Tag Archives: loony tunes

Televangelists Summon “Supernatural Inoculation” To Cure The World Of Coronavirus In Jesus’ Name [VIDEO]

“It’s being contained in Europe and Heavenly Father, it’s being contained in various parts of the world. While they say cases are popping up, we speak a holy containment and a quarantine by the Holy Spirit to go across the land. “And we say, ‘Lord, Let the angels of the most high go forth to be commissioned, to walk, and …

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Christian Activist Wonders If The NFL’s Pornographic Halftime Show Opened A Demonic Portal Into His Brain

“What if there is a demonic spirit that accompanies the visual of the pornography? What if that opens up, what do they call it? A portal? A threshold? What if sitting there, watching that soft pornography dance across our TVs, what if there’s a spiritual component to that? “What if there is something that comes out of my screen? What …

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Televangelist: God Told Me He’ll Protect America From The Coronavirus Because Trump Honors Israel [VIDEO]

“Listen to the words that I speak to you at this moment, says the Living God. Why do you fear, United States? For I have spoke to you before, and I speak to you again. I have extended and opened a window of mercy to this nation at this time. Therefore the virus that they speak of, the prognostication, the …

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Christian Activist Calls Off “Faggots Are Maggots Tour” Because Other Hate Group Leaders Want No Part Of It

A sad update from Christian activist Mike Heath: For a bit over a week I’ve been salting my COLUMNS with the english words “faggot” and “maggot.” I started doing it with a promise that I’d do a World Tour because it is a fact that Faggots are Maggots. I probably won’t do the Tour. Not because I don’t want to …

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Christian Radio Host: Leftists Hate Trump Because He’s So Masculine While Obama Was “Light In The Loafers”

“I’m convinced that a lot of this criticism of the president also has to do with his masculinity. He’s a man, and you know the left doesn’t like manhood. I think the president, frankly, is just too much of a man for them. They just don’t like manhood, and I think that’s part of the problem too—the radical feminists, the …

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Christian Activist Seeks “Wealthy Christian” To Fund Lawsuit Against NFL For Pumping Porn Into His Home

Just in from Christian web host Dave Daubenmire: Most Christian ministries put on band aids. They wipe noses, clean up after disasters, and help the wounded. But do we ever CAUSE any wounds? Do we ever go on the offensive? Do we ever put the FEAR OF GOD into the enemy? Do we ever cause them to bleed? I’m looking …

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Christian Activist Wants To Sue The NFL Because Their Halftime Show’s “Crotch Shots” Endangered His Soul

“I think we ought to sue. Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son—whose hormones are just starting to operate – was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?  “I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom …

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Christian Site: An Asteroid Will Kill Us All In 2029

Charisma News, the site best known here for its anti-witchcraft tutorials, its claim that the lifespan of gays is shortened by 20 years, its warning that burning breakfast eggs can summon demons, and its declaration that yoga is white witchcraft, today weighs in on an asteroid apocalypse. After decades of pastoring, preaching and expositing on the Bible, it was only …

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Christian Site: Demonic Spirits Make You Watch Porn

Charisma News, the site best known here for its anti-witchcraft tutorials, its claim that the lifespan of gays is shortened by 20 years, its warning that burning breakfast eggs can summon demons, and its declaration that yoga is white witchcraft, today has a message about porn: Familiar spirits are a driving force behind pornography and lustful spirits. Familiar spirits keep …

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Kanye West: Satan Controls Christian Radio Stations

The Christian Post reports: Kanye West said God has given him a platform to address the “beef” he’s seeing in the Christian community, specifically Christian radio stations not playing both gospel and contemporary Christian music — including songs from his album — which has created a division between white and black artists. “Look, Jesus died for our sins! It’s simple. …

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Rick Perry: Trump Was Chosen By God To “Rule And Judge Over Us On This Planet In Our Government”

Newsweek reports: Fox News  on Sunday showed a preview of an interview in which soon-to-depart Secretary of Energy Rick Perry said Donald Trump was God’s “chosen one” to be president of the United States. In the interview conducted as Trump faces an impeachment inquiry, Perry implied that Trump is imperfect and that is fine. “God’s used imperfect people all through …

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AUSTRALIA: Rugby Star Fired For Homophobic Posts Says God Sent Fatal Wildfires Over Same-Sex Marriage

The BBC reports: Rugby player Israel Folau has drawn anger for linking Australia’s bushfire crisis to the nation’s same-sex marriage and abortion laws. Folau, who was sacked by Australia in May for making anti-gay remarks on social media, described the fires as a “little taste of God’s judgement”. Six people have died since last month in blazes raging in eastern …

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Ohio GOP Passes New Law: Students Get Credit For Wrong Answers If Their Reasoning Is Based On Jesus

Cincinnati’s CBS affiliate reports: Ohio lawmakers are weighing in on how public schools can teach things like evolution. The Ohio House on Wednesday passed the “Student Religious Liberties Act.” Under the law, students can’t be penalized if their work is scientifically wrong as long as the reasoning is because of their religious beliefs. Instead, students are graded on substance and …

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Four #QAnon Nutbags Are Running For The US House

NBC News reports: At first glance, Matthew Lusk’s campaign signs look like any other Republican candidate’s. On one side, they read, “Matthew Lusk for Congress,” and “Putting America First.” But as he flipped the signs over while loading them into a hatchback near his home in Florida earlier this year, he pointed out a detail pasted on the back of …

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Christian Site: Satan Wants To Murder Kanye West

“The devil would love to make a martyr out of Kanye. Clearly, he’s doing damage to both the kingdom of darkness and the religious structure. He has the potential to spoil hell’s plans for many who have looked up to him as a gifted entertainer. He’s bold as a lion and doesn’t seem to fear man, devil or beast. “At …

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Evangelist: Halloween Demons “Curse You In Advance”

“Anton LaVey, the founder of Satanism, says he loves it when Christian parents dress their kids up for Halloween, because in the spiritual realm, there’s just no differentiating between dressing them up as a spider or a goblin or dressing them up as an angel or a biblical character to the demonic realm that has made it its mission to …

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Michele Bachman: We’ve Never Had A President With “Greater Moral Clarity” Than We Do With Donald Trump

DeadState reports: In an appearance on Tony Perkins’ Washington Watch program this Tuesday, former Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann discussed the Democrats’ “fake, phony” impeachment inquiry currently targeting President Trump. “This is such a pathetic joke,” Bachmann said. “They have no candidate on the Democrat side for 2020 that they can get excited about. They have no message, they have no …

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Evangelist: Hillary Will Be In Handcuffs By Christmas

“This woman is not going to make it past Christmas without being in handcuffs. I don’t think God created her to be president. I have no doubts that her god had plans for her to be president, but my God has no plans for her being president. “There is a god of this earth called the devil. I don’t say …

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Kanye: I Got A $68M Tax Refund Because I Love Jesus

“As humbly as I can put it, He’s using me to show off. Last year, I made $115 million and still ended up $35 million in debt. This year, I looked up, and I just got $68 million returned to me on my tax returns. And people say, ‘Oh, don’t talk about these numbers.’ No, people need to hear someone …

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Christian TV Host: If Trump Is Removed From Office His Supporters Will Violently Hunt Down Those Responsible

“If they take him out, there is going to be violence in America. There are people in this country—veterans, cowboys, mountain men, guys that know how to fight—and they’re going to make a decision that the people that did this to Donald Trump are not going to get away with it and they’re going to hunt them down. “I’m serious. …

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