Idiocracy

Fox News reports: Judge Judith Sheindlin, better known to fans as Judge Judy, is endorsing Nikki Haley in the 2024 presidential race. “I’m proud to endorse Nikki Haley because she is whip smart, has executive credentials and was a superb governor,” Sheindlin said in a statement. “She has international gravitas as Ambassador to the United Nations. She is principled, measured …

The Daily Mail reports: An official collection of ninety-four available MAGA hats from Donald Trump’s run for president in 2020 has gone on the market for a whopping $250,000. An eBay listing shows an image of the iconic hat collection, with nearly 100 different styles for sale, including “Farmers for Trump” and “Cops for Trump.” The package also includes “Women …

Reuters reports: Hershey has been sued by a Florida woman who said its holiday-themed Reese’s peanut butter candies lack the artistic details shown on the packaging that make them worth buying. In a proposed federal class action filed on Thursday and seeking at least $5 million, Cynthia Kelly accused Hershey of deceiving reasonable consumers by falsely promising that its candies …

“Well, this country is mired in so much contradiction and confusion. We don’t even know how we can help anyone anymore because we can’t agree who needs help. I mean, what doesn’t come with a trigger warning these days? “I mean, Tucker, we are far too close to having a beanbag chair in the Oval Office. We coddled everybody. Okay? …

Florida Politics reports: Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson isn’t letting big government get in the way of jolly St. Nick. Simpson approved an emergency order waiving any and all state regulations through Dec. 25 that could delay Santa as he travels across the states delivering toys to children. The order states that the Free State of Florida, “hereby known as the …

Gothamist reports: Authorities said a security checkpoint X-ray machine at LaGuardia Airport wiped an Arkansas man of his luggage after his bag triggered an alarm, prompting officers to unwrap 17 9mm bullets that had been “artfully concealed” inside of an otherwise clean disposable baby diaper, the TSA said. The man first told officials he didn’t know how the deadly diaper …

The Sportster reports: In the UFC 296 main card, featherweight Josh Emmett unleashed a powerful strike that knocked out Bryce Mitchell, creating a disturbing scene after the match as Mitchell appeared to have a seizure. In the midst of the main card opener in Las Vegas on Saturday, Emmett delivered a devastating right punch that rendered Mitchell unconscious in the …

Mediaite reports: Maye Musk, the mother of billionaire X/Twitter owner Elon Musk, complained to President Joe Biden on Wednesday after the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) opted not to give Musk’s Starlink nearly $900 million in government subsidies. After FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr protested the decision and accused his agency of joining a “growing list of federal agencies engaging in the …

Los Angeles’s ABC affiliate reports: An extreme sports athlete from Santa Barbara County was sentenced to six months in federal prison on Monday for intentionally crashing a small plane for a YouTube stunt and then destroying the wreckage. In November 2021, authorities say Trevor Jacob, 30, took off from the Lompoc City Airport in his single-engine Taylorcraft BL-65 on a …

Futurism reports: After getting in so much trouble over co-signing antisemitism that he had to go on an apology tour to Israel, noted tech weirdo Elon Musk tweeted a Pizzagate meme — and then deleted it, seemingly realizing that once again he had self-inflicted a terrible self-own. In a post made on the social network he owns that’s still visible …

Los Angeles’s Fox affiliate reports: A man was arrested Sunday after he was seen naked wandering around the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disneyland, forcing the ride to shut down for more than an hour while park guests looked on in confusion. The man was seen climbing over the display and into the fake water in front of the …

Des Moines’ CBS affiliate reports: The superintendent of Indianola Schools is apologizing after parents say a quote tied to Nazis was included in the morning announcements. On Monday, some Indianola parents shared an email with KCCI, which appears to be the day’s middle school morning announcements. At the bottom, it included the “Respect Quote of the Day,” which was “My …

Gothamist reports: Cute pandas will save the city’s economy – and ease tensions between the United States and China, local billionaire John Catsimatidis declared during a bizarre press conference on Tuesday. “New York is in deep doo-doo right now. We need tourism, we need people to come to New York,” Catsimatidis told reporters at his Midtown office. “Who doesn’t love …

CNN reports: Ben Brody says his life was going fine. He had just finished college, stayed out of trouble, and was prepping for law school. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Elon Musk used his considerable social media clout to amplify an online mob’s misguided rants accusing the 22-year-old from California of being an undercover agent in a neo-Nazi group. The …

The Christian Post reports: For those who believe the Bible is true, John Chau is a hero. John took Jesus seriously when He said, “Go into ALL THE WORLD and make disciples.” John also took Jesus seriously when He said, “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Five years ago this week, 26-year-old John Chau went ashore …

The Associated Press reports: No Labels, a political organization that has alarmed some Democrats with talk of launching a third-party presidential candidate, has contemplated requiring a donation of at least $100 in order to cast a ballot at the group’s upcoming nominating convention, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press. The idea, which breaks from longstanding norms, would raise …

“You know, some people are real strong behind a keypad, but when they get called out, it’s completely different. People asked me, too, ‘Is this becoming of a U.S. senator.’ And, I’m like, man, I’m a guy from Oklahoma first. In Oklahoma, you don’t run your mouth like that, and if you do run your mouth like that, you’re expected …

The Daily Beast reports: Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) said he was nobly representing “Oklahoma values” when he challenged a union boss to a fight Tuesday. Speaking about the incident with Mullin on Fox News on Tuesday night, Sean Hannity praised Mullin’s actions, saying any other response would have been “gutless.” Mullin agreed, then said: “What did people want me to …

“The world is on fire. You don’t have to look farther than our president. We have today – we have the weakest president in the history of the United States. The guy doesn’t even know what planet he’s on. And of course, our enemies can see that. So what’s better time to take advantage of the situation? The guy can’t …

Knoxville’s ABC affiliate reports: Police in Tazewell say Henry Meade, 40, was operating “Santa’s Train” at the town’s Christmas Tractor Parade — i.e., driving a motorized lawn mower that he was using to pull carts full of children and their families. On Saturday evening, visitors at the event said they saw Moore acting erratically. Local police officers were soon alerted …