

          • MDB

            That’s for Tuesdays- “Pints with the Padre” … in many Episcopal parishes around the US. Also Mugs with the Madre – is usually coffee and light breakfast fair with the female clergy on early weekday mornings. Both are times for fellowship and discussion, and just spending quality time together as “family” – outside of the church property.

          • Peter Wde

            Sounds like fun!

          • MDB

            I’m trying to figure out what an appropriate and fun terminology could be used by lesbian/clergy ? Out on the Town? Sinners and Saints ?.Fabulous Fridays ? …open to suggestions….

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Probiotics too.

          • BudClark

            The nuns who make the wafers sell the interstices as fish food.

          • Octavio

            Is Tetra Min made by nuns? I did not know that! 🙂

          • jomicur

            As a former Catholic seminarian, I can tell you that Catholic orthodoxy requires that the sacraments be denied to anyone who denies any bit of Catholic “doctrine.” Which is to say that communion should technically be denied to anyone who doubts that the “Virgin” Mary was impregnated through her right ear. (And yes, that is Catholic doctrine, as pronounced by an “infallible” council in the Middle Ages.)

            As other commenters have mentioned, priests routinely give communion to divorced people, people “living in sin,” and people violating “Catholic doctrine” in all sorts of other ways. This was a deliberate, calculated, completely gratuitous insult thrown into the face of a grieving gay man. It was a swinish act by any decent standard.

          • Peter Wde

            I agree they’re inconsistent and hypocritical on this issue . The reason they will never deny senator Pelosi communion is they’re scared of the consequences and ramifications of such an action. They tried doing it during an election a while back with a catholic running for office who was espousing positions anathema to the church…the outcome?…it helped elect the politician and the church got nothing but grief from everybody.

          • Her right ear? Goodness gracious, what a strange place to mislay a vagina.

          • Peter Wde

            Lends a whole new meaning to the expression “she got an earful”.

          • Peter Wde

            If it’s okay to ask, why did you leave the seminary?

          • Toasterlad

            It absolutely was. Which is why it’s so astounding that the man set himself up for it by getting in the communion line.

            As you yourself said, the priest has Catholic law on his side. The fact that he was choosing to exercise it when many other priests would have let it slide is completely irrelevant. CATHOLIC DOCTRINE HOLDS THAT HOMOSEXUAL SEX IS SINFUL BEHAVIOR. They hold that the way we physically express love is immoral. Anyone who knows that and still wants anything to do with the Catholic church deserves what they get.

          • jomicur

            Well, it’s not completely irrelevant, except in a very narrow, legalistic way. In the broader context of simple decency, it couldn’t be any more relevant.

            But I agree with you 100% that any gay person who sets himself up by expecting “Holy Mother Church” to behave with even a shred of common decency is asking for what he gets.

          • BudClark

            Holy aural semen, Batman!

          • BudClark

            BUT … there have been numerous calls for her excommunication, and anyone else who IN ANY WAY indicates approval of abortion, family planning, and GLBTQAI civil rights.

            Holy Communion should NEVER be used as a weapon of political coercion. Of course, it has been, countless times throughout history. The Pope excommunicated Queen Elizabeth the First to try and bring the British Church to heel. When that failed, he sent the Spanish Armada. When THAT failed, he pretty much gave up, except for The Jesuit Martyrs of England.

            Killing someone for believing a different flavour of Christianity is incomprehensible to me, but there you have it.

          • Peter Wde

            I sometimes listen to the Catholic radio station EWTN, regularly there are callers who are demanding to know why Senator Pelosi has not been ex-communicated and declared anathema etc. I love listening to the weasley responses.

  • Macbill

    Didn’t the Lard say, “judge not, lest you be judged”? The Lard got some judging to do on you. Hope you got fire-proof underwear, ’cause I gots the feelin’ you’re not sorry at all.

    • Toasterlad

      The “Lard” is the one who tells them they can’t serve crackers to homos.

  • MBear

    dude – I’ll send you a whole loaf and there’s no creepy ritualized cannibalism thing necessary.

    to the priest: you’re a fucking douchebag dickhead horrible excuse for a human to fuck with people when they’re mourning. If there were a helll, there would be a special place in it for the filth that you are, but in the meantime, I hope anyone with a conscience or the slightest sense of empathy for anyone grieving will make the rest of your fetid, useless waste of oxygen you call a life a tragic pit of misery.

    • Sam_Handwich
      • MDB

        Gives a whole new perspective to: “Bite Me !”

        • Octavio

          Can they use Wheat Thins when they’re out of communion wafers?

          • MDB

            We have a supply of gluten-free wafers for those who need them. have allergies, etc. Our clergy knows the members who have these allergies etc, and each bulletin is printed to tell guests that should they have special needs, an usher is told before the liturgy begins, etc. I think Wheat Thins would have to use kosher salt ??? 😉

          • SilasMarner

            Make mine a Ritz cracker please. Oh, and a chunk of cheddar on it too please. 🙂

          • gaymex

            All this talk of cheese and crackers puts me in the mood for a gin and tonic.

  • JT

    This priest needs a refresher course in Canon Law. In addition to its being unconscionably heartless at such a time, he should not have done this since the man has not been excommunicated or placed under interdict. The priest is supposed to defer to the communicant presenting for communion. The communicant is not supposed to take communion if he is not in a “state of grace.” But that is not to be decided in this instance by the priest. Even if it were argued that homosexual acts are sinful according to the Catholic church, the priest has no way of knowing that the communicant has committed such acts recently, or if so, has not obtained forgiveness for any sin before communion. As for same sex marriage, since it’s not supposed to be a “real” marriage according to the Catholic church, how can it be sinful on its own?

