Tag Archives: loony tunes

Crazy Eyes: God May Destroy America Over Gay Marriage Just Like He Destroyed Sodom [AUDIO]

Brian Tashman has the quote: “When we raise our fist to a holy God and say that we are going to redefine marriage, we are going to be okay with paying a Planned Parenthood to cut up innocent baby parts and sell them for research, that clearly is a problem and as we have seen God render judgment in the …

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Loony Pastor Who Prayed For God To Murder Obama Says He Is Running For President As An Independent

Nutjob Pastor Wiley Drake says he is running for president as an independent. Via press release: “It’s time for the Judeo-Christian voice to be heard by our policy makers. They can try to kick the word of God out of politics, but they will never stop the voice of God through ‘We the People of the United States.’ We are …

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End Times Prophet Jonathan Cahn Rants About Gays At Family Research Council’s Duggar Fest [VIDEO]

Of all the crazy people that spoke at FRC’s Values Voter Summit this weekend, End Times “messianic” Rabbit Jonathan Cahn REALLY takes the loony cake. Watch as the crowd boos when Cahn flashes a photo of the White House bathed in rainbow lights, then tells them that SCOTUS and Obama have “desecrated” the rainbow, therefore God is going to kill …

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Louis Gohmert Has The Eric Fanning Sadz [AUDIO]

According to loony tune Rep. Louis Gohmert, having an openly gay head of the US Army will send a signal to the Muslim world that the United States endorses pedophilia. Seriously. Tony Perkins, of course, agrees.

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Hate Pastor James Manning Melts Down At Protesters: “You Sick Faggots And Lesbos Will Burn!” [VIDEO]

Hate Pastor James David Manning had a screaming, ranting meltdown on Tuesday night as Harlem Against Homophobia staged a protest outside his church. As activists chanted “Stop the hate now!” Manning climbed up on a chair to unleash some of his famous Christian Love™. “There is no salvation for butt-lickers and butt-bangers like you! You perverted faggots! You smell like rectums! …

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Paging The Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse

We’ll be SO disappointed if our favorite loony tunes End Times prognosticator doesn’t have a field day with this photo. In the meantime, they’re holding their sides over at Twitchy and other wingut sites.

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Huckabee: Obama Lied To Pope Francis About Religious Liberty Because Look At Kim Davis [VIDEO]

Shortly after President Obama told Pope Francis that the United States cherishes religious liberty, Mike Huckabee posted the above tweet with an attached Vine video which juxtaposes Obama’s words over the mugshot of Kim Davis. In other news, Huckabee knows what Vine is.

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Matt Barber: Gay Activists Will “Literally Kill You” Unless You Affirm Their “Pagan Sexuality” [AUDIO]

Liberty Counsel radio host Matt Barber, who regularly publishes columns by advocates for the death penalty for homosexuality, says that gays threaten to kill anybody who doesn’t affirm their “pagan sexuality.” Kyle Mantyla has the full quote at Right Wing Watch: “This whole saga,” he said, “is reminiscent of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19 … The …

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OKLAHOMA: Teacher Tells Four Year-Old That Being Left-Handed Is From Satan [VIDEO]

From Oklahoma City’s NBC affiliate: Zayde, like most kids in Pre-K, is learning how to read and write. And like his mom, Alisha, Zayde is a lefty. “From picking things up to throwing things, to batting, to writing, to just coloring you’d do at home with him, he’s always, always used his left hand,” Alisha Sands said. That was until …

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BarbWire: Doritos Makes Feces Taste Good

“Doritos has taken feces and anal sex to a whole new level– making it taste good. Left out in nearly all discussions about homosexuality is the reality that anal sex often infects people with E. coli bacterial infections, spreads sexually transmitted diseases, and can cause anal cavity bleeding and rupturing. Homosexual acts in part, involve one man inserting his sexual …

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Mat Staver Rants: God Will Punish The Supreme Court For Leading American Into The Pit Of Hell [VIDEO]

Over the last of few weeks the rest of America met Mat Staver as a creepy-eyed somber lawyer pleading for “reasonable” accommodations in measured tones. But as this video shows, the REAL Mat Staver is a ranting lunatic who promises that God will kill the fuck out of anybody who doesn’t submit to Christian sharia law.

