Idiocracy

TX Gov Falls For Fake Story About “Woke” Garth Brooks

The Huffington Post reports: Texas Gov. Greg Abbott took his Twitter feed to some low places over the weekend when he was duped by a satire website into sharing literal fake news about country music icon Garth Brooks. Abbott linked to a story about Brooks from a satire website called The Dunning-Kruger Times. If the name alone isn’t enough of …

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Musk: I’ll Train In MMA Before Zuckerberg Cage Match

Reuters reports: Elon Musk said on Saturday he will start training if the mixed martial arts cage fight he has provoked with fellow billionaire media mogul Mark Zuckerberg takes shape. Twitter owner Musk tweeted on Tuesday he was up for a cage match in Las Vegas with Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook parent Meta, who has trained in jiu-jitsu. “I haven’t …

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UFC: Musk/Zuckerberg Bout Would Cost $100 On PPV

CNBC reports: While a standard UFC pay-per-view costs $80, UFC president Dana White said he would charge $100 for the Musk-Zuckerberg bout. The previous biggest pay-per-view ever was Conor McGrergor-Floyd Mayweather in 2017,  White said, which brought in more than $600 million in revenue. The two executives, who have a history of bad blood, likely aren’t looking to add to …

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Owens Pitches “Anti-Woke” Provider Which Uses AT&T

“As we continue to stand strong against these woke corporations, I am always looking for alternatives that we can support that align with our values. One company that I’m proud to stand behind, and they are proud to stand behind us as well, is PureTalk. “PureTalk is veteran-owned and has a 100% American workforce. They share our values, which is …

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Crenshaw Blames Coast Guard For Submarine Deaths

The Huffington Post reports: Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) laid blame Thursday on the U.S. Coast Guard after the armed forces branch said it had found pieces of the lost Titan submersible on the ocean floor. Things might have turned out differently, he said, if leadership “had just acted sooner.” “I have been hearing a lot of concerning things from people, …

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UFC Head: Musk/Zuckerberg “Cage Fight” Will Happen

More news about bored billionaires. TMZ Sports reports: Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are “absolutely deadly serious” about fighting each other in a UFC Octagon and it would be the biggest fight in the history of the world, so says UFC Prez Dana White. Dana told Harvey and Charles on “TMZ Live” Thursday he’s been talking and texting with Mark …

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Musk And Zuckerberg Agree To Literal “Cage Fight”

The Verge reports: After Elon Musk recently tweeted that he would be “up for a cage fight” with Zuckerberg, the Meta CEO shot back by posting a screenshot of Musk’s tweet with the caption “send me location.” I’ve confirmed that Zuckerberg’s post on his Instagram account is, in fact, not a joke, which means the ball is now in Musk’s …

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Junior Claims Nefarious Forces Are Behind Missing Sub

Mediaite reports: It was inevitable that the story of the missing submersible in the North Atlantic would spark conspiracy theories. On Wednesday, as the frantic search continued, Donald Trump Jr. earned the distinction of becoming the first prominent pundit to lean into conspiracy over the vessel. On board are British billionaire Hamish Harding, 59; Pakistani-born billionaire Shahzada Dawood, 48, and …

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RFK Jr. Claims US And China Are Developing “Ethnic Bio Weapons Designed To Attack Certain Racial Types”

“Do you worry about that? Because I see that as sort of the the next big fight. Those viruses don’t see any borders and their relatively cheap to do — there’s gain of function. That’s what I worry about more than the big hardware. And we know that the Chinese are developing ethnic bio weapons, bio weapons that are designed …

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RFK Jr Claims “WiFi Radiation” Causes Brain Cancer

“WiFi radiation is — does all kinds of bad things, including causing cancer. Yeah, from your cell phone. There’s cell phone tumors, you know that. I’m representing hundreds of people who have cell phone tumors behind the ear. “It’s always on the ear that you favor with your cell phone. We have the science, so if anybody let us in …

