Tim Tebow Returns To The NFL

The wingnuts are doing cartwheels.

  • BearEyes

    yawn.

  • Blobby

    He’ll be cut in the pre-season.

    • My girlfriend, who knows far more about football than I do, remarked “It’s a good thing he prays lots, because he’ll need an act of God to make this work.”

    • Brewblaz

      I hope not, as a Giants fan we’ll get him first!

    • KCMC

      (apologies) so he’s uncut now?

  • Herald

    The Eagles think he will help them??
    Or is this a publicity stunt for the Central PA crowd?

    • clay

      I know. I was thinking when I heard this, “They hired him . . . for what?”

    • David Walker

      Not that I follow football at all, but I live in Central PA which tends to rank its football teams
      1. Penn State Nittany Lions (can’t even begin to tell you how sick I am of them)
      2. Pittsburgh Steelers (or Stillers, which is the correct pronunciation)
      3. Philadelphia Eagles (or Beagles when they aren’t doing great, so they’re normally known as the Beagles)
      Pretty much, that’s what I know about football.

      • Herald

        Many of my relatives live in Central PA, they are almost all teavangelical types and many are rabid Penn State / Eagle fans. This would get them all excited. Personally, I don’t follow it at all anymore.

  • joeyj1220
    • Todd20036

      I’d fuck him

      • RoFaWh

        The line forms to the left. Five dollars, please.

    • Brian in Valdosta

      I love that video. I like to turn the sound off and play “Mystery Gay Theatre 3000” and … you know, fill in my own words. With lots of sibilant S’s. Which is to say: I try to imitate Tebow’s voice exactly.

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      No Homo…… WAY Homo.

  • oikos
    • Todd20036

      You really think the tea baggers give a crap about the kid on the right? He’s black. He’s poor.

      • oikos

        Of course not. It’s what jeebus would want. That kid on the right is just too lazy to get a job.

  • Dean

    I see the governor is fulfilling his duty of serious governing .

    • That’s just how he rolls.

      • Dean

        ….as in “wheels”………..:)

    • Prixator

      And why is he playing favourites? I thought Houston had a team, too.

      • Nuff Said

        Yeah, but a tree fell on him in Houston, so he holds a grudge.

  • Gustav2

    5 quarterbacks?

  • John

    “The wingnuts are doing cartwheels.”

    Please tell me we have video of Todd Starnes doing cartwheels! Don’t torture us, Joe!

    • Todd20036

      Yeah, Maggie doing a cartwheel. I’ll believe that when I see it.
      And then proceed to drink enough alcohol in order to unsee it.

      • geoffalnutt

        Wouldn’t she end up stuck to the ceiling? Or the wall? Ew.

  • Joe in PA

    Thanks Eagles…same team that hired (and thankfully fired) Michael Vick.

    • Cricket

      Thanks for that, Joe in PA!! Love it.

  • Homo Erectus

    Oh goodie! More gay players in the NFL 😉

    • Ireyon

      He’s admittedly rather handsome.

      I wonder if he’s still a virgin?

      • DonnaLee

        Well he’s never been married right, although he’s been notably silent on sexual matters last few years….

      • Jon

        Oh, I think we can be sure that that penis has never been in a vagina. Nor does it have any plans to.

  • geoffalnutt

    Okay. To “Tebow” may be a verb, but I don’t think he knows that we know exactly what it means!

  • BudClark

    But he won’t be bringing back the Hail Mary. He’s a KKKonservative KKKriSTAINist KKKrazy.

    Has “Hustler” found anyone who’s tapped him yet?

  • Cyril

    YESSSSS!! TEBOW TIME!

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

    I guess he misses the after game Locker-room BJ’s.

    • Nuff Said

      Ooooo…. Double Ententre!

      A. Misses: “is nostalgic for”

      B. misses: “is absent because he is too uptight for”

  • Ninja0980

    He is being brought in to boost tickets sales and nothing more then that.

  • David From Canada

    I like Tim Tebow. He’s the clean-cut, boy-next-door type, and I wish him well.
    I also fervently hope that Michael Sam, who also has a beautiful, polite personality, also gets another chance at the big time in football.

  • Bj Lincoln

    Only if he is charged a fine like the poor Muslim had to for take his religious posture.

  • delk

    Eagles?

    Soar?

    ugh, bring on John “Cover them Breasts” Ashcroft
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woLQI8X2R6Y&spfreload=10

    • delk

      The little “Liza Breath” at 2:15 or so…

  • GlennF

    The NFL will bend over backwards to give a questionable football player like Tebow multiple second chances, but they will not give a winning college player like Michael Sam even one chance to prove himself on the regular-season NFL field simply because he is openly gay.

    More glaring evidence of homophobia in the NFL if anyone needed it.

    • RoFaWh

      Betcha that the institutionalized homophobia in the NFL is due to the influence of a single higher-up in the organization. Any way to figure out who that is and then publicize it? As we’ve seen many times, the bigots do not like being fingered for their bigotry.

      • Toasterlad

        It goes far beyond one guy. Many owners, league officials, and players declared – OFF the record, cowardly – that wouldn’t hire/play with Sam, because he’d be a “distraction”.

    • Toasterlad

      In all fairness, Tebow was a phenomenally successful college athlete, who, like many, couldn’t make the adjustment to the pros. Coaches remain excited by his potential, despite his proving time and again that he’s incapable of preforming at the pro-level. While I believe that Michael Sam is definitely being discriminated against, Tebow is not evidence of it. He’s his own separate can of worms.

  • Xuuths

    The Eagles will not be happy when photographic evidence of tebow’s homosexuality get leaked somehow. He may be very careful, however, so it might take awhile.

  • kladinvt

    So that means the Eagles will have a losing season.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Yet another mediocre Jeezoid with drooling followers.

  • Freeman

    The NFL is so full of it. It has now becoming apparent that the whole Michael Sam fiasco was a PR ploy meant to rid itself of a controversy and “distraction”. First, multiple stories were leaked to the press that he just wasn’t up to the NFL standards. Bullshit. Many players with less impressive credentials have been given opportunities to play and are still playing. They had no intention of drafting him at all, until the publicity and pressure became too much. Then, a team agreed to draft him and quietly cut him (of course after a “leaked” story of shower room “distractions”). You can be sure, the team was or will be compensated in some way for its “sacrifice”. After that, the Cowboys agreed to take Sam on their practice squad, again quietly letting him go after a proper time. All of this is classic PR handling of a crisis – slowly reducing the controversy as time and concern ebb. Whoever the handler was did a great job.

    • Paul

      The fact that Jay Cutler is still a franchised quarterback, yet Michael Sam isn’t playing at all, shows there’s something rotten in Denmark.

  • David Lightman

    Maybe I’m a gay blasphemer but I think he’s hot and if he wants to get down on his knees and Tebow that nice ass in the air I am all the happier.

  • That Other Jean

    Because in some universe it makes sense that Tim Tebow is signed with an NFL team and Michael Sam is not. Just not in this one. WTF?

  • anne marie in philly

    this city can do NOTHING right! why anyone would sign this stoopid idiot is beyond me. and I don’t even LIKE football!

  • JCF

    Meanwhile, Philly rentboys are stocking up on condoms…