Tag Archives: batshittery

Pastor Rick Wiles: Russia Will Nuke The United States Over Gay Rights

PREVIOUSLY ON JMG: Wiles says God will destroy America and the survivors will be the “slaves of sodomites.” Wiles says ebola could solve “America’s problem with gays and atheists.” Last year he declared that MSNBC viewers are “demon-possessed fans of the anti-Christ.” And then there was that time he declared that God sent a plague of locusts to Egypt because …

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Porno Pete: Walmart Is Incentivizing Its Employees To Become Gay & Transgender

Porno Pete is ever so pissed that Walmart gave some dough to the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund. From a press release published by Christian Newswire: Americans For Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH) is alerting the nation to Walmart’s increasing capitulation to the homosexual-bisexual-transgender agenda-and is calling on Americans to urge Walmart to stop promoting homosexuality and gender confusion (transgenderism) with …

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Vaccines Can Make Your Kids Gay

The above is from an “anti-vax” Facebook page. Source. (Tipped by JMG reader Daniel)

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Pat Robertson: Homosexuals Will Die Out Because They Don’t Reproduce

But it’s a CHOICE to be gay. Norman, coordinate!

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MISSISSIPI: Pastor Puts Horse In A Wedding Dress To Protest Gay Marriage Because He’s Always On A Steady Course

“This might be possible if the band on same sex marriage is lifted.” Source. (Tipped by JMG reader Brian)

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Scott Lively Doubles Down: Homosexuality Is Definitely Worse Than Genocide

“The Marxist media is inflamed with outrage again and my inbox is littered with hate mail and death threats based on comments I made recently on Trunews Radio that the Bible treats homosexuality as a form of rebellion against God even worse (from God’s perspective) than mass murder. In the tradition of the timid modern church, this is the point …

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Bill Donohue: Atheists Are Literally Insane And Suffer Premature Deaths

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How To Get Pregnant At Starbucks (HINT: It’s All the Sodomite Semen In The Lattes)

“If you’re drinking Starbucks, watch out if you’re a woman. You might just get pregnant by drinking Starbucks. Because they’ve got some pretty potent semen in their drinks. And you will go home and tell your husband that you’re pregnant and he’ll say, ‘But we haven’t had sexual intercourse in years! Where did you get pregnant? Is it an immaculate …

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Lively: Gay Sex Is Worse Than Genocide And Caused God To Drown Everybody

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The Silent Treatment Is Really Witchcraft

“Did you know the silent treatment (which is the stubborn refusal to talk to someone, especially after a recent argument or disagreement) is a form of witchcraft? Witchcraft is sometimes a spiritual force, but it’s also a work of the flesh listed in Galatians. Intimidation is a form of fleshly witchcraft. Purposely ignoring people to ‘teach them a lesson’ can …

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Harlem Hate Pastor James David Manning: It’s Absolutely True That Starbucks Laces Their Lattes With Sodomite Semen

“This is not a quietly kept secret, but Starbucks really has discovered that sodomites love the taste of semen in their lattes. And Dracula loves to drink blood. I’m mean, this has been going since child sacrifices have been happening. There are people who love to drink semen and who love to drink blood, and so many of the people …

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Michele Bachmann: Obama Wants To Turn Illiterate Immigrants Into Democrats

“The social cost will be profound on the U.S. taxpayer – millions of unskilled, illiterate, foreign nationals coming into the United States who can’t speak the English language. Even though the president says they won’t be able to vote, we all know that many, in all likelihood, will vote. The president has a very single-minded vision. He’s looking at new …

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Jews Are Turning America Gay!

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Pat Robertson Heals Via Text Message

“God is almighty. Nothing is impossible. He can heal cancer. He can heal leukemia. He can heal arthritis. He can heal any condition you’ve got in your body. He made you and he can fix you!” Except for, you know, missing limbs. That’s on you.

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Donnie Swaggart: Gay Rights Activists Would Love To Behead Christians

UPDATE: Swaggart has had the clip pulled via a copyright claim. Here’s how Right Wing Watch recapped the clip: During the show, Swaggart asserted that, like ISIS, gay rights activists in America would publicly behead Christians if they could get away with it. “All of this is to shut the Bible up,” Swaggart declared. “They want the Bible gone. And …

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Kirk Cameron: It Was Really Pagans That Stole Christmas From Christians

From the Christian Post: “I’m making ‘Saving Christmas’ because I love Christmas, I love everything about it,” Cameron told The Christian Post before rattling off several Christmas traditions such as roasting chestnuts, drinking hot chocolate, and enjoying Christmas stockings, stories, trees and food.  “I’m a sucker for all of it, and of course the nativity, and there’s a lot of …

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MISSOURI: 21 Year-Old Man Rewarded With $100 After Renouncing Gayness

“I am not gay no more! I am delivered! I don’t like mens no more! I said I like women! Women, women, women, women, women, blub, blub, blub! I said women! I’m not gay! I would not date a man! I would not carry a purse! I would not put on makeup! I will, I will love a woman!” At …

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Monster Energy Drinks Are From Satan

It’s all right there on the can, people! (Tipped by JMG reader Daddy Ray)

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SOUTH CAROLINA: Motion To Intervene Claims Gay Marriage Would Force Man To Stop Worshipping The Lord

From local loony tune Don Boyd’s typos and misspellings-laden motion to intervene in the challenge to South Carolina’s ban on same-sex marriage: DON BOYD, MUSICIAN AND PSALMIST, Anointed and Assigned as a Watchmen of the souls of the people errantly calling themselves lesbian and gay WOULD PURSUE DISMISSAL of what is in essence and in truth a RELIGIOUS matter couched …

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Barber: Lesbian Extremist Mayor Must Go

“Should we make an example of her? Absolutely. I was born in Waco, Texas, and lived in Houston, so I’ve got a dog in this hunt. Really, we all do. Houston Mayor Annise Parker has disqualified herself from the privilege of serving the people of south Texas. She must either resign, effective immediately, or Houstonians should begin, without delay, the …

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