Idiocracy

Los Angeles’s ABC affiliate reports: A couple whose botched gender reveal sparked the deadly El Dorado Fire in 2020 has agreed to a plea deal that includes jail time, community service and nearly $1.8 million in restitution, officials announced Friday. The El Dorado Fire burned through nearly 23,000 acres in the Inland Empire in the fall of 2020, destroying some …

The Idaho Statesman reports: An Idaho lawmaker wants to expand a law that bans cannibalism over fears about a rise in human composting. Rep. Heather Scott, R-Blanchard, introduced a bill Thursday to expand the state’s cannibalism ban and told a legislative committee that she’s worried about the possibility that people are eating other people. “This is going to be normalized …

The Texas Observer reports: The Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) recently arrested two right-wing bloggers riding in a caravan near Eagle Pass after finding what law enforcement described as a plastic bag containing a “white powdery substance,” marijuana, and THC edibles in their Mercedes SUV, which also reeked of cannabis, according to a police report. Celeste April Sparks and …

TMZ reports: Conservatives are up in arms over Netflix’s depiction of Alexander The Great as a gay man in their new docuseries despite a long-standing belief that the dude was definitely bi. The “End Wokeness” X account — widely known in right-wing circles — took offense to ATG, played by Buck Braithwaite, passionately kissing his pal/ potential lover Hephaestion early …

Reuters reports: U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg on Monday said human drivers must pay attention at all times after videos emerged of people driving Teslas while wearing what appeared to be Apple’s recently released Vision Pro headset. Buttigieg responded on X to a video that had more than 24 million views of a Tesla driver who appeared to be gesturing …

Mediaite reports: The Trumpworld freakout over Taylor Swift now includes Trump attorney Alina Habba suggesting the world needs fewer women like Swift — and more like Alina Habba. A Twitter/X user posted a photo of Habba and one of Swift, and wrote “Who thinks this country needs a lot more women like Alina Habba, and a lot less like Taylor …

Politico reports: The Capitol Visitor’s Center has reported Rep. Rich McCormick to the House sergeant at arms, according to an email reviewed by POLITICO, accusing him of “unsafe actions” while on a tour of the Capitol’s dome Tuesday and doing pull-ups on railings suspended hundreds of feet above the ground. The Georgia Republican went beyond a posted sign reading “no …

“Alright, you’re about to see the fake news version of the worst flub in the world. Now they know it’s not the worst flub. It’s not the worst gaffe. But they say Trump made it so it must be really, really bad. I don’t think it is that bad and, actually, might even be great, as in it’s not a …

Fox News reports: Judge Judith Sheindlin, better known to fans as Judge Judy, is endorsing Nikki Haley in the 2024 presidential race. “I’m proud to endorse Nikki Haley because she is whip smart, has executive credentials and was a superb governor,” Sheindlin said in a statement. “She has international gravitas as Ambassador to the United Nations. She is principled, measured …

The Daily Mail reports: An official collection of ninety-four available MAGA hats from Donald Trump’s run for president in 2020 has gone on the market for a whopping $250,000. An eBay listing shows an image of the iconic hat collection, with nearly 100 different styles for sale, including “Farmers for Trump” and “Cops for Trump.” The package also includes “Women …

Reuters reports: Hershey has been sued by a Florida woman who said its holiday-themed Reese’s peanut butter candies lack the artistic details shown on the packaging that make them worth buying. In a proposed federal class action filed on Thursday and seeking at least $5 million, Cynthia Kelly accused Hershey of deceiving reasonable consumers by falsely promising that its candies …

“Well, this country is mired in so much contradiction and confusion. We don’t even know how we can help anyone anymore because we can’t agree who needs help. I mean, what doesn’t come with a trigger warning these days? “I mean, Tucker, we are far too close to having a beanbag chair in the Oval Office. We coddled everybody. Okay? …

Florida Politics reports: Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson isn’t letting big government get in the way of jolly St. Nick. Simpson approved an emergency order waiving any and all state regulations through Dec. 25 that could delay Santa as he travels across the states delivering toys to children. The order states that the Free State of Florida, “hereby known as the …

Gothamist reports: Authorities said a security checkpoint X-ray machine at LaGuardia Airport wiped an Arkansas man of his luggage after his bag triggered an alarm, prompting officers to unwrap 17 9mm bullets that had been “artfully concealed” inside of an otherwise clean disposable baby diaper, the TSA said. The man first told officials he didn’t know how the deadly diaper …

The Sportster reports: In the UFC 296 main card, featherweight Josh Emmett unleashed a powerful strike that knocked out Bryce Mitchell, creating a disturbing scene after the match as Mitchell appeared to have a seizure. In the midst of the main card opener in Las Vegas on Saturday, Emmett delivered a devastating right punch that rendered Mitchell unconscious in the …

Mediaite reports: Maye Musk, the mother of billionaire X/Twitter owner Elon Musk, complained to President Joe Biden on Wednesday after the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) opted not to give Musk’s Starlink nearly $900 million in government subsidies. After FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr protested the decision and accused his agency of joining a “growing list of federal agencies engaging in the …

Los Angeles’s ABC affiliate reports: An extreme sports athlete from Santa Barbara County was sentenced to six months in federal prison on Monday for intentionally crashing a small plane for a YouTube stunt and then destroying the wreckage. In November 2021, authorities say Trevor Jacob, 30, took off from the Lompoc City Airport in his single-engine Taylorcraft BL-65 on a …

Futurism reports: After getting in so much trouble over co-signing antisemitism that he had to go on an apology tour to Israel, noted tech weirdo Elon Musk tweeted a Pizzagate meme — and then deleted it, seemingly realizing that once again he had self-inflicted a terrible self-own. In a post made on the social network he owns that’s still visible …

Los Angeles’s Fox affiliate reports: A man was arrested Sunday after he was seen naked wandering around the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disneyland, forcing the ride to shut down for more than an hour while park guests looked on in confusion. The man was seen climbing over the display and into the fake water in front of the …

Des Moines’ CBS affiliate reports: The superintendent of Indianola Schools is apologizing after parents say a quote tied to Nazis was included in the morning announcements. On Monday, some Indianola parents shared an email with KCCI, which appears to be the day’s middle school morning announcements. At the bottom, it included the “Respect Quote of the Day,” which was “My …