Teabagistan

Mullets Over America: Make America Great Again

JMG reader David points us to this kind of awesome Trump-mocking video by Arizona’s conservative Public Integrity Alliance. From the Phoenix New Times: The video features Phoenix comedian Brian Nissen’s reprising his running, redneck character “Dwain,” a mullet-headed simpleton who loves corndogs, Karate, pickup trucks, sittin’ out in the yard on a beat-up couch, and, of course, Trump, because he’s …

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Dr. Stabby: Bill Clinton Taught Kids About Blowjobs

Via Mediaite: Ben Carson last night connected Bill Clinton‘s sex scandal to the corruption of America’s youth. On The O’Reilly Factor last night, Jesse Watters asked Carson if he thinks Donald Trump going after the former president is fair game. Carson said of course it is. “My main problem with it,” he explained, “is I saw innocent little kids… becoming …

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Frothy Mix: As President I’ll Enforce DOMA [VIDEO]

L to the O to the L. Miranda Blue reports: In an interview with the Catholic news network EWTN broadcast on Sunday, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum said that, if elected, he would ignore the Supreme Court’s ruling in U.S. v. Windsor and enforce the parts of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that the court found unconstitutional. Santorum …

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Todd Starnes: Evil Oregon Stole Money From Jesus

“Melissa Klein was checking her bank accounts just a few weeks before Christmas when her face turned ashen. The money was gone – every single penny. Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industries had confiscated all the cash in Mrs. Klein’s checking account and savings account as well as a special account set aside for their church tithe.  Yes, friends – …

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Teabagistan REALLY Hates This Photo

President Obama’s Twitter team has sent out the above image with this caption: “Suit up—it’s President Obama’s final State of the Union. Say you’ll tune in.” The reaction across Teabagistan has been quite amusing. Iowa Hawk blogger David Burge: “This picture says more about the state of the nation than his mouth ever could.” Admittedly, the photo is kind of trolltastic …

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Ted Cruz: Win A Shotgun With My Name On It

If you sign up for the Ted Cruz money beg list, you’ll be entered to win a shotgun which is engraved with his name. What, no assault rifle? I’ve signed up just for the viral video fun that could result from sawing it into a million pieces. Note the disclaimer for the contest: “Promotion open only to U.S. citizens, or …

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Ted Cruz: On My First Day In Office I’ll Undo Every One Of Obama’s “Illegal” Executive Orders

Via the right wing Washington Examiner: Surging Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz is laying out what would be the most aggressive first day in office ever for a new president, starting with the elimination of “every single illegal and unconstitutional” executive action taken by President Obama. In an epilogue to his father Rafael Cruz’s upcoming autobiography, the Texas senator …

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Breitbart Has The Oregon Bakery Sadz

You guys, Breitbart editor John Nolte is VERY UPSET that Oregon’s anti-gay bakers have finally paid their fine for doxxing a local gay couple after being found guilty of violating their state’s public accommodation laws. Clearly, only followers of White Jesus are entitled to such protections. And if you dare complain about being targeted for online harassment, you are just …

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NEW HAMPSHIRE: Trump Slams “Sleazebag Lowlife” Publisher Of State’s Largest Newspaper [VIDEO]

And once again Donald Trump turns into a whiny titty baby when faced with criticism. NBC News reports: Donald Trump referred to the biggest newspaper in New Hampshire as a “pile of garbage” Monday night after the New Hampshire Union-Leader ran a front-page editorial calling him an insult to the intelligence of voters in the state. Speaking to a crowd …

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TENNESSEE: State Rep Calls For Halt To All Marriage Licenses, “God Didn’t Create Adam And Winston”

The Murfreesboro Daily News Journal reports: Tennessee should stop issuing marriage licenses in response to the U.S. Supreme Court decision that made gay marriage legal, state Rep. Rick Womick said. “The state Constitution says that marriage is between one man and one woman, and my personal belief is that God says that marriage is between one man and one woman,” …

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Dr. Stabby: I’m The GOP’s Best Chance Against Hillary

