Idiocracy

Michigan Cultists Burn Absentee Ballot Applications

The Detroit Free Press reports: People burned letters informing them that they can vote by absentee ballot in future elections during a protest near Grand Rapids. The applications were burned Friday during an event called Operation Incinerator outside the DeltaPlex Arena in Walker. Many people had flags, shirts and signs showing support for President Donald Trump and Republicans. “For them …

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CDC: 39% Of Those Surveyed Misused Bleach After Trump Pushed Disinfectants, 4% Gargled With Cleaners

Reuters reports: More than a third of Americans misused cleaners and disinfectants to try to prevent infection by the coronavirus, according to a survey taken shortly after President Donald Trump publicly asked whether injecting such products could treat COVID-19. Washing food with bleach, using household cleaning or disinfectant products on bare skin, and intentionally inhaling or ingesting these products were …

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Writer: Trump Considered Role In “La Cage Aux Folles”

Tim O’Brien writes for Bloomberg: Donald Trump was at the steering wheel as we drove through the rain together on a New Jersey highway in 2005. He had recently considered taking the stage to play a politician in the Broadway comedy “La Cage aux Folles,” but he had other things on his mind as he glanced over at me. “I …

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Smartphone Data Suggests Protesters Spread COVID

The Guardian reports: Cellphone location data suggests that demonstrators at anti-lockdown protests – some of which have been connected with Covid-19 cases – are often traveling hundreds of miles to events, returning to all parts of their states, and even crossing into neighboring ones. The data, provided to the Guardian by the progressive campaign group the Committee to Protect Medicare, …

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Trump: In My Mother’s Eyes I Could Do No Wrong So “Maybe That’s Why I Ended Up The Way I Ended Up”

The Associated Press reports: Reflecting on Mother’s Day this weekend, President Donald Trump said Friday that he could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes and perhaps that’s what framed his personality today. “I had a great mom. I loved my mom and she loved me, which … is probably not easy to do,” Trump told Fox News in an …

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Florida Cultists Parade Hundreds Of “MAGA Boats”

The Palm Beach Post reports: A fleet of more than 300 boats paraded along the Intracoastal waterway Sunday in support of President Donald Trump with flag-waving spectators cheering from canal banks and seawalls. The procession, which traveled from Jupiter to Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach and back, was dubbed “Trumptilla” by some supporters, who learned of the pageant through Facebook. It …

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CORRECTION: Outfit Selling $100 “Historic COVID-19 Coins” Is No Longer Formally Connected To The WH

From the official site of the White House gift shop: COVID-19 , WE FOUGHT THE UNSEEN ENEMY, Everyday Heroes, President Donald J, Trump, Vice President Michael R. Pence, Secretary S. Mnuuchin, Drs. Jerome Adams, Deborah Birx, Anthony Fauci. Pre-Order Special Price $100. 20% of Proceeds Donated Each Day to U.S. Hospitals including Johns Hopkins for its COVID-19 Coordination and Trackins. …

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NYT: Trump Spends Half His Day Watching Cable News

The New York Times reports: President Trump arrives in the Oval Office these days as late as noon, when he is usually in a sour mood after his morning marathon of television. He has been up in the White House master bedroom as early as 5 a.m. watching Fox News, then CNN, with a dollop of MSNBC thrown in for …

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Mnuchin: Stimulus Money Should Last For 10 Weeks

Business Insider reports: President Donald Trump’s appointed head of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, is under fire for comments he made Wednesday in which he appeared to suggest the $1,200 stimulus payments could last people up to 10 weeks. “I think the entire package provides economic relief overall for about 10 weeks,” Mnuchin told CBS’ Face the Nation. “Hopefully we will …

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Trump Will “Take A Look” At Pardon For Joe Exotic

Two days ago Junior suggested this to troll the media. NBC News reports: During the White House briefing on the coronavirus pandemic, a reporter asked President Trump if he would consider a pardon for Joe Exotic. Joe Exotic, whose real name is Joseph Maldonado-Passage, is the centerpiece of the Netflix viral documentary “Tiger King.” The 57-year-old is currently serving a …

