Tag Archives: loony tunes

Christian Site: There’s Going To Be Upheaval In The Streets Of America But Angels Will Protect Christians

Just in from loony tunes Charisma News: Prophet Thomas Otranto [photo] says God gave him dreams about what’s coming regarding the election season and the COVID-19 coronavirus. He says God prepared Trump for an economic crash, which he is going to revive. But in the meantime, there will be chaos, and angels will protect Christians, he says. “I had a …

Read More »

Scamvangelist Calls For Fasting In Order To “Stretch Out God’s Rod Of Authority And Rebuke The Virus”

Just in from the loony tunes Charisma News: Intercessory leader Lou Engle is calling the global church to a three-day “Esther Fast” in order “to take a stand against the destructive spread of the coronavirus,” he says in a newsletter. The purpose of the fast March 18-20 is “to humble ourselves, confess our sins and the sins of our nation …

Read More »

Pastor Jazz Hands: It’s Repent Of LGBT Sin Month

Via press release from Christian Newswire: Why should people repent of LGBT sin? “God’s love shows it is urgent to repent, because the Bible teaches homosexuals lose their souls and God destroys LGBT societies,” said Steven Andrew. “Obeying God protects the USA from diseases, such as the Coronavirus.” These are reasons why Andrew declared March as “Repent of LGBT Sin …

Read More »

Televangelists Summon “Supernatural Inoculation” To Cure The World Of Coronavirus In Jesus’ Name [VIDEO]

“It’s being contained in Europe and Heavenly Father, it’s being contained in various parts of the world. While they say cases are popping up, we speak a holy containment and a quarantine by the Holy Spirit to go across the land. “And we say, ‘Lord, Let the angels of the most high go forth to be commissioned, to walk, and …

Read More »

Christian Activist Wonders If The NFL’s Pornographic Halftime Show Opened A Demonic Portal Into His Brain

“What if there is a demonic spirit that accompanies the visual of the pornography? What if that opens up, what do they call it? A portal? A threshold? What if sitting there, watching that soft pornography dance across our TVs, what if there’s a spiritual component to that? “What if there is something that comes out of my screen? What …

Read More »

Televangelist: God Told Me He’ll Protect America From The Coronavirus Because Trump Honors Israel [VIDEO]

“Listen to the words that I speak to you at this moment, says the Living God. Why do you fear, United States? For I have spoke to you before, and I speak to you again. I have extended and opened a window of mercy to this nation at this time. Therefore the virus that they speak of, the prognostication, the …

Read More »

Christian Activist Calls Off “Faggots Are Maggots Tour” Because Other Hate Group Leaders Want No Part Of It

A sad update from Christian activist Mike Heath: For a bit over a week I’ve been salting my COLUMNS with the english words “faggot” and “maggot.” I started doing it with a promise that I’d do a World Tour because it is a fact that Faggots are Maggots. I probably won’t do the Tour. Not because I don’t want to …

Read More »

Christian Radio Host: Leftists Hate Trump Because He’s So Masculine While Obama Was “Light In The Loafers”

“I’m convinced that a lot of this criticism of the president also has to do with his masculinity. He’s a man, and you know the left doesn’t like manhood. I think the president, frankly, is just too much of a man for them. They just don’t like manhood, and I think that’s part of the problem too—the radical feminists, the …

Read More »

Christian Activist Seeks “Wealthy Christian” To Fund Lawsuit Against NFL For Pumping Porn Into His Home

Just in from Christian web host Dave Daubenmire: Most Christian ministries put on band aids. They wipe noses, clean up after disasters, and help the wounded. But do we ever CAUSE any wounds? Do we ever go on the offensive? Do we ever put the FEAR OF GOD into the enemy? Do we ever cause them to bleed? I’m looking …

Read More »

Christian Activist Wants To Sue The NFL Because Their Halftime Show’s “Crotch Shots” Endangered His Soul

“I think we ought to sue. Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son—whose hormones are just starting to operate – was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?  “I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom …

Read More »

