Tag Archives: loony tunes

Monster Energy Drinks Are From Satan

It’s all right there on the can, people! (Tipped by JMG reader Daddy Ray)

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Today In Crazy People

“President Palling Around With Terrorists: Good God, Mr. President. To partner with Iran is to trust the enemy, which is insane. Iran has complicity in the rise of ISIS as it supports radical militias and arms Islamic terrorists. You’ve been the luckiest man in the world, in an un-American Democracy sort of way, to have had the liberal media in …

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Harlem Hate Pastor: Starbucks’ Lattes Are “Flavored Up” With Semen Of Sodomites

“The semen flavors up the latte and makes you think you are having a good time drinking it!” Also, something about drinking the blood of innocent babies. Remember – this is the guy who hosts Porno Pete on his show.

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Scott Lively Gets 0.9% Of Vote

Crackpot Scott Lively earned 0.9% of the vote in the Massachusetts gubernatorial race, finishing just ahead of wealthy investment banker Jeff McCormick, who is reportedly not also crazy.

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Harlem Hate Pastor: My Prophecy That Putin Would Out Obama Has Come True

This one might even be crazier than last week’s “you’ll get ebola at Starbucks” rant. The last minute is something else.

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SOUTH CAROLINA: Motion To Intervene Claims Gay Marriage Would Force Man To Stop Worshipping The Lord

From local loony tune Don Boyd’s typos and misspellings-laden motion to intervene in the challenge to South Carolina’s ban on same-sex marriage: DON BOYD, MUSICIAN AND PSALMIST, Anointed and Assigned as a Watchmen of the souls of the people errantly calling themselves lesbian and gay WOULD PURSUE DISMISSAL of what is in essence and in truth a RELIGIOUS matter couched …

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Exorcism Of The Day

“The demons Jezebel and Mammon have worked together to torment Monica’s ancestors with witchcraft for 10 generations. Now, Monica’s whole family is about to get free!”

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How To Become An End Times Co-Prophet

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Pat Robertson: God Might Destroy Houston Because Of Mayor Annise Parker

Brian Tashman writes at Right Wing Watch: Last week, Pat Robertson reacted to a case in Houston in which a group of pastors were subpoenaed as part of the discovery process in a lawsuit over the city’s nondiscrimination ordinance by calling gay rights advocates “terrorists.” The subpoenas have since been withdrawn, but that has done nothing to rein in Robertson, …

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KANSAS: Crackpot Unruhs Try Again, File Amicus Brief Against Marriage Ban Repeal

The crackpot Kansas couple who were smacked down in their attempt to intervene in the Kansas marriage case are trying again, this time via an amicus brief which again claims that evil gays are trying to literally steal their marriage. Read the full brief from Phillip and Sandra Unruh at Equality Case Files.

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Harlem Hate Pastor: You Will Get Ebola If You Visit Starbucks Because Sodomites

(Tipped by JMG reader John)

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Danny Devito Is The Anti-Christ

Here’s the latest from the Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse and Co-Prophet Of The End Times. Not only is Danny Devito the anti-Christ, a red couch seen in the latest One Direction video “symbolizes the second horseman of the apocalypse.” Red furniture is from Satan.

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Jennifer LeClaire: Atheists On Twitter Are Trying To Stir Up Witches Against Me

“This may never happen to you, but I got a good laugh this week when some unbeliever – or perhaps someone who has been hurt deeply by the church – launched a miniature Twitter campaign trying to stir up witches against me. Needless to say, it didn’t work. When demonic activity is rising in a city, a sensitive Christian will …

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Rick Wiles: God Will Destroy America And The Survivors Will Be Slaves Of Sodomites

PREVIOUSLY ON JMG: Earlier this year Pastor Wiles declared that ebola can solve “America’s problems with gays and atheists.” Last year he declared that MSNBC viewers are “demon-possessed fans of the anti-Christ.” Also last year he declared that gay rights will bring about global nuclear war. And then there was that time he declared that God sent a plague of …

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KANSAS: Straight Couple Seeks To Intervene In Marriage Case Because Gays Literally Want To Steal Their Marriage

Phillip W. Unruh and Sandra L. Unruh today filed a motion to intervene in the ACLU’s marriage equality case in Kansas. As laid out in multiple points in their brief, the Unruhs declare that legalization of same-sex marriage would constitute the literal theft of their straight Christian marriage, a property which is guaranteed to belong only to them per the …

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Klayman: Obama Must Be Taken Alive

“I do not advocate violence, and I want Obama to be taken alive to be deported and pay for his inadequacies under the rule of law. But he must be forced from office as soon as possible, before all is lost. We the people simply cannot, and should not, take it anymore. These are not ordinary times. The nation is …

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Pastor Ron Baity: God Will Destroy USA With Super-Ebola Over Gay Marriage

Jeremy Hooper writes at Good As You: Pastor Ron Baity, the winner of the Family Research Council’s 2012 “Watchmen Award” for pastors, is a longtime marriage activist in the state of North Carolina. He’s led many major rallies at which all of the activists and lawmakers who have tried to keep the Tar Heel state discriminatory have shown up to …

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Larry Klayman Files Homeland Security Petition To Deport President Obama

Loony tunes teabagger Larry Klayman has filed a Homeland Security petition demanding the deportation of President Obama as an undocumented immigrant. And you though he couldn’t out-crazy himself. Klayman’s deportation request – mailed to three Department of Homeland Security officials – asks for an investigation and hearing into Obama’s citizenship status. If authorities ignore the request, Klayman intends to file …

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Rodney Howard-Brown: Obama Is Building Gas Chambers & Concentration Camps

Brian Tashman writes at Right Wing Watch: Televangelist Rodney Howard-Browne — who just two months ago led a Religious Right gathering featuring several GOP congressmen — claimed yesterday that the United States government is currently building concentration camps and gas chambers and preparing to institute martial law. Howard-Browne claimed that the U.S. government is now building concentration camps and gas …

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Christian Post: Madonna Is Working To Prepare The World For Satan

“Madonna doesn’t have an ego problem; she has a sin problem. And it’s getting worse. Unrepentant and hardened from sin, no amount of make-up or photo-shop can conceal the evil in her eyes. Ensnaring millions into a web of destruction, Madonna is preparing fans for a specific event. Using biblical discernment concerning the times in which we live, and her …

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