Tag Archives: loony tunes

Unhinged NRA Spox Dana Loesch Threatens To Fist The New York Times: We Are Coming For You [VIDEO]

Vice News reports: A spokeswoman for the NRA denied threatening to fist the New York Times — which she referred to as an “old gray hag” — in an officially sanctioned NRA video ostensibly promoting gun ownership. In the video, released by the NRA and entitled, “Dana Loesch: We’re Coming For You New York Times,” Loesch, the American conservative talk …

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James Woods Predicts Civil War If Trump Is Removed

Raging douchebag and faded Hollywood actor James Woods lit up his 750,000 Twitter followers last night by predicting civil war if Trump is removed from office thanks to those filthy unpatriotic Democrats. Woods last appeared here on JMG when he launched a homophobic attack on Anderson Cooper over Cooper’s now-legendary eye roll at Kellyanne Conway’s expense. Some of Woods’ fans …

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Michele Bachmann: Hate Crime Hotlines Are A Fascist Violation Of The Separation Of Church And State

Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: Former Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann was a guest on Jan Markell’s “Understanding The Times” radio program again last weekend, where she claimed that a hotline set up by the city of Minneapolis for reporting hate crimes was fascist and a violation of the separation of church and state. Last month, Minneapolis announced that …

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Linda Harvey: Satan Loves Anal Sex

Linda Harvey writes for World Net Daily: Anal sex is demonic. There’s no other way to understand it. Using the anus as a substitute vagina is a desire from the pit of hell. This is not cool. It’s sexual suicide and human depravity gone mainstream. The anus is not a genital, and of course, this act mocks the creation of …

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Jim Bakker Promotes New Line Of End Times Food Slop Buckets With Performance Of Staying Alive [VIDEO]

Jim Bakker has a new line of End Times survivalist slop buckets named “Staying Alive.” So naturally, this called for a Bee Gees cover performance. Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: “This show today is so important,” Bakker warned. “God woke me up and I felt the presence of God like I never felt and He said, ‘Jim, I …

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Trump: Except For The Late, Great Abraham Lincoln, I Can Be More Presidential Than Any President [VIDEO]

Speaking at his campaign rally in Youngtown, Ohio tonight, Trump told the crowd, “Sometimes they say, ‘He doesn’t act presidential.’ And I say, with the exception of the late, great Abraham Lincoln, I can be more presidential than any president that’s held this office. That I can tell you. It’s real easy.” Points for mentioning that Lincoln is dead, unlike …

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Michele Bachmann: It’s Beyond My Wildest Expectations How Trump Has Brought Prayer To The White House

“He is unashamed in standing up for increasing an awareness of God in the United States. He recognizes how important that is and that that is a basis of Western civilization. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I could not be more happy with what I am seeing coming out of the Trump White House. This is beyond my wildest …

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Townhall Columnist: One-Third Of US Officials Are Satanic Cannibals Who Drink The Blood Of Children

Townhall columnist and Pizzagate loony bird Liz Crokin is sounding the alarm about a Satanic ring of highly-placed government officials and Hollywood celebrities who are raping and murdering children and then drinking their blood. But Trump is stopping them! Secretly! Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: What is happening is “so abhorrent and so horrible and so unbelievable,” Crokin …

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Pastor Bad Wig Prays To Protect Trump From Witches, Jinxes, Strokes, And Demons That Jump Into Dogs

Nutjob Pastor Lance Wallnau, who recently claimed that angels literally dusted his face with gold flakes because he loves Donald Trump, has delivered an “intercessory prayer” against the spells, hexes, and jinxes all those witches have been casting against the president. Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: As Wallnau explained it, the prayers of Christians have protected Trump from …

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Man Who Sued To Marry His Laptop Sues US House Democrats Over Pride Flags Outside Their Offices

Remember the nutcase who sued Apple in 2013 because his computer didn’t block him from accessing the porn which ruined his marriage? And then in 2014 when he attempted to intervene in one of Florida’s same-sex marriage cases so that he could marry that porn-filled laptop? And then last year when he tried the same thing in Texas? And then …

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Voter Fraud Crackpot Kris Kobach: We May Never Know If Hillary Clinton Really Won The Popular Vote [VIDEO]

