Tag Archives: Cindy Jacobs

Cindy Jacobs is on God’s speed dial and since they are BFFs, he totally redirects hurricanes, thwarts terrorist attacks, and shrinks tumors at her request. And because he follows her on Facebook, God had special insider information for Cindy for when she spoke in Baltimore this weekend. Bonus points if you can make it through the full two shrieking minutes. …

PREVIOUSLY ON JMG: Cindy Jacobs prays away her own tumor. God tells Cindy Jacobs that he’s going to punish America for gay marriage. Cindy Jacobs prays away a terrorist sleeper cell. Cindy Jacobs prays away mental illness (but only in others). Cindy Jacobs prays away a car crash that would have killed David Barton. Cindy Jacobs’ daughter prays away a …

“It was behind my female organs. Or whatever.”

But tragically, her prayers only work other people.

With bonus tongue-speaking by Cindy Jacobs!

“Rebuke this storm in Jesus’ name. The authority of the believer is powerful enough to shift weather patterns! (Matthew 17:20). Declare that the Prince of Peace reigns over this hurricane, and that His peace will cause the storm to diminish. (Isaiah 9:6).  Pray that this storm will not disrupt our Reformation Day prayer initiatives in the eastern states. (Isaiah 54:17).  …

Thousands of Christianists rallied in downtown Philadelphia yesterday where notorious hate group leaders exhorted the crowd to declare that America belongs to Jesus. Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson and Family Research Council president Tony Perkins topped a full day of speakers at “The America for Jesus 2012” prayer rally. Robertson, a former Republican candidate for president, called the election important, but …