Idiocracy

Christian Site: Missionary Killed By Tribe Is Gospel Hero

The Christian Post reports: For those who believe the Bible is true, John Chau is a hero. John took Jesus seriously when He said, “Go into ALL THE WORLD and make disciples.” John also took Jesus seriously when He said, “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Five years ago this week, 26-year-old John Chau went ashore …

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No Labels Floats $100 Fee To Vote At 2024 Convention

The Associated Press reports: No Labels, a political organization that has alarmed some Democrats with talk of launching a third-party presidential candidate, has contemplated requiring a donation of at least $100 in order to cast a ballot at the group’s upcoming nominating convention, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press. The idea, which breaks from longstanding norms, would raise …

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Mullin: The Senate Used To Be Able To Cane People

“You know, some people are real strong behind a keypad, but when they get called out, it’s completely different. People asked me, too, ‘Is this becoming of a U.S. senator.’ And, I’m like, man, I’m a guy from Oklahoma first. In Oklahoma, you don’t run your mouth like that, and if you do run your mouth like that, you’re expected …

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Mullin: Threatening To Fist Fight Is “Oklahoma Values”

The Daily Beast reports: Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) said he was nobly representing “Oklahoma values” when he challenged a union boss to a fight Tuesday. Speaking about the incident with Mullin on Fox News on Tuesday night, Sean Hannity praised Mullin’s actions, saying any other response would have been “gutless.” Mullin agreed, then said: “What did people want me to …

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Fox Interviews Noted War Correspondent Fabio [VIDEO]

“The world is on fire. You don’t have to look farther than our president. We have today – we have the weakest president in the history of the United States. The guy doesn’t even know what planet he’s on. And of course, our enemies can see that. So what’s better time to take advantage of the situation? The guy can’t …

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Tennessee “Santa’s Train” Driver Charged With DUI

Knoxville’s ABC affiliate reports: Police in Tazewell say Henry Meade, 40, was operating “Santa’s Train” at the town’s Christmas Tractor Parade — i.e., driving a motorized lawn mower that he was using to pull carts full of children and their families. On Saturday evening, visitors at the event said they saw Moore acting erratically. Local police officers were soon alerted …

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GOP Senator Challenges Witness To Fist Fight [VIDEO]

The Washington Examiner reports: A Senate hearing got heated on Tuesday when Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) stood up in an apparent move to physically fight Teamsters President Sean O’Brien. The move came after O’Brien — testifying before the Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions, about unions — challenged Mullin to a fight in June on Twitter. In a tweet, …

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The Cult Attacks RFK Jr. For Going Barefoot On Flight

“So RFK Jr. gets up and walks to the bathroom. And as he’s walking to the bathroom, I realize the guy has no shoes on, and no socks. And the floor is covered with food, and, like, disgusting food! He’s walking to the restroom with no shoes and no socks on. He goes into the restroom, sockless, something I’ve literally …

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Ted Cruz Agrees: God Had Texas Team Win The World Series Because They Alone Refused To Hold Pride Night

From the far-right “satire” site Babylon Bee: The Lord has granted a World Series championship to the Texas Rangers, the one and only Major League Baseball team to not host a Pride Night. After over fifty years of championship futility, the Texas Rangers finally captured the World Series title in the same year the team became the final Major League …

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Starbucks Again Fails To Feature Jesus On Holiday Cups

Via press release from Starbucks: It’s OK, you can look now! The holidays arrive in U.S. Starbucks stores on Nov. 2, and we’re here to tell you all about this year’s bright and beautiful collection of holiday cups. The cup collection is clad in holiday red and Starbucks greens and a mood-boosting magenta, each one accented with sparkles for a …

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“Expert Bootmakers” Agree: DeSantis Is Wearing Lifts

Politico reports: In the last few weeks, posts mocking Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ strangely shaped cowboy boots have racked up millions of views on Twitter and TikTok, with online sleuths trying to determine whether he’s wearing height-boosting insoles to pump himself up against a 6’3” primary frontrunner with a penchant for nicknames who reportedly considered calling DeSantis “Tiny D.” Three …

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DeSantis Denies Wearing Boots With Lifts: “I’m 5’11”

Florida Politics reports: The Governor told PBT Podcast listeners that he’s wearing “standard off the rack Lucchese” boots. He said that because he is just 1 inch shy of 6 feet tall, he doesn’t need extra height from footwear. Asked why he simply doesn’t wear dress shoes or tennis shoes, the Governor said he does in fact “wear tennis shoes …

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Christian Site: “Demons Attach To Halloween Candy”

Jordan Campbell writes for Charisma News: We don’t celebrate Halloween is because satanic activity is real. As a second-generation deliverance minister, having worked with severe trauma survivors, it saddens me to see families opening doors to such darkness as they participate in Halloween. There is no light in it. The witchcraft, spells, incantations, curses, rituals, sacrifices—all of this is real, …

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Christian Site: Dracula Was A “Committed Christian”

The Christian Post reports: Exactly how was an Orthodox Christian aristocrat transformed into the most infamous bloodsucking vampire of all time? And is anti-Christian historical revisionism to blame? While most of us have heard the name Dracula at some point, it’s usually in the context of Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel or the countless movies and TV shows based on that …

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College Suspends Staffer Behind Hitler Trivia Question

The Associated Press reports: Michigan State athletic director Alan Haller said he has suspended an employee involved in allowing Adolf Hitler’s image to be shown on videoboards before playing No. 2 Michigan. The employee, who was not named, will be paid pending an investigation that will help to determine potential action in the future. Haller said no one in the …

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Megachurch Pastor Must Pay $2.4M Herpes Settlement

Click2Houston reports: A prominent Houston pastor has been ordered to pay $2.45 million to a woman that a jury found he gave herpes to. After a three-day trial and six and a half hours of deliberation, the jury unanimously found Rev. Ralph D. West II liable. “You can’t fix it, she’s got it for the rest of her life,” said …

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McCarthy To GOP: Don’t Nominate Me For Speaker

The Daily Beast reports: Though some moderate Republicans planned to nominate Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) for House Speaker, he reportedly told colleagues in a Tuesday party meeting not to put him forward, according to Punchbowl News. It would leave two candidates: Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) and Steve Scalise (R-LA), who will both speak at the House GOP’s candidate forum on …

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Book Flagged Because Author’s Last Name Is “Gay”

The Birmingham News reports: “Read Me a Story, Stella” is a children’s picture book about a pair of siblings reading books together and building a doghouse. However, because the author’s name is Marie-Louise Gay, the book was added to a list of potentially “sexually explicit” books to be moved from the children’s section of the Huntsville-Madison County Public Library (HCPL) …

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Happy 5G Zombification Day To All Who Celebrate

CBS News reports: A nationwide test of the federal emergency alert system will be broadcast at approximately 2:20 p.m. EDT to cellphones, televisions and radios across the United States. The test will occur simultaneously across time zones, so people in the middle of the country can expect it at 1:20 p.m. Central Time, or 12:20 p.m. Mountain Time. On the …

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QAnon: 5G Pulses Will Turn You Into Zombies On Oct 4

The Associated Press reports: CLAIM: An emergency broadcast system test on Oct. 4 will send a signal to cell phones nationwide in order to activate nanoparticles such as graphene oxide that have been introduced into people’s bodies. AP’S ASSESSMENT: False. Next month’s test of the nationwide Emergency Alert System uses the same familiar audio tone that’s been in use since …

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