Tag Archives: Overheard

First Avenue, Thursday, 10pm Yuppie Woman 1: Wow, they really put those apartments up fast!Yuppie Woman 2: What used to be there?Yuppie Woman 1: Um, there was a bar and a bodega. Nothing good.Yuppie Woman 2: Right.

East 68th Street, Trump Palace courtyard, 12pm Crabby Lady: Must you walk your dog in here? You don’t even live in this building. Woman With Beagle: My ex-husband does. So even Sophie knows where shit goes. Crabby Lady: Carry on.

Second Avenue, 9am A group of people are running from the subway to the bus stop across the street. Homeless Man: Run FASTER! You’re not making enough MONEY!

Better Burger, Chelsea, 8pm Angertwink 1: Hurry up. The Biggest Loser is on. Angertwink 2: Please. If I want to see sad fat people I’ll go to the Dugout.

McDonalds, First Avenue, 8:30am Customer on cell: He just jealous cuz I got all kinds of bitches and ho’s ridin’ my jock. I got all these bitches cuz I show them respect, you know what I’m sayin’? He just don’t know how to treat a bitch. I’d guess the customer was about 10 years old.

Chelsea, Saturday, 1AM At a Christmas party, several guys are loudly dishing a man standing ten feet away. Guy 1: “Oh, please. She thinks she is the hottest thing. I mean, look at her shoes! Who is she kidding?” Guy 2: “Would you STOP with the female pronouns already? HE is not a HER!” From across the room, the gentleman …

The Grill, 1st Avenue, 9AM Woman 1: Hell no, I’m not going. Fuck Christmas and fuck them.Woman 2: You have to go to get the check.Woman 1: What? If I don’t go, I don’t get it?Woman 2: I guess.Woman 1: In that case, I’ll go, but I’m showing up shitfaced.Woman 2: Just like a regular Monday.Woman 1: Fuck you..

Third & 68th, Tuesday, 9AM Woman On Cell: Wait a minute. Hold up. Go back. You get a 20% discount at Bloomingdales? When? ALL THE TIME? And you’re just telling me this NOW? I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to totally reevaluate our friendship..

Dugout, Sunday, 7pm Guy 1: So when I didn’t hear from him, I logged back into Manhunt under a fake name and picture and chatted him up, pretending to be 25 years old. Guy 2: And he invited the fake-you over to fuck. Guy 1: Totally! He did! Why am I the only real person on Manhunt?.

Cafe Luka, 1st Avenue, Wednesday 8pm Old Lady 1: So what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Old Lady 2: I’m having dinner with my daughter and her new husband. Old Lady 1: New? She got married again? How many is this? Old Lady 2: Four. And this is the third “Michael”. I guess she likes Michaels. Old Lady 1: Sounds …

The Dugout, Sunday, 7pmBear 1: Actually, I think it’s about over. I mean, I love him. But I don’t love love him. Bear 2: So you gonna cut him loose? Or just turn him into a friend-with-benefits? Bear 1: Oh, definitely friend-with-benefits. Cuz when he fucks me, he fuck fucks me.

Food Emporium, First Avenue, Wednesday 7PMA young mother is shopping with her pre-school son in the produce department. Mom: Stop touching everything! This is other people’s food, don’t you understand that? Kid: What can I touch? Mom: Nothing! We don’t touch things in stores. We only touch ourselves. She looks at me. Mom: That came out wrong, didn’t it? I …

The Grill, First Avenue, 8AM……Two people in front of me, an assistant is taking her boss’ breakfast order over her speaker-phone. Woman On Speaker: You’re unbelievable. I told you NO FUCKING EGGS! Omelets are made of EGGS. Breakfast burritos are made of EGGS. No FUCKING eggs! God, what fucking planet are you from? Get me a toasted raisin bagel and …

14th Street & 8th Avenue, Monday, 7PM Two gay boys are looking at a movie poster featuring Jake Gyllenhaal. Gay Boy 1: I would totally murder my parents to be his boyfriend. Gay Boy 2: Oh, totally..

6 train, Saturday, 10PM A trio of frat boys get on the crowded train dressed as the Three Blind Mice (mouse outfits, sunglasses, white canes.) Mouse 1: Dude, fix my tail.Mouse 2: I’ve told you to stop asking me to touch your tail.Mouse 1: Seriously, fix it. It’s hanging wrong. I can’t sit down.(Mouse 1 turns around to present his …

Duane Reade, 1st & 72nd, Thursday, 9PM A 20’s-ish goth chick, possibly homeless, definitely drug-addled, is singing a Suzanne Vega-ish stream-of-consciousness shopping song to herself. The final word of each line of her song is preceeded by a 2-second pause. I’m in the drug……store.But I don’t need….drugs.I need a soh….dah. (A woman walks past her.) There’s a lay…..dee.She’s buying hair…..spray.(I …

59th Street, 9am…..Woman 1: So I just looked her in the face and said “Fuuuuuck You!”Woman 2: Wow! Then what happened?Woman 1: She just shrugged and walked away. Sad.Woman 2: Yeah. “Fuck you” just has no power in this town anymore.Woman 1: Yeah, sad.Woman 2: Yeah..

Second Avenue In front of Trump Palace 8:30am Stroller-pushing nanny on cell: “I swear to fucking Jesus, if I have to sit through Dora The Explorer one more fucking time, I’m jumping right off the 40th floor. Right out the fucking window. RIGHT OUT! Adios, muchachos!”

Central Park, Sunday, 2pmCrazy homeless guy: “Stupid-ass ducks! Ain’t got no motherfucking sense, swimming around in that cold-ass water. Quack! Quack! Quackity fucking quack! You ain’t cool. You can’t even sit in no tree. Dumb-ass ducks!”.

Eagle roof deck, Sunday, 9pm Two guys are ogling the shirtless humpy new bartender…… Guy 1: I like his perfect chest hair distribution.Guy 2: That’s funny.Guy 1: What’s funny about chest hair?Guy 2: Wait, I thought you said you’d like to put him in a chair and abuse him?Guy 1: Chest hair distribution.Guy 2: Oh. Right.Guy 1: But your plan …