Tag Archives: loony tunes

Bachmann Blames COVID On Plan To Divide Jerusalem

“On Jan, 28, 2020, a plan was revealed that envisioned a dividing of the covenant land and a division of Jerusalem. Since that time, we have seen nothing but distress. The Bible speaks of that in Zechariah: Anyone who burdens themselves with a division of Jerusalem will be cut themselves upon a rock and nations will be destroyed. “Jerusalem is …

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GOP House Candidate: George Floyd Murder Was Fake

Salon reports: A Republican candidate for the U.S. House from Missouri published a 23-page report which falsely claims to show that George Floyd’s killing was a “deepfake” hoax. Winnie Heartstrong, who reportedly has a good chance of winning the Republican Party’s nomination in August to challenge incumbent Rep. Lacy Clay, D-Mo., has repeatedly claimed on Twitter that Floyd’s death in …

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Christian Site: You Have The Power To Raise The Dead

“Revivalist” Derrick Gates writes for Charisma News: I remember the first time God used me to raise someone from the dead. My wife and I had just sat down to enjoy dinner on a date night when I watched two men walk in the door. God immediately marked one of them in my Spirit. I didn’t know what it was, …

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100 Million Angels Assigned To Guard GOP Convention

“We’re going to train you during the Republican National Convention how to command strategically the army assigned to you, when to send them and what to declare for them to do. “During this convention there will be no violence involved. We don’t want any violence, any interference, not in any area of society or in the natural (?) whatsoever that …

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Evangelical Partners With God To End Marriage Equality

“The world is not going to put people in places of authority that fear the Lord  They’re not gonna put people that are pro life, pro traditional marriage, pro Israel, pro conservative judges. They’re not going to do that. It’s gonna take the church of the living God to do that. So don’t give me your political jargon. I’m partnering …

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Eugene Delgaudio: It’s Now LMNOP+ Month [VIDEO]

A break from the news courtesy of reliably crazy Eugene: Public Advocate demonstrated in Lafayette Park (photo), where President Trump spoke in front of a boarded up church Bible in hand, in support of LMNOP Month, in front of the White House. The area has a giant 10-foot fence installed but Public Advocate posted a video announcing a new project …

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Christian Site: COVID-19 Is A “Demonic Python Spirit”

Just in from batshit central Charisma News: Apostle James Alford isn’t buying into theories that say God brought COVID-19 to the earth these past few months as a judgment. From what the Lord has told him, the pandemic is “wholly from the realm of the demonic.” “This coronavirus wasn’t from Him. The Lord gave me three different devils that are …

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Christian Site: Demons Are Causing Deaths By COVID

From the always reasonable Charisma News: Demonic causes of illness are more common today than purely physical ones, apostle Jay Caprietta says on the Kingdom Authority With James Alford podcast on the Charisma Podcast Network. “Today, today we are dealing with an alleged pandemic called COVID-19. Corona, by the way, means ‘crown.’ COVID-19 has attached to it a spirit of …

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NC Lockdown Protest Leader Diagnosed With COVID

Raleigh’s CBS News affiliate reports: A leader of the ReOpen NC group revealed in a Facebook post that she tested positive for COVID-19. Audrey Whitlock posted to the ReOpen NC Facebook page early Sunday saying her two-week quarantine was ending. She described herself as an “an asymptomatic COVID19 positive patient.” Whitlock is one of the administrators of the ReOpen NC …

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GOP Georgia Gov Calls For Anti-COVID Prayer Vigil

“Our unprecedented battle with COVID-19 has proven the resolve of the people of Georgia to fight hard, come together, and do what is necessary to stop the spread of the virus. “While we cannot all be together right now, we can join with one another in prayer for our frontline healthcare workers, first responders, law enforcement, business owners, local leaders, …

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Red-Caped Catholic Loons: COVID Is God’s Punishment For Sins Of Sodomy, Abortion, Pornography, Adultery