    • Phil

      Yes, and I believe only a bishop can issue an interdict.

    • RoFaWh

      From your account, we can conclude that this priest was just grandstanding.

    • Toasterlad

      If the priest had reason to believe the man was not celibate – which he did, because he knew that he was married – he was well within his rights (in fact, he was compelled by church law) to refuse him.

      The only thing the priest did wrong from a Catholic perspective was to euphemize the reason by saying it was for “marriage outside the church”, when what he actually should have said, had he been honest, was, “You’re a buttfucking homo, and buttfucking is only allowed between priests and altar boys in the Catholic church. Be gone, sinner!”

      • JT

        Sorry, but as I said, the priest had no way of knowing that any sex that may have occurred was not divinely forgiven or that the same sex marriage was not entered into for legal reasons, just as some opposite sex marriages are. If he had wanted to do things that way, he should have asked the man. But of course he didn’t have the balls to do it.

        • Toasterlad

          You’re being ridiculous. The man was married. To a man. Was the priest to assume that every time the man and his husband fucked, he went to confession and begged forgiveness? Was the priest to assume that although they were married, they didn’t have sex at all? Was the priest to assume any number of ridiculous assumptions that would have let him in good conscience violate Catholic law, which he was clearly not disposed to doing?

          The priest is an asshole. The gay man was 100% in the wrong. Those facts aren’t mutually exclusive. Any gay person who attempts to participate in any Catholic ritual deserves ever bit of scorn and humiliation that comes their way.

          THEY HATE US. They haven’t made it a secret. Have some self respect, and don’t try to horn in on their voodoo rituals.

          • JT

            Thanks for the kind remarks. As as I said, all the priest had to do is ask. He didn’t have to assume, and shouldn’t have assumed anything. The priest’s “good conscience” should have directed him to ask, if had had a good conscience, or the courage.

            Thanks also for making the assumption that I have no self respect, or that I would want to be a part of a cult or am unaware of how despicable these particular religionists are.

          • Toasterlad

            You’re again missing the point. The priest was under no obligation to ask the man anything. The priest knew the man was married to a man. That was all he NEEDED to know. The man was in the wrong for being in the line in the first place, and both the priest and the man knew it.

            You keep wanting to make the priest the bad guy. The priest IS a bad guy. He COULD have given the guy communion without saying anything. The fact he chose to withhold was a dickish move, but it was also in perfect accordance with Catholic law. The GAY MAN WAS IN THE WRONG. He should not have been in line to receive communion, and he rightfully paid the price for his stupdity.

            I didn’t mean that you, personally, have no self-respect. I was referring to gay people who still want to participate in Catholic rituals. If that description fits you, so be it. If it doesn’t, good for you.

          • JT

            Once again, thanks for assuming what you do not know. The only one missing nuance here seems to be you.

            The priest is a bad guy for more than one reason. He should have asked and not assumed. If he did and was told what he assumed was true, then he would have done what he should have. For not doing that, he is to blame. For making that a matter for this kind of treatment, the church is.

            And yeah, right, I believe you didn’t mean it personally. Your “if it fits you” says it all.

          • Steve Teeter

            As I recall, the fact that the guy was married to a man was mentioned in his mother’s obituary. It was public knowledge. The priest wasn’t assuming anything.

          • JT

            You need to read the entire exchange. Then you’ll know what he’s assuming.

          • Toasterlad

            Hey, If you want to be offended, be offended. Knock yourself out. I’m giving you credit by assuming you’re not an idiot, but actually willfully twisting your perspective in order to make the gay guy an innocent victim.

            For the last time: it is illegal, under Catholic law, for a man to marry a man. It is immoral, under Catholic law, for a man to have sex with another man. The priest knew that the man was married to a man. The priest rightfully assumed that the men were fucking, because THAT’S COMMONLY WHAT MARRIED PEOPLE DO. Even if the men were not fucking, they were married, which is all the priest needed to deny them communion. He didn’t NEED to ask any questions. He knew everything he needed to know to enforce Catholic law, which is what he did. Had he served the man communion, he would have been BREAKING Catholic law.

            Now. You can remain butthurt because the priest did his job and hurt the feelings of the gay man who expected to be treated like a human being by the Catholic church. You can remain butthurt at me because I refuse to entertain your patently idiotic scenario of how the priest should have dealt with the openly gay married man. Or you can go do something productive with your life, like encourage gay people to stop expecting humane treatment from an anti-gay hate group.

            As for me, I’m out. Enjoy your martyrdom. I hope that wooden cross you’ve got yourself on isn’t too itchy.

          • JT

            Thanks for confirming what I thought. You just don’t get it intellectually and you have a penchant for resorting to outlandish ad hominem points and personal assumptions to try to score points. Good tactic. I hope it serves you well elsewhere. Go do something productive with my life? Get a grip, bud. You’re not that important. Self-important perhaps. That’s all.

            You might benefit from reading this, or maybe not.

            http://theadvocate.com/news/12939016-171/married-gay-man-describes-denial

    • Exactly. A splendid example of what John Jewel meant when he spoke of treen priests with golden chalices.

  • another_steve

    Boyfriend Joe likes to post the RCC horror stories, but there are many beautiful stories out there, stories that need to be heard.

