Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse Has Phallic Neckline Challenge For Anderson Cooper

  • Reality.Bites

    Thats funny. so do I (have a phallic neckline challenge for Anderson Cooper)

    • EdmondWherever

      I challenge him to sloppy seconds.

  • GarySFBCN

    They are entertaining when they are nutty and not violent.

  • HZ81

    I gotta say, I didn’t think “dick” when I saw that neckline, and I think about dick a lot.

    • George

      But the better point is… what the fuck is this asshole talking about? I am totally lost.

      • HZ81

        I didn’t listen. My constitution and threshold for bullshittery is low today.

    • KCMC

      no restraint

  • Bared Bear

    demon penises… everywhere!!!

    • TheManicMechanic

      I knew he was going for the Ankh cross once I figured out what the raving was about.

      • Bared Bear

        oh, really? i had no idea. i grew up in a looney church but i left it as soon as i could drive away… i guess i can’t predict their insane fixations anymore.

        • TheManicMechanic

          I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not, but I found if I just think of what would be the most farfetched, crazy things possible that these nutjobs was grab a hold of, it seems to eventually happen. Though even I can’t go that far down their rabbit holes.

      • But it’s the key to sanctuary, which leads to box, which leads to rows of frozen beef cake, which if you blow shit up, will lead to outside and the glowing red jewel will turn clear and you can grow older than 30! RUN Logan, RUN!

    • B Snow

      I think I read that story. Or I want to.

  • noni

    William Tapley is not gay and as thus he is not a self loathing closet case.

    According to former Senator Larry Craig (R-Understall)

    • Jake

      Tap tap tap

  • wds

    I’m wondering if he has spermy underwear every time he finishes one of these videos?

    • EdmondWherever

      Strange. I am not wondering that.

  • another_steve

    I don’t watch CNN much. It strikes me…I dunno…as a bit too schlocky for my taste.

    What’s Anderson girl up to these days?

    Is she still…like…coming out?

    • Anderson is way out these days. I don’t have cable and don’t miss CNN one bit, but Coop is worth watching if I’m somewhere and it’s on.

  • SunsetGay

    I think the GOP just found it’s new nominee for 2016.

    Third Eagle Guy/Bryan Fischer 2016!

    … Because we got Trump, Cruz, Palin and Ben Carson. So why not?

  • Billanddogs

    Evil sex, evil sex, everywhere I look! You people are vile sinners, thinking about sex all the time. I am the co-prophet of the rear ends, er, I mean the end times!

  • Bared Bear

    naked boys… all i see is cavorting, sweaty, glistening naked boys.

  • Octavio

    Cooper hurt my feelings and so I’m going to hurt his, just the way Jeebus teaches us to do in the buybull. Neener, neener, neener, neener.
    Take them apples, Anderson Cooper! Oh, and happy end of times. 🙂

  • BearEyes

    Funny how he didn’t identify the vagina shape at 5:50, but only the phallic shapes before.

  • Rocco Gibraltar
    • oink

      hey! allens a real nice guy, don’t insult him like that… and he is/was a lot of fun at Folsom Street Fair and Dore Alley 🙂

  • That poor woman. She picked out a jacket that is a wonderful color for her and it never occurred to her (like it didn’t occur to me until he pointed it out) that it looked like either a penis or an ankh. She looks very professional and now our idiot media culture (social as well as mainstream) is being stupid as usually. #facepalm

    • Joe knows who I am.

      That’s because Satan didn’t WANT it to occur to either you or her. He’s totes into subliminal advertising these days.

      • another_steve

        Yes, I believe Satan is into subliminal advertising.

        I pride myself in not looking at any of the google ads thrust upon me — but the other day, in the supermarket, I found myself looking at the “Aleve” display on the shelf.

        “Why?,” I asked myself. I don’t even use that shit. I haven’t taken an aspirin in five years.

        Then I remembered that I googled something recently having to do with “headaches.”

        I’m fucked now.

        I’ll be looking at Aleve ads until I die.

        • Bad Tom

          Until you google something else.
          Then it will switch.

    • Bj Lincoln

      My wife showed the photo to me and asked if I saw anything wrong with the jacket. I looked and looked but didn’t see anything until she said the word “dick”.
      I feel sorry for her as well and the color was good on her.

      • RGG

        That’s because you were brought up right.

      • Porkie

        I think that to appreciate that neckline you have to have a deep and yet unrequited need for cock (like the 3rd eagle of the apocalypse).

  • zhera


    The images of Mary at the end totally look like she’s resting in a pussy. This guy doesn’t even realize the irony. OR maybe he does, and this is the best trolling performance in all of history?

  • SoCalVet

    he doesn’t see the labia in the mary image? The devil is clouding his eyes to it.

    • WildwoodGuy

      When would he ever have seen one to compare it with?

      • People4Humanity

        You don’t mean he was delivered by —
        ghasp! —
        Cæsarian section!?

  • Snarkaholic

    We need to cover the dome of the Capital Building…it looks like a Gigantic Breast…with an aroused nipple!!! We can’t have women thinking that it’s okay to feel sexually aroused!!! Bring your biggest tarp!!!1!!!!1!1!eleventy-one!!! HURRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • People4Humanity

      I’m not up on my numerology.

      Is 1!1!eleventy-one!!! = 5150 ?

      • Snarkaholic

        No. When overly-emotional people type comments online, they often accidentally type ‘ones’ in with their (multiple) exclamation points. ‘Eleventy-one’ is just my sarcastic exaggeration of their mistake.

        • People4Humanity

          It was chuckle-worthy. Thanks!

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Mom- Gpa got loose again !

