Idiocracy

Trump: I Won’t Watch Mueller Testimony Unless I Do

“No, I’m not going to be watching. Probably maybe I’ll see a little bit of it. I’m not going to be watching Mueller because you can’t take all those bites out of the apple. We had no collusion, no obstruction. We had no nothing, we had a total no collusion finding. The Democrats were devastated by it they went crazy, …

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Trump: I Could Win The Afghanistan War In A Week But I Just Don’t Want To Kill Ten Million People [VIDEO]

The Hill reports: President Trump said Monday he could end the Afghanistan war “in a week,” but that doing so would cause millions of deaths. “I could win that war in a week. I just don’t want to kill 10 million people,” Trump said during a White House meeting with Pakistan’s prime minister, Imran Khan. The president added that Afghanistan …

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REPORT: Commerce Dept In Upheaval, Ross Sleeps Through Meetings When He’s Not Kissing Trump’s Ass

Politico reports: Constant infighting among top officials. Sudden departures of senior staffers without explanation. A leader who is disengaged and prone to falling asleep in meetings. The Commerce Department has reached its apex of dysfunction under Wilbur Ross, according to four people with knowledge of the inner workings of the department. The 81-year-old Commerce secretary, who has for months endured …

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Illinois GOP Labels Female Dems As “The Jihad Squad”

The Chicago Tribune reports: Top leaders of the Illinois Republican Party launched an effort at damage control Sunday after a social media post echoed President Donald Trump’s criticism of four Democratic congresswoman and went further, referring to them in a movie-type poster of being a “jihad squad” and contending they believe any criticism is racist. The post was made to …

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Trump Demands Apology From “Hateful” Dem Women

The Independent reports: Donald Trump has once again attacked the four Democratic congresswomen he launched racist tweets at last week, demanding Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar and Ayanna Pressley apologise “for the horrible (hateful) things they have said.” The latest tweets arrived after an extraordinary rebuke of the president’s racist attacks against the four congresswomen of colour — colloquially …

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Ted Cruz Intros Resolution Calling For Antifa And “Left Wing Activists” To Be Classified As Domestic Terrorists

Newsweek reports: A resolution introduced this week by Senators Ted Cruz and Bill Cassidy calling for the Antifa anti-fascist movement to be designated a domestic terrorist organization has been criticized for using “Antifa” and “left-wing activists” interchangeably, and possibly implying that all manner of dissent could be considered terrorism. The resolution, introduced Thursday, is titled, “Calling for the designation of …

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Dershowitz: I Have A Perfect, Perfect Sex Life [VIDEO]

Mediaite reports: Alan Dershowitz is not just a famed Harvard Law professor known for defending American citizens like O.J. Simpson and Jeffrey Epstein. He is also proud to admit his “perfect sex life” during a live television appearance Thursday night on Fox News’ The Ingraham Angle. “I have had sex with one woman since the day I met Jeffrey Epstein. …

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Trump Asks Nobel Prize Winner How She Won Nobel Prize After She Explains How She Won Nobel Prize

Agence France-Press reports: US President Donald Trump on Wednesday appeared unfamiliar with the work and cause of Nobel laureate Nadia Murad as she pleaded with him to help the Yazidis of Iraq. Murad, one of thousands of women and girls from the ancient faith abducted by the Islamic State group as they overran swathes of Iraq in 2014, joined a …

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Trump Admin Floats Less Oversight Of Nuclear Plants

The New York Times reports: A new report by staff members of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, which oversees the safety of the nation’s 59 aging nuclear power plants, recommends that the commissioners significantly weaken or reduce safety inspections of the plants. The report, published Tuesday, comes after a yearlong consultation and public meeting process, including views from the Nuclear Energy …

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Viral “Bagel Boss” Rant Guy Lands “Celebrity” Boxing Deal, Will Likely Fight Antoine “Hide Yo Kids” Dodson