    My husband went to a Jesuit high school in New Jersey. A very prestigious school. The Christian Brothers Academy (CBA), for anyone reading here who might know.

    Because my man is a Catholic queer activist, I’ve attended many CBA functions with him.

    We’ve been treated with respect and dignity, 100 percent of the time. The Brothers there are kind, loving people. They’ve sought us out to ask us questions and learn more about our experiences. They’ve communicated our experiences “up the line,” so as to further church understanding of the LGBT experience. They are our friends.

    (Note: I am not Catholic. I’m not even a theist. I stop just short of “heathen,” since I like to think I possess just the slightest bit of civility. 😉

    • Gustav2

      A heathen would have been more kind to Tim Ardillo.

    • wineflask

      Jesuits are the worst of them. They seem so nice, so reasonable. And yet they’re relentless and heartless like all the rest of them. Case in point: the current Pope is a Jesuit, and under his direction the Church in Italy is attacking not only the project of civil union but even anti-bullying initiatives in school.

      • another_steve

        I think one has to keep in mind, wineflask, how entrenched the fear of queer people is in orthodox traditional Catholicism — how many centuries of ignorance reside there. With this, one should appreciate the slow unfolding of enlightenment there.

        And slow it is. If you look at the daily headlines, you will not see it. But it is occurring.

        The Jesuits — including this Pope — are at the historical forefront of theological understanding of social issues in the Catholic Church.

        Again, it’s a slow — painfully slow — process.

        But nevertheless ever-unfolding.

        • TommyTune

          In this digital age things move ever more quickly. The churches may have moved more slowly than molasses in January in the past, but if they hope to stanch the bleeding of lost parishioners they’d damn well better pick up the pace of change if they hope to have anyone left in the pews. That’s all I’m saying.

        • Toasterlad

          They have had over two thousand years to change. We have given them enough time.

          Rational people know that beating your head against a stone wall is not a good way to break it down.

          • another_steve

            We’re in a different age now, Toasterlad. An Age of Information. Information available to us in our underwear — at 3:00 a.m. in the morning.

            Information shall set us free.

            All of us.

          • Toasterlad

            Yes. Free from religion. That is the goal.

    • I do not understand how your husband can still be a Catholic after the church has made it’s stance clear. It boggles the mind.

      • another_steve

        A reasonable question, Bob. One that all devout Catholics (reminder: I am not one) have to deal with.

        Perhaps it goes to the heart of what it means “to have faith.” If one has never had faith of one sort or another, then the question is either abstract or meaningless.

        As a non-theist, I have faith. I have faith in the goodness and inherent wisdom of whatever it is that keeps my geraniums blooming and my heart beating.

        That “faith” is enough for me.

        I need not seek further for explanations.

    • Toasterlad

      Your man is doing exactly what the bigots and haters have been telling America we’re trying to do: force priests and other religious officials to violate the laws of their faith.

      A Catholic church is not a florist. They are not a public accommodation that must treat everyone equally. They are a religious cult with a federally guaranteed right to discriminate against whomever they choose. Trying to force them to voluntarily change their ways is an anathema to every legal battle we have fought for decades.

      The only moral way to force the church to change is to leave it. Once they have lost enough revenue due to their discriminatory practices, they will change. Or, better yet, they will die, and the world will finally be rid of one of the most consistently, relentlessly evil organizations in all of human history.

      • another_steve

        Well I don’t agree with what you say there, Toasterlad — but you generally don’t descend into ad hominem attack and for that I respect you and consider you an honorable debate partner.

        Religious institutions are composed of flesh and blood frail and imperfect human beings — just like you and I. There is always the opportunity for becoming more understanding and more useful, species-wise.

        Step back, Toasterlad, far back, and observe the progress — gradual as it has been. But ever so steady.

        And as the Gautama Buddah advises: fear not.

        • Toasterlad

          I no longer fear the Catholic church: they have no personal hold on me, and their influence in society is on the wane, despite the efforts of their new pr guy, the Pope.

          There has been NO progress, no REAL progress, since Vatican II, and even that was largely ceremonial. Catholic dogma has not changed, particularly as regards gay people. Despite what Pope Smiles says, it is still a sin for homosexuals to have sex, it is still forbidden for them to marry, and gay people adopting children is “the work of Satan”, in Pope Smile’s words.

          Religious institutions are composed of greedy human beings who use the public’s fear and ignorance about gay people to make money. It is not only futile to want them to change, it is counter-productive. The best possible thing for not only gay people, but for ALL people, is for religion to die a quick death.

    • Peter Wde

      The Jesuits at La Fleche inadvertantly helped David Hume develop his arguments that culminated in his devastating attack on natural design arguments.

      • another_steve

        I am far far from a religionist, I assure you, but I adhere to the the general notion of “natural design.”

        There is purpose and design in nature. It is not random. It is purposeful.

        How and why this is the case is unknown to me.

        I could fabricate all manner of explanation, supernatural or otherwise, but I choose not to.

        • Peter Wde

          Then you should read Hume’s “Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion”, one of the greatest philosophical works, if not the greatest, in the english language. Hume systematically attacks the design arguments of natural theology from all sides till there’s nothing left standing. It was too radioactive to publish in Hume’s lifetime, Hume was revising it right up till his death in 1776 (he wished the american revolutionaries his best wishes). A nephew oversaw the book’s publication posthumously (no author was listed though most everyone knew it was Hume) several years later. It’s a work of philosophical genius.