  • zhera

    Pleeeeeaaase watch the video called ‘Satanic Logos in the Catholic Church’! It’s absolutely hilarious!

  • Tom Cotner

    I don’t know what Anderson did to insult this nut, but whatever it was, it was totally justified.
    If this twerp weren’t so hysterically funny, I’d think he was hysterically crazy — ooops — I already knew that. Wow — don’t we live in a wonderful country !!!

    • skeptical_inquirer

      Anderson put him on the Ridiculist three times. I got the weird vibe that the Third Eagle REALLY liked the attention he was getting from Cooper.

  • TheManicMechanic

    “And the Co-Prophet of theseth End Timesth.”

    Definitely doth proteststh to much.

    • Mike__in_Houston

      I don’t normally watch these things. I did watch this one, along with watching my IQ drop about 10 points in the process. I guess he figures we won’t realize that the picture behind him takes up the whole screen if he doesn’t take turns using both hands to point it out. And that delivery! As to his eses, he reminds me of the Dom de Luise quote in Blazing Saddles: “Sounds like steam escaping.” I don’t know what Anderson Cooper said about him but he obviously hit a sore spot. I’m sure Anderson Cooper was correct also, other than I don’t know why he would waste time on such a nobody.

      • TheManicMechanic


        This is the kind of trash we end up when a nutjob gets hold of some studio equipment and a camera. Crazy spouting in the center of gawdawful production. I often think we are being had with this guy, like he’s working for The Onion or something. The very essence of Poe’s Law.

      • TheManicMechanic

        I sure hope someone susses out that sore spot, it’d be fun hitting it over and over again, like, with a sledgehammer. 😉

        • Mike__in_Houston

          I gotta say it. I think you are hot.

          • TheManicMechanic

            Aw, gawrsh…

            You are too kind.

  • Joe in PA

    this post needs the ‘get the net’ label. Yikes.

  • Clive Johnson

    The Third Eagle missed another hidden symbol:

    • Bared Bear

      that’s so awful that i’m going to steal it for future awfulness.

    • franklinb23

      Holy Mother of Vag … Where did you find that delightful piece of kitche?? A sex shop or an Italian Catholic church??

    • another_steve

      If that’s a replica of the female vagina, it’s too visually complicated for me.

      That may explain why I’m queer.

      • nazani

        I wouldn’t expect you guys to know this, but the external female genitalia are called “the vulva.” You can’t see a vagina unless you have a speculum.

        • another_steve

          Thank you, nazani.

          I suspect 98 percent of heterosexual males don’t understand the distinction — so you can only imagine what percentage of we queer guys do.

    • TheManicMechanic

      The Blessit Vaggin’ Mary!

  • TomF.

    Those little-boy polo shirts Mr. Third Eagle wears just crack me up.

  • Albert Ross

    Why does he keep saying ‘frenzly’?

  • Capritaur

    Does he realize that divination and numerology are witchcraft and therefore satanic? A real prophet does not need to look for signs of the future in patterns and events because it shall be revealed to him by God Himself. Only a witch reads tea leaves.

  • Michael Abbett

    Uh oh, someone has spiked grandpa’s oats and put him in front of the teevee makin’ machine again. I love how he has to indicate both sides when emphasizing something behind him. Gawd, if this is what our opposition looks like no wonder we’ve got them in a corner.

  • sherman

    Does anyone know whatever happened to the first and second apocalypse eagles?

    • Alzheimers.

    • RGG

      tertiary syphilis

    • TexasBoy

      I think Eagle 1 and Eagle 2 got wrecked on the moon.

      • nocadrummer

        … about 16 years ago.

  • motordog

    Meh…sometimes I think this dude is kinda funny…but honestly his shtick is getting a bit old, too. He needs to expand his list of characters.

  • um, i’m gonna guess the “social media storm” (that i didn’t notice) didn’t assign her penis shaped neckline to satan and the end times………. or those scary female genitalia all mixed up on the top of her shirt with the evil penis demon. i think someone is lobbying to be on anderson cooper again

  • TKW

    Oh, Mary! In many cultures old and new, the penis and vagina represent fertility and growth, not the nasty pervy-ness that you seem to fixate on.

  • Bryan

    Demonic phalluses, I rebuke you!

  • TexasBoy

    This guy sure thinks a lot about phallic symbols

  • ColdCountry

    The Ankh is a demonic symbol?

  • Dramphooey

    This is really great. He starts by trying to shame Anderson Cooper by pointing out a bunch of others who spotted a phallic symbol in something innocent and then he just completely veers into completely insanity with the ankh bullshit.

  • Ore Carmi

    Wait, the shape of her face represents female genitalia? Oh, my god, look at all those vaginas walking all around me! The world is full of vaginas!

    • B Snow

      I should hope so!

  • Kissmagrits

    People with Jeebus besotted brains usually see dangling appendages everywhere they go as every orifice strikes terror. It must seem like they’re being chased by giant pee-pees and 1958 Edsel grills. Very disturbing.

  • nocadrummer

    So if that news reporter reminded him of an ankh, does anybody else see a vagina in one of the most famous images of of the Virgin?

    (Squint a little if you don’t… and maybe ask a female friend if you’re not familiar with a vagina.)

  • e jerry powell

    Chris Hardwick did it better on @midnight.

  • Steve

    What a total nutcase!

  • Dan Robinson

    Why does the third EAGLE of the apocalypse need reading glasses?

  • SilasMarner

    Boy, he sure sees a lot of dicks everywhere. Hmmm, you don’t suppose…?

  • Julia

    His closet is huge and deeeeep.

  • TexasBoy

    Oh William, your subscribers aren’t laughing with you, they’re laughing at you.