Christian Site: An Asteroid Will Kill Us All In 2029

Charisma News, the site best known here for its anti-witchcraft tutorials, its claim that the lifespan of gays is shortened by 20 years, its warning that burning breakfast eggs can summon demons, and its declaration that yoga is white witchcraft, today weighs in on an asteroid apocalypse. After decades of pastoring, preaching and expositing on the Bible, it was only …

Read More »

Christian Site: Demonic Spirits Make You Watch Porn

Charisma News, the site best known here for its anti-witchcraft tutorials, its claim that the lifespan of gays is shortened by 20 years, its warning that burning breakfast eggs can summon demons, and its declaration that yoga is white witchcraft, today has a message about porn: Familiar spirits are a driving force behind pornography and lustful spirits. Familiar spirits keep …

Read More »

Kanye West: Satan Controls Christian Radio Stations

The Christian Post reports: Kanye West said God has given him a platform to address the “beef” he’s seeing in the Christian community, specifically Christian radio stations not playing both gospel and contemporary Christian music — including songs from his album — which has created a division between white and black artists. “Look, Jesus died for our sins! It’s simple. …

Read More »

Rick Perry: Trump Was Chosen By God To “Rule And Judge Over Us On This Planet In Our Government”

Newsweek reports: Fox News  on Sunday showed a preview of an interview in which soon-to-depart Secretary of Energy Rick Perry said Donald Trump was God’s “chosen one” to be president of the United States. In the interview conducted as Trump faces an impeachment inquiry, Perry implied that Trump is imperfect and that is fine. “God’s used imperfect people all through …

Read More »

AUSTRALIA: Rugby Star Fired For Homophobic Posts Says God Sent Fatal Wildfires Over Same-Sex Marriage

The BBC reports: Rugby player Israel Folau has drawn anger for linking Australia’s bushfire crisis to the nation’s same-sex marriage and abortion laws. Folau, who was sacked by Australia in May for making anti-gay remarks on social media, described the fires as a “little taste of God’s judgement”. Six people have died since last month in blazes raging in eastern …

Read More »

Ohio GOP Passes New Law: Students Get Credit For Wrong Answers If Their Reasoning Is Based On Jesus

Cincinnati’s CBS affiliate reports: Ohio lawmakers are weighing in on how public schools can teach things like evolution. The Ohio House on Wednesday passed the “Student Religious Liberties Act.” Under the law, students can’t be penalized if their work is scientifically wrong as long as the reasoning is because of their religious beliefs. Instead, students are graded on substance and …

Read More »

Four #QAnon Nutbags Are Running For The US House

NBC News reports: At first glance, Matthew Lusk’s campaign signs look like any other Republican candidate’s. On one side, they read, “Matthew Lusk for Congress,” and “Putting America First.” But as he flipped the signs over while loading them into a hatchback near his home in Florida earlier this year, he pointed out a detail pasted on the back of …

Read More »

Christian Site: Satan Wants To Murder Kanye West

“The devil would love to make a martyr out of Kanye. Clearly, he’s doing damage to both the kingdom of darkness and the religious structure. He has the potential to spoil hell’s plans for many who have looked up to him as a gifted entertainer. He’s bold as a lion and doesn’t seem to fear man, devil or beast. “At …

Read More »

Evangelist: Halloween Demons “Curse You In Advance”

“Anton LaVey, the founder of Satanism, says he loves it when Christian parents dress their kids up for Halloween, because in the spiritual realm, there’s just no differentiating between dressing them up as a spider or a goblin or dressing them up as an angel or a biblical character to the demonic realm that has made it its mission to …

Read More »

Michele Bachman: We’ve Never Had A President With “Greater Moral Clarity” Than We Do With Donald Trump

DeadState reports: In an appearance on Tony Perkins’ Washington Watch program this Tuesday, former Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann discussed the Democrats’ “fake, phony” impeachment inquiry currently targeting President Trump. “This is such a pathetic joke,” Bachmann said. “They have no candidate on the Democrat side for 2020 that they can get excited about. They have no message, they have no …

Read More »