Tag Archives: Benedict Palpatine

Once upon a time, Joseph Ratzinger had an organ donor card. But now that’s he’s the pope, his organs are too holy to transplant. In 1999, six years before he was elected to the papacy, then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger disclosed that he always carried an organ donor’s card with him and encouraged the practice as “an act of love.” Vatican …

Emperor Palpatine yesterday issued yet another attack on same-sex marriage, saying that the effort to legalize gay unions “perverts” the meaning of the word “family.” Addressing officials from the city of Rome and the Italian region of Lazio, Pope Benedict said that legislation and policies that promote same-sex unions end up “penalizing” heterosexual couples, “who, not without effort, seek to …

Emperor Palpatine has waived the traditional five year post-death waiting period and is moving to have Pope John Paul II named a saint. Because he was a miracle worker. Literally. The pope on Friday signed off on the miracle needed to beatify Pope John Paul II, and set May 1 as the date to honor one of the most beloved …

Yesterday Pope Benedict spoke via satellite from the Vatican to bless the hundreds of thousands gathered at a massive annual anti-gay marriage rally in Madrid. The rally was sponsored by the Archdiocese of Madrid with the support of the Popular Party, Spain’s right-wing movement which has vowed to overturn same-sex marriage. Organized by the Archdiocese of Madrid and Cardinal Antonio …

Emperor Palpatine says that Christians are persecuted more than any group of people in the world. Gays? Nah. Jews? Huh-uh. Christians. “At present, Christians are the religious group which suffers most from persecution on account of its faith,” the pontiff asserted, and cited Christian communities suffering from violence and intolerance particularly in Asia, Africa, the Middle East and the Holy …

Innnnteresting, innit? (Via – Andrew Sullivan)

In another excerpt from his coming book/interview, Pope Benedict says that he doesn’t know if people are born gay or not. But even if God did make you this way, you shouldn’t BE this way. Or something. He said it was still an open question whether homosexual inclinations are innate or arise early in life. In any case, he said, …

In a bizarre interview with a German journalist, Emperor Palpatine has decreed for the first time that the usage of condoms is now sanctioned by the Catholic Church in “certain circumstances.” The “for example” he uses? Male hookers! To illustrate his apparent shift in position, Benedict offered the example of a male prostitute using a condom. “There may be justified …

Over 20,000 people attended this weekend’s “Protest The Pope” rally in London, where noted atheist Richard Dawkins slammed the the pontiff for blaming Hitler on atheism. More great photos from the rally are here.

“The pope cited Hitler today, asking everyone to ‘reflect on the sobering lessons of atheist extremism of the 20th century.’ Immediately, the British Humanist Association got its back up, accusing the pope of ‘a terrible libel against those who do not believe in God.’ The pope did not go far enough. Radical atheists like the British Humanist Association should apologize …

The gay dating site Gaydar stationed the above winged hotties on the Pope’s route today. Via press release: It’s day two of the Pope Benedict’s state visit to the UK. This morning he visited St. Mary’s University in Twickenham, the same town where gay dating megasite Gaydar.net* is based. On arrival he was met by a large crowd of protestors, …

“It seems pretty obvious to me…that the current Pope is a gay man (just as it was blindingly clear that John Paul II was straight). I am not claiming that Benedict is someone who has explored his sexuality, or has violated his own strictures on the matter. There is absolutely no evidence of that, or of hypocrisy of any sort. …

Wow. The Supreme Court has rejected an appeal from the Vatican, which was attempting to shield itself from child molestation lawsuits in the United States. The U.S. Supreme Court refused on Monday to consider whether the Vatican has legal immunity over the sexual abuse of minors by priests in the United States, allowing a lawsuit filed in 2002 to go …

The beauty of Catholicism is that perpetual clean slate. Pope Benedict begged forgiveness from God and victims of child sexual abuse by priests on Friday and vowed that the Catholic Church would do everything in its power to ensure that it never happens again. Benedict made his comments, some of his clearest ever about the scandal that has swept the …

UK television network Channel 4 has hired famed gay activist Peter Tatchell to host an hour-long documentary examing the Pope’s upcoming visit to Britain. And the nation’s Catholics are very displeased. Ann Widdecombe, the Tory politician who famously converted to Catholicism, said: “I think this will confirm the view that there probably already is in the Vatican that this is …

Today Emperor Palpatine urged the Portuguese people to oppose the marriage equality bill recently approved by the nation’s legislature, calling it an “insidious” threat to society. The pope, wrapping up his trip to this country where more than 90 percent of the population is officially Catholic, made his appeal in the shrine city of Fatima on a day that started …

The Vatican is threatening to cancel the Pope’s upcoming visit to Britain after the publication of an internal memo suggesting some fabulous activities for Palpatine during his visit. The memo was sent out in March following a “brainstorm” session by four junior Foreign Office staff who make up the Papal Visit Team. The “official” memos suggests the Pope opening an …