          • another_steve

            The “Great Divide,” if you will, has always been the question of whether there is “Design” or not. I am not a religionist, far from it, but I recognize and proclaim, in my own way, The Design.

            You’ve been a fair and honest debate partner in this, Peter — for which I thank you.

          • Peter Wde

            You too Steve. Personally I think there’s only the appearance of design, although you will now find even self-admitted atheist philosophers who would disagree ..

          • BudClark

            I’ve taken to putting some of the spectacular Hubble photos on my desktop.

            I’m just as confused as I ever was.

            Who or What could have created all THAT, and made it move in more perfect synchronicity than the finest watch?

          • another_steve

            Such a beautiful comment/observation, yours, BudClark.

            People who know me have told me that I’m gifted with the power of discernment, when it comes to people.

            I knew from the get-go, after reading some of your comments on this blog, that you are special. 😉

            Who or what, indeed.

            Who or what, indeed. My brother.

  • Ed Burrow

    Totally shitty, totally fucked up. But that religion can do whatever it wants. I don’t agree with it, but whatever. But it clearly illustrates why people are leaving religions in droves.

  • LovesIrony

    I would have stuck a finger down my throat and puked in the holy water

    • gaymex

      I like your style.

      • LovesIrony

        Thanks

  • HZ81

    So this Priest really thought God or his son J-dawg wouldn’t have said “You know what, just give the communion today of all days and don’t be a dick.”

    • RoFaWh

      That priest is clearly unfamilar with the bibblical admonitions “judge not, lest ye be judged” and “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

      • HZ81

        or “get thee off thy dick. I am at a family funeral, asshole.”

    • Toasterlad

      Not if he was a good priest.

      Communion is a sacrament, and if you’re not a Catholic, you’re not eligible to receive it. Unless this man was celibate, he was, by Catholic law, ineligible to receive communion.

      • HZ81

        There’s a good priest?

        I kid and get your point, but…

      • How did the priest know he was not celibate? Or that he had not prepared himself for communion by going to confession?

        And if the priest’s excuse was that he had married outside the Church — did he mean that he had married a Protestant, or that he’d got married at the Town Hall? — that does not constitute automatic excommunication, nor does his being gay. And it is only to people who have been formally excommunicated that a priest may refuse the Sacraments.

        • Toasterlad

          The priest knew that he was married to a man. Men cannot be married to men in the Catholic faith. This is not at all hard to understand.

          Jesus Christ, people. Priests aren’t legally obliged to give you communion. You have NO recourse if a church refuses you service. They are free to be as shitty to you as they wish, and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. More importantly, though: WHY DO YOU CARE?

          Of all the colossal wastes of time one can engage in, being angry at the Catholic church for not giving crackers to homos has got to rank as one of the top five, and is certainly one of the most infantile.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    I’m thinking that a funeral isn’t the time or the place to make statements of this sort. If Beard wanted to make an issue of who can and cannot indulge in symbolic cannibalism perhaps he can do so when people are not mourning their loved ones. It shows such a lack of empathy that it is breathtaking.

    • Reality.Bites

      If you believe in communion you can’t do it out of politeness.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        I’m not quite sure what you mean by that. Do you think the son was being polite and just looking to take communion for the sake of being polite? The article didn’t say if he is a regular at church or not, but the fact that he got an apology, it can be inferred that he might be a regular and taking communion out of belief.

        I could go to any church I wanted and receive communion, but it isn’t something I would do in any circumstance because I don’t believe. (I was baptized and received communion as a child.)

        • Tor

          I grew up in a church with closed communion. I think he meant that the church can’t give communion to people out of politeness.

          • Wynter Marie Starr

            Thanks for the explanation. I really was unsure. I’ve never heard of that, so my confusion stems from that.

          • Toasterlad

            Yes, communion is a sacrament, and you’re not eligible to receive it if you’re not Catholic, or if you’re a child who hasn’t been been through the rituals yet.

            If this man was raised a Catholic, he would have been well aware of the church’s position on homosexuality, and should have known better not to go up and receive it, since he is, by Catholic law, unworthy of the sacrament.

          • Wynter Marie Starr

            I know at least one practicing Catholic who is gay and does go to get communion. The priest at the funeral said it was because he married outside the church. I only read Joe’s post and don’t know if the man in question attended church or was a member.

          • Tor

            For further explanation, since you’ve never heard of closed communion, in that sect, it meant that only baptized and confirmed members in good standing could participate.

          • Wynter Marie Starr

            I assumed the church in question was Catholic. I was unaware of how other sects handle communion. Thank you for the explanation.

          • Tor

            Most likely. I think most protestant churches share nicely, but some groups have larger crosses up their butts than others.

          • BudClark

            Misery Synod Lutherans practice closed communion. So do Associate Reform Presbyterians.

            The Eastern Orthodox are even more harsh. I got a ten-minute tirade from a priest at the door of the Russian cathedral in San Francisco, and I was there to hear Great Vespers of the Dormition sung … no Communion involved.

            There are multiple autocephalous Russian synods in the US, dating from the Communist era, when the anti-communists refused to be in communion with the Patriarch of Moscow. As a result, you have to be a member of the proper synod to receive.

            The Russians don’t give communion to ANYBODY else, even members of other Russian synods.

          • Wynter Marie Starr

            I was only aware of how Catholics handle communion. Even though I don’t claim the religion and have not done all that they require, I have done two of their sacraments and so could theoretically get communion in any Catholic church. I wouldn’t for a number of reasons.