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Trump Executive Order Encourages Mining The Moon

The Guardian reports: The world may be racked by the coronavirus, but Donald Trump has less earthly concerns on his mind, too, after signing an executive order encouraging the US to mine the moon for minerals. The executive order makes clear that the US doesn’t view space as a “global commons”, opening the way for the mining of the moon …

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Xi Flattered Trump Out Of Saying “Chinese Virus”

The Daily Beast reports: In a private conversation with President Donald Trump during the rapid acceleration of the coronavirus pandemic, China’s leader Xi Jinping went out of his way to deploy one of the most effective diplomatic maneuvers of the current American era: aggressive flattery. In a phone call to discuss the international health crisis last week, Xi stressed to …

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NJ Man Charged For Hosting 47-Person “Corona Party”

NBC News reports: New Jersey officials are bringing formal charges against a man for throwing a house party — an action in direct contradiction with the state’s order to practice social distancing. The Mercer County Prosecutor’s Office said a 54-year-old man hosted nearly 50 people inside his Ewing Township apartment. Prosecutors are charging the man with two disorderly persons citations. …

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Trump Campaign Spox: The President Is “The Best Authority” On The Issue Of Holding Campaign Rallies

The Hill reports: A spokeswoman for President Trump’s reelection campaign defended Trump’s decision to continue holding campaign rallies despite the spread of coronavirus, saying in an interview with Fox Business Network’s Stuart Varney that Trump is “the best authority on this issue.” Campaign spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany said the rallies would continue despite National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases head …

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Dr. Stabby Won’t “Preview” Virus Plan For Cruise Ship

The Daily Beast reports: During his appearance on ABC’s This Week, Ben Carson was asked by anchor George Stephanopoulos what plan was in place for the ship when it docked as 21 passengers, 19 of which are crew members, have already tested positive for the virus. “The cruise ship personnel and, as you know, the vice president met with the …

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Melania Rages: Everyone Stop Being So Mean To Me!

The Associated Press reports: Melania Trump pushed back Saturday after photos she tweeted of herself overseeing a White House construction project generated an online backlash. On Thursday, the first lady tweeted a series of pics, including two of herself wearing a hard hat while reviewing blueprints for the construction of a tennis pavilion on the south grounds. Critics lashed out, …

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Trump Campaign Sues CNN For “Defamation”

The New York Post reports: President Trump’s re-election campaign filed a libel lawsuit against CNN on Friday night — the third such suit against a media organization in the last 10 days. The suit, filed in US District Court, alleges that CNN intentionally published “false and defamatory” statements about the Trump campaign seeking help from Russia to win the 2020 …

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Romney Caves, Will Back GOP Probe Into Burisma

CNN reports: Republican Sen. Mitt Romney of Utah plans to vote in favor of a subpoena as part of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee’s investigation into Burisma, a key decision that could advance the GOP investigation into the Ukrainian energy firm tied to Joe Biden’s son. Romney had raised concerns that the investigation had the appearance of …

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Vodka Maker: You Can’t Use Us For Hand Sanitizer

Eater reports: Tito’s vodka might be “handmade,” but it’s not made for your hands. The social media team at the Austin-based vodka maker — which is the top-selling spirit in America — is working overtime on Twitter today, forced to repeatedly explain that its product is not a suitable substitute for hand sanitizer — it just smells like it would …

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Cultists Attack Garth Brooks Over Barry Sanders Jersey (Barry Sanders Is Ex-Detroit Lions Star Running Back)

The Hill reports: Garth Brooks wore a Barry Sanders jersey to a recent concert in Detroit, leading to some of his online followers mistakenly believing the country music icon was showing support for Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.). Barry Sanders is a former NFL running back for the Detroit Lions who is now in the NFL Hall of Fame. Brooks, 58, …

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