Ben Carson’s latest money beg declares him to be the GOP’s only hope against Hillary Clinton. And if you send him at least $25, you’ll get a Carson 2016 camouflage trucker hat. Because reasons. From the email: Pamela, It’s been a tremendous year. For a campaign that all the “experts” routinely dismissed, we’ve built a real movement. We’ve received over …

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Sarah Silverman Trolls Wingnuts With Jesus Tweet

Catholic League blowhard Bill Donohue is ever so pissed: Sarah Silverman, the foul-mouthed, anti-Catholic bigot, is at it again. On Christmas morning, she tweeted, “Merry Christmas! Jesus was gender fluid.” Thus did she use the celebration of our Lord’s birth to mock Christian beliefs about marriage, family and human sexuality. Silverman’s perversions would be her own problem if she kept …

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HAWAII: Obama Vacation Spot Rainbow Riles Right

Over the weekend a rainbow appeared directly over President Obama’s vacation spot in Hawaii.  Take it away Twitchy commenters: “Wow, wish I had a fan club of professional photographers following me around framing rainbows in my vicinity to make me look like a little demigod. Not really, I prefer to give glory to Christ. Let’s hope this presumptuous little Herod …

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KENTUCKY: Gov. Matt Bevin Faces Massive Legal Bill For His State’s Losing Battle Against Marriage

Back in August then-Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear was hit with a $2.3 million legal fees bill from the winning side in his state’s battle against same-sex marriage. Beshear balked at paying the “unreasonable” amount and offered to settle for $581K – about 25% of the bill. Now the full bill is in the lap of newly-elected teabagger Gov. Matt Bevin, …

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Mike Huckabee Continues Attack On Ted Cruz For (Allegedly) Not Hating Gays Enough [VIDEO]

Via Mediaite: Mike Huckabee today stood by his attacks on Ted Cruz and insisted that neither he nor his Super PAC “selectively edited” what Cruz said. At a closed-door Manhattan fundraiser, Cruz was asked if stopping gay marriage is a top-three priority for him. He said no, but did say that his priority is defending the Constitution, which Cruz supporters …

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Trump: Bill Is Too Sexist To Campaign For Hillary

The man who says Carly Fiorina is too ugly to be president is suddenly very concerned about sexism. Via The Hill: Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump late Saturday blasted the announcement that former President Bill Clinton will campaign for his wife, Hillary Clinton. The real estate mogul said the former president has a “penchant for sexism” in a tweet. Trump …

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Christian Extremist Site World Net Daily Names President Obama Its “Muslim Of The Year”

Nutjob Larry Klayman writes for World Net Daily: The contestants were Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran; Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, leader of ISIS (Islamic State); Bashar al-Assad, the dictator president of Syria; Mullah Akhtar Mansour and Akhund, co-leaders of the Taliban; Sayed Hassan-Nasrallah, head of Hezbollah; Khaled Mashai, leader of Hamas; Nihad Awad, …

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Abstinence Spox Has Second Out-Of-Wedlock Child

America’s most prominent unwed and highly-paid abstinence spokesbilly has spawned for the second time: Bristol Palin has given birth to a baby daughter, Sailor Grace, seven months after she called off her engagement to marine Dakota Meyer, who took to Twitter to at last confirm that he is in fact the father of Bristol’s second child. Announcing the happy news …

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Ted Cruz: The MSM Is Hillary’s Lapdog

Earlier this week the Washington Post drew the ire of both sides when it published an editorial cartoon which depicted the children of Ted Cruz as monkeys on a leash. The WaPo quickly pulled the cartoon, even after its Pulitzer-winning creator explained that she was mocking Cruz for putting his kids at the center of last week’s SNL skit. Cruz …

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Kim Davis: I Failed Miserably At Marriage

“How ironic that God would use a person like me, who failed so miserably at marriage in the world, to defend it now. The Lord picks the unlikely source to convey the message.” – Kim Davis, speaking yesterday to the Associated Press. More from ABC News: “It makes me uncomfortable to hear people using God … to justify their bigotry,” …

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