            I also assumed the church in the post was Catholic. I was totally unaware that other sects handled that aspect so differently. I know very little about The Eastern Orthodox church, so I thank you for teaching me something new.

    • BudClark

      Heart-breaking.

  • Octavio

    Well, he can’t very well sue the priest. No big whoop. It’ time Ardillo faced the reality that his deeply held religious belief in catholicism is a lie.

  • DaveW

    Why would want to take part in their cannabalism? I understand it’s a funeral-I’ll be making my parents arrangements and it won’t happen in a brainwashing center. Celebrate the fact we don’t live according to their I humane rules!

    • BudClark

      I buried my mother from the Methodist church she helped to build. I played the organ, which she had donated in memory of my father. Communion wasn’t an issue … there was none. I chose the readings and the hymns. My sister and I wrote the eulogy … the minister was too young to have known Mother.

  • AJD

    Apology or not, this only illustrates how utterly heartless these bigots are. Like the evil Alabama mother in law and countless others, they’re willing to deny us even basic dignity.

  • clarknt67

    Catholic Church continues to be the best argument for atheism. Well done!

  • bambinoitaliano

    Time to walk away from this institution that sell you fake existence of a supernatural being.

  • Reality.Bites

    Could not give even the tiniest little rat’s ass.

    I hate the Catholic church and everything it stands for – and what it stands for is hatred of gay people. He had no business trying to take communion and they were certainly within their rights to deny him.

  • justmeeeee

    father beard looks like he’s seen tasted a cock-or-two in his day.

  • Toasterlad

    I am certainly sorry for this man’s loss. I am NOT sorry that he was embarrassed and humiliated by the Catholic church, as he is just another in a seemingly endless line of homos who can’t seem to get it through their head that the Catholic church is an anti-gay hate group. Do we really have it so good in this country that we expect religious organizations, especially virulently ignorant, anti-gay organizations like the Catholic church, to treat us the way anyone else would be treated?

    Anyone who has anything to voluntarily do with the Catholic church deserves every bit of humiliation they get. Don’t want the priest to embarrass you by not giving you communion? DON’T GET IN LINE FOR COMMUNION.

    They are a religious organization. No one has the authority to make them love you, serve you, or even admit you. They hate you. Don’t be surprised when they kick you in the head while you’re kneeling in prayer. You asked for it, just by being there.

  • TJay229

    I’m sorry, but i blame the Son for this.

    Was he NOT in charge of his mother’s funeral arrangements (it doesn’t say in the article or obit) if he was, you mean he took his business (yes, he made a donation to the church) to a hateful place… Then that’s his fault. There are plenty of places, options he could have chosen. His mother was 82yrs old.. I’m sure she wouldn’t want anyone to embarrass her son like that.

    That was poor planning on his behalf.

    • popebuck1

      That’s pretty damn harsh. It was his mother’s church and no doubt it was her wish to have her funeral there.

      • Tor

        I agree. The next and last time I step foot into my mother’s church will be for her funeral. No question that it will be held there. I will just hold my nose, and get through it.

      • TJay229

        What’s “pretty damn harsh” was the treatment he received.

        Last time I checked, dead people don’t know how the funeral goes.

        I’ve assisted in planning more than one funeral (unfortunately) and YOU have complete say so on the Who’s & Whatnots that go on (concerning the service), from the funeral home to the Church/Chapel he allowed that idiot to shame him at his mothers funeral, thus… His fault.

    • MDB

      He was more likely than not, honoring her wishes. In hindsight, now, he could have asked that a different priest be the celebrant. I just played for a funeral on Saturday where 5 priests from 4 traditions all celebrated the funeral mass (Episcopal) together. Military honor guard as well. Everyone sang their hearts out and ALL received communion !!! It was truly a wondrous celebration of the man’s life !!!

      • Toasterlad

        Or, again…he could have simply not gone up to receive communion.

      • Tor

        That’s way too much religion in one place….

    • Tor

      She was probably a church member, and what else would he do? Face it, that’s the way religion works here. Think of the scandal if he’d moved the ceremony to a non-denominational church. It would have meant certain burning in hell for the poor mother.

      • TJay229

        Every Funeral home I know has a Chapel…. I’m just saying.

        The woman is dead… How would she know her service wasn’t at the church?

        • Tor

          Her friends would notice…..

          • TJay229

            Ooooo.. They are gonna tell HER, right?

    • BudClark

      The RC bishop of San Diego refused to bury the gay owner of a local gay bar. The Episcopal bishop stepped in. The man’s Requiem was sung in the Episcopal cathedral, with an overflow congregation.

      The RC bishop subsequently died … of prostate cancer.

      We need an “irony” font.

  • Michael Varian Daly

    Why you wish to be part of something that hates you is beyond me.

    • I agree. I was raised Catholic, but left the church years ago. I attended a friend’s wedding two years ago which was held in a Roman Catholic church on the UES. When people got up to get communion, I remained seated. I am not part of that church anymore and I therefor should not be receiving its sacraments. Nor do I want to.

      Not defending a church at all, I’m rabidly anti-religion and very much so when it comes to Catholics, but if you’re not a member and you’re doing loads of shit the church is obviously against, why do you want to participate in its religious ceremonies?

      In this case, I think the church has a right to turn away non-practicing members. Poor form because it was a funeral, like, come on bro let some shit go it’s a sad day but… in general….

