Idiocracy

GOP Rep Face-Plants In Bud Light Boycott Attempt

The Houston Chronicle reports: Houston-area Congressman Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) joined in on the wave of backlash to the commercial with an Instagram post over the weekend. In a video published to the platform on Sunday, Crenshaw vows to throw out all the Bud Light in his fridge—only to find it stuffed with Karbach. “Saw Bud Light’s stupid ad campaign,” Crenshaw …

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Colbert’s “Indictment Coin” Ad Mocks Trump’s Junk

Mediaite reports: A purported “artist’s rendering of Trump’s penis” was included in a parody ad for a coin commemorating ex-President Donald Trump’s indictment that aired on the CBS television network. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert opened with a gag commercial pegged to the idea of Trump raising money off of the arrest, and included a joke based on Stormy …

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Clarence Thomas’ Benefactor Collects Hitler Artifacts

The Washingtonian reports: When Republican megadonor Harlan Crow isn’t lavishing Justice Clarence Thomas with free trips on his private plane and yacht (in possible violation of Supreme Court ethics rules), he lives a quiet life in Dallas among his historical collections. These collections include Hitler artifacts—two of his paintings of European cityscapes, a signed copy of Mein Kampf, and assorted …

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Musk Admits Being Clueless About NPR’s Funding

NPR reports: Twitter CEO Elon Musk said the platform’s recent labeling of NPR as “state-affiliated media” might not have been accurate during a series of email exchanges that provided a glimpse into the billionaire’s thought process on decisions that reverberate far beyond the social network. Regardless, as of late Thursday, the designation remained. In one email exchange, Musk appeared to …

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Newsmax Host: Trump Looked “Even More Presidential” While Being Arrested, “We’re Talking Eye Of The Tiger”

“President Donald Trump — this was technically in police custody today, going from processing into the arraignment. And somehow he looks even more presidential. “I’m serious. I mean, we’re talking eye of the tiger. This is why so many people are drawn to him, he fights. And, by the way, this is all nonsense. I’ve seen the indictment and it’s …

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Florida Principal Wrote $100K Check To Fake Elon Musk

Orlando’s NBC affiliate reports: The longtime principal of a charter school in southeast Volusia County resigned under fire Tuesday night after it was discovered she wrote a $100,000 check out of the school’s account to an Internet scammer posing as Elon Musk. Jan McGee claims she was scammed online by a fake Elon Musk after spending months talking to this …

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Trump: “Length Is Important For Entertainment Value”

Posted yesterday to Trump’s Trump Social account: Here we go again with the USGA wanting to cut the distance out of a golf ball! Remember, you still have to chip, putt, and do everything else. They really have bigger problems, like LIV. People want to feel and watch the long ball. Also, they want to see the great players hit …

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VIRAL VIDEO: Right Winger Struggles To Define “Woke”

Mediaite reports: Credit where due: Bethany Mandel correctly foretold the viral nature of her awkward answer to a fairly straightforward question about what she meant by “wokeness.” After repeating the word “wokeness” several times, cohost Briahna Joy Gray pressed Mandel on what exactly she meant. “So, I mean, woke is sort of the idea that…” Mandel stammered, after which she …

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Imprisoned Joe Exotic Launches Run For US President

Posted today to Joe Exotic’s website: Thank you for your interest in my Campaign. Yes, I know I am in Federal Prison and you might think this is a joke but it’s not. It is my Constitutional right to do this even from here. I have been put here only because of the corruption in the Department of Justice, three …

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Prominent Anti-Vaxxer Dies Of Horse Paste Side Effects

Vice News reports: Just before 7 am on March 3, Danny Lemoi posted an update in his hugely popular pro-ivermectin Telegram group, Dirt Road Discussions: “HAPPY FRIDAY ALL YOU POISONOUS HORSE PASTE EATING SURVIVORS !!!” Hours later, Lemoi was dead. Lemoi had taken a daily dose of veterinary ivermectin. In 2021, as ivermectin became a popular alternative COVID-19 treatment among …