The Washington Examiner reports: The vice chair of President Trump’s voter fraud commission claims “we may never know” if Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. MSNBC host Katy Tur asked Kris Kobach on Wednesday if the commission exists because Trump thinks he would have won the popular vote if it weren’t for voter fraud. Clinton, the Democratic nominee, won the …

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Christian Site: Giant Sunspot Warns Us That One Horseman Of The Apocalypse Is Mounting Up [VIDEO]

Just the one? Charisma News, your full-service site for anti-witch tutorials, warns that Jesus might be coming back any day now because sunspots. They write: NASA says there is a massive sunspot on the surface of our sun that’s larger than planet Earth. The 75,000-mile-wide spot could rapidly turn into a solar flare and disrupt communications across the globe. The …

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Christian Homeschooler Tells Christian TV That Teen Vogue Broke The Law With Anal Sex Article [VIDEO]

Hemant Mehta reports at the Friendly Atheist: In an interview she just wrapped up with the Christian Broadcasting Network, “Activist Mommy” Elizabeth Johnston continued to rail against Teen Vogue for daring to publish an article explaining what anal sex is, how to have it safely (if that’s something you want to do), and that it’s okay to say no. Johnston …

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Prophetess Cindy Jacobs: I’ve Decreed That God Expose Terror Threats To The US In Jesus’ Name [VIDEO]

Safiyah Riddle reports at Right Wing Watch: Self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs received a message from God about the national security of the United States, announcing that she “decreed” that the Lord would “expose, expose, and expose” terrorist threats to the U.S. “in the name of Jesus.” These visions, according to Jacobs, are “an anointing and an authority and an intercession” …

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VIRAL VIDEO: Homeschooling Christian Mother Of 10 Burns Teen Vogue Over An Article About Anal Sex

Hemant Mehta writes at the Friendly Atheist: Elizabeth Johnston, a homeschooling Christian mother of 10 who goes by the name “The Activist Mommy” online, is furious that Teen Vogue has an article in its June issue about how to have anal sex. Because how dare a magazine educate her children?! She tries very hard to keep them in a bubble, …

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Christian Activist Matt Barber Calls On Trump To Fire Every Federal Worker Who Isn’t A Right Wing Christian

Hate radio host and Christian activist Matt Barber thinks Trump should fire every government employee who is not a conservative Christian. Nabi Dressler reports at Right Wing Watch: “The atheists, the secularists, the church-state separatists, the anti-Christian segregationists, they have infiltrated Washington, D.C., at the deepest levels,” Barber said, urging Trump to drain the swamp of “these Obama secularist, atheist …

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Trump Promises Pat Robertson: You’ll Be Able To Start Saying “Merry Christmas” Again Very Soon [VIDEO]

The Washington Free Beacon reports: President Donald Trump told televangelist Pat Robertson in a new interview airing Thursday that he will make it safe to say “Merry Christmas” once he brings America “back.” After Trump decried how the media treats him, Robertson, the “700 Club” host and Christian Broadcasting Network founder, asked the president if he is going to pivot …

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“Prophet” Mark Taylor: Trump Has Secretly Imprisoned 3000 “Elite Pedophiles” And Hillary Is Next [VIDEO]

“Firefighter prophet” Mark Taylor, currently the darling of extremist Christian sites like World Net Daily and a regular on Jim Bakker’s show, is claiming that Trump has secretly imprisoned 3000 “elite pedophiles” and that Hillary Clinton is next. Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: “Divine justice is being poured out right now,” Taylor said. “3,000 elite pedophiles have been arrested …

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Right Wing Site: God Hates Renewable Energy

Joy Overbeck writes for Townhall: God is likely very pro-carbon since the coal, oil, gas, and water power He gave us took His humans out of their caves and huts, transforming their meager camping-out-all-the-time existence into the miracle of modern prosperity. Carbon fuels have introduced us, via electricity, to the joys of cooking, heating, air conditioning, dishwashers, microwaves, flat screen …

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Pastor Bad Wig Prays For God To “Take His Sword Out From Heaven” And Smite Trump’s Enemies [VIDEO]

Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: Donald Trump–loving right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau posted a video on his Facebook page last week in which he called on God to take His “sword out from heaven” and use it to deal with Trump’s enemies. “I love this guy,” Wallnau said after heaping praise on Trump for “talking about God all over …

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