      • Toasterlad

        But even in this case, the guy could have avoided the situation entirely by not getting up to go to communion. Since I reached the age of reason, I’ve attended dozens of weddings and funerals at Catholic churches. When it’s communion time, I simply remain in my seat. No one comes around to ask you why you didn’t want to receive communion. There’s absolutely no reason to participate in this cannibalistic ritual, whatsoever.

        • Tor

          I’ve attended RC funerals and weddings where even most members of the families of the wedding party or deceased do not go forward.

          • Toasterlad

            Ditto.

  • BuckyB12

    I’m not really surprised that this happened — the surprising part is the apology from the diocese and the archbishop. That’s progress, no matter how slight.

    • RoFaWh

      They only apologized in a attempt to squelch bad publicity.

      • Tor

        Too little, too late. if the person did not receive his communion, he’s on his merry way to hell.. or something.

  • Max_1

    Dear Rev. Mark Beard,
    Who
    Would
    Jesus
    Refuse?

    • BudClark

      As a matter of fact, didn’t Jesus give Judas communion at the Last Supper?

  • royinhell

    Communion is probably the weirdest religious rite of our time (that I can think of at the moment). Eat and drink your ‘savior’s’ body and blood? Try explaining THAT to an outsider and not sound like a raving lunatic.

    • Hue-Man

      Cannibalunion?

    • RoFaWh

      Remember, that’s an RC interpretation.

      The protestant interpretation is generally that it’s just bread and wine, eaten and drunk in commemoration of the Last Supper. Nothing magical about it.

      • Toasterlad

        In commemoration of Jesus SAYING, “This is my flesh. Take it and eat it.”

        You can fault the Catholic church for a lot, but at least they don’t puss out about Jesus’ cannibalism.

        • Frommer_Gast

          He liked to speak in parables. My personal feeling is, that this whole “this is my etc” thing – if it actually happened – was meant as a kind of parable, taken literally by mistake.
          Btw – what a pity they had no mousse au chocolat as desert – would have been a nice complementation of flesh and blood …

          • BudClark

            Modern computer analysis has shown that Parables are almost always prefaced by “the Kingdom of God is like unto _______.”

            The account of the Verba isn’t reckoned as a Parable by most orthodox Biblical scholars, but I don’t know what it IS.

          • Frommer_Gast

            O.k. – they won´t count it as a Parable if it is not opened by the formula – just as I sometimes don´t get sarcasm if it is not tagged by the proper emoticon … still, I think the mere fact that we are not sure whether he existed at all and if yes who he was and what he said and did should not keep us from trying to be fair to him – and interpreting the Verba as an image, not as a spell, makes him slightly less nuts than the catholic interpretation does.

          • Frommer_Gast

            Strange … I posted a reply 2 days ago, which did not appear; so, assuming meam culpam – as anybody with a firm catholic background should do – I ascribed it to a mistake on my behalf and retyped it … and now both replies appear. Satan at work?

          • Frommer_Gast

            O.k., it´s not officially recognized as a Parable if it doesn´t start with the right introduction formula – just as I occasionally fail to recognize sarcasm when it is not tagged by the appropriate emoticon …
            However – the fact, that we neither know whether somebody actually existed, nor what he said and thought in case he did exist, should not keep us from being fair with him. And interpreting the Verba as an image rather than as a spell leading to spiritual cannibalism makes him in my eyes a slightly less troubled person than the official cannibatholic interpretation!

        • BudClark

          The Eucharist WAS the biggest stumbling block to early Jewish converts.

          The Greeks had an easier time of it. They accepted the Aristotelian “accidents” and “essence” philosophy. The “accidents,” the physical appearance and appurtenances, remain the same; the “essence” of what the thing is changes.

          “Faith alone, when sight forsaketh, shows true hearts the Mystery.”

          It’s a shame they didn’t latch onto sharing seed as the essence of communion with the godhead. Of course, some branches of Satanism DID .

      • BudClark

        All those in the “catholic” orbit — Anglicans, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Armenians, Copts, Nestorians, Old Catholics, Swedish Lutherans, some other Lutheran bodies, RCs, etc. believe in some form of the Real Presence.

        Most of the Eastern Churches call it mysterium tremendum fidei and leave it at that.

        The Articles of Religion in the Book of Common Prayer say that “Christ is received after a heavenly and spiritual manner,” whatever THAT means … typical Anglican waffle and fudge (I am a Pastafarian / High Church Anglican).

        John Calvin in his Institutes has some VERY interesting theories about Christ’s presence in the Eucharistic Bread and Wine (!).

        It should be pointed out that, despite the Great Schism, there was essentially one Church in belief and practice for the first 1500 years of Christianity. The filioque controversy was a political red herring, nothing more.

    • Tor

      If an alien were to arrive from outer space and read the bible, I think s/he would never deduce modern christianity from it.

      • Bad Tom

        She/He/It might also recommend to their superiors: “Nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

  • I was raised Catholic, but left the church years ago. I attended a friend’s wedding two years ago which was held in a Roman Catholic church on the UES. When people got up to get communion, I remained seated. I am not part of that church anymore and I therefor should not be receiving its sacraments. Nor do I want to.

    Not defending a church at all, I’m rabidly anti-religion and very much so when it comes to Catholics, but if you’re not a member and you’re doing loads of shit the church is obviously against, why do you want to participate in its religious ceremonies?

    In this case, I think the church has a right to turn away non-practicing members. Poor form because it was a funeral, like, come on bro let some shit go it’s a sad day but… in general…. would we be as pissedi f the priest refused communion to a jewish guy wearing a yarmulka? If you’re not part o the church and you’re actively going against the church (which, again, to me is a GREAT thing because the church is so backwards and psychotic), why seek to participate in its sacraments?