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Joe Exotic: I’m On Colorado Presidential Primary Ballot

Denver’s Fox affiliate reports: Joseph Maldonado-Passage, known widely as “Joe Exotic,” has filed the paperwork to appear on the 2024 Democratic presidential primary ballot in Colorado, according to the former zookeeper. Maldonado is currently serving a 21-year sentence in federal prison after being convicted in a murder-for-hire plot. Because he’s not set to be released until years after the 2024 …

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RFK Jr: Chemicals In Drinking Water Turn Kids Trans

“I think a lot of the problems we see in kids, particularly boys, it’s probably underappreciated on that how much of that is coming from chemical exposures, including a lot of the sexual dysphoria that we’re seeing. I mean, they’re swimming through a soup of toxic chemicals today, and many of those are endocrine disruptors. There’s atrazine throughout our water …

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Cultist Sobs For Wingnut Outlet Over Trump’s Charges

Here’s the transcript via Right Side Broadcasting: VANESSA BROUSSARD: Quieter, a little quieter than what it was earlier. I want to bring in a Trump supporter. She is here supporting the president. And you’ve been to many rallies. So you like to follow him and really show him that you have his back? TRUMP SUPPORTER: I always have his back. …

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IL Man Shoots Himself During Dream About Intruder

Chicago’s ABC affiliate reports: A Lake Barrington man with a revoked FOID card shot himself while having a dream that an intruder was breaking into his home, the Lake County Sheriff’s Office said Tuesday. Deputies found Mark Dicara, 62, with a wound to his leg, authorities said. Deputies applied a tourniquet to stop the blood loss and he was then …

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Mexican Beer Topples Bud Light As Top Seller In US

CNN Business reports: America’s top-selling beer is no longer American. Modelo Especial, the Mexican lager brewed near Mexico City by Constellation Brands, became the top-selling beer in May, overthrowing Bud Light from the top spot it has held for more than two decades. The fall from the top further highlighted how much trouble the Anheuser-Busch brand is in following transgender …

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Newsmax Host: Those Stolen Docs Could Fit In One Box

“So I went through the indictment and saw that how many documents, classified documents, did the FBI actually recover? 102. “So everybody, I got a box right here, alright? This is one box. One box, and inside I have 600 pages. That’s 600 pages. From Staples, this is 500, and this, I opened another, this is about a hundred right …

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Newsmax: Boycott The “Blasphemous” Cracker Barrel

Michael Reagan writes for Newsmax: The Cracker Barrel marketing department had other ideas. It watched the Bud Light transgender debacle and the Target grooming debacle and decided it wanted some of that, too. Cracker Barrel surrendered to the Rainbow Reich without a shot being fired, and has now fully embraced PRIDE month. The celebration of America’s new godless religion of …

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Appeals Court Hears Case Of Cultist’s “FCKBLM” Plate

Courthouse News reports: A Hawaii resident claiming the state infringed on his right to free speech after recalling a personalized license plate bearing the letters “FCKBLM” asked the Ninth Circuit on Thursday to consider whether license plates are truly representative of government speech or if it becomes messaging merely associated with a private citizen. According to the initial complaint, Edward …

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Cultists Shocked To Learn “Trump Bucks” Aren’t Money

NBC News reports: Con artists have been mining their disappointment over the last presidential election for gold. They’ve been peddling “Trump Bucks,” which are emblazoned with photos of the former president, and advertising them online as a kind of golden ticket that will help propel Trump’s 2024 bid and make the “real patriots” who support him rich when cashed in. …

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Ethics Panel Drops Ridiculous Spy Probe Into Swalwell

MSNBC reports: When House Speaker Kevin McCarthy kicked Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell off the House Intelligence Committee in January, the Republican leader said the move was necessary in the interests of “national security.” Even at the time, it was a difficult line to take seriously. In fact, The Washington Post published a detailed report scrutinizing McCarthy’s claims and concluded they …

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