Tag Archives: Vatican

Vatican Exorcist: Yoga Turns You Hindu

Former head Vatican exorcist (seriously, there IS such a thing) Father Gabriel Amorth is warning that practicing yoga will turn you into a Hindu. Cuz yoga is from Satan. Who is totally a Hindu. Or something. “Practicing yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter,” Father Gabriele Amorth said this week. As for yoga, it leads …

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FAKERY: About That Stigmata, Father…

In 2002 Pope John Paul II made some dead priest a saint because of the way his palms bled every day for 50 years. Just like Jeebus! Of course, that’s assuming that Jeebus also used carbolic acid to eat away his hands. Italian historian Professor Sergio Luzzatto has discovered documents including a letter from a pharmacist who arranged carbolic acid …

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NOM Promises “Papist Takeover”

In a tweet that underscores NOM’s increasingly transparent operation as an arm of the Catholic Church, today their blogger Thomas Peters promised a “papist takeover.” (Of the United States, we guess.) Peters’ father is the U.S. advisor to the Vatican’s highest court and recently called for Archbishop Timothy Dolan to excommunicate NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo over his support for same-sex …

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White House Vs. Benetton

The White House has joined the Vatican in expressing displeasure at Benetton’s wildly viral ad campaign. But unlike the Vatican, the White House is more concerned with copyright issues. The White House isn’t feeling very kissy toward Benetton, after the publicity-loving clothing company photo-shopped President Obama into an ad smooching Chinese leader Hu Jintao and Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez. “The …

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Brian Brownshirt Cheers Prop 8 Opinion

“It has been nothing short of shameful to see Governor Jerry Brown, his predecessor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Attorney General Kamala Harris abdicate their constitutional responsibility to defend Proposition 8 in Court. Although today’s ruling from the California Supreme Court confirms that the proponents of Prop 8 have the right to defend their initiative when the state officials refuse to fulfill …

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Benetton Pulls Pope Image

After furious complaints from the Vatican, controversial fashion house Benetton has pulled the Pope’s “Unhate” image from their campaign featuring world leaders kissing on the mouth. (I posted another image from the campaign yesterday.) “This shows a grave lack of respect for the Pope, an offence to the feelings of believers, a clear demonstration of how publicity can violate the …

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THE HAGUE: Pope Benedict Accused Of Crimes Against Humanity

At the International Criminal Court in The Hague, representatives of victims of child abuse today filed a formal accusation against Pope Benedict and other top Catholic officials, charging them with crimes against humanity for enabling pedophile priests. The submission, lodged at The Hague on Tuesday, accuses the four men not only of failing to prevent or punish perpetrators of rape …

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WIKILEAKS: American Embassy Convinced Vatican To Oppose “Kill Gays” Bill

According to a leaked diplomatic cable, the Vatican came out against Uganda’s still-pending “kill the gays” bill after lobbying efforts by the American embassy. Via Box Turtle Bulletin: Embassy Vatican has actively lobbied Holy See officials to take a stand against pending legislation in Uganda that would criminalize homosexuality and in extreme cases, even punish it with death (reftel). On …

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The Pope Has An iPad

And a Twitter account. Almost 1300 tweets in the first couple of days.

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Vatican: Obama’s Pro-Gay UN Resolution Attacks Our Right To Be Hateful Bigots

“People are being attacked for taking positions that do not support sexual behaviour between people of the same sex. When they express their moral beliefs or beliefs about human nature … they are stigmatised, and worse — they are vilified, and prosecuted. These attacks are violations of fundamental human rights and cannot be justified under any circumstances. States can and …

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Pope Can’t Donate His Holy Organs

Once upon a time, Joseph Ratzinger had an organ donor card. But now that’s he’s the pope, his organs are too holy to transplant. In 1999, six years before he was elected to the papacy, then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger disclosed that he always carried an organ donor’s card with him and encouraged the practice as “an act of love.” Vatican …

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This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days…. California: Pastor Tommy Gene Daniels held on $6M bail for six felony counts of molesting girls as young as five years old.Massachusetts: Father Gary Mercure on trial for molesting two altar boys.South Carolina: Pastor Daniel Belcher charged with embezzling $200,000 from a former employer.Britain: Catholic Church settles lawsuit filed by three brothers molested by the …

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SMOKING GUN: Vatican Warned Irish Bishops Not To Report Pedophile Priests

In a just-revealed 1997 letter, a Vatican representative for the soon to be sainted Pope John Paul II warned Ireland’s bishops not to report pedophile priests to the police. The letter, obtained by Irish broadcasters RTE and provided to The Associated Press, documents the Vatican’s rejection of a 1996 Irish church initiative to begin helping police identify pedophile priests following …

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Vatican To Beatify Pope John Paul II

Emperor Palpatine has waived the traditional five year post-death waiting period and is moving to have Pope John Paul II named a saint. Because he was a miracle worker. Literally. The pope on Friday signed off on the miracle needed to beatify Pope John Paul II, and set May 1 as the date to honor one of the most beloved …

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Vatican: Homer Simpson Is A Catholic

The official newspaper of the Vatican has decided that Homer Simpson is a secret Catholic. “The Simpsons are among the few TV programmes for children in which Christian faith, religion, and questions about God are recurrent themes.” The family “recites prayers before meals and, in their own peculiar way, believes in the life thereafter”. It quoted an analysis by a …

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HomoQuotable – Andrew Sullivan

“It seems pretty obvious to me…that the current Pope is a gay man (just as it was blindingly clear that John Paul II was straight). I am not claiming that Benedict is someone who has explored his sexuality, or has violated his own strictures on the matter. There is absolutely no evidence of that, or of hypocrisy of any sort. …

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HomoQuotable – Andrew Sullivan

“It is worth noting, once again, how utterly hollow the Vatican is on the subject of homosexuality. It is an institution so embedded with homosexuality it makes Broadway look straight. The stories I’ve heard! The network of gay priests is vast in Rome, and is, in my mind, as unhealthy for those who get away with it – the hypocrisy …

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Tweet Of The Day – Andy Borowitz

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