    • CB

      I agree. But they are not consistent. Part of my family is RC, and since I am not and since non RC’s were not invited to take communion at a family funeral, I declined. Out of respect for my aunt who would not receive in our Episcopal church. I was later excoriated by the priest for being disrepectful of the sacrament. Consistency is not one of the characteristics of the church. When I do receive communion it’s not out of religious belief; it’s about consideration for the people and the reason I’m in a church at all. That has meaning to me. Same with opting not to in the case of my aunt.

      • BudClark

        Huh? “Disrespectful of the (RC) Sacrament?” That makes no SENSE.

        Leo XIII declared Anglican Sacraments and Holy Orders to be “utterly invalid” in all cases, which, of course, doesn’t deal with RC priests who become Anglicans and then become Anglican bishops.

        • BudClark

          I suppose they’re “half-valid.” Their RC priesthood is valid; their consecration as Anglican bishops is “not.”

  • Divorced and remarried people take communion in Catholic parishes every Sunday all over the country. This is bullshit. But then what can you expect from the church of the kidfuckers.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    YUP, that’s exactly what Zombie Jeebus would do…….what an asshole.

  • John T

    I would consider it an honor, actually, if a priest told me I wasn’t morally fit to eat the flesh and drink the blood of a fictional zombie.

  • Daniel

    Go in the pigsty and you’re probably going to get pigshit all over you.

  • I thought that xtians believed that god was the final judge and its not our place to judge others, as we don’t know what is in others hearts?

    • Tor

      Apparently god left some representatives on earth to do his dirty work.

    • Toasterlad

      Catholics believe that you must be in a state of grace to receive communion, and that non-celibate gay people are not, by definition, in a state of grace.

      Everyone trying to make the priest the bad guy is missing the point. THE CHURCH IS THE BAD GUY. THE PRIEST WAS DOING HIS JOB. The gay man had no business getting up to receive communion.

      • The priest was NOT just doing his job. The young man might have gone to Confession earlier that day (or the day before) and would thus have been in a state of grace. In proclaiming that he was not, the priest was being presumptuous (sensa catholica) which is a grievous sin.

        • Toasterlad

          The man was married to a man. He was in violation of Catholic law even if he had been blown by Jesus 10 minutes before the service.

          I realize that it’s hard for some people to accept that the gay man bears the responsibility for what happened to him, but that’s the case. If you get in line for service at an anti-gay hate cult, you can’t claim to be shocked and mistreated when they are anti-gay to your face.

          Again: a Catholic church is not a florist or a bakery. We have zero rights in a Catholic church. They are free to treat us however they wish. Complaining about it only makes us seem unreasonable, and looks like we’re doing exactly what we kept swearing we weren’t trying to do: make churches serve us.

          If you are gay, and you try to obtain services from the Catholic church, or any other anti-gay hate cult, you are actively hurting our progress. Knock it off, grow up, and find a church with an invisible friend who actually wants to play with you. Or, better yet, drop the religious nonsense once and for all.

          • So? My religious beliefs or lack thereof, past present or future, are none of your business.

          • Toasterlad

            I never said they were. All I said was, if you still want to be a Catholic after the Catholic church has made it clear that you cannot be a Catholic, you’re a pathetic, shit-stained loser.

        • BudClark

          The priest was also giving public scandal if what you say about the man having been to confession was true. What the priest did was tantamount to breaking the seal.

          A wise old high Anglican bishop told me that NO ONE should EVER be publicly refused Holy Communion. It is for “god” to judge, not the celebrant.

          • I didn’t say that the young man had gone to confession before the funeral, but that Fr Beard could not have known whether he had or not. (See my remarks immediately above.) I am inclined to think that if he had chosen to go to confession, he would have chosen another priest; Beard is not the only priest in America. I certainly would in this case, and I know devout Catholics who never go to confession in their own parish, being aware that the much-boasted “seal of the confessional” is an ideal comparable to priestly chastity.

            All this aside, you are quite right. Beard is guilty of public scandal, and apologising for his behaviour was the least the bishop and archbishop could do.

        • BudClark

          He would have had to “put away” his husband AND STOP LIVING WITH him in order for a priest to grant him absolution.

  • Ninja0980

    Just another reason why I left the church at 18 and never looked back.

    • Hal Watts

      A gay person trying to be Catholic is like someone staying in an abusive relationship. You will be called names–“intrinsically disordered,” for example. You can expect doctrinal kicks and slaps. And for icing on the cake, you can count on the RCC to oppose any civil rights protections that are discussed. My husband and I left also; fuck ’em!

  • NZArtist

    Why the fuck is *any* gay person a member of this cult of crazy?
    Actually why is anyone, gay or straight a member of the crazy cult?
    Just walk away from the crazy. There are no invisible friends. Don’t give your money, time, and support to people who work to take away your humanity. Don’t legitimize their craziness.
    The correct response when anyone talks about their invisible friend is to laugh in their face and walk away.

  • David Lightman

    Yeah we’d all like to see the church change its stance blah blah. But it is what it is… so given that, why would any non celibate gay man WANT communion? I’d rather deny the church my attendance (and tithing). And if it was a family funeral, I’d just sit in the pews.

    • Tor

      I’ve been to plenty of RC funerals and weddings where most of the family remains in the pews.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        I would like to think their wallets remained unopened, too.

        • Tor

          I’m sure they did.