TMZ reports: The short guy who lost his shit in the New York bagel shop last week is putting his viral fame to good use … by getting in the ring and beating the crap outta other “celebs.” Chris Morgan just inked a deal Monday with fighting promoter Damon Feldman — who’s arranged for Chris to put on some boxing …

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Trump Vows To Investigate Google For “Treason”

Axios reports: Peter Thiel, billionaire investor and Facebook board member, on Sunday night said that Google should be federally investigated for allegedly aiding the Chinese military. Thiel is the tech industry’s highest-profile Trump supporter, and one of the most powerful players in Silicon Valley. Thiel spoke at the National Conservatism Conference, a new event that bills itself as being focused …

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White House Projects $1 Trillion+ 2019 Federal Deficit

Reuters reports: The White House projects that the federal deficit will surpass $1 trillion this year, the only time in the nation’s history the deficit has exceeded that level, excluding the four-year period following the Great Recession. “The 2019 deficit has been revised to a projected $1.0 trillion,” the White House Office of Management and Budget (OMB) wrote in its …

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Trump Accuses Nancy Pelosi Of Racism [VIDEO]

The New York Times reports: President Trump on Monday accused Speaker Nancy Pelosi of using racist comments, escalating his attacks on four first-term Democratic congresswomen to the leader of the Democratic Party. Ms. Pelosi had criticized the president on Sunday for suggesting four lawmakers of color should “go back” to their own countries, and she said that his slogan, “ …

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Incoming Labor Secretary Was Sweatshop Lobbyist

CNBC reports: Incoming acting Labor Secretary Patrick Pizzella will take the helm of the department following the resignation Friday of Alex Acosta, who faced scrutiny over his role in prosecuting alleged sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein more than a decade ago. But Pizzella, currently deputy Labor secretary, has his own controversial past that will likely come to the fore. Democratic senators …

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Trump: Maybe Paul Ryan Was Bribed To Insult Me

New York Magazine reports: In a lengthy rant to reporters at the White House today that was unhinged even by Trumpian standards, the president made several attacks on the former Speaker of the House. Employing his favorite method of turning the insult around on the insulter, Trump claimed it was Ryan who had no knowledge of the government: “Frankly, he …

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Trump: It’s Not Freedom Of Speech If You Criticize Me

Mediaite reports: President Donald Trump had a lot to say at the White House Social Media Summit on Thursday, including offering his take on what does and does not constitute free speech. “So to me, free speech is not when you see something good and then you purposely write bad, to me that’s very dangerous speech, and you become angry …

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Trump Predictably Attacks “Failure” Paul Ryan

USA Today reports: President Donald Trump lashed out at Paul Ryan late Thursday night on Twitter following the release of excerpts from an upcoming book in which the former Speaker of the House criticized him for not knowing “anything about government.” Shortly after CNN covered Ryan’s comments about Trump in Tim Alberta’s “American Carnage,” which details how Republicans have changed …

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Trump: I’m A Great Looking Truly Stable Genius And The Media Will Not Get Away With Lying Much Longer

Glorious Leader went on one of his increasingly bizarre Twitter rants this morning in which he predicted that the “Fake News” industry will go out of business after he leaves office in “10 or 14 years.” While he adds that he’s “just kidding” about staying in office past his second term, this is at least the fifth time he’s publicly …

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Kids Charity Bails On Trump Resort’s Strip Club Benefit

The Washington Post reports: The Miami nonprofit that was supposed to benefit from a strip club’s golf tournament at President Trump’s resort in Doral, Fla., has pulled out of the event, the nonprofit’s director said Wednesday. In a phone interview, Carlos Alamilla of the nonprofit Miami Allstars Foundation said he had paid little attention to the planned event and had …

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Mayor: Trump’s Ego Rally Depleted DC Terrorism Fund

USA Today report: District of Columbia Mayor Muriel Bowser government says that the cost of President Donald Trump’s Fourth of July celebration and the cost of addressing recent protests has emptied out a municipal fund used to provide security for public events and defend against terrorist threats. In a letter to Trump dated July 9, Bowser says the city spent …

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