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Wingnut Site: Doritos Are Now The Gateway Snack To Introduce Children To The Joys Of Homosexuality

“PepsiCo, who make Doritos (through subsidiary Frito-Lay), are producing a homosexual version of Doritos called ‘Rainbow Doritos.’ Doritos are a product marketed to children, so they make the perfect gateway snack to introduce children to the joys of homosexuality. The chips come in several colors. The green are homosexual, the pink are lesbian, and the purple ones are transgendered Doritos. …

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NORTH CAROLINA: Mayoral Candidate Cites Kim Davis In Campaign Promise To “Eradicate Homosexuals”

A man who has been diagnosed with having “religious hallucinations” has cited Kim Davis as the inspiration for his mayoral campaign promise to arrest gay men for the crime of sodomy. The Kings Mountain Herald reports: “In my administration I would do just like Mrs. Davis did in Kentucky,” said Holmes, referring to Kim Davis, the Rowan County, Ky., clerk …

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TENNESSEE: Husband Of Kim Davis Headlines Rally For Bill To Void Obergefell Ruling [VIDEO]

The husband of Kim Davis and Rafael Cruz, father of Ted Cruz, headlined a Nashville rally yesterday as lawmakers introduced a bill that seeks to void the Obergefell ruling. The Tennessean reports: “Natural marriage between one (1) man and one (1) woman as recognized by the people of Tennessee remains the law in Tennessee, regardless of any court decision to …

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Blood Moons + Iran Deal = God Kills Everybody

According to this video featuring lunatic Pastor John Hagee, God is lining up celestial objects in order to warn America that if the Iran deal is approved, he’s just gonna kill the fuck out of everybody. Hagee, you may recall, has declared that God sent Hurricane Katrina to destroy New Orleans because of Southern Decadence.

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Christian Post Columnist: One Day Kim Davis Will Be Forced To Issue Human/Robot Marriage Licenses

“Five far-left ideologues posing as Supreme Court Justices danced around the Constitution, arrogantly declaring their opinion a ruling on a law. They opined they know better than nature and Nature’s God in matters of marriage. And the next thing you know Kim Davis was in the slammer. I suppose then, we should overlook that it is unconstitutional for judges to …

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Columnist For Liberty Counsel’s Matt Barber: Gays Are Planning To Murder Faithful Christians

As we know, Liberty Counsel spokesman Matt Barber regularly uses his personal website to feature columnists who advocate for executing homosexuals. As a change of pace, today Barber publishes a column by some nutjob who claims that Christians are thisclose to being executed by gay people. Michael Bresciani writes: Starting with the persecution, fining and jailing of cake bakers and …

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Janet Porter: Fire “Activist” Shepard Smith [VIDEO]

Loony tunes evangelist and hilariously failed would-be social media maven Janet Porter has launched a campaign which calls on Fox News to fire anchor Shepard Smith for dissing Kim Davis.  Via BarbWire: While the tag line is “fair and balanced,” Fox New’s Shepard Smith’s coverage of Kentucky clerk Kim Davis, who was jailed for her faith, was more like “unfair …

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Pat Robertson: How To Speak In Tongues [VIDEO]

During today’s viewer questions segment, Pat Robertson gave advice on how to “surrender to authority” in order to be able to speak in tongues. Robertson: “You’re saying ‘fill me, fill me, fill me’ – then in the fullness of your spirit comes an unutterable gushing and bahalla klaatu barada nikto mushu eep opp ork ah-ah Jesus!”

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End Times To Begin Next Week (Or Not) [AUDIO]

End Times evangelist Jan Markell says that the pope’s visit, the so-called “blood moon”, the Jewish High Holy Days, and a bunch of other converging shit means that the End Times are definitely going to start next week or so. Unless they don’t. Markell reminds everybody about Harold Camping and cautions that she doesn’t want egg on her face if …

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