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Utah “Sovereign Citizen” Killed By Cops In Traffic Stop

Vice News reports: A 25-year-old man who espoused beliefs that aligned with the so-called “sovereign citizen” movement was shot dead by police officers in Utah after being pulled over for driving without a proper license plate. On March 1, Chase Allan, 25, was pulled over by police in the small Utah town of Farmington after cops noticed he was driving …

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GOP To Investigate FTC For Investigating Twitter/Musk

Axios reports: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is teaming up with House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) to investigate the Federal Trade Commission’s investigation of Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover, Axios has learned. Republicans in both congressional chambers now will throw their muscle into investigating FTC actions and defending Musk. Cruz is the top Republican on the Senate Commerce Committee. The “FTC’s …

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Virginia Judge Cites Slavery Law: Embryos Are Property

The Associated Press reports: Frozen human embryos can legally be considered property, or “chattel,” a Virginia judge has ruled, basing his decision in part on a 19th century law governing the treatment of slaves. The preliminary opinion by Fairfax County Circuit Court Judge Richard Gardiner – delivered in a long-running dispute between a divorced husband and wife – is being …

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Trump To Publish Book Of Fawning Letters From Celebs

Axios reports: Former President Trump, in a new book, plans to reveal 150 private letters sent to him — including one from Oprah Winfrey in 2000 in which she says: “Too bad we’re not running for office. What a team!” Trump writes that he still considers Winfrey “amazing” — but admits it’s not mutual: “Sadly, once I announced for President, …

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Mexican President: I Have Photo Evidence Elves Exist

USA Today reports: Mexico’s president posted a photo on his social media accounts Saturday showing what he said appeared to be a mythological woodland spirit similar to an elf. President Andrés Manuel López Obrador did not seem to be joking when he posted the photo of an “Aluxe,” a mischievous woodland spirit in Mayan folklore. López Obrador wrote the photo …

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Trump Has Regular Gig As Mar-A-Lago’s Thursday DJ

The New York Post reports: Donald Trump — or should we call him DJ Donnie T? — now has a regular gig spinning at his Palm Beach, Fla., club, Mar-a-Lago. A socially connected insider tells Page Six that “Trump is officially DJing every Thursday night” at the members-only club. The source added, “Members know this, and when they invite guests …

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Lawyer Argues That Fetus Of Florida Woman Jailed On 2022 Murder Charge Is An “Illegally Detained Person”

The Guardian reports: A lawyer’s attempt to have his pregnant client released from jail ahead of trial by arguing that her fetus has been subject to “unlawful and illegal detention” could have profound consequences for the rights of women in Florida. Attorney William M Norris filed a petition for a writ of habeas corpus on behalf of the “unborn child” …

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Babbitt’s Husband Seeks Crowdfund Meant For Lawsuit

San Diego’s ABC affiliate reports: The shooting death of Ashli Babbitt at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021 was a call to action for Gerhardt Fox, who worked on a legal fundraising effort in the wake of Babbitt’s death. “I feel that a person who was unarmed and who wasn’t engaging in an assault should not be shot by …

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Man Tries To Bring Loaded Assault Rifle Onto Flight

New Orleans’ CBS affiliate reports: Authorities say officers at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport stopped a passenger with an “assault rifle” and 163 rounds of ammunition from being carried onto a plane headed for Houston this week. According to the Transportation Security Administration, a 52-year-old man from Jefferson, La., now faces a fine that could be as high as …

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Ohio MAGA Rep Drinks Water From Rail Disaster Town

“Hello, folks. Here. Here I am. I’m in Palestine, in Ohio, here with the train derailment. Had great meetings with Norfolk Southern, had an opportunity to speak with the mayor, EPA officials. We talked about the issues that the people that the 4,800 residents are faced with here in East Palestine as it relates to water and or air quality. …

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