Just in from Tradition, Family, & Property: Never ask progressive theologians if the coronavirus is a chastisement. They will always find some kind of class struggle cause for catastrophes. Greedy people oppressing poor people cause disasters. Systemic social structures create misfortunes. Abuse of “Mother Earth” leads to eco-catastrophes. Besides, the notions of sin and hell are fuzzy to these modern …

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FBI Busts Man Claiming To Be Q Of #QAnon Batshittery

Will Sommer reports at The Daily Beast: In the bizarre world of QAnon conspiracy theorists, 29-year-old Austin Steinbart was a rising star. A segment of the pro-Trump conspiracy theory group believed he was the mysterious “Q,” the anonymous internet figure whose clues have convinced a portion of the president’s base that Donald Trump is engaged in a shadowy war against …

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Roseanne: COVID Is Designed To “Get Rid Of Boomers”

Salon reports: Roseanne Barr recently posited a wacky theory that the coronavirus pandemic is an effort to eliminate baby boomers like herself. “You know what it is, Norm? I think they’re just trying to get rid of all my generation,” Barr told Macdonald during the Sunday interview on his informal YouTube talk show “Quarantined with Norm Macdonald,” in which he …

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OHIO: Woman Isn’t Worried About Attending Church Because She’s “Covered In The Blood Of Jesus” [VIDEO]

The Friendly Atheist reports: While plenty of churches are hosting online services, CNN interviewed a handful of people in Ohio who explained why they are still attending Solid Rock Church in the city of Warren. The answers are as ignorant and self-absorbed as you can expect. One woman answered, “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” When asked if she was concerned …

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Televangelist: Jesus Can Turn Off Your Virus “Receptors”

“We were promised that no sickness would even come nigh our dwelling. And Daniel, something I’ve been studying just in the last couple of days, based on all of this, was Exodus 23:25, and that verse says that you shall serve the Lord, your God, and he shall take all sickness away away from the midst of thee. “And I …

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Evangelical Group: “Mini-Robot Rats” Implanted In WH Staffers Made Them Talk Trump Out Of Easter Reopen

“I had a dream about some rats in the White House. They were like mini-robots being implanted within individuals, controlled by remote. “I knew that these rats were going after good people to make them compromise the truth for political gain. I urged intercessors to pray that these rats would be exposed, the connections short-circuited, and the remotes cut off. …

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“Messianic Rabbi” Warns Against COVID Vaccine: It Will Be From The “Pit Of Hell” And The Mark Of The Beast

“Do not pray, do not hope, do not think, ‘Oh, praise God they are going to have a vaccine. That vaccine is from the pit of Hell. Do not pray for those vaccines, and do not take the vaccine. “These vaccines are going to be coming, they are not going to be good. They’re not good for you physically, and …

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Megachurches Continue To Hold Services Because The Coronavirus Is A “Politically Motivated” Hoax [VIDEO]

Bloomberg News reports: Congregants of megachurches in Louisiana, Ohio and Florida attended services in defiance of social distancing orders on Sunday morning, even as politicians and doctors took to weekly news shows to warn of coronavirus’s spread in the U.S. In Louisiana, which has seen a spike in cases and has a shelter-in-place order, the Life Tabernacle Church in the …

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Prophetess Orders “Every Disease, Virus, And Pandemic To Be Utterly Abolished From Infiltrating Human Bodies”

“I destroy and completely abolish every demonic system set in operation against the financial system of the U.S. and the world. Every evil perpetrator trying to extinguish monetary success and economic abundance, I rebuke you and diffuse your plans and purposes against our economy. “I command every disease agent, virus and pandemic to be utterly abolished, completely done. I order, …

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Jim Bakker Guest: Virus Is God’s Anger At Fornication

Kyle Mantyla reports at Right Wing Watch: End Times pastor Irvin Baxter appeared on “The Jim Bakker Show” yesterday, where he warned that the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak is a warning from God about the sin of fornication. “There are 7.5 million unmarried couples living together in the United States,” Baxter said. “That means 15 million people are living together unmarried, …

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