      • BudClark

        It used to be that all weddings and funerals were “uncommunicated.” Only the priest received at Requiems; only the priest and the bride and groom received at Nuptial Masses.

        The reasoning for Requiems was that the Mass was offered for the dead, and not the living. Thus the Pax was omitted, and the Agnus Dei changed to:

        Agnus Dei … dona eis requiem.
        Agnus Dei … dona eis requiem.
        Agnus Dei … dona eis requiem sempiternam.

        Some other things were changed too. All the candles were to be of unbleached wax, and the candlesticks were to be simple wooden ones.

        Incense was used at the Gospel, but not torches.

        Mind you, this is going back more than fifty years .

        They didn’t give general communion at Nuptial Masses because they presumed there were too many “heathen” in the congregation (chuckle).

  • Bj Lincoln

    The priest is a dick! He took advantage of his privilege and turned it against a harmless man who was burying a loved one.
    Why ANY gay person continues to be associated with the CC, I will never understand. They are nothing but a bunch of crooks, pedifiles, harbors of child molesters and hate LGBT people. If they were ANY OTHER business, they would be shut down and ALL be in prison!

  • KQCA

    Not the first I’ve seen of this. In my youth, when I was trying to figure myself out, I was music director at a Baptist church where I was asked to provide music at a funeral. During the funeral I learned that the young man had died of AIDS and my church had worked with the family to separate him and his lover of several years for each to die alone.
    Christianity is absolute evil incarnate.

  • 10_39

    Of course a priest giving communion at a Catholic funeral Mass doesn’t deny communion to someone who is divorced and remarried or who has married a person who is not Catholic. This doesn’t happen because the church knows better than to insist on enforcement of its most unpopular tenets. Same will happen with official shunning of people who are in same sex marriages.

    When that happens, it will eliminate the internal conflict for people who are gay and who also want to remain in the Catholic Church. A friend is a twice-divorced, devout Catholic who attends Mass, donates to the church, and sent her children to Catholic schools. She saw no conflict. Once her youngest child came out as gay, her solution was to “avoid the churches with the backward priests,” which isn’t difficult and is something she already does.

    • hudson11

      my husband’s mom passed after a mercifully short battle with alzheimers. not having gone to mass for long time and the care facility not being in her parish, it was difficult finding a priest on short notice to do a service. It couldn’t be in a church because of rules, but he found one willing. we held her memorial in a beautiful alvar-altoesque facility in one of the cemetaries. the priest, a young Polish man, was wonderful to both of us and hd no issues with us. had there been communion, i have no doubt it would have been offered to Mark. he’s the kind of priest the church needs more of. i’m not even catholic and he almost had me. 🙂

  • TexPlant

    Sick bastard priest, at the man’s mothers funeral. What a classless act!

  • KQCA

    “You can have our kids, but don’t let those homos be treated equal to us.”

    • houstonray

      “and we’ll take your money”….

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    Interesting that the diocese and archbishop apologized. Otherwise, more of the same.

  • fuzzybits

    Another day I’m glad I wasn’t born into this world wide cult.

  • KQCA

    Priests get pissed when someone can’t reproduce and provide them a breathing sex toy.

  • JCF

    “The priest in question, the Rev. Mark Beard [PHOTO]”

    Ze comedy, it writez itzelf!

    Jesus is his beard.

  • joseps

    Okay you want to participate in a hate-group’s ritual, a hate group who hates YOU the most, and you are offended when they don’t let you participate. That is like a Jew trying to join a Nazi organization and then being surprised when they don’t let them.

  • WTF? FFS!

    gay man just couldn’t resist delicious wafer
    puke!

  • goofy_joe

    “Love one another” should be the only rule in religion. Everything else is an addition by mortal man.

    Not that I’m religious, but that was the lesson I was taught being brought up in the church.

  • Sean Taylor

    Fucking Catholics

    • BudClark

      The sex I’ve had with Catholic priests has mostly been adolescent fumbling. I don’t think they’re gay or straight … they suffer from arrested sexual development.

  • abqdan

    If you join a cult like the Roman Catholic Church, then you play by their rules – he signed up for this.

  • Ogre Magi

    If you ever get a chance to document a gay priest in “the act” take it and get it on the web ASAP. These scum deserve nothing less

  • Gerry Fisher

    FWIW, I recently attended a Catholic funeral for my aunt. I noticed that, in the many years since I’d been to mass, they added the option of “receiving a blessing” instead of taking communion. I suppose it’s a face-saving method of ducking the whole issue, given that there could be a number of reasons for not being eligible for communion (having an unconfessed, mortal sin on your soul; having remarried). I didn’t play that game. I walked out the pew, walked quickly past the priest (refusing both communion and the blessing), and re-entered the pew on the other side. I’ll honor my aunt, but I don’t need a priest or a church filled with damaging, hateful dogma to stand in between me and my spiritual experiences.

    I did, however, do a Biblical reading earlier in the mass. The church did not crumble as expected. I clearly need to work on expanding my powers.

  • 2karmanot

    “Whoever eats the bread or drinks the
    cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord” By this reasoning cannibals must be pure.

  • ScottChicago

    “Woe to the Shepherds of the flock,

    Ye have not healed that which was sick,

    ye have not sought what was lost.

    Therefore hear ye the word of the Lord.

    I will require my flock at your hands.

    I will seek out my sheep and will deliver them.”
    Elgar, The Light of Life

  • Marides48

    Denied participation in a religious cannibalism ritual?