Tag Archives: Jeebus

NOM Supporters In DC: The United States Government Is Under Satan’s Power

I believe this is the conversation that we could hear in the background during NOM’s live stream from DC on Sunday. (Via Alvin McEwen at Pam’s House Blend)

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Pastor Olden Thornton: Jeebus Is Coming Back To Fuck A Woman, Not A Man!

North Carolina televangelist Olden Thornton wants you to know that when Zombie Jeebus returns from the dead, he’s coming for a bride. Just in case you were wondering. Thornton is a part of a new anti-gay group pushing for a voter referendum on marriage equality in North Carolina. (Via – Good As You)

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Alliance Defense Fund Calls For Prayers: Please Jeebus, Let Us Keep Prop 8

(Tipped by JMG reader Mark)

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Concerned Women Are Concernified About God Recalling Defective Homosexuals

Concerned Women for America’s Tamara Scott at NOM’s Hate Tour in Des Moines: “I’d rather have man mad at me than be a stench in the nostrils of God Almighty.” Because God just might recall all those defective homosexuals, just like Toyota did for cars with faulty brakes. Or something.

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Tweet Of The Day – James Hartline

“Ex-gay” mental patient James Hartline is calling on his “followers” to join him in a 24-hour fast today so that Jeebus will prevent the San Diego City Council from issuing its annual gay pride proclamation.

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BREAKING: God Smites Jeebus

Yesterday a six-story statue of Jesus in Monroe, Ohio was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. The “King of Kings” statue, one of southwest Ohio’s most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati. The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m., Monroe …

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Christian Groups Launch Preemptive Strike Against Comedy Central’s Jesus Show

Comedy Central is considering green-lighting a proposed animated show about Jesus Christ. And Christian groups are already gearing up for a boycott of advertisers. Via the American Family Association: Christian groups are rising up as a team to oppose a new Comedy Central program that denigrates Jesus. The main character of the animated project is Jesus, who lives in New …

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Quote Of The Day – Bryan Fischer

“I was asked by a caller Thursday whether Jesus would, if he were governor, sign the Arizona immigration law. ‘In a heartbeat,’ I answered. Why, I asked rhetorically? ‘Because of his compassion.’ This compassion is for the citizens of Arizona who are subject to home invasions, out-of-control drug trafficking, human smuggling, the constant threat of kidnappings, and a $2.7 billion …

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Jews For Jesus Founder Dies

Moishe Rosen, founder of the controversial group Jews For Jesus, died this week at the age of 78. Jews for Jesus was officially founded by Mr. Rosen in San Francisco in 1973. In the decades since, its missionaries have been a familiar presence on street corners in cities around the United States and elsewhere. Mr. Rosen was the group’s first …

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Jeebus Was A Teabagger

According to World Net Daily’s Molotov Mitchell, Jeebus wasn’t the “sissy metrosexual” depicted in religious paintings. No, he was a man’s man, baby, a regular He-Man with a sword! In fact, Jeebus was a “blue-collar rightwing extremist radical” and fervent capitalist who fought against big government and taxes. Why, if he were alive today, right now he’d be holed up …

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Lord Jesus Christ Hit By Car

But it’s OK. He is arisen. A 20-year-old Pittsfield driver was cited by police Tuesday after she ran down Lord Jesus Christ in a marked crosswalk at Main Street and Strong Avenue, police said. Brittany E. Cantarella was cited for a crosswalk violation, said Northampton police Capt. Scott Savino. Christ, 50, of Belchertown, was taken to Cooley Dickinson Hospital for …

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Jeebus In The Pizza Sauce! Praise!

A pizzeria worker in Pennsylvania says that she’s been blessed by appearance of Jeebus in a plastic tub of tomato sauce. When Mary Louise Salerno saw Jesus Christ in a bucket of pizza sauce, her instinct was not to alert the media or even to tell many friends. She did not want people descending on her family’s West Scranton pizzeria, …

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Eat, For This Is My Chalupa

The image of Jeebus appeared in the flatbread of a man in the UK, who promptly turned it into a Body-O-Christ panini. I kid, I kid. He’s selling it on eBay. Of course! Too bad for the woman in Florida who saw Jeebus in a bruise on her arm. Used arms are really hard to move on eBay.

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Jesus Wrote The Constitution, The Remix

Someone very clever has created a parody version of John McNaughton’s One Nation Under God interactive portrait. A sample: “Professor: He’s holding tight to his copy of Charles Darwin’s Origin Of Species, which none of the people in this image has read, but they heard things about it on Fox News, so!”

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It Begins

The literal deification of Michael Jackson has begun. A Stockton family says the image of Michael Jackson appeared on his tree stump the day the King of Pop died. Like the “Virgin Grilled Mary” or “Cheesus,” the family thinks they’ve got an unusual spiritual image staring right at them from their own front yard. Felix Garcia has lived in the …

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Obama More Admired Than Jesus

According to a new Harris Poll (PDF), Barack Obama is now the person most admired by Americans, pushing Jesus Christ into an inglorious second place. Respondents were allow to provide up to three names and those polled supplied their answers spontaneously; they were not given a list of names to choose from. Somehow Dubya, at #5, beat out God at …

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Tomorrow: 70,000 Wingnuts To Descend On San Diego To Battle Gay Marriage

Man, that is one scary voice. From the Mercury-News: For Proposition 8 supporters who feel the ballot measure is a line in the sand defending “traditional marriage” as being only between a man and a woman, the stakes are just as high. “This vote on whether we stop the gay-marriage juggernaut in California is Armageddon,” Charles Colson, the former Nixon …

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Worshipping The Golden Calf

Christianists love money as much as Jeebus, so much so that some of them gathered at the Wall Street bull statue today at the behest of Prosperity Gospeletta, aka Cindy Jacobs. Cindy is calling for a Day of Prayer for the World’s Economies on Wednesday, October 29, 2008. They are calling for prayer for the stock markets, banks, and financial …

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California: Christianists Call For Statewide Fast Against Marriage Equality

This is the madness that we’re up against. Pastors across California and the nation have called upon hundreds of congregations to pray and forego solid food until Proposition 8 is passed. Hundreds of pastors have called on their congregations to fast and pray for passage of a ballot measure in November that would put an end to gay marriage in …

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Palin Gets Protection From Witchcraft

Via YouTuber NY Progressive: “In this new video, available only as of today (September 23, 2008), Sarah Palin is shown accepting a special supernatural protection from witchcraft from Thomas Muthee, who also promoted Palin’s campaign for Governor as a way to infiltrate the government with the right wing religious agenda of the Assembly of God. Really crazy stuff!” If the …

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